Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from "Sons of Anarchy." They are the property of Kurt Sutter and Fox Network. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story.

Chapter 54

"Joss," Tig couldn't help laughing when he looked up from the Ten Patches that she'd been separating into the envelopes for him, and passing over to him so he could write names on them with a marker. This really should have been all done and over with at 'church,' but Clay had decided that it made more sense, and was more fitting, to let Joss make the awards of the Ten Patches after 'church,' it was after all, her patch. It was a club honor for both Joss, and Tig, who took Clay's chair and had put Joss in his place at the table, where he'd dumped all the new patches in front of her and began explaining everything about them to her. And now…"C'mon, baby," he laughed again as she sat there sniffling, tears still running down her cheeks as she struggled to seal the envelopes she'd just dropped three patches into, getting ready to hand it to him so that he could check it against the names on the ledger and mark who would be receiving them onto the front. "Stop crying," he told her, and rubbed her shoulder soothingly, but it really was kinda cute that she was still crying, just so touched by not only what he'd done for her concerning the Ten Patch, but what the club had done for her as well.

"I know," she answered, and fanned her face with her hand. "Everyone's going to come in here, one by one, so I can give them what they've earned over the years…and I can't do it like this," Joss answered, laughing a little herself as she desperately tried to make herself stop. "I can't help it," she said and looked up at Tig with a small smile. "I just never thought that with all the shit in my life that I've had to live through, that I'd ever be here, with this club, with this patch…and with you."

Man, how long was it going to take her to get over this? But, she was right…it was hard to imagine she'd gone from abused kid to bought, sold and traded among more clubs than Tig wanted to remember, to sitting here, at SAMCRO's redwood table, preparing to bestow patches, that were in her own honor, out to the most deserving members of the most badass MC in the world. No wonder she was crying…but yeah, she did have to knock it off. "Hey," Tig said, and pushed away from the table and wheeled his chair over closer to her, reaching out and brushing her hair behind her ear, then kissed her forehead. "Look at me," he instructed, and Joss did, Tig taking both her hands. "Get it together, baby, it's okay." He smiled at her, and how proud he was of all of this, mostly her, struck him; she was so beautiful and in her own way, every bit as fiercely protective as Tig was himself. Joss, even in her spider monkey rage, had seen her way clear to killing Stahl, who was a much bigger threat to all that encompassed what Joss felt for Tig and what he felt for her than Opie even knew how to be. She'd made the right call, and she'd kept her old man safe, held him back from death…him, and his entire club. She was so perfect! Hell yeah she deserved a patch in her honor!

She was looking at him now, just like he'd asked, just like she always did when he asked. "I love you, Tig." She murmured, but it only made her eyes tear up again.

Her words sank right into him, right into his heart, and made him shudder as they penetrated, reawakening the need to be close to her, to be kissing her, to be as much inside of that gorgeous body as he could get, and every ounce of strength Tig had within him was now straining to slip it's leash and pull tight around Joss again, holding back nothing and giving her all he that he had. No! Wrong time, wrong place! "Jesus fucking Christ, little girl…you're killing me…" he ground out and doubled over in the chair a minute, wrestling this latest burst of…whatever it was, into submission, gritting his teeth against it, every muscle taut…he had to look away from her, concentrating on the carpet in the chapel…but this 'hold' was dissipating…at least, until he really could be alone with her it was…good thing tomorrow was Saturday…there was no way he was getting out of bed with Joss for awhile! "Look," he sat up a little now, took another deep breath just to make sure he was clear of 'it' again. "You remember at the end of that movie, 'Star Wars' how the bitch with the doughnuts on her ears was handing out medals to everyone?" Tig asked, and it must have been just strange enough that Joss nodded and laughed at the same time. Huh, this must have been another one of those times when he was funny and just didn't understand why…shit…and why was it working against the control he was struggling to keep? What the flaming hell? Joss laughing at him also made him want to…be all…over her?

"Yeah," Joss answered, and laughed again, looking at him like she was thinking about touching him…no girl…don't do it…not right now…please! She smiled at him a bit, like she was really thinking about touching him now, but she didn't.

Tig took another deep breath, good! That could have been a mess…woulda felt incredible, but it really wouldn't have been a good idea here and now. "Well," what the fuck was he saying? Oh, yeah! "Star Wars!" "The bitch at the end of that movie wasn't crying when she was giving everyone their shit, so think of that, and get your game face on." He suggested, and looked back down at the ledger to see who was next, and hope they had enough Ten Patches made up. This really was kinda like "Star Wars," Joss was the princess, and Tig was…okay, Tig didn't know who he was really, but Opie, that son of a bitch, particularly when he took the black skull cap off, looked like…Chewbadooba…or whatever that big orangutan thing's name was! Hey, wait…wasn't the same guy who was doing the princess in that movie also best buds with the big orangutan? Fuck! Harrison Ford! Man…Tig didn't want to be him…if he had to have an orangutan watching his six he'd rather be Clint Eastwood in "Every Which Way But Loose." Yeah, he could see him and Opie getting along like that…What?

"Hey," the chapel door opened and Clay entered with a smile, cutting off Tig's thoughts before he could figure them out. "We about ready in here?" Clay asked looking over the small pile of envelopes containing Ten Patches in front of Tig.

"Yeah, there's only me left on the ledger, and I can wait to get mine," Tig answered and started to stand up and let Clay have his seat back at the head of the table, but Clay's hand came down firmly on Tig's good shoulder, keeping him in the chair.

"Stay where you are," he told him with an odd smile as he took a seat beside Joss. "You look good there!"

Chapter 54; Part 2

"…and so you don't worry about a thing, darling," said Bobby, sitting where Jax usually did, holding the envelope full of seven Ten Patches that Joss had presented him. Tig had been a little surprised that it was Bobby who had the most to say to Joss, all of it respectful of course, but he'd never quite seen the dynamic between the old Jew and his Joss. She was a daughter to Clay and to Gemma, that was obvious, but there was something sorta parental in the way Bobby saw her too, talked to her like he was giving her advice, well, he actually was, telling her to pay attention and think about what everyone had come into the chapel and said to her, and how many words they needed in order to express it; told her that if anything sounded rehearsed, it likely was, and that meant it wasn't genuine, and she shouldn't trust anyone who wasn't. It was spot on advice being as how when Jax had come in to collect his measly three Ten's, which spoke volumes about how much time Jax was lacking under a reaper cut, the pretty prince sat across from Joss and said, "You stepped up for us all, and we appreciate that, thanks for giving us a future." Then he'd paused, looked like he was done speaking almost, but then added, "I'm just sorry to see what it all made you into, that night."

Joss had narrowed her eyes, just a little, probably not perceptible to anyone in the chapel other than Tig, who was too busy glaring in Jax's direction with a cold, hard stare, that Clay noticed from where he sat beside Joss, and shook his head at Tig with an orderly gaze, and Tig stood down. There was a bridge between Jax and Bobby, and Tig knew they met frequently in the middle of it, and Jax must have been confiding some stuff in Bobby about Stahl's death that Bobby now conveyed to Joss, telling her to be careful. Tig looked towards Bobby after he'd finished speaking, it was such a different perspective sitting here at the head of the table, if the entire club were present, he'd have been able to see the looks on everyone's faces and in everyone's eyes any time he looked up. Loyalty was plainly read from right here. But he looked at Bobby now, "Thanks, man." He nodded at him.

"Not necessary," Bobby replied, putting his hands on the arms of Jax's chair and beginning to stand. "Okay, better get out of this chair; it puts asinine thoughts in a man's head." He laughed; Tig and Clay laughing with him then he stood and walked over to Joss. "And thank you again, honey." He took Joss's hand and pulled her to her feet. "You're a very brave girl, got the heart of a Maccabee!" Bobby smiled at her then gave her a big bear hug, which Joss reciprocated as best she could with her size verses that of Bobby's, making Tig laugh again.

"Oh, thank you, Bobby!" Joss groaned within the embrace as Bobby patted her on the back. "You really are like my Jewish uncle!" She laughed, and yeah, Tig could see that, that was cool; Joss had some very good people that were obviously loyal to her. "I'll meet you at Goldman's deli for a knish and latkes!" She laughed again as Bobby let go of her.

"That's some good eatin', you little mensch, you!" Bobby smiled, and that was about enough for Tig…he didn't know what they were saying anymore, but then Bobby straightened and looked discerningly at Tig, then Clay, his arm still around Joss's shoulders. "Hey, why aren't we showcasing this one at the Custom Bike Awards in Lodi next weekend?" Bobby asked, and to Tig's dismay, he was pointing at Joss.

Shit, now there was a look in Clay's eyes, and before he even spoke, Tig's head was already pounding. "Not a bad idea!" Nodded Clay, who looked at Tig first, then Joss, his smile broadening and the gears in his head turning; yup, this was going to happen, whether Tig liked it or not…and he didn't…but why didn't Clay just hurry up and decree it already…just get it over with. "Not a bad idea at all!"

"Clay, man…" Tig hemmed and hauled, really not on board with this. "You know what the CBA's are like, just a bunch of civilians hanging around with their chopped, Frankenstein creations that they're all hoping to impress the AMA with…we don't give a shit about that." Damn it! If Tig had his way, SAMCRO wouldn't bother with this kind of shit…he hated the American Motorcycle Association, it just promoted the growth of more and more little civilian riding clubs to spring up, all sporting three piece colors, that they never once had the decency to ask for permission to wear from the dominant outlaw clubs in their areas. Motherfuckers! No one got to wear a top and bottom rocker with a main mark in the middle unless they were also approved to, and had the balls to, add the "MC" patch and the "1%" diamond as well! "Besides, didn't that shit go 'no colors, no guns' last year?"

"Yeah," admitted Clay, but then smiled again, "and no one came!" He laughed and he gave Joss another look too, like he was thinking of some kind of…marketing ploy…well, she was…lips, tits and hips…yeah, Tig's little girl was a definite cock tease. "So they've dropped that this year." Clay finished, and looked at Tig like he expected him to do…something.

Joss stood in the center of both Bobby and Clay, looking over to Tig, clearly not sure what she was supposed to be doing here…Tig was against whatever this was, but Bobby, and Clay, were for it. Tig couldn't leave her dangling like that, it wasn't fair…and he'd really like to just get her out of it all together, but that was going to be tough at this point. "It's nothing bad, baby." He said to her, trying to choose his words carefully, not wanting to sound like he was pro-CBA's, but also not wanting to make Joss worry unnecessarily. "Clay's thinking that you sitting at our booth is going to bring in a lot of interest, and make us a lot of friends."

"Oh!" Joss smiled and looked down at Clay. "I get to be PR?" Fuck! Now she looked like she was for it!

"It would be some awesome PR! Look at her, she's a photo op! And she's good with people, former beauty queen and all. She'll have the law abiding public wrapped around her lovely finger!" Clay smiled up at Joss from where he sat. "And she's not some bubble-head who couldn't handle a few questions, either! This could work well for us!" His eyes were on Tig now, who still sat at the head of the table, beginning to feel like the question was being put to him, and that the decision was his to make, despite how obviously Clay wanted it to happen. "I know, I know," Clay looked at him with a strange sympathy, "owning a beautiful girl is sometimes a curse, but I say, use what you got. She won't be in danger, not with the civilians, or the other clubs with us all around her, and it's not illegal, so even the local authorities aren't an issue," he explained, like he was arguing this case, to Tig, who sat there by the gavel. "Could be good recruitment too, Lodi's not that far away, it would work."

"You remember what she did for business at the garage in just the five days she was working?" Reminded Bobby, but he wasn't sure where to look now, at Tig or at Clay, so he looked confusedly at both of them.

Clay's eyes remained steadily on Tig, at the head of the table, awaiting a verdict from where he sat to the left of him. "I know you hate these civilian type functions, Tig," he said, nodding his head in agreement. "But the club stands to gain a lot, and we got nothing to lose, particularly if we put Joss out there. You know that, but she's yours, and I know you love this club, so you make the call."

Tig flopped back in the chair at the head of the table and sighed, rolling his eyes. Fuck! He knew what he had to do. No, he didn't want to have to go fucking Lodi for the Custom Bike Awards, and make nice with the American Motorcycle Association…but SAMCRO would have quite a presence there…and Joss would be an awfully big draw too…she would leave a good impression of the club in the minds, and eyes, of anyone who talked to her, and maybe she'd spark enough interest in a few civilians who didn't have shit for brains, and instead of them joining up with some shithole, half assed, three piece civilian riding club, they'd become SAMCRO hangarounds, and then prospects, and then brothers who really could make this club stronger. Shit! God damn it! Was he really about to say what he was going to say? "Okay," Tig sighed, looking up at Bobby and Clay. "Joss goes to the CBA's." Jesus fucking Christ…now, so was he! "But," Tig suddenly interjected, halting the small celebrations of Bobby and Clay, and even Joss. "She has a guard with her at all times, and if it ain't someone I approve of, it'll be me, and you both know how I am with civilians!" Tig hinted, almost smirking and feeling good that he'd at least been able to find some high ground to hold in this. "So, keep that in mind!"

Clay looked over at Tig, sitting there, at the head of the table, and again he had that odd smile. "No problem," he nodded, and sounded like he was really proud of Tig, but not for siding with him as much as for how Tig had sided with the club. His eyes held's Tig's a bit longer, something…fatherly…about that look, and Tig felt his brow begin to wrinkle as he looked back at Clay…what the hell was this? But in no time it was passed, Clay sighing and moving on, "So, back to the Ten Patches, who's next?"

Tig shook off the decision he'd made and the stare Clay had given him, and looked back down at the ledger, and he cringed. God damn but he was getting tired of fighting this war…and maybe he was overreacting, given the past that he was still trying to get through, and the future he was still trying to predict, but Opie was still acting kinda…strange, like he was trying to be all friendly now, but just didn't quite get that Tig wasn't into that with him…not yet anyway…and Tig wasn't even sure how many things they had in common, but he was more than suspicious about one of them, and it left Tig uncomfortable with the idea of Opie being near Joss. "Ope."

Clay bit down on his cigar. "Hmm," he mused then looked up at Bobby. "Uncle Bobby, wanna stick around?"

"Sure," Agreed Bobby, "But Ope's not out there, man. Not sure where he got to. Maybe he left early? He does that."

Clay nodded then blew out some smoke like disaster had been avoided. "That he does," he said, and glanced down at Tig like telling him to put a gun back in his holster. "I guess that's it then," Clay smirked a little and looked at Joss. "Unless you wanna apologize to your man down there for why we don't have all the Ten's he's due." He laughed.

Joss smiled and looked at Tig. "How many do you have?" She asked, her eyes falling on the ledger, but Tig flipped it over, wanting to tell her rather than have her read it.

"Eleven," he said, but not boastfully, not pretentiously, he knew Joss's pride in him, and in being his, would be more than enough to carry him. And she was smiling now, beaming, the glow of a woman on the arm of a powerful man overtaking her. And Tig was proud, but more so of Joss; because of his old lady, he now had a way to legitimately display what he'd done for the club, and his brothers. "Comes with the stripes," he explained, and underlined the "Sergeant At Arms" tab on his cut with his finger. Hmm…sitting at the head of the table was pretty cool…and Tig had just proven that he could make decisions for the good of the club, despite his personal feelings about an issue…this was an office he knew he could hold, over here, in the chair at the head of the table, depending of course on who was on his right and his left…but no matter where he sat at this table, Tig knew he'd always have "stripes."

"Okay then," Clay got to his feet, but as he did, he looked down at Tig, who still sat at the head of the table, and there was that odd smile again, and he gave Tig a nod this time as well, then turned to everyone else in the room. "Until such time as Ope shows up, we're done." He announced then extended his hand to Bobby. "Congrats," he said, then did and said the same to Tig, finally turning to Joss and putting both his hands on her shoulders, sighing. "And thank you!" He told her. "Now you give me a hug," he smiled, and put his arms around Joss, who smiled and embraced Clay as well, laying her head against his chest, and Tig saw Clay's hand stroke over her soft, ebony hair and he rocked her in his arms again, just like he'd done exactly one week ago, only Joss had been more than out of sorts then. "You go to bed every night knowing we all love you for what you did for us," Clay told her. "Because we do! So keep doing what you're doing, kid. We'll always be behind you." Clay finished then kissed Joss's cheek.

"Saying 'thank you' sounds so chinchy after that," Joss smiled up at him, Tig recognizing the emotion in her eyes and hoping she wouldn't start crying again. "But, thank you." She laughed a bit, but then hugged Clay again and sighed. "I really love you and Gemma, Clay!"

Chapter 54; Part 3

Tig's fingers were inside of her corseted black top now, somehow having maneuvered their way in as they kissed…and kissed…and kissed, again. Oh God, did it feel ever so good to have his mouth over hers, to be tasting his tongue against her own, and feel his pinching fingers pulling at her nipple…but they were still in the chapel! The blinds were closed, the door was locked to anyone on the outside, but the only reason that Joss had remained in here with Tig was because she'd wanted to ask him about Opie. It was easy to see that Tig was still unsettled about something with him, and he'd yet to give her any instruction on whether or not she could speak to Opie or not, however, it was clear that Tig had intended for her to be presenting Opie with his Ten Patches, just like she had everyone else...so, how did that figure in? Opie may have still been around, and he'd surely be around at the bike awards next weekend; what was she supposed to do? What side of this did Tig want her on, and was there even a "side" to begin with? But just as she'd been ready to ask about Ope…wow…whatever this was, the second she and Tig were alone with each other, it just took over and rubbed them together like it was trying to make fire…and it was. But they needed to stop, this wasn't anymore correct than it was before…they were in the chapel…and Tig was sitting in Clay's chair, no less…actually, they both kind of were, because Tig's other hand moved between Joss's legs, making her gasp excitedly in their kiss, and she'd noticed that she was straddling him; she'd either crawled over, or he'd pulled her over to him…and now here they were, losing control again.

Tig's fingers really wanted into her, but the crotch of her jeans stopped them, apparently disappointing him so much that he suddenly opened his eyes and looked up at what he was doing. "Damn it…" he sighed, taking in the chapel again then looking back at Joss and replacing both his hands in more appropriate places. "I can't trust what I'm gonna do to you anymore, Joss. Or where," he sighed, as he leaned in even now to kiss her again, his lips pressing to hers like they meant to pull away at any second, but they didn't, the kiss just getting deeper and deeper, both of them gasping into the other's mouth, arms going around one another, some force continuing to pull them together, and so difficult to satiate once they were…God she loved him…and Joss now felt a new, unexpected stirring within her that she at first couldn't even believe was there.

No, this couldn't be happening…from just kissing Tig…could it? It was likely more than just the kissing, more than being up against his strong body like this…it was everything from Tig giving her Sam to Tig letting her finally put her arms around him and knowing that she knew he loved her and being okay with it; also, Joss was just so fucking proud of him for passing Clay's little test earlier too! The foundation was as much emotional as it was physical. But still, it was kissing him that had started it…and it had never felt so good to kiss him as it did tonight…but really, this was happening because of a few kisses?

Joss had to break the osculation a moment to be sure, but Tig didn't let her get away from him, crushing her body and mouth back to his, Joss's lips parted again and welcomed the intrusion of his tongue once more, and at the very first touch of it to hers, she knew what she felt was more than real, and also couldn't be denied. Oh God she wanted him…wanted his hands on her body, wanted his mouth on hers, on her neck, on her chest, wanted his hands traveling her body. She shook in his arms now, moving against him more than the chair and her clothes would really let her, which only made her shake more with her desire, frustration and need, tension building and building in her groin, her clitoris hard and tight within the silk casing of her panties and thickness of the denim, but she moved against Tig's body like nothing separated them, unable to always keep her mouth on his, she needed to breathe, and pant and try to let him know what it was he was doing to her…by only kissing her.

"You're making me—" but a sudden and involuntary inhalation of air cut off her words, but it didn't matter, Tig knew her too well, knew her body and its reactions to his accurately enough to know what she was experiencing, though he couldn't believe it himself.

"I know," he whispered on a quiet, rough, hot breath, and kissed her again, his hand returning to the crotch of her jeans, but he couldn't rub her, but he could at least give her something to rub against, and she did, without thinking…he was her everything, she'd never needed him more, never loved him more than she did in this moment. Tig's lips were on her neck again, biting kisses roughly over her white skin, the feeling of his mustache and beard tickling over each excited corpuscle winding everything inside of her tighter yet. Joss's hands gripped both of his strong shoulders and tried to wrap around him as much as she could, his strong, solid frame the only anchor against the torment inside her, she needed him, she loved him…everything within her speeding tightly out of control and heading for a crash, closer and closer and closer…she wanted him, wanted the only depth of him within her body she could have, and kissed his mouth, letting his tongue take over hers and stroke it forcefully until she heard herself trying to moan his name, and everything exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors behind her closed eyes, melting her against Tig's chest, his arms around her, in control of her, in so many ways.