A/N: Ok, I have been fail at writing as of lately. Yes, I know and I am truly sorry. I could use the ever standard real life sucks and gets in the way, but it feels like I am making excuses. But on the plus side, as of this weekend I am officially moved out of my house and can get it listed on the market, yeah me! Haha. Anyhow, enjoy the drama. Heart fail isn't going to last much longer, have faith :)

Also, I would like to remind everyone that I am co-hosting a one shot challenge with HopelessRomantic79 and Kimbercullen. There is a link on my profile for it. I would greatly appreciate you taking a look, enter, read and/or vote when the time comes. Deadline is March 16th! - Which is also my birthday :) So send me something good to read for my birthday and enter our contest, please!

Thanks to my wonderful beta LittleLea05 whom I love for always being there for me!

Disclaimer: Plot mine, everything else, Stephenie Meyer

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

Chapter 13 – Shores of California

Edward POV

The door shut behind her with a deafening click. My heart was beating wildly and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my blood rushing through my system and pounding in my ears.

She left.

I slumped down to the ground in my living room and looked around, lost. I had no idea what to do or even what to think. I knew Bella had issues, who doesn't? But...damn, Bella had issues. And doing all of this, her yelling at me telling me I couldn't love her, because why, she didn't want to take away my chance at being a father? What the hell? Who caused her to believe that love doesn't matter? Oh right, her mother. I couldn't help but wonder how a mother could walk out on her daughter the way that Bella's mom did.

I could honestly care less whether or not she could ever bare children. I wasn't in love with her for her ability to provide me with kids. I was in love with her, because as cheesy as it sounded, she completed me. She was the other half to my whole and I would be damned if I just let her walk away like she was leaving me for the greater good. Like her "sacrifice" was supposed to make me feel better. I don't want kids unless it was with her because I didn't want anyone standing at my side but her. There was other ways to have a family if in the end we wanted one. Adoption, foster care or anything. I'd do anything for Bella. To love her, live with her and be with her for life - even if that meant just being friends. But you better believe I am not going down without a fight.

I got up off my floor and stumbled onto the couch. I knew I wouldn't get any sleep if I slept in my bed tonight, not when that was where everything went down at. I just needed to clear my head and set a plan in order to get Bella to see I love her anyways. I will do what I can to work with her and her…issues in order to be with her. I had three more days of this holiday weekend to talk to her, make her see.

Shit. I was hit with the sudden realization that this was a holiday weekend, a weekend we were suppose to spend entirely together. A family weekend. No wonder she reacted like she did. Her emotions were running far higher than normal just because this weekend had the social pressure of familial duty. I shook my head trying to clear it out of all the questions swirling around. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was closing midnight. I knew I was too exhausted, emotionally and physically, to do anything right now. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and curled up hoping to get some sleep. I had my plan, I would not let this ruin us, and all I needed to do was set it in motion….first thing in the morning.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my phone beeping at me from my room for a missed call. I fell off the couch and scrambled into my bedroom faster than I think I normally move when the bell goes off at work for a fire. I darted in my room and crawled across my bed thinking it would get me to the nightstand on the other side faster. My heart sank when I saw that it was a missed call from my father and not Bella. I dialed my voicemail and listen to his short terse message wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and telling me he had plans to go to Hawaii for Christmas, most likely with whatever new little intern he picked up from work.

I checked the time and noticed it was already after eight. I decided to take a quick shower, dress and then head over to Bella's apartment. It was a little after nine when I finally pulled up in front of her building. I jogged up the stairs and was standing in front of her door when my nerves started kicking in. My palms started to sweat, my heart was beating rapidly – you would think I was standing in full turnouts without a hose in hand ready to run into the nearest burning building. I raised my hand and knocked on the door.

I waited.

No answer.

I knocked again.

A few minutes later, still no answer.

She wasn't home? Where the hell would she have gone? I headed back downstairs to my truck and climbed in. I sat behind the wheel of my truck just thinking for several minutes. I wasn't expecting her to not be at home. I started my truck and pulled away, determined to find her. I drove past her dads place first, thinking perhaps she went to spend the weekend there instead. No such luck. Her truck wasn't in front of his building, nor Alice and Jaspers or Emmett and Rose's. I was quickly running out of options and starting to get worried. I didn't want to ask our friends afraid of what they may think or say. I wanted to work this out without outside help.

They all knew. All of our friends had to have known this about Bella and chose to not say anything to me. It all started dawning on me. Alice's influence, Jaspers warnings, Jake's behavior – all of it clicked into place. Her past problems were why they babied her and treated her with kid gloves; they didn't want to hurt her. But I couldn't necessarily be mad at them for not telling me, it wasn't their place and I respected them for not saying anything. They all wanted what was best for her.

Except Jacob. What an asshole. I can completely understand the animosity there now. She probably thought by telling Jake about her condition they would be closer, she was letting him in. And what did he do? He turned around and cheated on her and knocked another woman up, or thought he did. No wonder Bella had the great wall around her heart. Everyone she let in broke it. Well, almost everyone. Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett will probably always have a place.

I pulled up in front of my place and quickly went inside. I pulled out my cell phone and sat down on my couch. No new text messages or phone calls from Bella. I knew I should try calling her but I didn't think this was the type of conversation to have over the phone. I wanted it to be in person so she could see the sincerity on my face, in my words and my arms when I got to hold her again.

I pulled up Bella's contact information and clicked send. The phone rang loudly in my ear as I waited impatiently for her to pick up. Her voicemail picked up instead.

"This is Bella. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave me a message and I will get back to you when I can. Thanks, bye."

Her voice rang through my ears, tempting me but leaving me high and dry. The phone beeped and I didn't know what to say, though I knew I shouldn't just hang up. I cleared my throat before I began. "Um…Hi Bella. Listen I don't know what to really say. I went by your place today but you weren't there. I even tried your dads, Alice's and Rose's place. I don't know where you are but it's scaring me and I just wish I knew you were okay. I would rather have this conversation in person Bella, you deserve better than a voicemail I'm sorry. Cause Bella…" I paused, rubbed my hand down my face and let out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry your mother was that cruel to you to not see what a great person she had as a daughter. And I'm sorry that Jacob was such an ass to give up the best thing he would have ever had the honor of loving. But my sorry's mean nothing because I wasn't the one that inflicted that pain on you. I'm the one that loves you and wants to take that pain away and replace it with something good." I paused again, undecided on how I should end this call. "I understand you probably need some time and don't want to talk right now. I respect that. But will you please just let me know that you are okay and that I don't have to call the local ER's next to see if you are laid up there. Please? I love you Bella, please don't think I take those words lightly. Okay? Please call me. Bye."

I lay up against the arm of the couch and closed my eyes. I was so exhausted and worried that I hardly knew what to do with myself. My phone vibrated in my hand and my eyes snapped open. I looked down to notice a text message from Bella. I opened it as fast I could, just grateful to hear from her.

"I'm fine. I'm not at the hospital. Yes I need time. Don't call."

My heart broke at the last two words. Don't call. She didn't want to hear from me. I found myself up and on my feet barely walking into the next room. I flopped on my bed, grabbed a corner of the comforter and rolled over. I begged sleep to talk take me, anything to ease my mind from running marathons trying to figure out what happen. What went wrong?

I didn't hear from Bella the rest of the weekend. Truth be told, I didn't hear from anyone. That would assuming I got my ass out of bed for anything more than to go to the bathroom or grab a small bite to eat. It was like I had no will to live. I didn't care that I went the whole weekend without a shower, or ate nothing more than what was readably accessible. I couldn't bring myself to go actually cook anything because cooking in the kitchen reminded me too much of Bella.

My heart hammered in my chest with every step I took closer to the fire station that morning. I had to do everything possible in order to stop myself from sprinting there. I wondered if she would be there before me, or wait until the last possible second. Would she even talk to me? I rounded the corner and the station came into sight. It was a bit cold out and the engine bay doors weren't rolled up like they normally are in the mornings. I only had to assume that Bella wasn't there yet.

I could hear voices filtering down from upstairs as I climbed the steps slowly. I strained to hear any faint whisperings of a woman's voice but I heard nothing, my heart dropped further down into my stomach with each step I took. I walked into our little locker room and quickly put away my week's worth of clothes. When I entered the living room, all eyes quickly shifted to me. Conversations didn't stop however as the guys all talked about their weekends. I leaned up against the wall nearest to the kitchen, just observing.

"Hey Edward…" Emmett's jovial voice greeted me. "How was your Thanksgiving with the Swans? Where is Bella? I thought she'd be here by now, is she still down in the engine bay?" I looked over at him and watched the happiness drain from his face and into a look of melancholy. I am sure my face reflected exactly how bad the weekend actually was. "Edward, what happened?"

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. How do I answer that? I was saved from having to answer by the sounded of Carlisle's voice clearing. "Listen up. I trust you all had a good Thanksgiving break with your families, but now is when things start getting hectic. We all know how bad Christmas time can be in regards to emergencies. So let's be on top of our game, okay?" He stepped back to turn the corner and came to a halt. Turning around he flashed me a tight lipped, stern faced nod as he looked over at Jasper. "Jasper? For the next two weeks I am going to be pulling you off of the hose to start your training on the engine, okay? Jacob, I will be sticking you on the ladder truck while I do that so Edward can be paired with Emmett."

The room was silent. I could hear the cars passing on the street, my heart beating up into my throat, the clock taunting me.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Tick

"Why?" I broke the silence. Carlisle's expression changed into one of confusion as he looked over at me.

"I thought you knew Edward…" I shook my head. Please, please don't be what I think it is. Oh God please. "Bella went to California for two weeks to teach a course on engine pumping protocols to a bunch of firefighter I students. I just figured she told you?" I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs as I struggled to wrap my head around what he just said. California? I scared her off that bad that she had to run away? Was she that afraid of being loved? No, Edward you idiot, she is that afraid of being hurt. Look what Jacob and her mom did to her, can you blame her? No, I couldn't. I understood why she needed to get away, to think. I may have not liked it, but it was a price I was willing to pay if it meant she would come back to me. Damn, two weeks, nearly Christmas time before she would be back.

Carlisle left the room back towards his office, but the room was still silent. I could feel all the eyes in the room on me, probably wondering what the hell had happened. It was Jacob who was the first to speak.

"Way to go Edward. Whatever you did to piss of Bella caused her to leave for two weeks. You know how hard it's going to be shuffling around everyone on the crew just because we are one short? That's why I said you never date a fellow firefighter, something bad happens and then the rest of the crew gets fucked. Way to go probie." He was standing in front of me by the time he ended his little speech. And unluckily enough for him, he was in the perfect reaching range when the emotions within me finally snapped.

I looked up and looked right into his black malicious eyes. I could see the superiority complex in them, that look of thinking he was right and I was wrong. Fuck that. I reached out, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and swung all 230 pounds of him around and slammed him against the wall that I was just leaning against. "Why don't you shut the fuck up, Jacob about shit you don't even know about?" I took a deep breath to try and calm myself before I smashed his face in. "How could you? Do you really have no fucking heart?" I let go of his shirt and pushed him back against the wall as I stepped away.

Everyone was getting a hell of a show. "She finally told you, did she?"

"Yes." I snapped back. "She did. How could you be so cold to do that to her? Couldn't keep your dick in your pants long enough to break up with her first and spare her some pain?"

"Is that what you did?" He retorted. "Break up with her first before moving onto greener pastures? Is that why she isn't here? You find out she can never have children and is severely emotionally fucked up, so you drop her to move on to the next best thing? At least I did actually love her, whether I told her or not, and I tried to make it work instead of just trying to get into her pants like you. But you can't stop who you fall in love with, right?" He was practically screaming at me at the end of his little tirade. At some point I had begun pacing, but when he spat out the bit about moving on, I knew what was coming next and I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop myself. I turned towards him and let my fist fly, hitting him dead center of his nose making a sickening crunch. He slid down the wall as the blood began to pour.

"You mother fucker. I could care less if she could ever have children or not, I love her just the fucking way she is. And I told her as much. But because you and her mother had to be so self serving, she ran because she thinks nobody can love her, because she was broken and discarded by both of you. How can you fucking live with yourself?" I growled at him as I stepped back. I was sure everyone at the station didn't need to hear everything I had just said, but it needed to be said. I'd be lying if I said that punching Jacob once was enough, I wanted to lay into him. I leaned down and pulled his sorry ass up off the ground. The blood was pouring from his nose like a geyser and there was no way he'd be able to wear a SCBA later on. I leaned in close and whisper the last of my rant. "If you ever say anything about Bella, me or our relationship together again I will make damn sure that the birth certificate you have at home becomes nothing more than a worthless document, understood?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder tugging me back away from Jacob. I was far from being done with him, but considering I was at work and still a probationary firefighter, I could easily get fired for this little altercation. "Come on bud…" I heard Emmett's low voice ring through my ear. "Let Jasper clean Jacob up real quick. Me and you need to go talk to Carlisle." I let Emmett direct me away from the living room and down the hall towards Carlisle's office. I was not looking forward to the conversation ahead of me. If anything, I wished it was already Friday morning and I could go home again. Em didn't even bother to knock on the office door but just stepped right on in as if it was his own.

"That was quite the little performance you put on out there Edward." I heard Carlisle say as he stood in front of the filing cabinet with his back to me.

I blanched. "Um…uh…you saw that?" he nodded his head as he turned back around and took his seat and motioned for us to do the same. "Why…sir…didn't you stop me if you saw that happen?"

"I don't like violence Edward, everyone knows that. But something about Jacob rubs me the wrong way, plus, I saw that he provoked you. Now, I won't tolerate it happening again. If it happens again one of you will be leaving either by your own will or by my choice. I like you both, you're both hard workers, but please don't make me make that choice."

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I know what you were thinking Edward. All men have been there at one point, defending our women like the cavemen we can be. But don't doubt for a second that Jacob still doesn't feel something for her too. Regardless if he is married with a kid now, you didn't see them here together when they were an item. It may have been several years, but that doesn't change the intensity of it. Bella with you is the only thing I've seen rival it." He shook his head kind of smiling to himself as he shuffled some papers around on his desk. "Now, I have to punish you guys for fighting, no special treatment. Today you are going to wash all of the stock hose we have sitting in the engine bay. While you do that, I'll have Jacob do inventory of all the couplings, nozzles and other equipment we keep back stock on. These are both miserable jobs but it has to be done. Make sure you are ready at a moment's notice when and if that bell rings." With this he dismissed me but Emmett stayed sitting there, apparently needing to talk to Carlisle in private.

I made my way dejectedly to the engine bay to start pulling out the hose and unrolling it. I did a quick count and noticed I had a good twenty bundles of rolled up hose to start with. Great. I heard Jacob mumbling loudly as he came traipsing down the stairs into the engine bay as well. His face was quickly bruising in and around his eyes and he had a couple butterfly band aids over the bridge of his nose. He looked like a pitiful raccoon or something. He flipped me off once as he turned his back and made his way towards the air compressor room. I chuckled quietly to myself. Doing this hard days worth of punishments was worth the feel of Jacobs's nose fracturing under my fist.

I rolled out the first hose, grabbed a bucket, some soap and the giant brush we use to clean the fire engine and commenced on my chores. I tried to keep my mind occupied with the tedious task in front of me, but it kept wandering back to Bella each and every time. I wondered how she was doing, both emotionally and physically being in California. I didn't even know where in California she was. I stopped my task and looked out over at the training facility in front of me, flashbacks of all the things we had done in there and probably shouldn't have. The reel played through my mind like a silent movie. All the different things Bella and I had done together, and not just the sexual things either. Even mundane things like restaurants we've eaten at, movies we've watched. I felt like I was emasculating myself standing there having flashbacks of our time. She wasn't dead. She was just away, teaching a class. And when she came back, I would do everything in my power to make sure she saw that I was nothing like Jacob or her mother.

A/N: Short(ish) I know, but now that the moving is done; I should be able to write more. So, do you think that Bella is really in Cali to teach a class? Hhmm…would love to hear your thoughts on that!