A/N: Oof. It's been a while. Thank you to those still reading. I really appreciate it. I know it's been a long while but I'm looking positive to wrapping this up soon. I miss it. Thanks again to those reading and reviewing!
Beige.
Beige belts, beige sheets, beige rope.
Beige hands collected in themselves, clenched tightly as if to save him.
"Someone get Doctor Miller!"
"I'll call 9-1-1!"
"Patrick? Patrick, let's get you up and out of here, okay?"
Patrick Jane remained motionless, sobbing silently underneath Peter's hanging corpse.
"Patrick, come on. Let's go get you some breakfast," a nurse prodded, laying a graceful hand on his back.
He looked up at the woman, whispering "Breakfast?" tears staining his cheeks. "My roommate is DEAD and you want me to go get some breakfast?!"
"Patrick, calm down-"
"No!" he yelled, rising towards her. "I will NOT calm down!" He shot a look at another nearby nurse. "Where's Doctor Miller? I need to speak with Doctor Miller."
"Did you see something? Did he tell you anything?" she prodded once more.
"No! NO!" he yelled. "I need to see Doctor Miller."
He rose from his spot on the floor, rushing past the nurses. Sirens rang from outside as he bolted down the hallway.
"Doctor Miller?!" His loud voice echoing within white walls. "DOCTOR MILLER?!"
He kept running. Running, running, running. White walls seemingly closing in on him, chasing him. Hunting him. He went to the offices to find the doors locked, Sophie nowhere to be seen.
He banged on the doors repeatedly. "Doctor Miller?! Doctor Miller, Peter-" he failed to catch his breath, sharp sobs escaping his panicked lungs.
Heavy footsteps harmonized with the sirens, growing louder as they drew closer.
"Patrick?"
The man raised his head at the male voice, Neil drawing nearer. "Patrick, what's happened?"
"No," he began, "no, I don't need you! I need Doctor Miller! SOPHIE?!"
"Patrick, it's okay!" the blonde psychiatrist ran from down the hallway. "It's okay, I'm right here."
He approached her quickly, his breath like that of a marathon runner. "Doctor...Sophie, I..."
"Shhh, hey." she cooed, "Hey, it's okay. You're okay."
"N-No, no I'm not! Peter-"
"I heard."
"It's all my fault." he began, pacing. "It is. It's my fault."
"Patrick, these things happen-"
"NO!" he cut her off, stopping in his path and staring straight into her eyes.
Sophie looked on him with understanding, hoping the peace in her eyes would take to his.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Patrick let his breathing settle, mind and heart racing.
"Come on. Let's talk about this."
He brought his gaze to the floor, shooting a look at Neil. "I can't."
Sophie and Neil made eye contact. He caught Patrick's piercing stare, recognizing that he was not wanted here. Neil nodded, backing down the hall and turning towards Patrick's room.
"We need to be somewhere safe," Patrick panicked. "Somewhere no one else will be."
Sophie lead him into her office, masking concern with every step.
"Sophie, Peter didn't kill himself."
The psychiatrist took a breath, opening herself to understand where he was coming from.
"I know who killed him."
"Patrick, did you have something to do wi—"
"No! No. I mean…" Patrick's mind raced back to making plans with Peter about hunting Red John. "Yes. In a way I did but I didn't do it."
"Can you explain what you mean?"
Patrick brought his gaze to the floor, lost in thought. Peter wouldn't kill himself. Peter didn't do this. Red John. Red John did this.
"Patrick?"
He knew. He knew somehow that I was making a plan with Peter. He knew that we were plotting to find him. He knew.
"Patrick, hey."
If I talk about this with anyone else, they're at risk. He brought his gaze up to Sophie. I can't put her at risk. I can't put anyone at risk.
"Patrick, talk to me."
I've got to do this alone.
"Patrick?"
"Hmm?" he looked up at his doctor.
"Want to talk about where you went just then?"
He paused. "I was thinking…I was thinking about how it's probably possible th-that Peter…"
She waited.
"It was just so unexpected." The blonde man burst into half-faux tears, not knowing where to go from here.
Sophie moved around to comfort him.
"He seemed so happy last night, you know? He was talking all about his day and eating his twinkies…"
"Sometimes these things happen, Patrick. You had no control over it. It's okay."
I did have control over it.
I should have never brought Peter into this.
"Did he seem at all on edge?" a detective continued with the interrogation.
"Yes. I'm mean but not abnormally so." Patrick answered. "It was a regular night, like I've said to the past few people."
"Okay, that's enough. Thank you, detectives." Dr. Miller rescued the distressed blonde man. "You doing okay, Patrick?"
"He nodded, meddling with his hands in his lap.
"You need anything, you let me know. Okay?"
He nodded again, trailing his gaze at the handful of nurses and detectives in the common area. They had cleared it of all patients until they could get Peter out of the building and everything settled. Patrick sat with his hands in his lap when his ear caught conversation from across the room: attempts at whispering gone awry with Patrick's hawk eye ears.
"Hey, isn't that the Red John guy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Y'know...he talked about Red John on TV then Red John went and...well, you know."
"Oh! Yeah! That is him. Poor guy. That's a lot to have to handle."
"I bet. You get any word on the case?"
"Red John? not as of right now. It's between SAC PD and CBI right now but no leads since there hasn't been much action on that front."
Sacramento Police Department and the California Bureau of Investigation. That's who I need to go to.
"His eyes remained on the floor when he heard someone approaching.
"Pat?"
"He looked up at the recognizable young man.
"George?"
"Yeah. Hey." George sat down next to him. "Sophie called and told me what happened. I wanted to come and check on you."
""How thoughtful." Regardless of his monotonous expressions, Patrick was more than happy to see his old aid. "George, I...I wanted to apolog-"
"Hey. It's okay." George tried to comfort him. He had time and distance since the previous incident and no longer viewed Patrick as a threat to him.
"That's what they keep telling me but it doesn't feel okay."
The two sat in silence. Patrick nodded with gratitude, thankful that he had someone here with him. Especially someone who had known him from the beginning of this process.
"You seem different. How are things?"
"As good as can be expected. At least with me." Patrick looked up at the gurny disguised as a bed as to not show the obvious corpse beneath. "Not so much for Peter."
"It's a shame." George continued. "He was so happy and doing so well."
Patrick nodded.
"I'm going to get out of here, George."
"Are you?"
""Yes." Patrick confirmed. "Yes I am."
"You seem to be doing well so I would imagine you are sometime soon."
"Patrick nodded. "I'm seeing things from a different light."
"What are your big plans, Patrick? What are you looking forward to?"
"I think it's comfortable to discuss your discharge now, Patrick. What do you look forward to once being back outside?"
"Dr. Miller, I think I'm going to go away."
Sophie was taken aback. "Really?"
"Yes." the blonde man was certain. "I'm taking the advice of you and a few others."
"And what is that advice, Patrick?"
He took a moment, looking down at his hands.
"I need to move on. I need to move on with my life and get over it. Start new. I have nothing for me right now. No career, no family, no residency. I can go anywhere and do anything and I am eager to move on."
Sophie's eyes filled slightly with tears, moved by this epiphany. "Is that so?"
Patrick nodded. "Yes. Yes it is."