Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from "Sons of Anarchy." They are the property of Kurt Sutter and Fox Network. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story.
Chapter 51
"What the hell happened to you, now?" If Tig had to explain this one more time he was going to punch someone out, and despite how most of the tension between he and Opie was dead, or at the least, dying, Tig still would have taken the chance to knock him out. Maybe if he just ignored him…nope, Ope was still waiting for an answer, now pointing to the new gauze pad and adhesive tape on his hand as they both did the routine check of the chapel before church.
"Snake." Tig finally replied, feeling like he just didn't want to use a bunch of words to talk to Opie…somehow, that was like not talking to him…but, why wasn't he talking to him? Everything that had crossed between them was now out there, the entire club knew about it, so what dark secrets was Tig trying to keep contained? Other than that Joss had intents on killing Ope…once, not anymore…as far as he knew. But not even Joss knew Tig knew that, or what it meant to him. Fuck! This was…ironic? Nope, that wasn't the right word…what was? Was there even a word to describe a situation where two different people, who really were kinda the same person, the same person because Joss did belong to Tig after all, made an attempt to kill the very same individual, and both of them failed? Opie…Jesus fucking Christ…what was it about that guy? Shit…there were people throughout history that had somehow narrowly avoided their intended death; there was Rasputin, Hitler…and Opie Winston? What the fuck?
"You have a snake?" Opie asked next, sounding a little freaked out by the idea, and that was kind of funny, but Tig didn't laugh, just wished that Ope had been around the garage more yesterday and today so that he wouldn't have to tell this piece of shit story one more time, so he didn't have to say,"I was trying to catch a chipmunk…snake bit me…so I flung it out the garage"…Jesus fucking Christ, please, no…it made everyone laugh, and not how it had made Joss laugh; Tig wouldn't go into it again, he was tired of hearing it now himself and he'd lived it!
"No, man..." Tig's annoyance showed in his voice, and his face, brow furrowed, head cocked to the side. "In my garage," he said, slowing the words down like this was something Opie had just been too dense to figure out himself. "It came in after the fucking chipmunk that was stealing all my bolts and shit; it went behind some FXR tires and I was trying to catch the chipmunk in a jar, only it was the snake instead, and it bit me."
"Poisonous?" Opie asked; Tig shook his head. He had expected Ope to cringe or something, he'd seemed to be bothered by the idea of snakes to begin with, and honestly, Tig had hoped Opie would cringe…that would have funnier still…but no, Ope just kind of shook his head and smirked at him, but he didn't laugh. "You sure you didn't bite it first?"
Oh, hilarious! Fucking jackass! Tig looked back at Opie with a half sneer, half smile, but said nothing in reply…but actually, Opie's dig was kinda cool…snakes bit people, but Tig bit snakes…yeah…spread that rumor around! Why hadn't anyone else said that? Didn't Clay and Bobby and Happy all get him better than Ope did to begin with?
Tig was all but finished with his half of the room, finding no bugs, no mics and no evidence of pinhole cameras; next on the list was to set up the cigar box in the clubhouse and make sure that all cellphones were collected and none made it into the chapel, but he paused a moment and looked at Opie, wondering how much that "thing" was still in him, or on him, or however it was that the darkness he and Tig had in common was carried. It was an eerie kinship to have, and with the most surprising of his brothers, too…but maybe because of it, Ope was beginning to get him a little more than Clay, Bobby and Happy?
"So, how's Joss?" And there it was, the darkness that bonded Tig to Ope and Ope to Tig…maybe they couldn't always see each other through its haze, but neither one of them would ever be alone it. But, why'd Opie have to go and ask about Joss? No, that wasn't cool. They may have both known what it was to toil under the yoke of that infinite despair, but there were somethings that Tig never wanted to hear Opie speak of.
"What's it to you?" Tig retorted with a tone usually heard only seconds before two guys took their argument outside. It was difficult to let go of this, it was difficult to trust that what had passed between them had indeed passed if Opie was going to inquire about Joss. What did it mean that he did? What was he thinking about her? Was he thinking about her? Tig and Ope had never been all that close, and it was because Ope lived life so differently than the way Tig meandered through it. Ope had always been like some mirror that reflected Tig's past to him, trying and striving to make it and doing everything for a wife and two kids that had been the most important things in his life…until they just weren't anymore, until he didn't know how to make them be that anymore, because even though they'd all been right there in the house with him, Tig wasn't home…he was still in Africa, and he'd never come home.
"Hey, I'm just asking, man," Opie replied quickly as he jerked around to face Tig, but he held both his hands up, no fight intended, but Tig still pushed his shoulders out, chin up, arms out a bit, looking intimidating. "The last time I saw her she was still pretty fucked up, that's all."
Tig nodded, but didn't relax. Once again, Opie should have backed off, not mentioned Joss, she was Ope's past; and Tig was her only future. "Look," Tig began and just had the feeling that whatever he said next was going to be something he wished he hadn't. "I'm sorry for all the shit between you and me, and I thank you for helping me out and staying with Joss while I went to get patched up," Tig paused; thought it over a bit and added, "and I know what it's like to want to hear how things are and hope they're good after…shit like what happened." Again Tig paused…God damn…Opie clearly didn't understand how to respect this darkness they shared. It wasn't like Tig was able to ask him about Donna. "But Joss is my old lady, Ope. You gotta let her be my old lady; that means I worry about her, not you. Cuz if you don't, this shit between you and me ain't never gonna die; it'll just keep on keepin' on until one of us kills the other. You gettin' me?"
Chapter 51; Part 2
She probably wouldn't get him, and even if she did, Tig might be annoyed that Joss had called him for such a reason, but she had made him that promise weeks ago that she was going to try to be more expressive, and let him know how happy he made her, and he'd made her incredibly happy yesterday!
"Damn," Joss sighed as she looked at the clock on the barn wall. "They're probably already in church," she said to Lauren.
"Let me try Juice!" Lauren offered, pulling her cell from the clip on the belt of her riding breeches.
"No, it's okay, I'll just leave Tig a message." Replied Joss. "I just wanted to thank him, that's all." She smiled, and ran her fingers over the envelope that Lauren had handed her when Joss had arrived at the barn, telling her, "Tig said to give this to you when I saw you today. He gave it to Juice to give to me, so I really don't know what's up."
Neither had Joss, until she opened the envelope and found two hundred and fifty dollars in cash, and a short note from Tig, which read, "I guess you need stuff to go with him now. He's like me, crazy and looks good in black." Joss had laughed, showing it to Lauren, who also laughed, and they immediately began to plan a trip to "Charming Saddlery."
Tig, he was so full of surprises lately, the good kind, not the other kind he was capable of, and while it made Joss so happy to know and understand where that came from within her man, it also made her a little bit sad. Tig knew she'd be coming over to Lauren's today, and he could have just handed her the money this morning, but no, he'd had to make another surprise of it. Joss wasn't complaining, but there was something behind this, something Tig was obviously feeling trapped inside of, and wasn't able to express, no matter how hard he was trying. Joss was fairly certain what it was he wanted her to know, that he loved her, but it was like not being able to say it, or even think to say it, was beginning to make him feel inadequate. No, Joss couldn't have him thinking that, and hoped that there was still a chance she could catch him before 'church' began so she could tell him how wonderful he was.
Yesterday, Joss had been expecting to end up at that "couples retreat" type of hotel that was about an hour north of Charming, "La Bonne Nuit," which catered to not only adult interests and themes, but some rather edgy ones at that. Tig was still "recovering" from having gone without sex, and then having it again, and being held, and all the other shit they'd lived through, and sex now was both frequent and complicated…well, maybe not really complicated, not in a bad way, but it was certainly more…physical, cerebral and creative. And, he'd just had that look in his eye when he'd gotten home on Thursday, didn't want dinner, didn't want a beer, just wanted her on the back of his bike, and off they'd gone…only before they'd left, he'd taken a black reaper bandana and tied it over her eyes, asking at every stop sign or red light, "you still can't see, can you?" He'd wanted her to be surprised, he'd said so several times, once adding, "I know I'm gettin' some tonight, baby!"
Well, yeah, he was, there was no question about that…Joss was getting as good as she gave, and she spent a majority of her day dreaming about when Tig would come home, and take off his shirt…unbuckle his belt as he bent her over the back of the couch, rub his big dick against the outer lips of her pussy and then fucking lose it when he realized that they were slick and smooth, void of all the dark, coarse hairs Joss had shaved off, wanting to surprise him. Luckily, this was one surprise that travelled anywhere Joss went…and Tig was going to love it…he could barely keep his hands off of her legs when they were fresh from the bath shaven, his fingers and palms moving up and down over the smoothness nearly all night…she could just imagine where he'd want to touch her now, or kiss her.
They'd driven for almost an hour, towards the garage to start out, but passed it, straight ahead into town, out of town, heading north, but avoiding the highway and instead following some back road that Joss, with her vision deprived, wasn't able to follow along with and get her bearings on. But, where else could Tig be taking her? If not the naughty hotel, where whips and chains were likely be the order of the night…as cheesy as they were…then it had to be some far off, secluded, creepy place that got Tig hot and also screamed 'Tig'…like some old cemetery…where else could they be heading?
The bike slowed and turned off the main road, heading up some long, bumpy gravel drive, little stones popping and flying everywhere, hitting trees and bushes, and Joss could smell hay and…livestock. Where were they? Hmm…Tig and cows…shit…no! She'd play dead for him, but she wasn't fulfilling any other little twisted fantasies he had knocking around in his crazy head, but before she knew it, they'd stopped. Tig reaching back and patting her thigh, saying, "we're here." Oh no! This could be really really ugly…in a lot of ways. Joss had tried to think of some reason they should head back to the house, but Tig checked again that she couldn't see out of her blindfold and then helped her off of the bike, by pulling her off, and then was holding onto her as they walked up a slight hill, through grass first, then gravel, but it was a very fine grade of it. He seemed really excited, like he just couldn't wait…but for what? And with what? Oh God…please no.
"Okay," he grabbed her a bit suddenly. "Stop, just stand here," he told her, then for a moment he stepped away from her but he hadn't gone very far. Her blindfold was still on…thank God…Joss really didn't want to see what he was doing, or what was coming at her, but then all of sudden, Tig had taken her hand, and it seemed like he was communicating with someone…or something…that was present…and then Joss felt a piece of cotton braided rope being pressed into her hand, Tig curling her fingers around it tightly. Okay, if he was going to tie her up, that was fine, she could handle being tied up, he often did it with his belt…but why were they on a farm? Being tied up on a farm…with Tig around…yeah, that was its very own type of horror movie that no one wanted to see! She did love Tig, she loved him through and through…but this part of him…well, she loved that too, she of course had to in order to love the rest of him, but did she really have to be introduced to it on such a scale?
Tig was behind her now, untying her blindfold, but Joss was wishing it would stay on…she didn't want to see whatever was going to happen next. "Okay," Tig was smiling in her ear as he prepared to uncover her eyes. "You don't ever ask me for very much," he said half whispering like there was someone there he was trying to conceal his words from. "You're a good girl like that, and I didn't even have to teach that to you, that's just how you are with me, and I don't know how you knew to be that way, but you are, and I…" He had to stop, took a deep breath. "Jesus Christ, Joss…there's just so much about you that makes me…" Again Tig paused, sighed this time, like he was getting frustrated with his lack of ability to articulate whatever it was he was struggling with saying. "You make me want to…I mean, I wanted to get you something, something I knew you wanted and that you'd love being around," he finally said, but it was like he'd settled for those words, the ones he truly sought being just too elusive. The tension on the blindfold lessened, but Tig held it over her eyes still, like there was some drum-roll being played for her unmasking. "So I got you this!"
In an instant the black bandana was gone, Joss's eyes fluttering and trying to adjust to the sunlight, so confused by what Tig had been trying to say, it just didn't pair up with any kind of kinky, depraved, illegal in most states, kind of barnyard fun…thank God! Finally Joss's eyes attuned and she looked up, Tig standing behind her and shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he anxiously awaited a reaction from her. But she was speechless, absolutely too blown away to find words…the rope he'd tucked into her hand was a black lead shank, and it was attached to a black nylon halter, that was attached to a tall, lean, dapple gray Thoroughbred! Despite all the shit Joss had lived through, never once had she actually felt like her eyes were about to pop out of her head, but she did then, taking in every detail of the horse in about two seconds, his beautiful silver coat with the quarter sized white dapples over it, his dark legs and black mane and tail, about the same shade as her own hair, but no red, of course. His alert brown eyes stared at her, and Tig; he tossed his head and snorted, unsure about where he was and who he was with, but his ears flattened back against his head for a moment and he pawed at the ground, letting everyone know he wasn't afraid to kick some ass if need be.
Oh God! Joss had a death grip on that lead shank, but turned sharply to Tig, wanting so badly to believe what this looked like, but it was too good to be true, and if it wasn't she didn't want to let a feeling of this much happiness rise up, only to be trampled down. Tig had just laughed though, nodded his head, stepping back from her and giving her a little push forward, towards her horse as Lauren came into focus finally. Lauren! They were at her place, and it was only about fifteen minutes from the house, but Tig had made up a 'long way' to get here to further throw Joss off! Aww! He'd really put some effort into this! She'd have run back to him and kissed him if it wasn't for this horse…her horse, being a bit skittish of sudden movements. "Careful," Tig had warned her as Joss finally began to smile, and shake with how happy he'd made her, and how touched she was, taking slow steps up to the big gray steed. "He's like me, baby. Just go slow with him, don't judge him, tell him 'it's okay,' and he'll come around too."
A tear came to Joss's eye then, and she turned back to look at Tig a moment, but then walked slowly up to her horse, standing to his side as the animal eyed her, paying attention to everyone of her movements, and ready to strike back at any moment if she dared to push him into something he didn't want. "Easy," she said softly to him, pulling his head around so he could see her even better, and not chasing after him as he took a side step away from her. "It's okay," she said gently, and then smiled when she'd realized that was just what Tig had told her to say to him. "No one's going to hurt you," she promised, looking up at his noble face, his nostrils still flaring as he looked down at her, wanting to raise his head up higher, but Joss held him firmly by the lead shank without yanking on him. "It's okay," she said again, watching him finally square up all of his black legs beneath him, and finally she stepped towards him, laying her hand gingerly on his neck, his ears flicking towards her, and he snorted again, watching her like a hawk, but this time, he stood still as she patted him. Yeah, he was exactly like Tig! Joss laughed a bit, hadn't felt this much joy since…well, since Tig had given her the patch she wore now. She truly did have a good man…a great man…though no one outside of what they were was likely to believe that, or understand how. Fine, fuck them, only she and Tig needed to know that. She looked back at Tig again, still stroking the big Thoroughbred's neck as the gray lowered his head some more, relaxing and sniffing at the crushed gravel in the arena now. "I can't believe you did this!" She said to Tig, a tear in her eye that she tried to quickly get rid of.
Tig's smile wasn't that perceptive, but Joss could see it, and she also knew why it was so slight; it was a dam, if he smiled, far too much was liable to burst out of him, and that wasn't his style. No problem, she just smiled bigger for him. "I had help." Tig said, and gestured to Lauren who walked around to the other side of the horse with Joss.
Lauren smiled, but sort of shook her head. "You've got your work cut out for you!" She laughed as she glanced at the horse. "He's probably just coming down off the steroids they were pushing into him at the track, and he's just a Thoroughbred to begin with," she laughed again, patting the horse's shoulder herself. "But he's a hot wire! The first time I put him in a stall, he jumped out, and if you turn your back on him, he'll bite you in the ass!" She smiled, then rubbed her backside a bit and sighed. "Trust me!" She laughed, and so did Joss. "Tig and I worked it out, you can keep him here, and for right now, he'll have that paddock over there all to himself…he's not very…socially appropriate right now…already bit a big chunk out of Markus's mane." Lauren laughed again, and this time Joss heard Tig laughing too. "But I don't think he's a mean horse, I think he just needs some guidance in figuring out that it's okay here, and that you're going to love him."
Joss laughed, and stole another glance at Tig. "I think I can handle that." She laughed, and looked down at her horse, who was leisurely nibbling at bits of weeds that grew spottily through the crushed gravel. He was so handsome, his eyes so expressive, ears with a slight inward curve to them, like little devil's horns. "I just can't believe this!" She said again, looking from Lauren to Tig, feeling kind of stupid now with this big ol' goober smile on her face that she couldn't get rid of. "Thank you! You don't how much, and I don't know how to tell you how much!"
Tig nodded, sliding his sunglasses over his eyes again. "So whatja namin' him?"
Joss smiled, looked at her horse again, who raised his head and turned it towards her, looking at her as he chewed some little bits of grass that stuck out of his mouth like unruly spaghetti, but he was the most gorgeous horse she'd ever seen! Did Tig know what it was he'd given her? Did he understand how much of herself he'd just handed back to her? Did he know what kind of existence he'd just allowed her? Joss looked at Tig again and smiled a different smile, one only for him, staring directly into his eyes, even through the dark lenses that hid the misty emotions in them. Her smile broadened. "Sam."