A/N: *Comes out of hiding* Um….Hi…..I am sorry. I have been utterly fail lately at updating (obviously) but as most of you know; life has been seriously crazy for me. Divorce and all that awesome jazz….But anywho….just thought I'd let you all know that I have revamped the outline for this story and dropped about 8 chapters. I didn't drop any major points but let go of the stuff that didn't need to be included. I theoretically have 8 chapters left (including the epilogue). Just an FYI.

Thanks to my wonderful beta LittleLea05

Disclaimer: Plot mine, everything else, Stephenie Meyer

'Twas the Night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
the fire siren echoed blaring its sound.
The firefighters came running from far and from near,
and raced to the trucks quickly donning their gear.

And I in my bunkers, my boots and my hat,
jumped to the engine to see where the fire's at.
Down at the corner of Fifth and of Oak,
The dispatcher informed us of a house filled with smoke.

Smoke poured from the sides, from up and from down,
yet up on the roof there was none to be found.
So up to the rooftop we raised up a ladder,
and climbed to the top to see what was the matter.

I came to the chimney and what did I see,
but a fellow in red stuck past his knees.
Well we tugged and we pulled until he came out,
Then he winked with his eye and said with a shout.

"These darn newfangled chimneys they make them too small,
for a fellow as I, not skinny at all."
With a twitch of his nose he dashed to his sleigh,
and called to his reindeer, "AWAY now, AWAY."

Author Unknown

Fire and/or Medical scenes are present in this chapter. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter 14 – The Catalyst

Bella POV

I sighed loudly from my seat as I felt the rumble of the engine of the plane as it started to pick up speed on the tarmac. I was in Sacramento, California sitting on flight 245 to SeaTac airport in Seattle. I was ecstatic to be going home. What had started out as a two week engineering class, moved on into three weeks almost rolled over to a full month and now I was coming back just in time to work only three days before Christmas break. Talk about avoidance.

I still can't believe I chickened out so bad I took the cowardly way out. Edward told me he loved me, and I ran away. I ran away to California to avoid the thought of ruining his life. He couldn't love me; I couldn't give him that life I know he wants. To be a husband and a father, I can't do that. I love him too much to take away his chance at happiness. He is too young to realize that there is more out there in life, there are more fish in the sea.

After I rushed out of Edward's place right after Thanksgiving, I ran to Carlisle and Esme's house. I knew I could trust them with this, Esme always understood. She was the mother I didn't get to have. And Carlisle…well, he would do anything to see me happy. Him and Esme never got to have children of their own, and almost everyone at the station (minus a few) were like adopted children in their eyes.

Three weeks previous…

"Carlisle…" I yelled as I pounded on their front door. It was a little after midnight and I knew they would be asleep, but I couldn't go home, not yet, not right now knowing there was a good chance that Edward would be following me.

"I'm coming…I'm coming…" I heard Carlisle shout from the other side of the door. He sounded tired and irritated as his bare feet slapped against the hardwood flooring. "This better be good." I could hear him barely mumble. The door ripped open in front of me and I came face-to-face with a bare chested, looking mighty fine for a forty some odd year old man in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms, in front of me. "Bella? What are you doing here?" He pulled the door open wider and motioned for me to come in. The light from the hallway in front of me was faint but bright enough to make out the silhouette of Esme standing in the hall with her robe on. I quickly spun and faced Carlisle.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything or something or…never mind…maybe I should just go." I stepped toward the door and Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder stopping me.

"Bella, have you been crying?" His voice went from irritated to soft concerned father-type within seconds. I heard Esme's feet quickly pad down the hallway at the word 'crying' and her arms were around my shoulders in no time. Esme guided me towards the couch in the living room and I vaguely heard Carlisle walk off.

"Sweetie, you're always welcome to stay, you know that. Now, why don't we just have a seat and talk about why you are here crying at midnight, okay?" She handed me a few tissues as she patted my back getting me to calm down. I felt ridiculous. I was a nearly thirty year old, self-sufficient firefighter/engineer and I was bawling my eyes out because I couldn't handle the thought of being in love.

After a few minutes, Carlisle sat down across from the couch, fully dressed this time, looking at me with knowing eyes. I tried to start talking several times and choked up. It must have been a good fifteen minutes before I was finally able to get out a coherent sentence. "Um…Edward…we…um…guess you could say we…broke up."

I heard Esme's breath catch and Carlisle shift in is chair. "Would you like to talk about…why?" He asked cautiously. I knew he was trying to be supportive, but he was never the one for heart-to-heart's, that was usually Esme's doing. Carlisle was always the man who put the plan to action.

"I can't give him the life he wants…because of…well you know…so when he tells me he loves me, I can't stay with him. He can't love me. This wasn't supposed to be serious; he can't be serious about me. I won't be the person who takes away his happiness, his chance at life. I won't do it. Better to cut ties now then drag it to that point of no return." I was rambling and starting to hyperventilate as I spewed forth my answer at break neck speed. I was crying again when Esme's soft voice broke the silence.

"Bella, sweetie, it's already past the point of no return." I opened up my mouth to retort but she cut me off. "…for both of you. I've seen him around you; he acts like you are heaven on earth. And you Bella…you wouldn't be getting this upset if you didn't love him."

It felt like my heart was about to beat out of my chest, my tears had all but run dry and the dry sobs were still coming. "I do!" My voice had also started to reach an abnormally high tone. "I do love him, so much. That's why I have to let him go. It's for his own good. He needs to know he can go have that family that's he has always wanted. It's out there and not with me."

"But Bella…"

I interrupted Carlisle before he could say anymore, "Please help me Carlisle. There has got to be a class, or seminar or something I can go teach to get away from the station for a little while? Get away from Edward so he can get distracted and move on. He's young; he's bound to end up moving on before I get back, right?"

"I don't think so Bella…not this time…not this one…"

"No Carlisle, please. Just…please…can you look into it or something? The sooner you can get me out of here the better."

Carlisle mumbled something under his breath shook his head and scrubbed his hand over his face before he finally looked back up at me. "Okay, fine, but in the morning. I'll look in the morning once we've all had some sleep and time to think. Then, in the morning, if this is still what you want to do, then we will arrange something. But, for now…" He turned and looked at Esme. "Put her in the spare room? She doesn't need to be driving anywhere else like this."

I crashed pretty hard once I got settled into the nice plush bed in the spare room. I awoke the next morning to the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen and the smell of coffee wafting under my bedroom door. I stumbled out into the living room to find Carlisle sitting at the kitchen table, coffee cup in hand, with a pad of paper in front of him and his cell phone attached to his ear. He was rapidly talking to someone and the only things I heard were, fire, engine, class and two weeks. My spirits lifted knowing he was following through with what he said.

I walked over to the coffee pot and started to pour myself a glass. Esme was smiling, albeit a little forced for my concern, as she whipped up some scrambled eggs and bacon. "Good Morning Bella. Carlisle is on the phone with Chief Gabriel right now. He figured you wouldn't change your mind over night. I think they may be sending you to the California Regional Fire Academy." A big smile spread across my face as I thought of that place. I hadn't been there in a few years but I always love getting involved there and teaching classes, and sleeping with a few of the fresh new fire boys. I shook my head at that thought. I wouldn't be doing that this time. I may be running a way but I do love him regardless and just the thought of going back to my old ways was making me feel sick.

By ten o'clock we were well on our way to the SeaTac airport for my flight out to California. My phone had just rang and Edward's name had flashed across the screen. It took everything in me not to answer and talk to him. I just needed to let go. I needed time to distance myself from him. I had to keep repeating over to myself that I wasn't being selfish when I did this. It was for his own good. I hit ignore and let it go to voicemail. But I shouldn't have listened to it. A fresh wave of tears started flowing down my face as I did the next hardest thing to walking out on him – I replied. "I'm fine. I'm not at the hospital. Yes I need time. Don't call."

One week in at the California Regional Fire Academy

Life was hell. Let me rephrase, my night life was hell.

During the day at the fire academy was great. I met a lot of interesting people and students, all of which were so eager to learn. I had one student, Brady, who was the youngest present in this class and also the most eager to prove himself. He constantly was striving to show that his age wasn't going to hold him back, and by age, I mean he was only seventeen. He was enrolled as an ROP after school and weekends. So, while it would take him twice as long to complete the course, he would also graduate high school ready to go out and find a job instead of taking another year or two like most.

And then there was Bree. She was my only female student this time, but damn she was a fighter. She was much like me at that age and she was just starting to come into her own. Bree was an amazing friend to me over the first week. She saw through my bullshit façade and confronted my demons and why I was hiding. She was very intuitive and figured out my game within a few days. So the days at the academy were good.

The nights were another story. Around day four, I finally got a text message from Edward. And since that first text message I've gotten numerous phone calls and more text messages. I have yet to answer any one of them. I had even gotten three calls from the same 'unknown caller' that had shown up once before. I ignored it. It had got to the point that I had all but turned off my phone to keep myself from responding. But every night I laid awake thinking about Edward, me and our relationship. If I was making a mistake? If I was lying to myself? If Edward really did love me regardless? Maybe I should go home. Should I go home and forget? Would it really be that easy? Could he ever forgive me? The normal should of, would of, could of that we all go through.

By the end of my three week period at the academy, which had run over from two, I was on pins and needles. Part of me desperately wanted to go home, forgive and forget and rush into his hopefully open waiting arms. But the logical side of me, the side that said I was a genetic dead end and not good enough for him, found me signing up for a week long informative engineering course on advancements in engineering technology for myself.

That night, Rose called me again, but this time she left me a voicemail since I refused to pick up. I had gotten plenty of text messages from both her and Alice begging me to come home. They both knew what was going on, but they didn't say anything about him. They tried to keep it simple and light. It was as if they knew that this one was different than any other guy I had been with before. But this time, Rosalie got straight down to the nitty gritty.

"Isabella Swan. I know you know I call. And I know you get all of our texts messages, including Edwards. Stop avoiding this situation. Just because your mother and Jacob were horrible people doesn't mean we all are." She was on a rampage; you could hear the stress in her voice. "You need to come home and come home now. It is not the same here without you. And besides…" her voice quieted, "Edward has been a mess since you left. The boy loves you, god knows why since you are acting like a bitch. Yes, I said it. You are being a bitch, Bella. I don't want to hear any arguments about not being good enough for him. That's bullshit and we both know it. You are perfect for each other. Anybody can see it. Even your dad called Edward trying to find out where you were before he found out that you ran away to Cali. They talk daily now. What is your problem?"

There was a long pause before she continued. I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I continued to listen. "I understand you have some horrible issues from the past that you need to work on. Trust me; we all do in some form or another. But Edward…Edward wants to be the one to help you get passed all that. Come home. Come see for yourself if you don't realize it already. You love him. I know you do. You running away just proves it to me Bella. You only ever run away from those true feeling you'd rather not let anyone see. That's how I knew you didn't love Jake like you love Edward. You didn't run away then when shit hit the fan. But you did when things got serious with Edward. Because you were afraid that this was it. This was what you thought you would never get in your life, like you didn't deserve it. Bells – you so deserve this, don't let it pass you by."

There was another pause and I thought I heard the sound of a car starting in the back ground. "I know you probably didn't want to hear any of this, but someone needed to say it and I am the only one with enough balls to come right out and say it. Come home. Right Now. But…Listen…I have to go. I am meeting everyone over at Marty's. I'm sure Edward will be there. Last few weeks he hasn't drank or even really engaged with us. He just sits there. I'm not trying to guilt trip you Bella, but fucking hell…don't throw away a good man…trust me, they're hard to come by." The voicemail abruptly ended when she hung up the phone. I sat there in my little bedroom at the academy crying for the rest of the night. The next morning I cancelled my admittance in the engineering course I was going to take and I booked the first ticket home.

I landed safely at the airport and found my dad waiting for me at the gate. He was the only one I told that I was coming home. It was Saturday and I had two days to collect myself before work on Monday. I needed to be home, with space, to be able to clear my head properly enough. By Sunday night I had made a decision. I wasn't going to let my fear control me anymore. I knew I loved Edward and that was beyond scary to me. I was afraid that Edward would leave. It always felt like everyone I loved left or felt obligated to stay. I didn't want to do that to him because I was afraid that he was blinded right now as far as my condition went and later on he decide that this was in fact not what he wanted in life.

But as Rose so eloquently put, I needed to stop avoiding my emotions and face it, head on and not let such a great man slip through. Because she was right, Edward was a great man and he deserved better than me, regardless of what he says. The least I could do was give him all of me. If he decided he didn't want me in the future, then I would just have to cross that bridge when I got to it. But as for right now, I was in love and it was time that he knew how much he meant to me and how much that scared the hell out of me.

Edward POV

I walked into the station feeling like I had been for the last couple weeks. Empty. Bella still hadn't returned any of my texts and I was afraid that I had scared her off for good. I didn't like this ache in my chest and it was definitely amplified by the fact that Christmas was in only in a few short days. This time of year was always hard on me. I missed my mother so much and it didn't help any that it felt like Bella was never coming home.

Before I knew it I was sitting upstairs on one of the couches. The guys had all but decided to write me off. I didn't really talk to anyone if I didn't need to. I did my chores, cooked all the meals and went on every call like a robot. Jacob was the only one who ever said anything to me and it was always condescending. He rubbed in the fact that I 'was no better than him' or so he said. I had to seriously control myself from taking my anger out on him. It was one of the first emotions I could control after Bella left. I was so angry at Jacob, but I didn't lash out. I let him say what he wanted about why inter-station relationships never worked, say that I hurt Bella and that he figured it was only a matter of time before the call came in for Bella's transfer. I prayed he wasn't right.

Carlisle came out of his office moments later to talk the station as a whole like he did pretty much every Monday morning. He had just come into the room when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I quickly surveyed the room and counted each guy when I realized there was only one missing. Bella. My head whipped towards the hallway and sure enough she was standing there. She looked like she got a little sun in California, but not much. Her hair was down, her uniform crisp and pristine. My memories of her did nothing for seeing the real thing. I wanted to drop down at her feet and beg forgiveness for whatever she wanted to hear. I do anything to be back in her good graces. But I didn't. Not in front of the whole station. That was a conversation that would have to wait until later, when we were alone and could properly talk.

"Bella! So glad to see you're back. How was the class? Any good prospects?" Carlisle quickly asked. It was as if he was trying to distract everyone away from staring at Bella and I. We had been looking at each other since she stepped into the room and I was sure that all the guys there were looking back and forth between us; waiting for something, anything to happen.

"Um…" she cleared her throat. "Yeah, yeah there were some fine firefighters there. One named Bree who will definitely go somewhere in her career." Her voice sounded rough like she had been sick, or crying, for a while.

I had just opened my mouth to ask her how she was when the inevitable happened.

Bing- Bing- Bing. "Engine 17, Ladder 17, Battalion 11, Engine 12, Engine 4 and Ladder 4 please respond to a report of a commercial building fire on the corner of South Bayview and 6th avenue south. Structure is reportedly a safety product supply warehouse. HazMat crew in route." I heard Alice's voice ring out over the intercom. I groaned as we all started rushing about preparing to leave. I had a feeling today was going to be rather busy.

God damn had I been right. Today was one of those days where if something could go wrong, it did. The fire this morning at the supply warehouse was massive and could have been potentially bad with the amount of chemicals located inside. After that fire we got a call for a colossal car accident, then a report of a gas leak, another small fire followed by a minor car accident with no injuries. It was after seven before we finally made it back to the station. The whole town was a mess with the holidays and all emergency services really did have their work cut out for them.

We all quickly worked together to get the engine restocked with equipment, I filled the BA bottles as quick as possible while Bella made dinner for everyone. None of us ate at the table tonight. We all mostly ate quickly and went to bed. Bella had grabbed her plate of food and went downstairs. I could only imagine she was eating in her bedroom, avoiding again. I made myself a quick plate and walked down there too. This conversation needed to happen sooner or later.

I knocked on her door and waited. I could hear her shuffling around and then the latch of the door click. She looked right up into my eyes…and smiled? I wasn't expecting her to smile. "Come on in Edward, I'm sure we need to chat." I followed her in and set my meal aside on the top of her dresser by her plate and turned to look at her.

"Bella…I…" She stepped up to me faster than I expected and put her hand over my mouth.

"No…please…I need to say this before you say anything else…" I nodded and she dropped her hand. She took a step back and glanced around the room before she huffed and finally looked back at me with determination written across her face. "I'm sorry Edward. I've acted like a fool. A moron, a bitch, a child. When you said…what you said on Thanksgiving…I panicked. I was afraid. Afraid of you and me and what you said…and my condition. I thought I was making a good choice for you. I didn't want to take away the right you have to be a father in the future…and…and I thought that if I left and gave you time to get over me you could move on and have a family. I can't give you that and it scared me that I felt so strongly about your happiness, your life."

I interrupted her now. I couldn't listen to anymore self depreciation. "Bella…what about what I want? You didn't even ask me if that was what I wanted…"

She shook her head. "I know. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions without getting the whole story first. I shouldn't have made that decision for you."

"You're right. It was my decision if I decided I wanted to stay and love you regardless of that condition. That condition isn't what you are Bella. You are your own person who just happens to have an issue to overcome."

"So…" Bella began. She looked down at the floor and I could barely hear her voice. "What do you want?"

I stepped up, put my hand under her chin and brought her face up. "What do I want?" she nodded. "You. Always you…" I saw a tear form in the corner of her eye. "What do you want Bella?"

"I want…" Her voice was drowned out by the sound of the bell going off again.

Bing- Bing- Bing. "Engine 17, Ladder 17, Battalion 11, Engine 12, Engine 4 and Ladder 4, Engine 1, Medic 12, 14 and 17 please respond to a report of a structure fire on West Prospect Street, nearest cross street is 5th avenue. Structure is reportedly the multilevel brick building."

I had never been more pissed at hearing Alice's voice in my time here. It was the most inconvenient time to give us a call. "Come on Bella. We need to get out there." I grabbed her and made to walk out the door but a hard tug on my hand stopped me. I turned back to look at Bella to see why she stopped me. "What?"

She didn't say anything she just stepped up and brought her hands to the sides of my face. She pulled me down to her level and pressed her lips to mine. I hesitated for a split second before I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her body to mine. Her lips slipped between mine and I couldn't stop myself from nibbling on her bottom lip. I felt her tongue graze into my mouth and I groaned. I had missed this so much. There was pound on her bedroom door and we quickly broke apart. "Come on guys. Stop fucking around and let's go." I heard Emmet's muffled voice.

"Sorry…" Bella said as she grabbed my hand again. "I just couldn't let our conversation be ended by the bell. I couldn't let you walk out of here without that." I smiled down at her as I tugged us out of the room. She told me all she need to in that kiss. She wasn't scared off and she was still my girl.

Fifteen minutes later we were pulling up in front of a beautiful house…that happened to have flames coming out of the windows on the right side. We quickly got to work pulling hose off the engine and donning our SCBA gear. We had just gotten up to the steps to the front door when I heard Carlisle radio over our instructions. "Jasper, Emmett you guys are going to help with the fire suppression on the west side of the house. Fire started in the living room. Chief thinks it was caused by the Christmas tree." My heart thudded into my chest and then dropped to my stomach. No. No. "The house had originally twelve occupants at the start of the fire. It was a family Christmas gathering. Six of the people got out since they were asleep on the first floor; mainly teenagers and two preteens. From what I understand, the owner, his wife and kid are still inside. Plus two senior citizens and another adult. Jacob, Edward that's where you guys come in. You're on search and rescue with Engine 4 and 1. Go now."

My heart started beating once again as the directives became clear. I had to buck up and go save some lives. When we stepped inside the house, it felt like I was stepping inside mine from sixteen years ago. There was a staircase directly in front of us leading to the second floor but all I really saw was my house. I looked to my left and it was almost as if I could see my mother standing in the dining room. I looked up the stairs and could briefly make out the silhouette of somebody on the top step.

"Come on Edward, let's get up there." I heard Jacob huff through the radio. I was snapped out of my memories and forced up the stairs with a push from him. I stumbled up the stairs, hose line in hand, just to find a slumped body against the wall amongst the smoke. It was a little girl, probably around seven years old. I ripped off my glove and put my hand against her neck feeling for a pulse. It was there, just barely. I scooped her up and darted around Jacob and back down the stairs. The first medic I found outside the door happened to be Rose. "Here take her, she barely has a pulse." I shouted at her as I turned around to head back inside. Jacob was standing at the door waiting for me. Always, two in and two out so neither of us would get lost.

We pushed our way back up the stairs and turned to the right. I saw a couple men from engine 4 over on the left side of the hall searching those rooms. In the first bedroom Jacob and I encountered an adult, passed out right on the inside of the door. We searched the rest of the room but found no other. When we reached the stairs with the unconscious man we encountered the other two from engine 1. We quickly passed off the man to them so we could get back to the last unchecked room.

But we were too late. In the last bedroom we found the owner and his wife, lying in bed. The smoke must have gotten to them in their sleep. Their room was directly over the living room so they got the first dose of toxic smoke. They didn't stand a chance. With a heavy heart, Jacob and I both gently picked up the deceased parents and carried them down the stairs. On our way out I noticed the fire had grown instead of being suppressed. It had moved into another spare bedroom and out the back of the house and around to the side of the kitchen furthest from the front door. But I could barely see at all. I had tears swimming in my eyes. Flashbacks of firefighters walking outside caring the limp form of my mother swam before me. I could hear the little girl from earlier; I could hear her crying though I couldn't even see her. Two medics met us at the front door to take the bodies. A clean white sheet was draped over them in order to protect the prying eyes of the gathered public.

I dropped down to the cement steps leading to the house. I ripped my BA mask off and my helmet. I need to breath, I needed to calm down. I heard a commotion next to me and looked over to see Bella running up to me. "Edward…come on." She tugged on my hand and pulled me from the stoop. I followed her as she tugged me passed everyone. No one was paying attention to me; they were all looking over at the house. I glanced up to and my heart finally gave out. The sobs started coming and I started bawling like a little kid. Like the little kid I was from sixteen years ago. I saw that we lost the fight, the house was fully engulfed. I could only hope that all of our men had made it out safely. My heart broke for that little girl. She lost her parents and her home. I related to that too much and I could understand the hard difficult life she would have from now on.

"Come on Edward, get into the truck." I felt Bella's hands push at my back and urge me up into the back of the engine cab. I didn't argue. I just climbed in. I found myself being pulled into her arms, my head resting on her chest as I cried. "Sshhhh…it'll be okay Edward….I'm so sorry…had I known…" Her hand was rubbing up and down my back as she continued to whisper to me. "I had to tell Carlisle. As soon as I heard him give you the orders I knew this was going to be too close to home. I tried to get him to stop but he didn't realize. It wasn't until after I told him the truth, what happened that he knew something was up. He is running the pump on the engine right now; Jacob is teamed up with Jazz and Em so we can have this moment. I'm so sorry Edward."

I straightened up and looked her in the eyes. "It's not your fault Bella. I should have realized that eventually I would run into my demons. I just didn't realize that even after sixteen years it would still be this difficult." I sat back and relaxed my head against the seat. I felt sick sitting in the cab, hiding like a baby, while the rest of my brothers were out there fighting a fight I should have been a part of. I just couldn't do it.

Bella sat in there with me for the rest of the fire and even clean up. I was surprised Carlisle was being so damn understanding about this all. So I asked Bella why he was.

"Because he lost loved ones before in a fire so he understands. He knows the first time you face that will be you're hardest. He didn't tell the guys your story but they do understand the heartache and agreed to not pester you about it." I nodded my head and leaned back. Thoughts of my mother, my father and that fateful night clouded my head and kept me from thinking straight. I guess I must have dozed off because next thing I knew I could hear the beep-beep-beep of the engine backing up into the engine bay. I sat up startled and looked around. Bella was still sitting next to me, holding my hand. Carlisle was driving and all the rest of the guys looked near to passing out in their seats, if not already.

We quickly put away our gear and I followed Bella towards her bedroom, openly in front of everyone. Nobody argued. It's not like our relationship was entirely secret and after tonight, I don't think any of them much cared anymore. Carlisle gave me a nod of understanding as he passed us by on his way up the stairs. Tonight was a hard emotional night not just on me but everyone else too. None of us like to fail, and even though we saved four lives tonight, we lost two and a home also.

As soon as the door was closed Bella started pulling me out of my turnouts, shirt and pants. Clad in only my boxers and feeling much again like a robot, I allowed her to push me towards her tiny bed. She quietly pulled off her clothing too, put sweatpants on and climbed in next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. For the first time in weeks I felt that empty hole start to close up. Given tonight's events, I was eternally grateful that I had Bella here with me now.

"Bella…" I whispered.

"Hhmm?" She murmured.

"I don't want you to ever leave again."

She placed a chaste kiss on my chest. "I don't ever plan on it again."

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head and hugged her closer to me. "I love you Bella."

Bella sat up slightly and I thought for sure she was going to bolt again. My heart started beat in my chest rapidly, making me fully conscious. She leaned down and pressed her lips to mine quickly. "I love you too Edward." My heart swelled as she lay back down next to me. Today really had been the most emotional mind fuck of a day…I wouldn't have had it any other way.

A/N: Wow….so…um….this chapter was incredibly hard to write. I hope I didn't upset anyone with the context of this chapter. But….we've finally got our ILY's :)