A/N: So sorry that I took longer to post. Your guys' words of encouragement while I was sick was so very helpful. Thank you so much.

Please come visit my blog! (link is on my profile) I post this story there as well as random postings, fanfic rec's, interviews with other authors, hot pictures and more. It is still in the early stages so there is not a lot listed yet, but there soon will be. I love the creative control I can have on there and would like to share it with all of you!

Thanks to my wonderful beta LittleLea05

Disclaimer: Plot mine, everything else, Stephenie Meyer

There may be a great fire in our soul, yet no one ever comes to warm himself at it, and the passers-by see only a wisp of smoke. ~Vincent Van Gogh

Chapter 6 – History Lesson

Flashback – Bella POV, Four years ago

I looked around the restaurant waiting for Rose and Alice to show up. We decided to stop going to Marty's every Friday night while Rose was pregnant. It wasn't fair to leave her out of all the fun to go drink when she couldn't. I heard the bell at the front door and glanced up. Alice came bouncing over towards me as I watched a very pregnant Rose waddle off to the restroom.

"Hey Alice" I got up and gave her a quick hug.

"Hey Bella. Rose will be right back; you know how she is…" I laughed.

"She is in her last few weeks, of course I know." We ordered some drinks and appetizers while waiting for Rose. We talked about the week and everything going on in our lives. I was still so very excited that Jasper and Alice had decided to kick the birth control and join the parents' only club too. I loved the idea of being an auntie to Rose's baby girl, what's one more little baby to spoil rotten and then send back to their parents? Rose had just sat down when the waiter brought our drinks over.

"So Bella…indulge my curiosity and tell me more about your relationship with this newbie." Rose asked as she tried to make herself comfortable.

"Jake. His name is Jacob." I mumbled back as I took a quick sip from my iced tea.

"Hot muscled firefighter is his name, giving me some details is your game. Get on with it."

"Rose, that was so corny. Besides, you have your own hot firefighter to worry about, why do you need to know the details about mine?" I glanced at Rose and looked over at Alice as well. They were gonna gang up on me, I just knew it.

Alice smiled wickedly before she spoke. "Bella, you should know better. We may both have our own hot firefighters but there is nothing wrong with appreciating another fine specimen of firefighter sex."

"Besides, I can't exactly do what I want with my own firefighter right now." Rose said as she gestured to her ever growing baby bump. "I have to live vicariously through you."

I sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Get on with all of your questioning." I waved my hand at them and took another drink of my tea. Tonight might end up being the longest night of my life. I reluctantly started to answer all of the questions they started rapidly firing off. "Been together about four months. Yes, of course I have had sex with him at the station. No Alice, we haven't done it in the shower there. Why Rose? Seriously? Do you want your husband to walk in and see that? No Alice, I will not tell you how big he is. Rose, eww, I am not even going to dignify that with an answer."

Our food had arrived sometime during their twenty question's session. I decided I would not be answering anymore of their questions after the very last one from Rose. That girl was almost a little too kinky for my tastes. No wonder Emmett loves her so much.

Our conversation comfortably flowed into Rose's pregnancy and the next couple of weeks to come. We had thrown her a baby shower the week before but she needed a few more things before she left for her maternity leave. We had decided upon a shopping trip in the morning in order to get the last few supplies. The waiter had just taken our plates from the table when my cell phone chimed with a text. I pulled it from my pocket to find a text from Jake. I'll be at your apartment in thirty minutes, I need to see you. I couldn't help the smile that came over my face.

"Looks like someone just got a message from somebody special…" Alice crooned as she smiled at me.

"Yeah, he wants to see me tonight. In like thirty minutes." I smiled and put my phone back in my pocket.

"Isabella Swan….if I didn't know any better, I'd say you look like a woman in love." Rose raised a disbelieving eyebrow at me.

"Nearly there." I whispered. "I can easily see it going that direction. Things with Jake are so easy and free spirited. He is so fun to be around."

"So, does that mean you told him?" Alice questioned.

"Yes."

"Everything?"

I nodded. "Yes Alice."

Rose looked confused. "Told him what?"

"About my mom." I saw the recognition dawn across Rose's face before she spoke again. "It took you nearly a year to tell me and you told him after a few months? How did he react?"

"He said it didn't matter, that she was the idiot that left and I shouldn't let it hold me back. He was accepting. I never thought I could trust anyone with it let alone a guy. I thought for sure he'd turn and run away in the opposite direction."

"Well….that's good right?" Alice asked as she signed the slip to pay the bill to her portion of dinner.

I smiled and nodded. "Very good."

"Awww Bella…" Alice got up and hugged me. "I'm so happy for you. Come on; let's get out of here so you can go see your man." We both helped Rose up from her chair and slowly made our way to the door. Ten minutes later I found myself standing in front of my building. I could feel the giddiness bubbling up in me as I started up the stairs. Rose was right. I was a woman in love. Well, almost in love. Okay, more like, I can see myself in love with Jacob in the future. I wasn't lying when I told them that a relationship with Jake was easy. It was fun, his humor never seemed to stop, he had his moments where he needed to be serious and responsible but he also knew when to let go. And he was more than attractive, I wouldn't lie. The only thing I would change would be the passion we shared during sex. Or I should say lack of passion. There was enough there for me for it to be enjoyable and fulfilling, but I didn't have that absolute desire to push him up against a door and rip his shirt off. It was always so easily planned and repetitive. Bedroom, kissing, foreplay, blow job, missionary, girl on top, him sound asleep. But I did feel like I could fall in love with him. It would be so simple letting him all the way in. But, was I settling?

I reached the door of my apartment to find him standing against the frame. He wasn't smiling like I thought he'd be. He actually looked rather…glum. I reached him and pulled him into a tight hug. His arms didn't wrap around me as tight as they normally did. He didn't even kiss me hello.

"Come on, let's get inside." He mumbled as he took the keys from my hand and unlocked the door. I was nervous now. The last time I saw him look like this was when we lost a person in a fire in his first few weeks. I made my way into my studio and took off my jacket, hanging it up in the little closet behind the door. I walked over and took a seat on the edge of my bed. I watched as Jake walked back and forth in an almost frustrated away. Yet at the same time he looked miserable and incredibly sad. I wanted to get up and comfort him, but every time I made a move to stand he'd stop pacing and put up a hand to stop me. This went on for several minutes before I gave up.

"Jake, please just tell me what is going on? You're making me nervous." He finally stopped his pacing and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're going to hate me." He whispered and I felt my heart break. It was so heartbreaking hearing his voice crack.

"That can't be possible Jake. Nothing you could say would make me hate you." I love you. I think. "You're like my best friend."

"Okay…But do know that I do care for you more than I thought I could ever care for someone else." He whispered this as he rubbed his hands over his face. I watched as he leaned up against the back of my couch across from me. His stance became ridged as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was becoming guarded. "I….uh…I met someone else." I sucked in a deep breath as his words cut me. "I'm sorry Bella….I hadn't planned on this….I never wanted to hurt you…."

I hissed at his words. "Okay…well that could definitely make me hate you. How long?" I asked through clinched teeth.

"Two months." I groaned.

"And you said you never wanted to hurt me…"

"Bella…I'm so sorry…but I…." He trailed off.

"You what Jacob? Finish that sentence…."

"Love her. She, Leah…" He mumbled her name. I would have been fine not having a name to put with the faceless girl. "Anyhow…she is perfect for me. It's like I found my other half and I should have broke it off with you when I started with her, and I know that, but I loved spending time with you as well."

"Nothing like having your cake and eating it too, right?" I asked seething.

"Bella, it's not like that…"

I interrupted him. "Were you sleeping with us both at the same time?" He didn't answer. "I'll take your silence as a yes." I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes. The pressure was great and threatening to spill over but I would not cry in front of him.

"Yes…." He was quiet for a few minutes before he finally broke the silence. "I'm so sorry Bella, after everything we've been through, everything you've told me about your mo…"

"DON'T!" I interrupted. "Don't you dare bring that up now. I trusted you and look where it led me. I'll never date another firefighter again, now I have to see you everyday knowing that you know everything. Everything I have never told anyone because it hurt too much. Everything that can destroy me in seconds and you just carelessly took it in and tossed it aside because you were too much of a coward to grow a pair and do what was right."

"Bella, I'm sorry but Leah really needs me right now."

"What's that suppose to mean? If she didn't need you right now, you wouldn't be breaking up with me? You'd keep dating us both until it blew up in your face?"

"She's….she's pregnant Bella…." His voice was so quiet I could barely hear him. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces in my chest. No other words could have hurt me so much.

"After….after everything, all of what I have told you, did…did it mean nothing to you? My heart… my feelings…it was so easy for you to crush my heart now that you have your perfect woman and perfect family, right?" I knew my voice was rising louder than it should be.

"Bella, please…you know it wasn't intentional…"

"Get out!" I screeched.

"Bella…"

"No Jacob, get out. Go away and leave me alone. I don't want to speak to you again unless I absolutely have to." I started pushing him towards the door. I wanted him out of my apartment and out of my life.

"Please Bella…"

"No…"

"Bella…"

"Get out and leave me alone."

"Bella…"

"No."

"Bella."

"No. Get out."

Edward POV – Present day

I don't know what woke me up, but as soon as my eyes started to flutter open, I was confused. I was looking up at the ceiling of a room I didn't recognize, lying in a bed that wasn't mine. My head was pounding ever so slightly and I was incredibly warm. "No." I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard her voice. It was so fierce and full of hatred that it startled me. I looked over to find Bella asleep next to me in bed. The night's events started rushing back in full force. The bar, pool, body shots, walking home….Bella asking me to stay. I was elated when she had asked me to stay. I wasn't going to try anything, of course not. I had resigned to the fact that we really shouldn't be anything more than just friends no matter what my mind and heart were arguing. I had too many issues of my own to burden her with. But I crawled into bed next to her none the less. I was just going to curl up next to her. I was just going to fall asleep. But Bella had different ideas. She immediately rolled over and slid up next to me, hugging onto me for dear life. If I didn't know any better, I would hazard to guess that she was starving for attention. Perhaps attention was the wrong word, comfort, love, someone to hug her.

"Get out. Leav…" She mumbled the rest of whatever she was saying in her sleep. It sounded like she was having a nightmare.

"Bella…" I shook her shoulder gently.

"No." She turned over in the bed, pushing her arms against me pushing me away.

"Bella…" I sighed. "Please wake up. You're having a bad dream."

"No. Get out." I shook her shoulder a little more roughly. I couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about.

"Bella!" Her body stilled finally and her breathing lessened. Her eyes started to crack open. "Bella…are you okay?"

She slowly sat up bringing her hand to her forehead and wiping the sheen of sweat away. "What…what the hell?"

"You were dreaming, a nightmare I would guess. Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

She relaxed back against her pillow and let out a long breath. "Yeah, I think so…." She suddenly looked over and seemed to notice that I was sitting in the same bed as her, sans a t-shirt. "We didn't…um…last night…"

I smiled shaking my head. "No. You fell asleep while we were watching a movie, you told me to stay instead of going home…so I did. Is that okay, do you want me to leave?" I asked as I started to get out of bed. I felt a hand reach over and grab my arm, stopping me.

"No, please stay. That dream was a little too….surreal." I nodded and slid back in next to her. She quickly curled up next to me again. She felt good in my arms. I needed a distraction.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" We sat in silence for several minutes. I figured that she had fallen back to sleep before she could answer but was stunned when she finally did.

"It wasn't a dream." She sighed. "It was memory….of the night that Jake left."

"Oh…" I whispered. I wasn't expecting that. "You can talk about it if you like. I am here to listen…" I offered.

"Um…." She hesitated, letting out a deep sigh and started talking. "I was on my way to being in love with Jake. But looking back on it now, I knew I was lying to myself. I wasn't in love with him; I was in love with the idea of him. The idea of that 'one guy' that knew all my secrets and still accepted me for who I am regardless of them. I don't know why I felt so compelled to tell him everything; it was so easy with us. I wish…." Her voice broke ever so slightly, "I wish he didn't know. I am so vulnerable to him, he knows too much and can easily hurt me. He has hurt me."

I rubbed my hand up and down her back trying to sooth her. "That's what you're supposed to do with someone you're dating though, right? Let them into your life and see who you are. It's not your fault that Jacob turned out to be a dog burying his bone in multiple places."

She chuckled lightly. "Nice analogy." I laughed along with her. "I agree though. People should show their other half of who they really are in order to make the relationship work. But what I told him…it took me years to tell Alice and Rose, and other than Jake, they're the only other ones besides my dad that know."

I was confused. Something much bigger than having her heart broken had happened to Bella. I wanted to know. Not just because I was curious, but because I wanted to do whatever I could to help her. "I'm here whenever, if ever, you feel like talking about it, whatever it is."

"It's about my mother and I need to know you for longer than a week and actually have some trust in you before I can talk about it. I'm sorry but you can blame Jake for that. He made it where I don't trust anyone anymore."

I nodded my head even though she really couldn't see it. "If it's any consolation, I lost my mother too. I don't know what you went through, what circumstances happened, but do know that I can understand the pain of losing a parent, whatever the conditions may be."

"I'm sorry…" She whispered. "I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. But the same goes to you. If you ever want to…you know…talk about it too."

"Yeah…It doesn't hurt me to talk about it as much anymore. I was seven when it happened and I don't remember her that well. It's been sixteen years…I have had enough time to cope with the loss."

"Can I ask what happened?" She whispered quietly. He her hand started moving across my chest, seemingly trying to comfort me.

I took a deep breath and tried to decide if I was ready enough to open up about this. Like Bella, I had only told a couple people why my father and I moved out to Port Angeles when I was so young. It wasn't so much him starting a new job as it was us starting over, running away from the bad memories. Even though it had been many years, the pain was still there - especially after this week. Starting my new job as a firefighter rehashed all my old memories bringing them front and center. But Bella seemed trustworthy. She seemed like she genuinely cared about what was going on. All week she had been more than supportive and helpful. She was turning out to be the closest thing to a real friend that I've had in years.

"It was Christmas time when it happened. My father…he's a lawyer, rich and careless to say the least. We had a huge three story house in Chicago. My parents' room was on the top floor, mine was on the second and the bottom was always used to house guests and parties my father insisted on being the host of for his firm. I can still remember it like it was yesterday, sitting on the stairs listening to the Christmas music playing, hearing the chattering of the guests, the smell of the cigar smoke. Those are memories I will never forget." I took a deep breath and shuttered. Saying this out loud was harder than I thought it would be.

"My father had decided to have a large Christmas party the night before Christmas. I remember sitting on the steps and listening in for hours on end. I was told I was too young to join the party, but my father had never even noticed me sitting there. I couldn't see my mother in the crowd. I found out later on that she had gone to bed shortly after she put me to bed. I snuck back out of course, and I think that is probably the only reason I am alive today. I didn't know until afterwards what all had happened. I barely remember my father running up the stairs to grab me. He ran outside and threw me into the arms of a firefighter. I was crying for my mother. I remember seeing him run back towards the house but he was stopped by another firefighter." I took another shuttering breath trying to will away the onslaught of tears.

Bella started running her hand up and down my chest more frequently trying to calm me down as I continued. "I found out the next day that an ember had popped from the fireplace and landed next to the Christmas tree. Within seconds the thing was engulfed, followed shortly by the couch and everything else in the room. Everyone at the party made it out safely. In the short period of time that we were outside, the house became fully engulfed and the smoke made it to the second floor and then the third. My dad had tried to go back in to get my mother, but they stopped him. They tried to get to her in time, but there weren't enough firefighters on scene. I was told she died of smoke inhalation and I was told she didn't feel anything. That was the day I decided to dedicate my life to the fire service. I wanted to be able to help someone, save someone's mother from the same fate as my own."

I could feel the tears silently streaming down my face. I hadn't expected to tell her so much, with so much detail. I hadn't spoken this candidly about my mother since the counselor my father forced me to go talk to. I could only hope that now things wouldn't change exponentially between us. Then I felt it – the warm wet tears on my shoulder. Bella was crying too.

"I am…I'm…so sorry Edward." She let out quietly. "Nobody should ever have to go through that, especially at such a young age."

"It's okay Bella." I tightened my arms around her. I was grateful she was in my arms for this conversation. Her body being so close to my own was such an unknown comfort. "I have learned to live with it. Yes, I miss her so very much, but I know that I am doing something good with my experience. I turned her death around into the motivation to help others."

She sniffled. "What was her name?"

I let out a deep breath. "Elizabeth."

"What a beautiful name."

"She was beautiful woman."

It was silent in the room for several minutes. Just the sound of our breathing and Bella's occasional sniffle could be heard. I couldn't help but wonder what Bella was thinking. I didn't want her to take pity on me and that be the only reason she was around me. I didn't want that. I didn't want things to really change at all between us. I liked the way things were going. I couldn't deny however, that having her know my past lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, a weight I didn't realize I had still been carrying. It was a relief knowing that she understood my pain and could relate to me on an entirely different level than anyone else. And if I was being honest with myself, I wanted to see if we could be together on a different level. I kind of liked having her here in my arms, her body so warm and content next to mine. That dangerous line between friendship and something more was getting more blurry by the second and before too long, we would have to tip one way or the other.

Bella sat up suddenly and looked down at me. I couldn't read the emotions in her eyes but I know things had officially changed. But changed to what would be the question. I opened my mouth to speak but Bella beat me to it. "Edward, that's the bravest thing I have ever heard. Not only did you overcome the adversity of losing your mother at such a young age, horrifically none the less, but you gained from the experience. Elizabeth did not die in vain. You are going to make one of the best firefighters I have ever met, you know why?" She didn't even let me answer as she continued. "Because this is more than a job to you, it's personal. Your heart is in it 110% because you don't want anyone else to ever go through what you did. Your compassion astounds me and I am so honored and lucky to be working with you."

I slowly sat up next to her as her words sunk in. She was such an amazingly diverse woman. To go from being such a strong leader with her crew, to being innocent, to sexy and anything but ordinary to encouraging and considerate the next. That blurry friendship line just became sharp and clear and I would be stepping over it.

"Bella…" I whispered as I lifted my hand to her cheek. I gently wiped off the last bit of tears slowly drying from her face as I let my hand drift to her neck and pull her lightly forward. Her eyes fluttered closed before my lips even got too entirely close to hers. Her tongue came out and lightly moistened her lips and she took in a deep breath. I leaned forward and instantly brought us together. Her lips were so soft and pliable against my own. Her taste was delicious and her scent overwhelmed me. I pulled her bottom lip in between my own slightly deepening the kiss without fully giving in. Tonight would not be the night for that. She let out a soft little moan as I pulled away. Her eyes gradually opened to reveal her dark deep brown enticing eyes that I was on the verge of getting lost in. A small smiled appeared on her face. "Thank you for letting me get that off my chest and thank you for being so understanding."

She only smiled a little bit larger and nodded at my response. She gently pushed me back down on the bed and curled up against my side once more. She sighed contently as she shifted slightly to get more comfortable. I tightened my arms around her and dropped a gentle kiss on top of her head. "Hhmm…we should get some sleep and talk some more in the morning." Minutes later she was sound asleep again and I was left there lying awake with her in my arms wondering what was going to happen next.

A/N: Ok….so now you get to know some more history with these two. We will find out Bella's full story in due time, just be patient. But hopefully this chapter helps you to understand a bit better what Edward has been thinking. Thanks so much for reading!