I don't own Twilight…
Sorry this took me so long, I hate it when authors leave you hanging like I just did so I really am sorry guys : ( This chapter was hard and angsty. I also started a new and demanding job so it's been difficult. I hope it was worth the wait! And thanks everyone for hanging in there.
P.S. I did start a new story. I needed a break from the Angst lol so check it out. It's called Legacies and you can find it on my page.
Here we go!
Songs for this chapter:
Sleep by My Chemical Romance, Anything Anything (acoustic cover) by Something Corporate, Walking in LA by Missing Persons, Creator by Santogold, Swing by Savage Ft Soulja Boy, Swallowed by Bush, Malibu by Hole, Help I'm Alive by Metric
Ch15 Mommy Issues
(Sleep by My Chemical Romance)
10 years ago…
"Rene!"
"Rene!"
"Daddy what's wrong?" Charlie knelt down and kissed me on the forehead.
"Nothing sweetheart. Look at me Bella, I love you, and nothing is ever gonna change that."
I nodded and looked over his shoulder at my mother. She stepped through the door wearing heels and a trench coat. Her hair was soaking wet from the rain and her makeup was smeared ever so slightly.
"Sweetheart, can you do daddy a favor and go to your room while your mother and I talk about some grown up stuff?"
"Sure daddy" I turned and skipped up the stairs of our Kirkland home.
They began talking or screaming before I made it to my room. I was 10 then. Old enough to know that something was wrong.
"Why Rene? For the love of God why?" She stood in the doorway frozen with it still wide open. It was 4 o'clock. The sun above the clouds illuminated the street with a gloomy grey.
"Chip Vangunderson. I always knew. You said it was over when we got married you said-…Do you love him?"
"I-" finally she took a step towards him the big red door still wide open.
"Yes or no"
"Please Charlie it's not that simple."
"I did everything for you. I gave up human rights I –" He screamed walking in heated circles.
"Oh here we go with this same old shit! If you're so fucking miserable then why did you marry me?" her hands flailed about as her anger rose against her sorrow.
"You know why! I loved you Rene! Hell I at least tried. You didn't even try."
"How could I love someone I despise?"
My parents were an unlikely pair as my father attended the public Forks high school while mom and her rich friends, including Uncle Trent, Aunt Patricia, and the Vangunderson Brothers, went to Kirkland Prep. I guess Chip and my mother were best friends. I hadn't given it much though until now. If there was something going on with them that explains why I never played with James as a kid. I never really knew anything about their family other than the fact that they owned a bank…ok a lot of banks. They were friends that were madly in love, but Chip and my mother were too stupid to do anything about it until it was too late.
My Father was a dare. A pity fuck for the boy who scooped the ice cream. They invited him to a party as a joke. He and Rene drank a few too many. She was always so flighty and carless about taking the pill. Five months later they had a shot gun wedding and were set up in an apartment in Connecticut while Charlie attended Yale, paid for by grandpa McCarty. Eventually, I think he fell in love with Rene and thought it would be enough for the both of them but I guess he fell short.
We moved into Kirkland when I was 6. I remember our house was large with a gigantic red front door and blue shudders. It's not there anymore. When it was sold in the divorce the new owners "renovated" most of it. Charlie moved to his current house and my mother got me, or I got her.
"Oh really is that so. I gave up helping people to work for your father's legal team. I've done everything to give you the life you wanted and now…Do you love him?...Answer me!...Answer me!...please just answer the fucking question" He begged in a defeated tone.
"Yes, but it doesn't matter now…He's dead!" She fell to her knees and sobbed in the doorway.
"Oh Rene please. Who's dead?"
"Chip! His plane went down…he's dead" She couldn't breathe she was crying so hard. I wanted to run down and throw my arms around her but something told me to stay put.
"I want a divorce"
Chip Vangunderson. I had forgotten about him. That night was the first time I had ever heard his name. After all these years…I thought Rene loved Charlie, that the divorce made her drink but it wasn't Charlie at all it was Chip. She loved him. He died and she never got over it.
*
3months ago…
RIIINNNGGG RIIINNNGGG
"Hello?"
"Bella? It's Trent we found her."
"What-where is she?"
"She's in New York. She over dosed on Vodka and pills."
"What?!" I began shaking. For sure this time I've lost her. My voice was horse with panic and fresh tears.
I clung to my mother because she needed me more. I knew Charlie loved me and that no matter what he would be ok in the end. But Rene, Rene was slowly drowning in her sorrow. It's not hard to figure out. Any child of divorced or fucked up parental units will tell you that they feel the need to protect and cling to the weaker parent because in the back of your mind you know that you don't know how long they'll be around. The stable parent on the other hand you can treat like a punching bag because they're never gonna leave. Like Charlie, I needed him and he came through.
"They pumped her stomach. She'll be here for a few days under observation and for dehydration…she was lucky this time. She's going to rehab this time."
*
(Anything Anything (acoustic cover) by Something Corporate)
"Ok fine, I'll start" Rose crossed her arms and shifted towards me. We had only been on the plan for 30 minutes. 30 minutes of silence…2 more hours to go. I continued to stare out of the window.
"Bella, sweetie what's going on?" I quirked my eyebrow at her. I have never once heard the term "sweetie" come out of Rosalie Hale's mouth.
"I'm not gonna break guys. You don't have to tip toe"
"Good. So what the fuck?!"
"Better." I turned to face the two of them sitting on the couch across from me. "He's perfect." I exhaled a heavy sigh and sat back.
"Ok…"
"I just never thought I would find someone so perfect. I mean I am mother's daughter. What if I…what if it doesn't work out and we have a kid and I fuck it up and we end in this nasty divorce causing me to go on a drunken downwared spiral. Or worse what if he is the love of my life and we're happy and madly in love and I fall in deeper than I already am and then bang! Something happens and he's gone and I'm left a shell of nothingness like Rene."
"Bella, that won't happen. You're…you're so not your mom"
"You don't know that, you don't even know her"
"I know enough to know that you're stronger than her."
"Whatever, I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Let's leave it all in Washington for a little while."
"Sure sweetie" Alice finally spoke up. I imagine this was hardest on her considering he was her twin and all. "But, you owe it to both of you to at least talk about things with her. You know, so you can move on and be happy"
*
(Walking in LA by Missing Persons)
When we landed at the Burbank Airport there was a limo waiting for us.
"Hello sweet California sunshine!" Alice squeaked and ran down the stairs to the car. I put my Chanel shades on and crossed my arms unimpressed by my surroundings…ok so maybe I was just in pissy mood.
"Come on Mary Sunshine one foot in front of the other" Rose laughed as she grabbed my hand and dragged me down the plane stairs. I kept my glasses on in the car. I figured if Alice caught me rolling my eyes at her one more time she might throat punch me.
"Time check…4pm, this gives us" Alice began counting on her fingers "4 hours before our Mr. Chow dinner reservations, 2 hours to eat and mingle, and then we hit sunset for the night!"
"Midget, please tell me you did not plan out this entire trip?"
"Rosalie Hale! Didn't you get my emails about our itinerary?"
"Uh negative, I usually spam your spastic emails."
"Why do I even bother?"
"I ask myself that every time we travel together. Hey you, you have 1 more hour of this sad shit and then it's done for the rest of the night, got it? I refuse to let you kill my buzz all weekend" I made a disgusted face at her and recrossed my arms as I pretended to look out the window.
Because we flew into the Valley it took us almost an hour to get through traffic. Finally we arrived at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
"They had the 3 room suit available so I booked it. It cost extra but as soon as I said Cullen and McCarty they were more than happy to oblige as usual."
"Welcome to the Beverly Hills Hotel Miss Cullen, Miss McCarty, and Miss Hale. My name is Seth and I'll be your personal concierge for the duration of your stay. If there is anything you need, from clothing, to personal shopping, reservations etc. please don't hesitate to ask" The two of them were smiling like horney little school girls the second Seth opened his mouth. He was about 6'2" with a lean muscular build. Tan skin, white shiny teeth, jet black hair and bright blue eyes. I have to admit the boy was hot with a capital H. Probably some actor/model working his way though UCLA or some typical shit like that.
"Oops I'm so clumsy" Alice smiled as she dropped her sunglass case on the ground.
"Oh let me get for you Miss Cullen" Seth bent over and the 3 of us leaned over to look. I couldn't help but crack a smile at our display, and he did have a nice ass.
"Alice, Seth, you can call me Alice" she slithered seductively "and this is Rosalie and Isabella" Rose smiled and wiggled her fingers in a girly wave while I looked around annoyed.
Our room, or should I say apartment was huge! We each had our own mini suit rooms that surrounded the middle area. We had our own terrace and private entry way leading down to the pool and lobby area.
"Ok, showers first then I'll do Bella's hair and make-up while Rose picks out your outfit for tonight and-"
"Guys I really don't feel like going out"
"Isabella Marie Swan get your skinny cute ass into that fucking shower or so help me God I will kick it all the way back to Washington!"
I took off the Chanel's to look at her. I had never heard such words out of sweet little Alice's mouth. And she was dead serious! I actually feared for my life. She crossed her arms waiting for me to move.
"Ok, ok, shower clothes blah blah blah"
*
Three hours, a can of hair spray, too much eye shadow, my ass hanging out of my dress and a pair of lime green stilettos later we were taking shots in the limo on the way to Mr. Chow's.
"Ok, so here is to a fabulous girls weekend in LA, closure, and happy endings" Alice toasted. I rolled my eyes, which seems to be my response to everything this weekend and tossed the tequila down my throat. No lime, no chaser, just the smooth burn of Patron reminding me that I'm alive.
After the 3rd shot I decided to hell with it! There's nothing I can do about my life in this moment so I might as well pretended to have a good time.
Dinner was actually pleasant. The girls managed to keep the conversation going on the hot waiter and the new "it" DJ at some club we'll be making an appearance at. Off limit topics being, their relationships, forks, school, and anything else that will make me think about Edward and the huge mistake I made in telling him that I needed space.
I can't get his sad face out of my mind and the hurt look in eyes. I hope I'm not too late. I pray that we can get back on track when I get back. But first, first I need to talk to Rene. I need answers, I need to know details before I can give myself to Edward and our almost relationship.
(Creator by Santogold)
It was 11 by the time we got to "Les Deux". I felt bad waltzing right in past the little rope while hundreds of people stood in line.
"Aw what the fuck man, you just said you guys are full" some guy yelled after us.
"Fuck off loser" Rose drunkenly snipped at him. She's an even meaner drunk.
"I hope this Samantha girl is a good DJ, I really wanna dance tonight" Alice was already shaking her hips as we made our way through the crowd.
"So, what? Should we like get a table or something?" They both busted out with laughter and linked arms on either side of me.
"Silly Bella, we don't stay down here with the locals. We already have a table in VIP. You know bottle service etc.?"
"Right what was I thinking?" I said sarcastically and smiled.
Our booth was waiting with two bottles of Patron Silver, 3 shot glasses and a club liaison ready to wait on our every demand. On the way to the table we ran into none other than…
"Oh my goodness, Tanya? You're Tanya Denali right? Kirkland prep, and your father is a partner at Volturi."
"Yes, Alice Cullen? Edwards twin." They kissed hello on the cheek and continued to make small talk. She was beautiful. Long strawberry blond hair, huge boobs stuffed into a skin tight coral strapless tube top dress that sat perfectly against her tan skin and complimented her bright blue eyes. And, let's not forget the legs for days that flowed effortlessly into the gold strappy heels attached to her perfectly pedicured feet.
"So what brings you to Southern California? Last I heard you were interning at Volturi in the New York office." Gotta love Rosalie as she stood silent giving her best unimpressed with this bitch expression as Alice continued on and I tried my best to blend into the background.
"I'm actually taking over the advertising department pending my graduation from Harvard. I'm here on business but a few of the younger assistants and what not were going on and on about this place so I got some of them into the VIP. What brings you here?"
"Rose and I, you remember Rosalie Hale?"
"Um yes, hi Rosalie" Rose waved as she continued to look around bored.
"We're here with our friend Bella who is visiting family. We decided to crash. You know Rodeo and what not"
"Of course…So wait, you're Isabella? As in Edwards Bella? It's so nice to meet you! My gosh the way he went on about you I feel like I've know you for years" she stepped in to kiss my cheek and I let her, what else was I supposed to do.
"Nice to meet you too" I smiled pleasantly.
"Well I should get back to my party. I feel rude leaving them since I did get them in and all."
"Right, well we should do lunch the next time I'm in New York."
"Of course Alice. Ring me and we'll make plans." With that she was gone back into the crowd.
"So shots then?" Rose chimed in.
"Shots!" Alice threw her arms into the air as we finally made it all the way to our table. Quickly the hot promoter, liaison, whatever the hell he calls himself popped the bottle open and poured 4 shots.
(Swing by Savage Ft Soulja Boy)
"Ladies…to being beautiful in LA"
"Beautiful in LA!" Rose and Alice screamed at the same time. I had downed the shot before they even put the glass to their lips. This whole Tanya thing had me a bit rattled. I knew she was gorgeous but I wasn't expecting that. And, I know she plays for the home team but I still couldn't help being a bit jealous. She was his first. He claims she meant nothing and yet she influenced his entire sexual carrier. That's not just nothing.
"Hit me" I said in a serious tone as I slammed the glass back onto the table.
"No problem" I tossed it back and slammed it down again.
"Hit me"
"Okay" he said skeptically shaking his head. Rose and Alice were oblivious as they danced together to Swing.
"One more"
"Are you sure? I think you should-"
"You're not paid to think pretty boy. Fill the damn glass" I wanted to forget. Forget my mom, forget Edward and his sad eyes back home, and most of all forget Tanya and her fucking tits and legs 3 tables down. "Woo" I yelled tossing it back. "Let's do this!" I latched onto a guys shoulder, name not important, and lifted myself up onto the table to dace.
"Hell ya!" the guy yelled.
"Bella what are doing? Sweetie are you sure you wanna be up there?"
"Bella? Tonight I don't know a Bella, tonight I'm ISABELLA MCCARTEY" I yelled out and continued to drunkenly shake my ass from the table top.
"Wooo" everyone around cheered.
"Tanya!" I saw here heading for the stairs. This was my big chance to talk to her. About what I wasn't entirely sure, but I was drunk so this shit was going down…NOW. "Hey Tanya! Wait!"
"Bella…I'll meet you all down stairs" Her friends nodded and headed down without her. "Bella what can I do for you?"
"You're beautiful"
"Excuse me?"
"You're gorgeous and you were his first. I don't know how-" I could feel myself swaying back and forth as I spoke.
"Bella your drunk"
"Isabella, and Im- Im- Im gonna throw up"
"Come on let's get you to the ladies room. Put your hand over your mouth" I did as I was told. Tanya freakin Denali escorted me to the ladies room. I had no idea what I expected to accomplish by approaching her but the whole thing ended with my face in the toilet.
"Go ahead without me I'm helping a friend…" I heard her say on the phone with who I assumed to be the people she came with. My rational brain felt horrible for ruining her night, but my drunken mouth was unable to articulate such sentiments.
"It's ok Bella just let it out. I texted the girls they'll get it eventually. I'm gonna call Edward and let him know you're ok incase he was waiting for you to call or something" Did she say Edward? I think she said Edward…I think I'm gonna puke again.
"Hello Edward? I'm here at Les Deux in LA with your girlfriend Bella…oh…I see. Well believe me she's in pretty bad shape over you too. Well…she's sort of on the porcelain train right now and your sister and that other rude girl are off dancing somewhere. Do you know where they're- Calm down, Ed-Edward! You can't do anything from Washington, do you know where they're staying? The Beverly ok, I'm gonna page my driver and we'll get her out through the back. Just to warn you, I think TMZ got footage of her dancing on the table screaming her name. Yeah, no problem. From what you've told me about her I don't think she would be acting this way if she were ok…ok, I'll text you when I get her to her room. Bye"
"I sink I'm done" I managed to slur out.
"Ok sweetie. We're gonna sneak out the back and my driver is ganna take us to-"
"Bella! Oh my gosh Bella what happened" Alice and Rose stormed in. "Tanya thank you so much. We lost her and then we got your text and (sigh) is she ok?"
"Yeah, I think she threw up most of it but she's pretty out of it. TMZ and some other guys are here so we need to sneak her out the back otherwise there's gonna be a like mother like daughter tagline on every page tomorrow"
"How much did Edward tell you?"
"Enough to know that this is out of character for her."
"Don't act like you know us Tanya. You used to go to KP you know what it's like. So don't fucking judge us." I heard Rosalie yell.
"Rose, not now let's get Bella home" Alice cut her off before her claws really came out.
"I'm just trying to help Rosalie. Edward is a friend. He really helped me out in New York and I'm just returning the favor by helping out his girlfriend."
"Whatever. Alice is right…come on Bella let's stand up"
"Mem Bed"
"That's where we're heading" That was the last thing I remembered.
(Swallowed by Bush)
I woke up to the sunshine streaming though the curtains. I stretched and smacked my lips trying to remember why mouth tasted so disgusting and then I remembered the bathroom at the club…and Tanya!...and Edward!
"Fuck!" I groaned slapping my hands to my eyes and forehead. I picked up my phone to check the time. One text, Edward, 6am
E- U OK?
Fuck fuck fuck. I sighed heavily before texting back.
B- I'm OK I guess.
E- Finally, I was worried about u
B- Thanks, I'm ok I'll ttyl
I'm seeing Rene today. Hopefully I'll get things sorted out so that I can get Edward sorted out. I sat up to get out of bed…big mistake. This hang over was brutal. It took me 10 minutes just to make it over to the mini fridge for a water bottle. Thank God someone thought enough to set out one of those little travel Advil packs on the bathroom counter.
I hopped into the shower and let the cool water wash over my head to sober me up. Family visitation is from 12-2 and I needed the full two hours.
When I opened the door to my room the common area was silent. Both Rose and Alice's doors were open but they were still passed out. Deciding to let them sleep I slipped out the door and down the hall to the elevator. This was something that I need to do on my own. I hope they can understand that.
Seth was at the front desk when I approached to request a car.
"Miss McCarty, I trust you're feeling better, how can help you?" great. I wonder just how big of an ass I made of myself last night.
"Don't worry, I'm sure TMZ will find something else to post by the end of the day." I groaned.
Oh no! I'm not even. How in the hell do they know who I am and why do they care?
"For starters, I'm gonna pretend that last night didn't happen…Why would they even care about me I'm nobody."
"Last night? What happened last night? Look, it's your name. Your name carries weight you know socialite gone wild and all that."
"But I'm not- I mean my last name is Swan technically."
"Well according to you, last night your name was 'Isabella McCarty' and Isabella McCarty is a famous name."
"Right…so, I guess I need a car to take me to Malibu. How far is that from here?"
"Um with traffic about 40minuets, without 20, but there's always traffic."
"Right"
"Well your room includes a limo service so would you prefer a town car or a full limo"
"Town car, please…So, Seth, are you an actor or a model?"
"Um Pepperdine Law School" he chuckled. "Although I have done nude figures for the Art department for some extra cash" I smiled and chuckled at his confession. I guess not everyone in LA is a total douche.
(Malibu by Hole)
Once we reached the gate to the bottom of the property, the drive up the hill to Crossroads was beautiful. I rolled the window down and took in the peaceful ocean view. When I finally pulled up to the entrance courtyard she was waiting.
"Bella! Bella my baby! Oh baby it's so good to see you." She rushed me and clung tightly to my neck and shoulders and I squeezed her back.
"It's good to see you too mom. You look good."
"I feel good" she said taking a step back to get a good look at me "I wish I could say the same to you but you look like shit."
"Um thanks? Let's just say we had a long night"
"Oh no Bella what happened and who's we?" I haven't told her much about Edward and everyone else in Kirkland. She had enough to deal with and as usual my life came second to her issues and recovery.
"Oh uh that's right. I'm here with Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. We're staying at the Beverly" We began to walk arm and arm into the building. It looked more like a spa get away than a rehab center.
"Oh well I guess you are doing ok at Kirkland Prep. Cullen and Hale are some big names" We continued until we stepped back outside onto the beautiful Malibu hillside. There were garden tables set up. She gestured for me to sit while she took the seat across from me.
"Yeah…so mom you really look great" She was actually smiling. I mean she always smiled but this smile was different. Before it was a kind of a drug induced sloppy grin or crazy flightiness but today she seemed peaceful.
"Well it's this place. I love it here. I've conquered some demons that I didn't even realize I was still holding onto. OH! And I met someone"
"That's great! So listen, I really need to talk to you about some stuff…"
"I know. I've been waiting for this. I could tell from your last few emails that you were distant. Bella I know I haven't been the best mother and I put a lot of pressure on you to-"
"Presure…Presure? That's an understatement. Mom you dragged me to Arizona away from the only home I've ever know. When I was ten I was holding your hair back while you puked up your alcohol. I was so afraid to leave you alone that I couldn't even go visit my father."
"Bella I-"
"And now- now I'm so screwed up because I've never seen a positive example of love that I might have ruined my one chance with the love of my life"
"Sweetie I-"
"Who's Chip? Did you love him? Did you even ever love dad?"
"I-"
"Did you?" I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face any more than I could stop the words that were tumbling out of my mouth faster than a speeding heavy freight train.
"Bella it's not that simple"
"Yes it is!" I franticly screamed.
"No honey it's not. I guess I should start by apologizing to you" she calmly spoke.
"Spare me the steps"
"I know you're angry with me Bella but please just listen. I'm sorry for dragging you away. I wish I could have been strong enough to have stayed but I was so heartbroken that I couldn't see anything else. Not you or your father or even myself. And I'm sorry I forced you to grow up faster than you should have. You were more of a mother to me than I was to you and that is my biggest regret. Not Charlie or Chip or anything else. Straining my relationship with you is my biggest regret." By now we had both broken out into full sobs.
"Oh mom! I'm still here. You're still my mom"
"No sweetie it's my turn to reassure you. I'm here" she grabbed my cheeks with her palms. "You're still my daughter ok, you're still my child."
"Oka-a-ay" I sobbed and hugged her again. Sniffling we broke apart and sat back down
"So (sniff)"
"So, (sniff) what happened with you and dad? I'm old enough to know. I need to know. Did you ever love him?"
"Yes. But not the way he wanted me to. To be honest, he didn't love me either"
"We were so young when you were born. Even though you were a very welcomed addition, as you know, you were not planned"
"Yeah I knew that much" I chuckled.
"I was in love with Chip. I'm sure you're now well aware of the games played at Kirkland, the trading the dares a bunch of bored rich kids with nothing better to do but snort money and screw with or for money.
Charlie was just an innocent townie in the wrong place at the wrong time. Eventually I respected him and loved him but I was never in love with him. Chip and I missed our chance. By the time we were prepared to end the affair by coming out and being together publicly he died. I guess my heart couldn't take it and I began to drink to escape the pain.
For a long time I thought you reminded me of Charlie and Chip and the whole mess, but coming here helped me see that you were really my light through the whole thing. I don't think I would have made it without you Bella."
"You're stronger than you think mom. You just need to trust yourself."
"I know that, now" she smiled weakly. "So tell me about this boy"
"Well, remember Edward Cullen?"
"Of course! You two were so cute together when you were kids. That little boy used to look at you like you hung the moon and the stars just for him" I smiled at the thought.
"Well…" I ran through the last month of events between Edward and I. Rene interrupted here and there for details and when I got to the "and then we slept together" she gasped and then asked if he was my first. I felt bad bursting her bubble by telling her that while she was passed out drunk I had my cherry popped by my friend Jacob on a haystack at the back of the ranch just to get it over with.
"Oh my" she replied not knowing what else to say.
"And I said I needed time to think and he kissed me goodbye and here I am"
"Oh honey you didn't!"
"What?"
"Bella don't make the same mistake that I did, that Chip and I did, that you're father I did. He loves you and the greatest part of it all is that you love him…right? You are telling me that you love him?"
"Yes" I said it clearly without hesitation and it felt good.
"So tell him. Now, tell him before it's too late"
She was right I love him and I can't wait. I was wrong, I didn't need space from him or from us I needed space from me. I needed to perfect myself. I needed to cleanse my soul so that I could deserve him and deserve his love.
"You're right…So you're seeing someone?" I quirked my eyebrow at here and crossed my arms with a sly caught ya grin on my face.
"Yes" she beamed. "His name is Phil and he's a baseball player for some team in Florida. You know I know nothing about sports. Anyway, he's sweet and kind, and he's a recovering alcoholic too so we have that in common. And oo-oo I want you to meet him! Will you meet him?"
"Of course" I laughed at her excitement. She had a glow I had never seen in her before. It must be love. Even though it wasn't with my dad, I was truly happy to see her so happy.
Phil turned out to be everything she said he was. Nice, good looking and he looked at Rene like she hung the moon and the stars just for him. I left Malibu feeling 7 years lighter. Everything we went through seemed like a distant memory and this time I really believed her when she said that this time she was gonna be better. Now it's my turn to be happy. I'm ready.
*
The flight back to Washington was long but this time for a different reason. Instead of dragging on and being cornered into awkward conversation, I was bouncing off the walls in anticipation of seeing him.
"So what are you gonna say to him?" Alice asked.
Edward had offered to pick her up from the air port while Rose and I were set to ride with her step brother Jasper since Emmett has hokey practice.
"I really don't know, I just know that I love him" I smiled at the words "…I love him"
"We know" they both said in unison rolling their eyes but still smiling.
"Ladies, please fasten your seatbelts we'll be landing in about 10 minuets.
"You ready?" Rose asked grinning at me. I just gripped the seat belt and stared longingly out the window as the plane touched the ground. "Breathe B, in and out"
(Help I'm Alive by Metric)
"I'm fine" I smiled as I unfastened my seat belt and grabbed my carryon bag. We stepped through the door threshold to the stairs and there he was. Beautiful. Sad, but beautiful. I could tell that underneath the ray-bans sat the same pair of sad emerald stones waiting for me to come back to him. His crooked grin had been replaced by a somber tight lipped line and a crease was embedded into his forehead as he leaned against Lucy, the Aton Martin.
I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped my bag at the top of the steps and ran down pushing Alice and Rose out the way.
"Hey bitch, watch it!" She chuckled.
I sprinted towards him ready to jump. Sensing my plan he pulled his hands from the pockets of his jacket and caught me.
"Omph what-"
I crashed my lips to his before he could finish. Edward held onto my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist and held onto his neck for dear life. He tried to deepen the kiss but I pulled away. I had to see the difference. With one arm draped around his neck I used my other hand the push the ray-bans up into his hair and there they were. My gorgeous emerald pools that danced with joy and love for me. I looked deep into his eyes and said the easiest, smoothes sounding 3 words I have ever spoken.
"I love you"
He flashed my favorite crooked smile and replied
"I love you too baby" skipping the small stuff he kissed me deeply and passionately. It was a kiss full of lip biting and tongue battling and…love.
"I'll just get a ride from-" I waved Alice off without breaking the kiss while Edward still held me in his arms with my legs wrapped around his waist.
"Get a fucking room perves" I heard Rose snip. I flipped her off and smiled against Edwards soft, warm lips. Finally, I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his as I gasped for air. By now, heat was surging from my core and my panties became uncomfortably drenched with lust. The mushy shit was over and I wanted him inside of me, NOW!
Once I caught my breath, I managed to get out in a husky voice, "Let's get the fuck out of here".
A/N
Angsty Bella has a bad mouth lol. Were so not done yet! This chapter was hard to get through. It was one of those bump in the road chapters that took a lot of thought. I hope you all liked it and I hope it was worth the wait. Lemons to come in the next chapter, not too much back tracking but I will give you a taste of depressed Edward as he pines over Bella while she's in LA. The TMZ and Tanya situations will be talked about as Bella has yet to thank Tanya for her help. Official titles will be given as the Cullen Halloween party approaches…and then there's James…stay tuned! And, thanks for sticking with me! The rest will come easier so I should have them out faster than this lol. Thanks Guys : )