Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from "Sons of Anarchy." They are the property of Kurt Sutter and Fox Network. No money is changing hands in the writing, reading or distribution of this story.
Chapter 62
"How long does this take?" Asked Happy's Lauren, already pacing across Joss's living room.
Joss flipped the box over one more time, so unfamiliar with this whole concept, but the moment she'd gotten the frantic call from Happy's Lauren, she'd called both the girls over to her house; it was the best place to get an answer to this, Joss's house, where she could be in charge and therefore, be as strong for her friend as her friend needed her to be. "It says five minutes," she said, then looked at Juice's Lauren. "Hey, go get my kitchen timer; we can make sure we check it at the right time then, because it says here that if you let it sit too long, you can get a false positive."
"Good idea," said Juice's Lauren, then looked back at the other Lauren. "It'll be okay," she said, "No matter what it says; Joss and I are here for you."
"And no matter what you decide to do after we know what it says, too!" Joss added, looking at Happy's Lauren as she sank onto the couch and tucked herself up in a little ball. "There's always more than one outcome and more than one choice, and none of them are wrong, you remember that!" She said almost sternly, but truly, this worry was so very foreign to her, and Joss wasn't sure she was saying the right things…but she knew she had to keep her friend calm, and make her realize she wasn't alone, because she wasn't; Joss took care of her own.
"Alright, thank you both…but," Happy's Lauren sighed and then groaned. "Look, I never thought I'd be facing this, I really didn't! But I have at least five minutes to not be freaked out here, and that's what I wanna use them for." But Lauren's arms were folding over her belly even as she tried to not think about what her future might hold. Poor girl…maybe…Joss didn't really know if this was bad or good yet…it would depend a lot on how Happy reacted, if there was even something for Lauren to tell him. But even then…well, it would be a strange conversation, but Joss would go to Tig if she had to, and tell him that he needed to talk to Happy, prepare him for fatherhood, if it indeed loomed. Tig had two kids of his own, he'd done this once before, and he and Happy were pretty close. Tig might hate doing it, but he'd do it…Joss would make sure. "I need something else on my mind right now," Lauren sighed, looking at Joss and the other Lauren who was now setting the timer.
"Sure," Nodded Joss, looking over to Juice's Lauren as well, both of them nodding now. "It's safe here, Lauren. The guys are at work, and it's just us girls. We can talk about anything you want, or just sit and enjoy the silence, it's your call."
"No, let's talk!" She answered fervently. "But not about…you know," she said and then tried to shrug the thought away, sighing again and looked around Joss's living room like she needed to find a subject of conversation. And then she did, creasing her brow. "Why is there a potato masher on your steps?"
Damn it, Tig! Joss sighed as she looked towards her 'beautiful' red stairwell that lead up to the bedroom. "Oh," she said, trying to concoct a logical reason, but really, was there one? "Tig's…going through something right now, he's got something on his mind that he's trying to figure out, and when he's like that, he just gets…a little more crazy." She explained; well, vented really…every night was a new adventure that lead to another confusing conversation with him. "I think he's overcompensating a little in the creativity department as a result."
Both Laurens looked at each other, at a loss for words, then finally they both began to laugh. "A potato masher?" asked Juice's Lauren through her giggles and guffaws. "Really?"
Joss sighed, this was so unfair. "Well I'm glad you two think it's so funny, but I literally have to frisk him before he gets into bed with me at night!" She complained, but it only made the two other girls laugh a little harder, and Joss finally gave up and joined them. She loved Tig, no matter how odd ball and fetishistic he could be…but it would be nice when he finally realized whatever it was he was trying to tell her and got back to a more normal "Tig state" than the one he'd been in lately. Not that he was hard to get along with, he was actually very affectionate when they were alone, and it was wonderful; him pulling her back into his arms on the couch when they watched TV at night, or if he didn't do that, he was laying down with his head in her lap. Joss had never thought they'd be doing that on a regular basis…but then, she also never thought she'd be waking up next to a cheese grater either. But she did understand though…it made sense…Tig was wrapped around some mysterious "thing" he was supposed to do or say or give to her, and so he'd been fixating on objects that took the place of whatever it was he tried to determine he was supposed to be doing for her. He'd figure it out though. He knew what it was already, Joss could feel that every time he looked at her, but she had no clue as to what it was herself and wouldn't until Tig finally realized what he knew and shared it with her. One thing was for certain though, whatever it was, it was not a Panini press!
"Oh," Happy's Lauren took a deep breath and tried to recover from her laughter. "I needed that, thanks!" She said to Joss, looking a little bit more relaxed now…or so Joss guessed…because really, the idea of what could be happening, what they could be about to find out, was something that Joss just didn't know how to get inside of.
She smiled at Happy's girl though, Joss did understand worrying, and she hated to think of her friend facing so much unrest. "Glad I could help."
"Yeah, but I'm not eating at your house any time soon!" Laughed Juice's Lauren and the three of them began laughing all over again.
"It's not really like that," Joss felt that she should clarify. "Every night is like some…hostage negotiation, he comes upstairs with something, and I talk him into freeing it." She explained, as if the girls weren't going to laugh again, but they were, and so was Joss. She hadn't talked about this with anyone, so she wasn't prepared for how ridiculous it all was and sounded. Maybe it wasn't the most romantic story, and it wasn't really something she'd planned on discussing, but it had helped Happy's Lauren forget for at least a little while, and Joss knew how important a break like that could be in the face of turmoil and inner strife. "The wooden spoon took a lot of bargaining…he really wanted that…" she added, and the three of them laughed some more.
"You must have an interesting list of things you never thought you'd say in bed," Laughed Juice's Lauren, looking at Joss, and it seemed that it really was working, none of them were thinking about the test kit in the bathroom, readying to foretell the future.
"You have no idea!" Joss sighed, but still laughed. "'Tig, drop the muffin pan,'…'Tig, really, what are you going to do with the bread machine?'…'No, we do not need a coffin,'…"Fine, the rolling pin can 'watch' from the dresser,"…"I don't care how you do it, but you're going to get all that applesauce out of the bath tub!"
"Oh my God, really?" Juice's Lauren was laughing just as hard as was Happy's Lauren, both of them so affected by what Joss had said that they made no sounds despite their obvious hilarity. Good, they all needed this. "And I thought I had it rough with Juice shooting his underwear across the room, trying to get it to land hanging on the doorknob!" She continued, and again the three of them doubled over with more and more laughter.
"Well, no. I admit, I kinda embellished a little about Tig," Joss confessed. "I made that stuff up…except for the rolling pin part." She said, and the girls laughed again, "and the coffin." The girls still laughed…but damn…she'd very nearly lost the coffin fight…that would have been…eeeeeew, Joss loved Tig and all his proclivities with him, but she didn't want to think about that one. "This is my life…take it or leave it." She sighed, but smiled.
"Yeah," Happy's Lauren sighed from the couch herself. "But at least if Happy's thing were rolling pins and bread machines, I may not…be where I am now." Joss and Juice's Lauren both tried to step in and make her forget for the remaining time that she could, but Happy's Lauren just shook her head at them. "How am I going to tell Happy this? I mean, he's not Juice…Juice would be overjoyed, right?" One Lauren asked of the other.
"Well," Lauren sighed, thinking it over. "He'd be pretty shocked at first, I mean, we've never discussed this. I don't even know if he wants kids, but I've seen him with kids, and he does get along with them pretty good." She admitted. "He'd be there for me, just the way Happy will be there for you, too."
"She's right," said Joss, who didn't really have any hypothetical situation to relate to, but was doing her best and saying what she knew she should.
"You understand, Joss, don't you?" Happy's Lauren asked. "I mean, if you had to tell Tig you were pregnant…you'd be worried too, just like I am, for the same reasons."
"Well," Joss sighed, and she still couldn't put herself into that place. "When I was nine years old, I sorta had an accident, and after some intensive surgical repairs, I didn't have a uterus anymore, so…" she explained; but Tig seemed to carry some odd paranoia that she could get pregnant, even though he knew all about her, but Joss didn't even quite understand that. She'd lived with the knowledge that she wouldn't have that part of life, ever, and she'd more than let go of it before she was old enough to even understand it. But, well…she had to try here. "If things weren't the way they are, and it did happen, Tig wouldn't be exactly thrilled," she said, because Joss being pregnant was some unnatural fear for him. "And Lauren, if you are, then yeah, I can see where Happy might react a little…disappointedly, but," she paused and looked at Lauren levelly. "You can't always go by a first reaction! A lot of times, guys pull the fuck away from shit they actually do want incredibly hard, because knowing how much they want that thing, or love that thing, or how happy that thing could make them, forever, scares the hell out of them." Yeah, pregnancy, babies…they weren't in Joss's repertoire, but big, tough, dangerous men who tried to resist the pull of what they wanted most, but felt like they didn't deserve, yeah, Joss knew all about that. "If it's so, just give him time to do what he's going to do, but he'll be back. I promise you that."
And then the kitchen timer that Juice's Lauren had set for five minutes began to beep, silencing all of them. "Well," said Juice's Lauren. "Who wants to go check it? We're looking for a 'plus' or a 'minus' in the little window."
Happy's Lauren turned an ashen face towards Joss, and Juice's Lauren just shrugged her shoulders. Joss sighed…"fine," she said, and got to her feet. "It's not like I'll ever be here again, anyway."
Chapter 62; Part 2
Both Ope and Tig knew what Tig had seen early last Sunday morning…and now they were stuck working together on this old panhead…which was just barely that anymore. Clay had bought it at the CBA's, rescued it really from this stupid cocksucker who had about ruined the rocker shaped covers. The engine must have been dropped on a hard surface at some point, it looked damn near like a 1966 shovelhead now, but it wasn't. But this engine was dead…beaten and broke down, and Tig began to wonder what kind of hope Clay realistically could have had for it. But, he and Ope had been tasked with trying to restore it, and that had meant Tig's expertise in cleaning, chasing and chamfering all the threads, and Opie's gift for sealing all the cracks in the combustion chamber…which had of course fated them to be working together today in close quarters.
"We're not really going to get anywhere with this until it can be bead blasted," Opie sighed as he stood back and looked at the engine that they'd been working on all morning long now. They'd been talking, a lot, but it had all been central to the old panhead, neither one of them mentioning a damn thing about the CBA's, the wannabe, the Ten Patch, and certainly not what Opie took from Joss. Fine, if Ope wanted to play it that way, Tig was content to as well…but despite how hard he tried, he could not get the image of Opie leaning Joss back against his bike, his arms around her, and his mouth over hers…until Joss had pulled away, turned her head with a fury…Jesus fucking Christ did Tig want to ram Ope's head into the chamfering machine and then beat the fuck out of him until his whole face was one massive, bloody schism, and he would have, if it weren't for knowing that Ope wished to do the same to him over Donna. At least Tig still had Joss…his dark, sweet, perfect Joss…and when it came down to it, Tig couldn't blame any man for falling in love with her, even though it made him so fucking crazy to know they had.
No, he had to focus on this poor old engine and forget everything he knew about Ope. "We don't have enough valve stem seals for this dinosaur anyway," Tig stood next to Opie, looking down at their 'patient' and shaking his head. "I'm still thinking that she's gonna hemorrhage oil cuz her heads are so fucking warped."
Peripherally Tig saw Opie shoot him some kind of smirking glance, "If you say so," he said as if deferring to an expert, but before Tig could react to that little quip, Ope continued, looking on at the suffering engine. "So, do we tell Clay she didn't make it?"
"Who didn't make it?" Came Clay's voice as he approached both Ope and Tig, likely coming over to check on their progress, but he was carrying what looked like a business card. Great, the last thing Tig needed to hear, concerning the panhead, was that Clay had already found a buyer for it, and they wanted it fully restored by mid week.
"Not my words, man," Tig said, looking squarely at Ope, but then turned back to Clay. "But your panhead; she's in a really bad fucking way, Clay."
Clay peered grimly over Tig's shoulder, "Hmmm," it was obvious that he saw what Tig and Opie had both seen, and hopefully he was reconsidering trying to save it. Tig wasn't sure how much longer he could go on working with Opie today, knowing everything, but saying nothing. "I hate to see something so classic being dumped though, you know?" Clay asked, looking at Tig and Ope. "That's part of history right there, our history; the birthplace of our brotherhood, we gotta maintain that. We ain't got that, then we got nothing."
Fuck…Clay wasn't just talking about the old panhead anymore…Tig knew it. Brotherhood…yeah, without that, they had nothing. He looked up away from the nearly demolished panhead and saw that Opie was looking back at him, and they were both nodding their heads. Shit…they were going to have to get through this, the engine, and all their shit. "So, we keep going then, huh?" He asked, but still met eyes with Ope, even though Tig knew Clay's answer before he said it…and he didn't have to, it came in the form of a pat on the back from Clay, for both Tig and Ope.
"It may not be easy, or even pretty at times," Clay said as he drew back a bit, like he was going to leave them alone again, to work on things. "But you'll get it there, I know you will." He said, and then did step away. Tig looked at Ope and Ope looked at him…they were similar, but were they similar enough to do this; to take something so beat up and abused and make it run perfectly again? But before either one of them could say something, or even look away from the other, Clay reappeared, tapping the business card he'd been carrying on Tig's arm. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said. "Had a guy with some vintage, Varga-girl kinda modeling agency stop me and talk to me for awhile at the CBA's. He's really impressed and excited about Joss, gave me his card and I talked to him for a good hour, he sounds legit. Wants Joss, or her manager, to give him a call and maybe set something up, he says when he looks at her, he sees the revival of Betty Page."
"What?" Tig hadn't been expecting that, not at all…but Joss and Betty Page, yeah, he definitely could see that! Betty Page…whoa…yeah, Tig had passed a few lonely evenings with her photographs as company…she was something special…and so was Joss! God damn his little girl was hot, yeah, she'd be a perfect pin-up…no wonder she'd drawn the attention of a…whatever this asshole who had talked to Clay was. But still, did he want Joss doing this? She was an absolute masterpiece of beauty and sensuality, and yeah, he liked showing that off and having it recognized, but did he want pictures of that before the eyes of more than only himself?
Clay pushed the business card into his hand, Tig looking down at it and feeling as though he wasn't the only one that was caught off guard and unsure, and a quick glance upwards revealed that Opie stood there looking flattered, but apprehensive as well…that motherfucker…what had Tig told him about whose old lady Joss was, and who got to worry about her? But what was he going to do? Punch Opie out here and now, in front of Clay, get into trouble for doing it because it would have looked unprovoked, and then have to explain what happened at the CBA's, so all the speculation could then shift to Joss and why she was still living? No, he'd told her they were going to forget that shit, and he'd meant it…but Ope…fuck…no, just ignore it; that was best. Besides, Clay clearly wanted him an Ope to work things out; Joss had said Tig would need Ope one day, and now that same message was coming down from Clay too. "Clay, man…seriously, you think this is a good thing?"
Tig realized he hadn't actually been asking about the modeling thing, though he had been looking at the business card when he'd asked, and of course, that's how Clay had taken it. "I think a few calendars with a reaper on them, and your gorgeous old lady in them, wouldn't hurt this club at all!" He said, then patted Tig's shoulder once more, and walked away for good this time, or so it seemed, because he did stop and look back once more. "But you just make sure it's tasteful! I'm not kidding!"
"Shit," Tig sighed, still looking at the business card, but Clay's words actually were making him think about Joss and calendars now. Tasteful? What the hell did that even mean, and why had Clay felt he had to say that? Tig wasn't even sure he was going to approve this! No, the CBA's were enough…Joss was ridiculously alluring and beautiful and sexy…and anything with her image on it, along with a reaper, would be a legitimate money maker…but still…what if his idea of "tasteful" where Joss was concerned didn't match that of the asshole with the camera? Camera boy got thumped to death…that's what it meant.
"Hey," Ope said, kind of quietly, but anxiously, looking at the business card in Tig's hand still. "You're not really going to let Joss do that, are you?" He asked, obviously less than enthused than Clay was. "I mean, Betty Page? All that bondage shit and the…nudity?"
Fucking piece of shit…that was it, Tig couldn't 'just ignore' it any longer. Opie was probably just asking out of sick, jealous curiosity, just dying to sneak a peak of Joss to complete the immoral fantasy in his head…and that wasn't fucking tasteful! Fuckin' doll's eyes in a civilian bitch's fat ass…shit! Tig was so ragged out with how pissed off he was that he couldn't even swear anymore…he was rapidly becoming comical…but at least this was all happening in his head…he hoped…and there was only one way to stop this though! Tig raised his hand, a fist at the end of it, but at the last minute he remembered where they were as he swung it forward, and all of sudden, his index appeared as he pulled the punch, and he just stood there pointing viciously at Opie. "You just stop God damn thinking about my old lady's 'nudity!'" Tig yelled, and then all of a sudden the entire garage was looking over at them. Fuck…okay, he'd lost it, but could anyone blame him?
"I'm not, man!" Ope shouted back, and waved his hands in front of him, showing that he wouldn't fight, but that he wouldn't have any unmerited assumptions about what he was thinking made either. Ope quieted again, obviously he hadn't meant to start drawing attention to this, or to them. He looked back at Tig, glanced at the business card, and one more time, gave Tig a good long, level look, like he really wanted him to think about this. Fuck, Ope may have had feelings for Joss that Tig fucking hated him having, but Ope also had mad respect for her too. "I just don't want to see her, you know, exploited."
What the flaming hell gave Ope the right to say that to Tig about Joss? Holy fucking shit on Jesus's head! Tig was going to bust him up…good…real good…where the fuck was that tow chain he'd strung Butcher up with? No…stop it…get control…at least for right now…bust his ass up later. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Tig yelled again, though he'd meant to stay quiet. Was this Ope's new thing? He was going to try to make Tig look like he would sell Joss out, so that everyone would suddenly support Opie taking her away from Tig? Fuck no! God fucking damn it, Tig really wanted to go grab the Crescent Wrench and bash Opie's big 'ol Chewbadooba head into a pulpy paté. "That girl is sacred to me, man! I fucking love her! You think I'd patch her, and then put her out there like that? Like she's some free-pussy hangaround?" Holy shit…did he just say, out loud, that he loved Joss? And he was still living to tell the tale? What the fuck was happening anymore? Motherfucking-cunt hair-cow licking-Capistrano-cocksucking-can opener…that's what Opie was…makin' all this bad, stupid, shit happen!
"Look bro," Despite all the ridiculously and cartoonish-ly violent thoughts that whizzed through Tig's mind, Opie stood there and held his ground sternly. "All I'm saying is this: I know what she is to you man, and I respect how you feel about her, I do! Everyone in this club knows what she is, but you start letting pictures like that of her get out among civilians, and …well, they don't fucking know what she is, or what that patch on her back means, do they?"
Shit! Fuck! Double shit fuck! Ope was fucking right! Tig suddenly went quiet, but it had very little to do with the current friction between he and Ope, or this modeling thing, which Tig would have to do some long, serious thinking about before he'd have an answer. But he had an answer to one thing. Joss! Man, he had to get home to her…now!