Hello. Thanks to everyone for the reviews - really they blow my mind. Well here's the next chapter... it's all about the two of them taking baby steps towards something more. Enjoy!
Chapter 9.
Bella was resting in Jasper's arms in the early hours of the next morning when they heard their family return to the house. The last few hours they'd lay in silence; their hands moving intermittently to caress the other. Despite the passion that had built between them the night before and the obvious sexual tension they shared, they'd done nothing other than kiss and Jasper hoped she wasn't too disappointed he wasn't prepared to go any further. He knew her relationship with Edward had left her in an almost permanent state of denial; hell, he'd felt it too whenever she'd been with them and while that wasn't how he wanted her to feel, he didn't want to go too fast either. She stirred in his arms; almost as if she'd just woken from a deep sleep and then pulled herself from the bed. "I'm going to go and shower." She said; her eyes not quite meeting his.
"Hey." He said, moving quickly to kneel on the bed and pull her back to face him. "Don't do that. I'm not ashamed of our relationship, Bella. I just want us to do this so we don't end up getting hurt. I don't ever want to hurt you and at the moment I think I would if I rushed into this. Both of us are still grieving for our loves and we need to move past that before we get into something else." He saw some sort of understanding in her eyes and was relieved, "I'll meet you downstairs, okay?" She nodded her head but still refused to look at him. He lifted her chin and kissed her softly; moaning into her mouth as she kissed him back eagerly. She moved to the bathroom and he watched her leave. "I think there are things we're going to have to sort out today; family stuff, so don't be too long." She smiled at him this time and he felt better for seeing it.
Esme looked at her son as he moved down the stairs and she could see the change in him in the hours since she'd last seen him; resolution seemed to have filtered into his stance as he moved towards the lounge. She smiled at him tenderly and the brightness of his returning one took her breath away; she was glad to see he wasn't shutting himself away from everyone in his room anymore. "Where are Rose and Emmett?" he asked.
"They've gone to Seattle to get some clothes and things for Bella. She has virtually nothing with her and she's different to how she was when she was human so Rose thought a new wardrobe was in order; without the need for a painful shopping trip for her."
"I'm sure Bella will be relieved to be spared that. I know she never relished the threatened shopping trips with Alice."
"How are you both this morning?" She could tell he was feeling a lot better than he had the previous few days; even the way he was dressed showed that. Usually he always seemed so restricted with the clothes he wore but this morning he was wearing just a T-shirt and his low-slung jeans. She could see he was more relaxed and for the first time in the many years she'd known him, some of his scars were visible and they didn't seem to be bothering him.
"We're okay, I think. We talked last night; about the bond and some other things too and I think things are going to work out."
"Carlisle wants to have a family meeting later today to discuss things. There's stuff we need to sort out."
"I'd guessed as much. Bella will be down shortly."
"Do you need to hunt?" He shook his head and she frowned slightly. "It's been days since you've had anything, Jazz. Are you sure?"
"Really. I'm not thirsty at all. Maybe I'll go with Bella later. She should probably hunt again today anyway."
Jasper sat on the couch and it wasn't long until Bella almost floated into the room. His eyes were fixed on her when he saw she was wearing one of his tops. "Sorry, I didn't have anything to wear. You don't mind, do you?" He shook his head and she smiled at him; taking a seat next to him on the couch.
"It looks better on you than it ever did on me anyway." He said. She giggled and rested her head on his shoulder.
Esme watched their interaction with interest and could see the ease between the two of them and knew Bella was the reason for her son being as relaxed as he was. She didn't miss the way Bella's fingers traced a scar on his forearm as they sat close to each other and talked quietly. She didn't miss Jasper pressing his lips to her temple in a tender kiss that made her mouth want to break into a huge smile as she saw watched her two children. Even when he'd been with Alice he'd never been this open and she realized Alice and Edward had been right. Carlisle drove back up to the house as she was watching them and she smiled at him as he walked into the house; his attention was immediately caught by the couple at the other end of the room from where she sat. He looked at her; the question obvious on his face and she walked towards him and hugged him quickly. "They're fine." She whispered so only he could hear before pulling him into the kitchen to give them some space. "How did it go? Were they okay?"
"Yes. It was a lovely service; there were many people there. They were upset but I think they'll be fine. They were taking strength from each other. I went to the hospital too and sorted out things there." She nodded and gave him another quick hug. "A lot seems to have changed since I left. Was I gone longer than I thought?"
She smiled at him widely as she saw the slightly confused expression on his face. "Our children have begun to heal, dear."
"I can't believe the change in Jasper." He said quietly.
"I know. It's like he's a different person. I've never seen him this way in all the time he's been with us."
"It suits him. They look good together."
They heard the roar of Emmett's jeep pull up onto the driveway and they walked back into the lounge; a slight shake of a head at Rose and Emmett being the only indication to them they shouldn't comment on it when they walked into the room and stared at the couple. They placed a pile of bags down near the doorway and then took a seat on the couch opposite Jasper and Bella.
Jasper was more than aware of the attention they were receiving from the rest of the family and the curiosity, from Emmett in particular, was high. He could feel the love emanating from his parents for both him and Bella and that made him happy. What made him the happiest though was the girl sitting next to him and he was sure everybody in the room could see it too.
Carlisle cleared his throat and they all turned to look at him, "Bella, there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it." He paused slightly; as if to collect his thoughts, "Bella, this morning I went to your funeral." Bella's eyes widened and Carlisle continued speaking quickly, "The service was lovely and both your parents were there. They were, obviously, upset but they seemed to be helping each other cope with their loss." He paused seeing the pain on her face as she thought about her parents.
Jasper put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. The four of them watched for several minutes as he comforted her; whispering so quietly into her ear that even they couldn't hear. Finally she pulled away from him and turned back to face Carlisle. "Thank you for going, Carlisle. I'm glad my parents are coping with this. I knew it was going to happen but it came as a bit of a shock that they thought I was dead. What do they think happened?"
Rosalie spoke, "They think you were in a car crash and were killed instantly."
The family was silent as they let Bella absorb what she'd just been told. "I've also quit my job at the hospital." Carlisle said; trying to steer the conversation away from her death.
"But you love that job!" Bella exclaimed; just as upset by what he'd said now than when he'd mentioned her 'death'.
"Bella, we need to leave Forks. We can't risk someone you know seeing you when you're supposed to be dead, dear." Esme said.
"Okay, I get all that but is now a good time, what with the bond thing already going on?"
"We think now is the perfect time; apart from anything else it may help the two of you as there will be less memories of Alice and Edward around for you both." Rose said softly.
"So where are we going?" Jasper asked.
"We thought maybe Alaska; there's a house there, not too far from Denali that we haven't stayed in before. It's a fairly remote area and the wildlife up there is prolific." Carlisle said.
"When?" Jasper asked; a flicker of a memory of the letter from Edward and Alice floating through his thoughts for a fraction of a second.
"Tomorrow, so we need to pack everything today." Esme said softly.
"The removal men are coming in the morning, so you and Bella should leave first thing, before they turn up, Jasper." Carlisle said.
"Okay." He said, squeezing Bella's hand.
"The rest of us will drive up with them later in the day."
The room became quiet and Jasper looked at Bella who nodded minutely. "Guys, there's something we need to tell you as well. We've talked about it and we're going to be going through with this bond thing… so I guess we're all going to be taking a trip to Volterra in the future."
"Are you sure, son?" Carlisle said.
"Yeah, we're sure." All four of them stared at Bella and Jasper and Bella squeezed his hand gently as she became more self-conscious under their appraisal.
"Why don't you both go and hunt?" Esme said, breaking everyone from their inhuman moment.
"But what about the packing?" Bella asked.
"You need to hunt and the four of us thought we could pack Alice and Edward's things while you're out." It was Jasper's turn to squeeze her hand and he winced only slightly as they mentioned Alice's name.
"I think you're right, maybe that would be a good idea," Bella whispered, suddenly needing to be alone with Jasper and away from the surveillance of the rest of the family. Jasper could sense her urgency and silently agreed with a quick nod. The house became a hive of activity as each family member moved towards their respective destination. Bella and Jasper slowly walked out of the front door and outside.
It was a dry day which made a change for their location and as they walked Bella began to wonder if it would be the same in Alaska. "What's it like in Alaska?" she asked once they'd stopped in the middle of a field not far from the house.
"I haven't been to this house but the one we stayed at before wasn't too dissimilar to being here, really."
"Why can't we go back to where you've stayed before?"
"They sold the house when we moved here. They must've bought this one after the sale went through. Carlisle and Esme always like to keep a few houses as backups in case we have to relocate quickly."
"Like now?"
"Yeah, I guess. Sometimes we have to move even quicker; when someone's made a mistake. It's difficult to get used to but it's inevitable it will happen to us all at some time. Even you with your extremely good control will probably slip at some time."
"Is that why we're going early tomorrow?"
"Carlisle and Esme just want to avoid the possibility." He said softly as he felt her anxiety climb.
"They don't trust me." She said, turning her head away from him and staring into the distance.
"Bella, you're a newborn and so far you haven't encountered a human since you changed. They just don't want to put you in a position where you're with one and it becomes too difficult for you. I don't think it will happen; I've never seen someone with the level of control you have but it's not worth the risk, believe me."
"You think my control is good?"
"Better than mine." He said softly. She frowned in concern. "The reason we normally have to move is usually because of me, Bella. It's usually me that makes the mistake. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm the one going too; in some ways they don't trust me; they trust me much less than they do you."
"You're always so tough on yourself, Jasper. You haven't made any mistakes while you're in Forks have you?"
He knew she was trying to reassure him and yet her words made him feel worse. "I've thought about it." he said softly; unable to look her in the face.
She was surprised by what he'd said and she knew he'd be able to feel it. "When?"
"When you first moved to Forks. I was annoyed because I thought Edward was taking an unnecessary risk by trying to see you; when we had a family meeting about it I seriously thought about coming over to your house and putting you out of your misery." Still he couldn't meet her eyes.
"What made you change your mind?" she whispered; surprised by what he was telling her. She wondered briefly if she'd have been scared about this if she'd learned about it when she was still human.
"Alice and Edward. I could feel how much Edward loved you and Alice told me the two of you were going to be the best of friends. I couldn't take that away from them; or you, really."
They were silent for a couple of minutes as Bella thought about what he'd just admitted to. "Do you think that's why we never really spent any time together when they were alive? Because they knew what you'd been thinking about doing?" They were sitting next to each other now; all thoughts of hunting momentarily forgotten as they continued this painful conversation.
"I've thought about that since this all started and I wondered if they were worried something might happen between us; and I don't mean me killing you." He looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "I thought maybe they'd seen a vision where if we spent time together we'd prefer it to being with them; that they could tell there was chemistry between us; they seem to think we're a good match with each other now so I guess that makes some sense. And they said in the letter to me that we had a lot of things in common; I don't think it's such a stretch for them to think it might happen."
"Do you think we'll ever get to the stage where we don't feel guilty about this?" She didn't need to explain to him what the 'this' she was referring to was; they could both feel the steady change in their relationship that had occurred in the last few hours.
"I hope so. It's not what they would've wanted anyway. They just wanted us to be happy; with each other."
"I hope so too." She whispered.
Jasper decided now was a good time to change the subject. "What do you want to hunt today?"
"I'd like to see you hunt; I want to see the expert at work." She said shyly; knowing she'd be blushing if she was still human.
"I'm no expert, Bella."
She leant forward and brushed her lips against his ear, "Let me be the judge of that, Jasper."
He closed his eyes as the lust emanating from her body hit him harder than any punch. He pulled himself to his feet and held his hand out towards her. As soon as they were both standing he took off at a run and she followed him close behind. It wasn't long before they fell to a walk and then stopped completely; the terrain was much different now; the trees more dense than they'd been near the field they'd just been in. He turned to look at her, "I need you to stand in one of the trees; watching me from there. I can't risk you distracting the prey." His words were only a slight lie; the only thing likely to be distracted by her presence was him but he hoped she'd believe him and wouldn't argue the point.
Bella had the impression he wasn't telling her the whole truth but she didn't make an issue of it. "What are you looking for?" she asked as she saw him survey their surroundings.
He could sense her curiosity in her words and he smiled at her widely. "Can you smell it; almost taste it?" She nodded quickly in answer to his questions. "That's grizzly bear." He said and he saw her look at him in shock.
"It smells amazing; not how I imagined it would."
"You'd better not tell Emmett though; he'll be gutted he didn't get to show you this."
"I won't say a thing. It'll be our secret. I thought you preferred big cats to bears?"
"I do but a grizzly is pretty good." He smiled at her widely, inspiration striking him as he looked into her eyes, "Anyway it's a huge animal, I thought maybe we could share it once I've caught it…"
"Really? Cool." She put her arm around his waist and again pulled herself closer to him; kissing his cheek briefly. "Go careful, okay?" she murmured.
"You don't need to worry about me, Bella. The bear doesn't even know what's about to hit him."
"Yeah but as you said it's a huge animal. I just don't want you to be hurt."
He looked at her; feeling her concern for his safety ebbing from her. "There's no need to worry." He said before leaning forward and giving her a soft kiss on the lips. It was supposed to be a kiss that reassured her; made her stop worrying about him but it turned into something else as they both deepened it. The tension between them reignited and he pulled away from her sooner than either of them wanted him to. "The bear is the one who should be worried; he doesn't suspect a thing. Now go; stand in the trees and I'll go catch us some food."
She moved at speed towards the trees and he saw her scaling the branches until she was standing high in the canopy of one; staring down at him. Jasper turned his back to her and closed his senses to everything other than locating the bear. There was a definite art to this and with his gift Jasper certainly had a talent for it. His eyes drifted shut and he mentally reached out across the expanse. He could smell his victim in the distance; could hear its steps lumbering towards him and knew it was only a matter of time before it was close enough. He moved silently back into the trees; needing to mask himself from the bear's view once he appeared. He didn't have to wait very long before that happened as the bear came into sight just moments later. Jasper held his breath as it got closer; it was another edge his kind had over the animal kingdom as they didn't need to breathe so it was even harder for their prey to hear them. He stepped forward towards his target; each one barely a whisper, his speed increasing as the bear got closer. All his focus was on the animal and he knew it had no idea what was about to happen.
His attack on the bear was swift; his movements barely noticeable to the animal as he leapt at it and his teeth sunk into its jugular. His hands gripped and broke its neck with one sharp tug. He began to drink from the animal; his eyes closing as the blood poured down his throat. A small part of his brain registered her approach; feeling her appearing at his side. As he released his hold on his meal he felt the host of emotions that were pouring from her in a way he found as intoxicating as what he'd just been drinking. Her overriding emotion was hunger and he watched as he stepped back and she moved in front of him; quickly beginning to drain it of its remaining blood. The carcass dropped to the floor once they'd finished and she spun to face him; her excitement written on her face. "That was… amazing and hot." She murmured before launching herself at him and kissing him with gusto. His arms wrapped around her and he let her mouth attack his; all focus on the woman in his arms immediately. She pulled her mouth from his and stared at the remnants of blood that lay on his face; a usual occurrence when giving yourself over to the hunt. She moved slowly to him and then she began to lick the blood from his skin; her tongue brushing softly over the smooth surface.
Jasper could barely breathe as he felt her emotions spike again with lust for him. She finished her task and smiled at him tenderly; her emotions evening off a little. "My turn," he whispered before doing to her what she'd just done to him. A soft moan slipped from her lips as first his mouth and then his tongue brushed across her skin; a small noise that had more of an effect on him than the taste of blood did. Soon her face was clean but by now Jasper was intent on something else entirely. His mouth brushed hers again and she kissed him back; as eager as he was. The passion in it was unmistakable and neither of them wanted it to end; but end it had to. Jasper could tell they were edging far too quickly towards rushing into this and it was something he'd sworn they wouldn't do. "We need to stop." He breathed against her mouth.
"I don't want to, Jasper."
He could feel her frustration and disappointment; with a twinge of rejection that tore at his heart. He was being as unfair to her as Edward had been and he knew it. "I don't either but it's too soon."
"We both want this, Jazz. I can feel how much you want this and I'm sure you can feel how much I do. Can't we just…"
"Bella," his voice was filled with pain and she stopped talking and looked at his face. "Yes I want this and I know how much you want this too but that doesn't mean its right." He closed his eyes; fighting again with his own libido and trying to calm his traitorous body. He spoke in a whisper once he'd regained some of his control. "I'm sorry. I know this is unfair to you. I just need some time to get past what I feel for Alice."
"How long?" was all she said and he could hear the desperation in her voice.
"It won't be long, I promise." She sighed in frustration and he felt the disappointment she was feeling keenly. "I'm sorry," he repeated; his words no less heartfelt. His guilt increased as he saw the emotions in her eyes. "I feel like I'm leading you on. I'm as bad as he was; I should know better than this." It was him that was frustrated now; with himself and the circumstance he found himself in.
"It's not the same. With Edward it was much worse because at times I didn't think he even wanted me at all. With you, I know you want me," she stepped closer to him; close enough to feel the evidence of how much he wanted her. "I can understand why you want us to take this slow and part of me agrees but I wish we didn't have to because seeing you kill that bear was a really big turn on." His body betrayed him again and the smile that had crept onto her face as she spoke widened as she felt it too.
Jasper knew he'd be blushing if he was still human and for the first time in many years he was glad he wasn't. He sighed and began, again, to fight the increasing arousal that'd been ever present in her company in the last few days. "We should be getting home; there's still a lot of packing to be done."
"Should we hunt some more before we travel tomorrow?"
"We can stop on the way if we need to."
"Okay." He took her hand in his and they began to run back to the house. "I won't let you forget your promise though, Jazz." She said as they ran.
"I wouldn't expect you to."
TBC
A/N: So what did you think? Let me know. Please review. Next chapter, it's the move to the new house. Coming soon...