Hi guys. A short but emotion packed chapter here... a little empath meltdown and Esme works her magic.
Chapter 7.
Jasper walked into the study and took a seat on the couch opposite the desk from his dad. Carlisle was already looking at some papers; information he'd previously found but Jasper couldn't focus on that yet; as was a regular occurrence in the last few days, his brain was in overload; the last thing he needed was more information. He leant forward; breathing deeply and resting his head on his hands; his eyes focused on the ground; guilt pumping through his body and out into the room. He felt the concern coming from his father and he knew it wouldn't be long until he was asked the question he was dreading.
"Jasper, what's wrong?" broke the silence of the room all too soon. Jasper couldn't reply; it was too hard to admit to his dad what he'd just done. Carlisle rose from his seat and moved to sit on the edge of the desk in front of him; his hand brushing the back of his head as he looked down at his son. "I can feel your pain, Jazz. Talk to me, son."
"I think I've just made a huge mistake." He whispered; each word laced with pain and guilt.
"I doubt that. What did you do that you think is so bad?"
"I kissed Bella." He murmured.
Carlisle looked at his son; surprised by what he'd just said. The emotions and anger he'd displayed in the days before towards the newborn would've never made him expect those words to fall from his lips. "Why do you think that's a mistake, son?" He suspected he knew the answer but he had to ask anyway.
"I can't be rushing into something with her; Alice is barely a pile of ashes and I'm moving on to the next available girl. I feel like I'm letting her down; that I'm betraying her by starting something with Bella." It was an echo of the conversation he'd had earlier with his mother.
"But isn't this what her and Edward wanted for you both? They wanted you to be together. That's what this whole bond thing is about, isn't it?" He nodded his head slowly; still not looking at the older man. "Then tell me why you feel so bad?"
"I can't…" he hissed; self loathing adding into the already heightened mix of emotions.
"Do you want me to get Esme? Would you find it easier to talk to her?" Jasper didn't respond but Carlisle knew it was her he truly wanted; the closeness the two of them had as important to Jasper as it was to Esme. He left the room; pleased to be able to get away from the tension his son was emitting so strongly. He heard the front door shut as he made his way down the stairs and watched Bella head away with his two eldest children. As he watched them sprint from the house Esme appeared at his side.
"What's wrong?" she said softly.
He turned to look at her and smiled; her motherly intuition had been working full out in the last few days and she knew there was a problem before he even had to tell her. "Jasper needs you." He said. A look of understanding washed over her face that he noticed. "I don't think you're going to be as surprised as I was when I tell you he kissed Bella. He's beating himself up about it and I'm not sure I really understand why."
She smiled at him and they both moved up the stairs. Carlisle let her lead him into the study and watched in awe as she moved so gracefully to their child's side. "Jazz…" she whispered as she sat beside him; her arms wrapping around his body and pulling him into her. She looked back at Carlisle with a small smile as he saw Jasper begin to sob; his body shaking as he gave into the emotions that were wracking his body. All barriers he may have had in place earlier crumbled along with his stance and he slid to the floor from the couch; his mother's arms pulling him towards her. Carlisle took a seat at the other end of the couch and his hand brushed soothingly up and down his back as they let him cry; both of them knowing he needed to let out this emotion before he could deal with what led to it. The room was fraught with emotions and Esme was struggling to control her own sorrow as she received the greatest intensity from him.
It was almost an hour before Jasper calmed down but he remained on the floor; his head now resting on Esme's lap as she ran her fingers through his hair and Carlisle still rubbed his back. "Are you up to talking about it?" he asked softly.
"They'll be back soon." He murmured; his voice muffled a little by Esme's legs.
"We can call them and ask them to give us some time if you want us to?" she said. He nodded his head and Carlisle quickly pulled his phone from the desk and made a quiet call to Rosalie. As he placed his cell back on his desk his wife spoke again. "Why do you hate yourself so much, Jasper? This is about more than just a kiss with Bella; it's about more than your developing feelings for her. I want to know. Please tell us?"
The room was in silence for several minutes and the tension within increased to epic proportions; Jasper froze after Esme asked him and his parents stared at each other wondering what it was they were about to discover. For just a few minutes they didn't move; waiting for him to say something and then she felt him shift slightly against her; his head turning to one side on her lap; pain etched on his face. She continued to brush her fingers through his hair; the curls more pronounced today than they'd ever been. Neither of them could see his face but they didn't need to be able to in order to feel the devastation that was blasting into the room. "The last time I was with Alice, we fought. It was the worst we'd ever had and we'd been having a few even before Bella arrived in town. It got worse when she did. Alice didn't like the fact I was opposed to her presence when she first arrived; Alice wanted to be her friend and she hated the fact I wanted to kill her initially. We'd been hiding the tension between us because we didn't want you to worry about us but the fights gradually got worse and worse. Our last fight was, as usual, about Bella. She'd slipped out of the room while we were starting to argue and Alice blamed me. I guess, it was my fault but I wanted to make sure Alice was alright and so I'd followed her to our room. By the time we made it back to the suite Bella had long gone and the look of fury on Alice's face was like a knife to my heart. I never thought she'd look at me that way. The things she said were really hurtful and each one made me feel even worse. All I wanted to do was apologize to her and to help her find Bella but she ran from the room before I could say anything and she was gone by the time I got down to the hotel lobby. Then you all arrived and you know the rest." His voice was filled with pain and both his parents wished they could make him feel better. "She died hating me; she died thinking I'd let her down. And she wasn't wrong; I did let her down. All of this is my fault."
It was Carlisle who spoke first, "Do you really believe that, son?" He nodded his head. "You're wrong. I think it was part of their plan. I've been thinking about this since yesterday and I know they said you were the biggest hurdle they faced in ensuring things happened the way they wanted them to. You were with Alice and Bella but they needed it to end with Alice and Edward with her. It would've been strange for the two of them to go to Phoenix with Bella but getting Edward there was never the issue. He always was the fastest runner so he could easily get to the studio before us. Alice had to find a way to leave you at the hotel." Carlisle looked at his wife and saw understanding in her eyes; she could see what he'd already worked out. "Have you considered that Alice started the fights with you on purpose? She knew it would make it easier for her to leave you at the hotel; for you to take that little longer going after her. It couldn't be just one row; it had to be a string of them to make sure you didn't follow her too quickly. She did it to save you, Jazz. She loved you; I have no doubt of that. They both said it repeatedly in their letter to us all and I'm sure they said it again in the letter to you. Never let yourself believe that either of them felt anything less than that for you."
"Do you see the truth, Jasper?" Esme whispered.
He was silent again and they let him process what Carlisle had said to him. After some time he shrugged and Carlisle realized it was the best they could hope for. "Why don't we look at the stuff Aro sent and see if we can find anything else out?" He felt Jasper move slightly and held his breath as he slowly dragged himself off the floor and back onto the couch; sitting himself between his parents. Carlisle took the initiative and reached over to his desk and picked up the large pile of paper. He pulled it back over and pulled a few sheets from the back and passed them to Esme; another small batch was then passed to Jazz leaving a few sheets for him to absorb.
The three of them sat on the couch slowly leafing through the paperwork. Carlisle has his arm around Jasper's shoulder and Esme's hand was resting on his knee. The silence was more relaxed than it had been earlier but with a hint of melancholy circling around the periphery. After another hour they'd gone through it all and Carlisle wasn't sure they were any the wiser from the pages he'd read. "Everything on these was thing we already knew." Esme said softly; placing her sheets back on the desk.
"I've come up blank as well; although it did confirm the deadline is six months and not a year." Carlisle said. "There are a few bits regarding our presence being required in Volterra during the bonding; the whole family, not just Bella and Jasper; but nothing else of substance."
They both turned to look at Jasper. He was staring at the sheets; still reading the pages; every now and then he would flick back a few pages and the frown on his face would deepen. Carlisle thought for a second he looked even paler than he normally did but that was stupid. "Fuck." He murmured and both of them looked at him in alarm. "You've got to be kidding me…" he said a minute or so later; his frown deepening again. "I can't believe he would do this to me." He hissed; scrambling to his feet, looking much more like the human he used to be than the vampire he was now. "You need to read this bollocks." He said; throwing pages on the couch where he'd been sitting and then leaving the room at vampire speed. They were still staring at the door that was now closed when they heard the door to his room slam shut.
TBC
A/N: Now I'm sure some of you are probably wondering where the information about the bond was... well, I actually said last time that they would find out about the bond in this chapter... the big reveal for you won't be until next chapter (mostly anyway :-) ). I haven't decided whether to post chapter 8 tonight or tomorrow (It's a key chapter and I'm wondering if I should make you wait). Please review...