Episode 10: The Calm
Part 1:
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Leaning back against the head rest Blake clenched his fist, his fingers tightening dangerously on the crystal whiskey glass. A million thoughts running through his head, all chaotic and conflicted, churning about just like his stomach. It was probably far too early to be drinking or far too late, either way Blake really didn't give a damn.
Hearing the phone buzz, Blake picked it up, hearing his pilot's voice.
"We'll be touching down in JFK within the next ten minutes Mr Carrington, plenty of time for you to catch your connection."
Growling a thank you, Blake put the phone down, swigging the rest of his whiskey debating whether he had time for another before deciding against it. It wouldn't do for the airline to refuse to carry him after all the hassle they had gone through to find a flight to Zurich leaving first thing on a Sunday morning.
Glancing at his watch Blake realised he had now been up almost twenty-four hours, and he probably looked every minute of it. Normally he wouldn't even have woken by now. Alexis enjoyed a lay-in at the weekend and it was a bad habit that he had found himself adopting as well.
Thinking of Alexis caused his stomach to clench once again and Blake almost reconsidered on that drink. He felt so completely ashamed of himself, a coward, even the memory of this morning made him cringe…
Stumbling over the edge of the chaise Blake cursed loudly. Leaning down he rubbed his throbbing shin.
"Damn stupid furniture." Blake hissed stumbling back over to his wardrobe and squinting in the dim light he tried to find his light blue shirt.
"Blake?" Alexis mumbled throwing her hand over her eyes squinting against the sudden light as a cursing Blake reluctantly turned on the bedside light.
"Sorry Darling try to go back to sleep." Blake muttered reassuringly, hoping that she would do just that and not question him further, yet he should have realised Alexis would never do that.
Frowning as she glanced at the small clock on her side table Alexis spluttered her surprise. "Blake it's four in the morning...What are you doing? Just come to bed."
Sighing as he placed the final shirt he was packing into the open suitcase Blake shut it with a sharp click finally looking up at her, with her hair mussed and her eyes soft from sleep she had never looked better.
"I'm sorry Darling but I..." Blake broke off unable to say the words, the truth stuck in his throat and he found a lie springing from his lips instead. "The Chinese called they asked for a meeting, I need to fly out on the next plane."
As the words settled between them Blake felt his stomach lurch, he was lying to her, even if it was to protect her he was still lying and it sickened him.
"Urghh rather you than me." Alexis groused falling back against her pillow, thumping it back into shape as she closed her eyes to block out the light, yawning widely.
"When will you be back?" She muttered dozily stretching out across the bed like a contented cat, pulling Blake's pillow into her arms she gazed at him through her lashes.
Swallowing as he picked up his case Blake shifted awkwardly from one foot to another. "I'm not sure…I'll just have to play it by ear."
Nodding Alexis yawned again. "Do you want me to postpone the meeting with Principle Evans?"
Groaning as he remembered the scheduled visit to Miss Dru's preparatory school for young ladies, Blake inwardly debated it. Finally deciding it was best for Krystina to keep the meeting, the sooner they had her settled the better. "No, as long as you don't mind taking her alone?"
Shrugging Alexis smiled sleepily. "No I don't mind, I'm flattered you trust me enough to look after her."
"Well I'd better be…"
"Aren't you forgetting something first?" Alexis cut in with a chuckle holding out a hand to him.
The hand that displayed the diamond he had given her, the symbol of the promise he had made, the future they had ahead of them.
Trembling Blake stepped forward, setting the case down, he took her hand allowing Alexis to pull him close and place a soft kiss on his lips.
"Blake… your lips have been known to be more passionate." Alexis pouted causing Blake to smile despite the tsunami swarming in his stomach.
"Even at four in the morning?"
"Especially at four in the morning!" Alexis retorted, one plucked eyebrow rising teasingly.
Cupping her cheek Blake stroked her skin reverently his dark eyes drinking in every detail. "I love you…I don't tell you that enough…If it hadn't been for you in California I dread to think what would have happened to me, I'd probably be clinical depressed and in jail by now."
Blinking back tears Alexis smiled softly, "Oh Blake…I love you to. I just feel so blessed to have you back in my life."
Swallowing down the sickness Blake covered up his discomfort by pulling her close, burying his face into her hair he breathed her in, her scent, her warmth. Then pulling away slightly he cupped her face, meeting her gaze before he kissed her firmly. The kiss deepening as Blake tried to pour all of the feelings he couldn't find words for into it, even his anguish and suppressed fear made it into it, in the way he held her tightly against him unwilling to let her draw back even for breath.
Gasping and panting Blake suddenly pulled away, unable to meet those troubled glittering emerald orbs that bored right through him, Alexis knew him to well and he had let his guard down for a moment.
"I'll call…" Blake muttered backing away and grabbing his case as he strode towards the door, ignoring her calls for him to wait. He didn't dare look back; if he did he might never find the strength to leave.
The jet shuddered as it touched down on the runway jarring Blake from his memories. Glancing at his watch he realised the pilot was right he would make his connection in plenty of time.
Yet it wasn't the flight that concerned him, it was what was waiting for him when he arrived that caused his heart to beat fast in his chest and his palms to sweat. He didn't dare think about what might happen afterwards, his mind simply couldn't process that he was too tired; all he could think about was Switzerland, a clinic there, and a certain fair haired lady whom he had missed so desperately.
---
"Does LB know you've stolen his playroom?"
"I haven't stolen anything…I am merely borrowing it." Alexis retorted through the brush clenched in her teeth, squinting as she tried to judge if her green was too dark.
Hovering inside the doorway to the studio Fallon decided against sitting on the sofa, afraid that the mud from her boots might stain the upholstery. "You're up early."
"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd try and do something constructive."
Surprised by this reply Fallon frowned, normally when her Mother couldn't sleep she found other ways to occupy herself, ways that usually had her Father arriving at breakfast with a dopey smile on his face. "Where's Daddy?"
"He's not here; he had to fly to..." Alexis began stopping only when she realised she didn't know where Blake was meeting the Chinese delegates, perhaps he had mentioned it and she had been still half asleep, but somehow she didn't think so. "He has a meeting with the Chinese Oil Ministry."
Frowning at her Mother's deliberate vagueness Fallon found her curiosity piqued. "At such short notice?"
"They are their leases. When they say jump it's not like your father has much choice in the matter." Alexis retorted sharply, perhaps too sharply as it only convinced Fallon there was more to this impromptu business trip than meets the eye.
"But to leave without saying goodbye or even saying where he is going…Does Jeff even know about this?"
Slamming her paintbrush down in frustration Alexis rounded on her daughter. "How the hell am I supposed to know?"
"Sorry I just thought…"
"No you didn't think Fallon and that is crux of the problem." Alexis muttered glancing at her canvas and huffing in annoyance, it was terrible well below her usual standard but then again she had hardly been practicing lately.
Hanging her head like a chastised child Fallon sank into the nearest chair, no longer caring if her riding clothes got the furniture dirty. "You're still mad about last night."
"I'm less than thrilled by your little surprise announcement yes." Alexis snapped, relieved that the conversation had shifted. "I would have preferred to announce it in my own way, after having discussed it with Blake."
"Was he very angry?"
"He was furious but I managed to talk him down, if you're lucky by the time he gets back from this trip he might have calmed down enough to merely give you a verbal ticking off about interfering in other people's affairs."
"I am sorry Mother." Fallon answered softly. "I was so happy about your engagement and thought all of Denver should hear about it and…"
"And the publicity generated from such an announcement would hardly be negligible!" Alexis added savvily catching her daughter's eye, relieved when Fallon at least had the decency to blush. "And part of me even admires the way you scooped your hotel that particular coup but I would appreciate it if from now on if you exercise greater restraint before announcing private family matters."
"Don't worry Mother you won't wake up tomorrow to find proposed wedding dates splashed all over the papers." Fallon retorted sarcastically.
"I am very relieved to hear it." Alexis countered just as acerbically before moving to clean her brushes, there was little point trying to paint when she was this keyed up, painting needed focus and patience both of which were in short supply this morning.
Standing up Fallon moved to look at the canvas. "It's…"
"Awful." Alexis finished for her, with a crack of a smile. "It's alright you can say it."
Returning her mother's smile with a grin of her own Fallon grudgingly admitted. "You've done better."
Laughing at Fallon's turn of phrase Alexis shook her head. "I damn well hope so…Urgh I'm not in the mood to paint."
Relieved by the lifting of the tension Fallon asked. "Well what are you in the mood for?"
Putting her brushes away Alexis shrugged, taking Fallon's arm they walked out of the studio. "Oh I don't know…a large slice of chocolate cake and an old fashioned romantic movie…Something with Carey Grant in."
"Sounds like a plan, want some company?"
Smiling Alexis nodded, squeezing her daughter's arm gently. "I'd love some."
"Good Jeff can handle the kids for the day." Fallon added with a chuckle at the thought. "I'm going to have a girly day with my mother."
Rolling her eyes at the thought Alexis's smile turned into a grin. "Just as long as you don't ask me to curl your hair, you're still as much of a fidget as always!"
"Moi!" Fallon gasped in faux horror before bursting into giggles and arm in arm the pair made their way back into the house.
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Part 2:
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Looking in the mirror Adam surveyed his reflection, rubbing his newly shaven chin thoughtfully as he towel dried his hair, convinced that he had at last lost his prison pallor. Reaching for the tennis kit that Dana had thoughtfully left on the side, Adam dressed quickly, opening the door that lead back into the bedroom. A smile tugging at his lips as he caught sight of Dana struggling with the Sunday crossword, her beautiful face creased in a frown as something puzzled her.
"Aren't you ever going to get out of bed little Miss lazy bones?" Adam teased leaning across the bed to place a kiss on Dana's forehead and sneak a peek at her puzzle. "Ten down...Incapacitate."
Huffing at his interference Dana took a swipe at him with her paper, annoyed when Adam ducked agilely out of her way, yet she wrote down his suggestion.
"Hmm I'll get up in a while, it's nowhere near lunchtime yet so I doubt Alexis will send out the inquisition." Dana retorted gamely, snuggling back against the pillow.
"Play nice." Adam warned playfully. "Mother likes her routine; Sunday lunch is more of a ritual in England than it is here."
Rolling her eyes at his automatic defence of Alexis, Dana did her best to stifle her amusement, only the small twitch of her lips gave her away.
Walking back into the bathroom Adam picked up the wet towels and placed them in the basket calling back over his shoulder, "I talked to Mother about you starting at Colby Co and she agreed that you'd be wasted in the secretarial pool."
"Adam..."
Carrying on oblivious to the hesitancy in Dana's voice Adam added, "So she suggested that you be assigned to working in the PR department, learning the ropes by shadowing the assistant director..."
"Adam I am not going to come to work at Colby Co." Dana insisted softly but firmly cutting him off mid flow.
Frowning as if he couldn't quite believe what he had heard Adam dropped the towel and turned to face her, walking back into the bedroom, "What?"
"Blake offered me my old job back at Denver Carrington...." Dana added as Adam's face clouded over. "I already know most of the staff and my way around..."
"And you decided this without even consulting me?" Adam hissed, his eyes flashing with temper. "I can't believe you would do this...We are supposed to be a team, to support each other, that's what you said you wanted but now you prefer to swan off to Denver Carrington...So much for loyalty!"
"Did you ask me before talking to Alexis?" Dana retorted angrily. "No you just assumed, assumed I'd follow you over to Colby Co like an obedient little puppy. You didn't even give it a moment's thought that I would be much happier at Denver Carrington, where I at least know people, where people would respect me and not whisper behind my back that I only got the job by sleeping with the boss's son!"
"Phone for you Mr Carrington." Gerard hovered politely at the edge of the doorway, his previous restrained knocking having been overlooked; blue eye darting nervously between a pale Adam and a flushed Dana who resisted the urge to demand what he was staring at.
"Thank you Gerard I will take it my own room." Adam replied curtly and the butler took the first opportunity to escape.
"Adam…" Dana pleaded as her ex-husband jerkily crossed to the open door. "Don't go we need to talk about this…"
Snorting at her appeal Adam shook his head. "I think you have said quite enough already Madam. In fact I think you have made your position quite clear." He added fist closing on the doorknob so tightly his knuckles turned white, slamming the door shut behind him.
Stalking down the corridor to his own room Adam resisted the urge to slam this door as well, but as he had already lost his grip on his temper once this morning, instead he shut it quietly but firmly and turned the key in the lock so that he wouldn't be disturbed. Crossing the room to where his private line was flashing, he lifted the handset and released the hold button.
Taking a deep breath Adam answered calmly, "Carrington."
"About time Carrington…I almost wasted all my change on this little call."
"Dobson?" Adam gasped immediately recognising the voice of his former jailmate. "Wha…Why are you calling?"
Dobson's amusement at Adam's attempt to hide his discomfort was obvious, "I missed you and thought we might reminisce about the good ole days..." He drawled sarcastically before adding. "I'm calling in that favour you owe me Carrington. Surely you haven't forgotten?"
---
Sunday lunch had been a rather subdued affair, and as the day progressed Alexis felt Blake's absence keenly. Even her girly morning with Fallon hadn't managed to make her forget it completely.
And she wasn't the only one as Krystina had seemed withdrawn, almost drowned out by LB and Danny's boisterous banter.
So before Blake's little girl could vanish Alexis called her to her with her beguiling smile. "Krystina."
Hesitating in the doorway Krystina fiddled nervously with the cuff of her jumper.
Setting her napkin down Alexis crossed the room and slipped her hand around Krystina's shoulders guiding her down the corridor to the living room.
"Are you looking forward to visiting Miss Dru's tomorrow?" Alexis asked settling herself down on the settee and patting the space beside her, a space that Krystina sank into warily.
"Yes…"
"Yes?"
Chewing her lip Krystina couldn't meet Alexis's knowing gaze.
"It's alright if you are feeling nervous." Alexis added warmly. "I would be worried if you weren't."
"I just…"
"Go on."
"Well what if these girls don't like me either?" Krystina suddenly blurted out, her blue eyes wide and pleading.
"Oh darling is that it?" Alexis laughed pulling the little girl against her, touched beyond words as Krystina buried her head into her chest. "They will love you, you just have to remember who you are."
"Who I am?"
"You are Krystina Carrington, daughter of Blake Carrington. You are bright, pretty and fun to be around. You just have to remember to be yourself and they will love you!"
"You're sure?" Krystina whispered her fingers tightening on Alexis's arm, her thumb rubbing the pretty gold charm bracelet that adorned Alexis's wrist.
"Well you made me love you so of that I am certain." Alexis insisted placing a soft kiss on her soon to be step-daughter's forehead.
Stroking her fingers through Krystina's hair Alexis wondered whether now would be the best time to bring it up, the one subject she had been pondering ever since Blake had asked her to marry him. "Has your father talked to you about the wedding?"
Shaking her head Krystina stayed silent. And Alexis swallowed nervously before carrying on boldly.
"Well I was wondering…I was hoping that you would want to be involved with the wedding party…It's alright if you don't, I won't be angry but I would really love it--If you'd be my bridesmaid?"
Lifting her head so fast Krystina almost smacked Alexis on the chin, but a last minute collision was thankfully avoided and forgotten in the light of Krystina's excited chatter. "You mean it…I get to walk down the aisle and I get to wear a pretty dress…Do I get to scatter flowers and…"
"Wow calm down, that was a yes then?"
Bouncing with excitement Krystina nodded and exclaimed. "Yes!"
"Well then I think all of that can be arranged Miss Krystina." Alexis answered with a smile.
"Can I pick my own dress?"
Stunned by that request Alexis paused as she wondered how to handle this one before striking upon an idea, a compromise that would suit them both. "Well I have an idea, tomorrow after we are finished at Miss Dru's why don't I introduce you too two very special people, but you have to promise to keep everything a strict secret. Not even Fallon has met them."
"A special secret?"
Nodding Alexis bent down and whispered in the girls ear, "We're going to see my Couturiers, the men who design my clothes. They will be working on my wedding dress, and they will help make you the most beautiful dress for the wedding. And while we're there we might as well have them make you a whole new wardrobe, little girls grow so fast after all."
Crossing her heart Krystina practically beamed with excitement, finally she had what all the other girls had taunted her about. She had a new mother.
---
Walking through the empty lobby Blake heard his footsteps echo across the marble floor the only other sound the rattle of the luggage cart and the accompanying soft tread of the night porter.
Approaching the reception Blake rang the bell and a moment later a smartly suited concierge appeared from the office, a slight smile on his lips as he nodded his greeting asking in clipped English. "Mr Carrington?"
"The very same." Blake groused reaching for his wallet and handing over his credit card to be swiped.
Handing Blake both his card and the key to his suite the Concierge reached behind the counter and returned with a neatly printed message. "This was left for you Mr Carrington...A Dr Muir."
Intrigued Blake flipped the note open, his plans changing slightly. If the good Dr Muir insisted on seeing him first then Blake would oblige him. "Would it be possible to arrange a car and driver?"
"Of course sir...What time?"
"Nine will be fine and I would like a wake up call at 8 am." Blake added pleased when the concierge just nodded and didn't try to exchange further pleasantries.
Following the porter into the elevator and up to his suite Blake fumbled for a note, his head so mixed up that he was wasn't sure whether he had tipped the poor boy too little or far too much. Finally alone Blake took his suitcase into the bedroom yet instead of unpacking it like he knew he should he sank down onto the bed; after travelling for almost twelve hours non-stop it felt so good to stretch out.
Staring up at the ceiling Blake tried to calm his thoughts, to force all his conflict aside for now yet as he turned on his side his gaze fell on the telephone and his stomach twisted with guilt. He really should phone home, even if just to tell them he had arrived safely. Yet he knew if he did he would have to face all those questions that a sleep deprived Alexis had failed to ask the night before.
But that might all be worth it just to hear the sound of her voice. Perhaps that would help him make some sense out of this whole mess. As since the phone call the night before Blake had never felt so adrift, so alone. This was the first problem he truly had to solve alone in years; he couldn't turn to Krystle for advice on this and Alexis would hardly be impartial either.
Rubbing his forehead he heaved himself out of bed shrugging off his heavy overcoat and rummaging in his suitcase for his pyjama's and wash kit. Heading into the bathroom he decided to run a hot bath, hoping that might somehow allow him to relax. Yet despite his exhaustion Blake didn't think he would be able to sleep tonight either.
As the steam filled the bathroom, Blake slipped off his soiled creased clothing and walked to stand in front of the mirror. Glancing up at his reflection he winced, he hardly recognised himself, he looked old. A old man, a conflicted troubled man.
"Dear God help me…What am I going to do? Give me a sign…Some guidance anything I'm begging you."
Yet if God was listening he didn't deign to answer. So Blake could only hope if divine help wasn't forthcoming, a good night's sleep might help him find some answers.
---
Part 3:
Glancing at his watch Blake resisted the urge to get up and pace. He hated waiting. He hated being kept waiting. He hated not knowing what was going on.
He had arrived at the clinic promptly at nine thirty as requested by Dr Muir and had expected to be ushered straight into conference with the good doctor immediately. Yet instead he had been greeted by a polite but frustrating closemouthed secretary who had apologised for her boss, he had been summoned by a colleague to provide a second opinion and should be back soon.
Soon was also frustratingly vague. Did she mean a minute or two, ten or half an hour? Blake could only guess as he sat in the Doctor's office, stomach churning, fingers tapping out a drumbeat on the arm of his chair.
Even the view of the pretty grounds that surrounded the exclusive grounds did little to sooth him. It had now been nearly forty-eight hours since Blake had slept more than half an hour straight, he had tried at the hotel but with the time difference, Denver being eight hours behind, his body was convinced it was far too early to sleep despite his exhaustion.
Combine that with the fact that he had grown accustomed to holding Alexis close as he fell asleep, his hotel bed had felt too cold and empty to enable him to actually relax. So the night had passed with him tossing and turning before he had given in to the inevitable and switched on the television; skipping assorted German channels until he had found one English one.
It had been just his luck that the one English channel available had been a blasted shopping channel, if Blake never saw another infomercial for un-bluntable knives or miracle cleaning solutions that could remove even the toughest stains, it would be to soon! It was only as he found his fingers reaching for the phone as he contemplated where he could house the BodyPro Portable body gym that his brain decided now was the time to shut down, and so he had managed to doze slightly until his wake-up call.
Fortunately before he could drive himself further to insanity the door opened and in walked Dr Muir.
"Forgive me for keeping you waiting Mr Carrington."
Jumping to his feet Blake rushed to shake the doctor's hand, his previous annoyance evaporating now that he might finally get some answers.
"My wife Doctor?" Blake asked before inwardly correcting himself, Krystle technically was no longer his wife, yet after forty-eight hours Blake no longer thought calling people by their proper titles was the most pressing concern.
"Please sit Mr Carrington." Dr Muir insisted in his precise English, seating himself behind his desk. "As I said on the phone your wife has woken from her coma, at first she remained unconscious but over the past few days she has had longer periods of lucidity. At first she was only able to open her eyes and squeeze a nurses hand. During that time we were able to conduct a preliminary assessment…."
Sitting on the edge of his seat Blake clenched his hands so tightly on the armrests that his knuckles turned white.
"We started by asking the usual questions, if she knew who she was, squeezing or blinking once for no, twice for yes. If she knew where she was etc. The results were encouraging, Mrs Carrington has full recall of who, where and why she is here."
"Well that's good isn't it?" Blake cut in, wishing the Doctor would come quickly to the point.
"Yes it is good Mr Carrington, but when it comes to patients coming out of coma every small step is a milestone. Being able to answer our questions prove that Mrs Carrington has access to her memories, which indicate that previous surgery to remove her tumour was a success. Then just yesterday she started to speak, only a few words, yes, no and she asked for you."
Frowning as he continued to hear only good news Blake struggled to understand just why the Doctor had insisted on talking to him first. If everything was fine why couldn't he just go and see Krystle?
"However…"
Tensing as he prepared for the bomb to drop Blake watched as the doctor retrieved a file and stood and switched on a light box. Putting up a few head scans he pointed to a darkened area.
"We took these scans every month for the last year, these are a selection. One taken just after the surgery, another three months later and this last one, just two days ago. As you can see the mass has increased over that time, in fact the growth of the new tumour is probably what accounts for your wife's waking as it is drawing more blood into previously damaged areas."
Shaking as he processed this new bombshell Blake grasped for something, anything. "But you can operate, you said the last surgery was a success…"
Switching off the damning scans Dr Muir returned to his place behind the desk. "I'm sorry Mr Carrington but that just won't be possible, the tumour is too deep in the brain and…"
"No Dammit I refuse to believe there is nothing you can do!" Blake's hold on his temper failed and he slammed his hand down hard on the desk. "Well I'll find another doctor, get a second, a third opinion if I need to…"
"Calm down Mr Carrington I am not saying there is nothing that can be done."
Sinking back into his seat Blake ran his fingers through his silver hair, before clenching a fist and forcing himself to relax.
"We have started Mrs Carrington on a series of drug therapies, they should help to limit the growth."
"But not destroy the tumour?" Blake asked tentatively.
Sighing deeply Dr Muir shook his head. "I'm very sorry Mr Carrington but in my opinion that simply isn't possible. I can recommend another specialist if you require another opinion?"
"No. Thank you." Blake muttered softly, the fight all drained out of him. "I know you are the best at what you do…How long do we have?"
"That is hard to say. If the drug treatment is successful we could slow the tumour's growth considerably, we might be looking at a year…maybe two...Perhaps longer it is difficult to say for certain."
"And if the drugs don't work?" Blake asked unable to believe what he was asking.
Taking off his spectacles Dr Muir looked on concerned at the broken man in front of him, wishing he could pass on some comfort but his ethics forbade him from being anything but honest. "Then based on the current rate of growth I would say we are looking at three possibly four months until Mrs Carrington becomes sufficiently impaired that she slips back into a coma."
---
Slipping into the bright room Blake smiled at the pretty flowers that danced in the breeze, their bright blue nodding heads lifting his spirits, yet the sight of the beautiful blond in the bed caused his heart to leap in his chest.
She looked exactly like he remembered, as though time had passed her by unchanged. The eternal sleeping beauty untouched by the passing of the world. And just like an anxious Prince Charming Blake crept to her bedside, unable to believe that this lovely lady had once been his to have and hold.
Sitting down beside the bed Blake reached out and hesitantly took her smaller hand in his own, content to sit and wait, watching her peaceful face as she slept he felt his tension seep out and his exhaustion catch up with him. Lulled by the sound of her breathing and the warmth of the sun on his face Blake leant back in his chair, his eyes drifting shut. His turmoil momentarily forgotten, just for now he was content to enjoy the peaceful serenity Krystle exuded, so he drifted off to sleep.
"Blake."
Turning in his sleep Blake grimaced as he felt something dig into his shoulder blades yet he didn't want to wake up just yet. He was having the most wonderful dream, he was home with all his family round him, everyone was laughing and happy and then out of nowhere Krystle was hanging on his arm; blue eyes twinkling and calling for him to come and play with Krystina.
"Blake."
He ignored the voice, the summons back to reality preferring to stay in the dream world where everything was bright and happy and he could hear Krystle's laughter echoing in his ears.
"Blake."
The demanding voice returned, low and croaky, yet somehow familiar and so reluctantly Blake woke, blinking his eyes against the setting sun. Yet far more radiant than the sunset was the smiling angel who was watching him in amusement, blue eyes twinkling as Blake finally realised where he was.
"Krystle." Blake muttered reverently, clutching at her hand, delighted when she returned his grasp just as firmly. "My god Krystle."
"Blake." Krystle could only gasp, her voice still low and raspy from lack of use, yet her smile was as bright as always.
"Darling." Blake answered reaching out and cupping her cheek. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you again…I thought…" Blake broke off unable to put into words the horror and isolation of the months after her operation.
"Krystina." Krystle's voice was throaty but the determination in her eyes shone through as was the underlying question.
"Oh she's just wonderful!" Blake gushed. "As bright and beautiful as her mother."
Smiling at such a wonderful compliment Krystle threaded her fingers through his before asking her next question. "The family."
Pausing Blake fought the sudden wave of panic, the memories of the past year flooding back, along with the guilt. He was now about to lie to the other woman in his life.
Avoiding her gaze Blake fumbled for a glass of water. "They're fine…All fine. Fallon and Jeff are back together, as are Dana and Adam. Steven is working in Washington and is a roaring success and little Danny is staying with A…us at the house."
Cursing himself as he fumbled over Alexis's name Blake's stomach churned. "They all miss you of course."
"Home…Going home."
Glancing up Blake started at the firmness of her tone, and the matching steel in her gaze.
"As soon as the Doctors say so. I promise." He answered keeping a smile on his face, yet his mind raced ahead, just how was he going to pull that off?
---
Fallon Colby prided herself on the renovation of The Carlton. It had been hard work and often meant an early start in the mornings. Yet the benefits of keeping her nose to the grindstone had been drilled into her by her father from an early age, probably in the hope of counteracting the wilder tendencies that came naturally from Alexis.
But this morning Fallon wasn't at the hotel, she had a secret mission of her own.
Her Father's disappearing act and current silence was affecting her Mother much more than Alexis was prepared to admit. It wasn't normal behaviour for her Mother to be up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday, nor was her restlessness and low level irritation something Fallon had come to expect.
So here Fallon was at Denver Carrington determined to track down her father and force him to get in contact.
Going up in the elevator to the executive floor Fallon smiled at Marsha who was stunned to see her boss's daughter.
"Mrs Colby how can I be of assistance?"
Smiling Fallon came quickly to the point. "Hello Marsha I was wondering if you had a contact number, or any details about where my father is staying?"
Startled by the question Marsha frowned, a polite smile staying on her lips. "I wish I could help you Mrs Colby but why would Mr Carrington have left those details with me? I mean he is taking a well deserved break from work at the moment, I'm sure Mrs Colby…Your Mother would be the best person to ask."
Stunned by her answer Fallon fumbled for a response, covering up her awkwardness with a nervous smile.
"Oh…Of course, how silly of me. I just thought as I was passing." Fallon added, her excuse sounding stupid even to her own ears. Yet if Marsha noticed her father's secretary was far too polite to comment.
It wasn't until Fallon stumbled back into the elevator that her smile fell from her face and a thunderous expression took its place. Just what the hell did Blake Carrington think he was playing at? One thing was certain Fallon Colby nee Carrington was not going to stand idly by as her Father played power games with her Mother. She would track him down if it took ever contact in her Filofax and every outstanding favour owed to her by her fellow Hoteliers.
She would track him down and when she did, she would give him a piece of her mind he would not forget in a hurry.
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Part 4:
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Straightening his tie in the reflected glass of the elevator doors Dex Dexter smoothed the lapels of his pinstripe suit and allowed himself a moment to check his appearance. With his dark good looks and a killer tan he certainly turned more than a few heads as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out into the foyer.
None more so than Alexis's young male secretary who got nervously to his feet, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips as he stared apologetically at Dex. "Mr Dexter."
"Let me guess she's still in a meeting?" Dex joked, surprised when Alexis's secretary blushed and stammered slightly avoiding Dex's piercing gaze like a school girl with a crush.
"Telephone conference…It was due to be over ten minutes ago." The nameless blond replied before asking eagerly, gazing up at Dex from under thick blonde lashes. "Can I get you a coffee while you wait?"
"No thanks." Dex replied politely, yet with an underlying hint of amusement; he couldn't help wondering just when he had suddenly become irresistible to secretaries, of either sex.
Fortunately for Dex before Blondie could offer to serve him in any other way the intercom buzzed and the lady herself could be heard demanding to know if Mr Dexter had arrived yet?
"I'm just sending him through Mrs Colby. Can I get you anything?"
"Get me a fresh pot of tea…And hold my calls for the next hour Terry." Alexis demanded, her irritation clear from her tone.
"It's Jerry Mrs Colby." Blondie answered, yet if Alexis heard him she didn't bother to apologise, the only reply was the sound of her putting down her receiver.
Chuckling to himself that at least some things never change Dex let himself into her office, surprised when instead of being seated behind her desk Alexis was stood by the window, her back to him as she enjoyed a cigarette.
"Tough morning." Dex commented coming to lean against the glass, his head tilted as he watched her every movement out of the corner of his eye.
Blowing out a lungful of smoke, Alexis gestured with her hands. "Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by idiots."
"Present company excluded I hope?" Dex retorted gamefully, a cheeky grin pulling at his lips, which earned him half a head turn and a small scowl yet he could tell her heart wasn't really in it, that glare had barely scorched.
"Would you prefer I came back later?" Dex asked when Alexis continued to stare out at the view lost in her own thoughts.
Shaking her head Alexis dragged herself back to the present forcing thoughts of Blake from her mind, stubbing out her cigarette and turning to face him with a small smile. "Sorry Dex I just have a lot on my mind."
"Care to talk about it?" Dex offered and glancing at him Alexis could tell he was serious.
"You really mean that don't you." Alexis muttered in amazement. "Thank you but no… it won't do any good."
Taking the plunge Dex ignored the flashing red warning sign and ploughed right ahead as if she hadn't spoken. "It's not Blake is it?"
Stalking over to her desk Alexis chose to sort her paperwork rather than answer.
Concerned by her evasiveness Dex followed her watching her closely. Leaning down to try and catch her eye Dex sighed at her avoidance and caught her chin when she continued to avoid his probing gaze, lifting her face up to meet his.
"Hey…" He said concern clear in his eyes. "It's not because we danced together is it? Because I can talk to Blake…"
"Everything's fine. Blake's just on a trip and I miss him, end of story Dex!" Alexis snapped pushing his hand away; this was not something she wanted to get into now, especially not with him.
Stepping back Dex held up his hands in supplication. "Ok Alexis I'm backing off, hold fire will you, I've got enough to deal with without you dumping on me too!"
Sighing Alexis shrugged and slumped into her chair. "You're right I'm sorry, truce?"
"Truce." Dex accepted her gesture, lowering himself onto the opposite chair.
A knock at the door interrupted the tense atmosphere and a nervous Jerry appeared tea tray in hand. "Your tea Mrs Colby."
Rolling her eyes as her secretary continued to hover in the doorway like an uncertain hummingbird Alexis waved him inside, grimacing as he practically dropped the tray on the side table causing the silver service and china cups to clink dangerously.
"Do you need anything else Mrs Colby?" Jerry asked, yet much to Dex's amusement and Alexis's annoyance his attention was fixed solely on his boss's guest.
"Just leave will you…Oh and Terry I suggest you start clearing your desk." She added finally getting her secretary's attention as he frowned at her in confusion.
"It's Jerry Mrs Colby."
"I don't care!" Alexis snapped back and Dex had to stifle the urge to laugh as he could guess what was coming next. "You're fired."
Holding back his laughter until the poor young man had fled from the room Dex leant back against the back of his chair as his whole frame shook with laughter. "Good to see some things never change… Have you ever managed to keep a secretary longer than a week before firing them?"
Scoffing at his hysterical laughter Alexis stared down her pert nose at the laughing fool before retorting coolly. "Of course I have." Before adding gamefully, her lips quirking as tried to keep a straight face. "I do believe the record is two weeks!"
"So you said you needed to see me." Alexis started once Dex had composed himself, and that was the opening Dex needed.
Shifting forward in his seat Dex rubbed his chin. "I need your help Alexis. Monica is challenging my claim to Jack, she is using Sable's will in which she was named her brother's guardian."
"But she can't do that, you're his father!"
"Oh I know but she has. She's even managed to convince some Judge that I am a danger to my own son, she got a restraining order issued. I can't even go into the hospital any more!" Dex retorted rolling his eyes. "God save me from pigheaded, stubborn Colby women…Present company excluded of course." He added quickly when Alexis bristled at his throwaway comment.
"Monica's using the fact that Sable never named me as the baby's father, she even implied, not exactly subtly that she doubts I even am."
Paling as she could only guess who else Monica was pointing the finger at Alexis tapped her manicured nails against her glass desktop. "I see."
"I see…" Dex echoed. "Is that all you have to say? You do know who she is suggesting?"
"I can guess." Alexis snapped before adding. "I also know it to be impossible."
"You're certain?" Dex asked, desperation clear in his voice. "Sable did name him as an alternative guardian for Jack."
He had never expected to be a father, and he had never realised just how quickly his son could worm his way into his heart. The very thought that Jack might not really be his clenched his gut.
"You're really sure?"
Finding a smile at the soft almost desperate way he sought reassurance Alexis stood up and made her way over to the tea tray, pouring herself a cup and offering one to Dex, an offer he refused. Then instead of returning to sit behind her desk Alexis sank into the sofa.
"I know Blake Dex and I knew Sable, better than anyone, if that baby had been his she would have crowed it from every street corner and Blake would not have left that baby's side for one moment…" Alexis insisted and Dex fairly sagged in relief, perhaps that was why she added quietly. "Besides Blake promised me, they never slept together."
Sighing Dex felt like a dreadful weight had been lifted. Part of him had been dreading finding out the answer to that question, even if was able to force through the paternity test only for the result to come back negative.
"Thank you." Dex muttered meeting her gaze, he knew that revealing such private details about her relationship with Blake must be galling her, along with admitting to him that she obviously had questioned her fiancé about the true nature of his past relationship with Sable.
Stirring her tea Alexis was lost deep in thought. The first step would be to get the restraining order squashed, the second would be to petition for custody but all that would take time, there had to be another way…
"Alexis I need your help…I want my son but I don't even know where to start."
Taking a sip of her tea Alexis nodded, she had one or two ideas but she was going to need some help. "I might have a few ideas...Just give me a couple of days alright?"
"Thank you." Dex replied huskily his dark eyes locked on hers, drinking her in as she sipped at her tea; it seemed like an age since they had been alone together, no jealous Blake hovering like a black cloud and Dex was enjoying the opportunity just to relax in her company.
The buzz of Alexis's phone interrupted the comfortable silence and she sashayed across the room to answer it.
"Oh is that time already…No don't send her up I'll come down. " Alexis muttered into the receiver before setting it down and turning to Dex. "Sorry Dex but I have to rush to another appointment."
Getting to his feet Dex waited as Alexis picked up her fur and her Chanel clutch bag offering her his arm. "May I escort you down Mrs Colby?
Sliding her hand into the crook of his elbow Alexis laughed at his courtly behaviour and allowed him to usher her out of the office and towards the waiting elevator. "I'd be honoured Mr Dexter."
---
Sitting back in her chair Fallon ran her hands through her hair. "Thank you Jean-Pierre…Yes I look forward to seeing you again…Perhaps in the spring? Au revoir!"
Setting the receiver back down with a little more force than necessary Fallon cursed under her breath. She had been certain her Father would be in Paris, that was where he had had his initial meetings with the Chinese after all. When she hadn't been able to find him in Hong Kong, Paris had seemed like the obvious alternative.
Flicking through her Filofax Fallon pondered where to try next. Circling the numbers for The London Ritz and Eden au Lac in Zurich she wondered if she had enough time to try both before her staff meeting.
Glancing at the clock Fallon quickly realised she only had time to call one and dialled the international operator. "Can you put me through to the London Ritz…Yes I am happy to hold."
---
"I hope your daughter will be happy here Mrs Carrington."
"Thank you Principal Evans. I am sure she will settle right in." Alexis answered the headmistress with a smile, unable to contain the thrill at hearing someone call her Mrs Carrington once again. "But I am not quite Mrs Carrington, not yet at any rate." She added as she matched the head's pace as they wandered through the school hallway.
"Are you sure you don't wish to leave Krystina here for the entire afternoon? She could dine with her new classmates."
"Thank you but no, we have grand plans for this afternoon. We are joining her sister, my daughter Fallon Colby for lunch at The Carlton and then we have some shopping to do."
"An exciting expedition." Principal Evans answered with a small smile the ringing of the school bell interrupting their walk. "Shall we go pick Krystina up from her classroom?"
Nodding Alexis followed Principal Evans through the corridors and the stream of girls who filed out of the classrooms. Within a few minutes they were at Krystina's classroom and Alexis was relieved to see a blond head surrounded by a gaggle of other girls who were chattering excitedly.
Catching Alexis's eye Krystina waved at her before turning to say goodbye to her new friends. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Is that your Mother?" One of her new friends asked whispering in excitement as she glanced back at Alexis. "She's very beautiful."
Smiling Krystina gathered her coat and satchel together, turning to look at a waiting Alexis who held out her hand. "Yes…Yes she is."
---
Part 5:
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Resisting the urge to kick the useless limousine Alexis scowled at the stuttering driver who all but quailed under Alexis's glare.
"I am sorry Mrs Colby…I only noticed the knocking noise on the way into town from picking up Miss Krystina and…"
"And you didn't think to pull over and check why?" Alexis snapped her normally alabaster face flushed with anger. "You just thought you'd wait until we were a few miles away from town and the engine all but blew up?"
"I…I."
"Oh forget it, I don't have time to listen to your excuses. I have to phone my couturiers and try and explain why we won't be able to make our meeting." Alexis spat reaching for her car phone and jabbing the numbers into it for the operator.
"Why don't you see if you can do something useful and flag us down a taxi? Or even a passing bus, anything is better than being stuck on the side of the road! We're not far from The Carlton surely there must be some passing traffic?" Alexis spat and the shaking driver jumped to follow her orders.
"Does this mean we won't get to go to the dress men?" Krystina pouted, far more put out at having to miss out on her secret treat, why couldn't the stupid car have broken down earlier, like whilst they were still at The Carlton?
Pausing as she waited for the operator to answer Alexis favoured Krystina with a sympathetic smile. "I don't know darling, but we will certainly try!"
Hearing the tone click and the schooled tone of the operator in her ear Alexis didn't even realise rescue was at hand until a smiling amused face appeared at her window, rapping his knuckles on the window.
"Are you Damsels in distress?" He asked in a drawling tone, delighted when Alexis turned to him in surprise, winding down her window a relieved smile lighting up her face.
"Dex!"
---
Alone in his hotel suite Blake Carrington paced. His thoughts refused to order themselves, bubbling over and over. Visions of Krystle's hopeful face overlaid memories of a sleep rumpled Alexis smiling at him, those beguiling emerald eyes inviting him back to bed.
He had tried to stomach dinner, yet in the Michelin starred food turned to ash on his tongue and settled heavily in his belly, causing it to ache. So much to the astonishment of the waiting staff he had barely touched his food and only drank one glass of his thousand dollar Pétrus before leaving the restaurant.
Yet even when he was alone in his room Blake's unease continued and he resigned himself to yet another night without sleep. He imagined that this would continue until he came to a decision, and a decision he had to make.
Should he tell Krystle the truth? Tell how he had finally taken her advice, that after a year of mourning her he had found the strength to try and move on. How he had found warmth and happiness in the arms of the most unlikely person, his ex-wife. How Alexis had saved him from the abyss of loneliness and self-destruction; that if it had not been for her Blake would either have destroyed himself by now or be languishing in a prison.
How could he do that to Krystle? A woman who had always been there for him when he needed it, and who needed him now. Krystle was innocent in all of this, she deserved none of this pain and yet she would be hurt if, no when, the truth eventually came out. And Krystina, didn't she deserve to have a happy family to grow up in, to spend as much time with her Mother whilst she still could?
Yet that would mean letting Alexis go.
Clenching his fists Blake felt his heart constrict. It wasn't logical, he couldn't even explain it, on the surface he knew what he should, what he ought to do for the best; but the thought of loosing her again caused him physical pain. He couldn't loose her and yet he couldn't see a way of keeping her either.
Right now he just needed to hear her voice, she felt so distant it was almost as though that part of his life was slipping away, as if the Blake Carrington that she had helped to rebuild was crumbling away until only the façade remained.
Reaching for the phone Blake dialled the international operator and a moment later his call was connected and he heard Gerard's voice.
"Good Afternoon Mr Carrington."
"Hello Gerard is Mrs Colby in?"
"I'm sorry sir but it is Three O'Clock Mrs Colby is still at the office."
Shaking his head Blake wondered just when he had gotten so mixed up he had forgotten to adjust for the time difference. "Thank you Gerard. Tell the family I am fine and should be home soon."
"Any message for Mrs Colby sir?"
Sighing Blake fingered the phone cord a feeling of icy resignation settling in his stomach. What could he possibly say, tell Gerard to tell Alexis he loved her, that he was sorry, that he missed her?
"No...No message." Blake replied softly. "Thank you Gerard." He added setting the phone down, the silence of the room pressing down on him, even more oppressive than before. He had a decision to make and it was time he stopped avoiding it.
---
"I cannot believe you talked me into this." Dex muttered gratefully accepting the glass of champagne from the hovering assistant and sinking further into the sofa as two outrageous queen's of fashion doted on Denver's unofficial Queen of high fashion.
"If this is the reward for rescuing damsels in distress I might consider turning in my hero's license!"
"Oh Dex stop sulking. You should be honoured we agreed to let you into our inner sanctum in the first place." Alexis retorted taking a glass of champagne for herself before returning to give her couturiers her full attention.
"Now gentlemen today I want you to turn your creative genius not on my wardrobe but on my newest daughter…Krystina. She needs everything and she can have whatever she wants!"
Beaming as she found herself the sudden centre of attention Krystina bloomed under the combined attention. Her delight only increasing as the two designers began to order their minions about telling them to bring colour charts and fabrics to hold up against Krystina's face.
Whilst this was happening an assistant came forward with a sketchpad and was waved over to Alexis, presenting her the sketches.
"The preliminary sketches for your wedding dress Mrs Colby." The young assistant explained handing them over.
Finally finding something interesting Dex leant forward, peeking over Alexis shoulder as she opened the book.
"No…No…Definitely not." Alexis muttered as she flicked through the pages.
Smirking as he caught sight of a particularly slinky number Dex commented. "I rather like that one."
Snorting Alexis retorted. "I'll tell Jacques and have him run up one in your size."
"Somehow I think it would look better on you." Dex drawled.
"Hmm perhaps ten years ago." Alexis added turning to the next design. "Now that has potential." She muttered admiring the open neckline, long flowing sleeves and bias cut to the skirt.
"Very classy."
"But the colour is wrong." Alexis muttered tapping her finger against her chin.
"How is white wrong?"
Rolling her eyes Alexis bit back a retort about Dex's extensive knowledge of fashion, or lack there of. "Dex darling I have been married four times, I have four children, four grandchildren that I know of, and I am about the remarry my first husband I think the jig is up!"
"Jacques." She called out attracting one of her designers. "I love this design but the colour is completely wrong…I need something classic, not bold or overpowering but still colourful."
Ummm and ahhhing Jacques tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Violet…No Lavender…Or something in between."
"And white for the bridesmaid." Alexis added nodding towards a beaming Krystina. "With plenty of flounce in the skirt."
"An unusual but striking idea…Tie them both together with a sash the same colour as your dress."
"And we have ourselves a theme." Alexis answered for him, opening her arms as an excited Krystina practically bounced onto her lap.
"Can I have a proper princess dress and everything?"
"Whatever you want." Alexis answered gently pressing a kiss to the girls forehead before releasing her back to the waiting designers. "Make sure you tell them what you like, only the best for a Carrington remember Krystina!"
Marvelling at the gentle way Alexis encouraged Krystle's child Dex leant back in his seat, a thoughtful expression on his face as he stared at her. Finally becoming aware of his scrutiny, feeling the weight of his gaze, Alexis looked up from the design, an eyebrow quirked questioning.
"What has you so deep in thought Mr Dexter?"
"You."
"Me?" Alexis asked, a tinkling laugh escaping as she accepted a refill of champagne. "And what prey tell me is so fascinating?"
Shaking his head Dex pondered whether or not to answer. He had spent years trying to fall out of love with her and just when he thought he had finally gotten her out of his system, something happened; perhaps it was a phrase or a sudden moment of insight and he caught sight of another fascinating facet of her personality and he found himself hooked once more.
Drawn in like a moth to a flame, and his heart swelled just being near to her. He knew now he would never be rid of his love for her, even if he moved on and loved someone else he would always love her best…
It was a failing they both suffered from.
"I have never seen you like this?" He finally answered when she began to get impatient.
"Like what?"
Swallowing a gulp of his champagne Dex tried to wash away the bitterness he could taste, it was now clearer than ever to him that despite all they had shared he had never been able to more than briefly touch the woman beneath the Alexis Colby persona. Yet Blake Carrington had only to beckon and she was there, prepared to take on her rival's child to love like her own because it would make Blake happy.
Suppressing the spike of jealousy Dex smiled sadly answering softly as the truth finally hit home.
"Truly happy."
---
Part 6:
---
Standing before the full length mirror Blake carefully knotted his tie, trying to ignore the way his hands shook. Fatigue was part of the problem undoubtedly, another sleepless night tossing and turning in his alien bed, certainly hadn't helped. Yet Blake was certain they shook equally from the knowledge of what he was about to do.
What he had to do. He had made his decision, it was the only one he could make and still live with himself.
Besides Krystle deserved to hear it from him.
Hearing the buzz of his telephone Blake crossed the room quickly, picking up the receiver and grunting a reply as the reception informed him his car was ready and waiting.
Striding towards the door Blake caught a glimpse of his moving reflection, and for a moment he didn't recognise himself. It was almost as if another Blake Carrington had stayed behind in Denver, and right now was probably snuggled up in bed with Alexis snoozing on content and oblivious in his cosseted ignorance.
The master of his own fate and destiny, at the peak of his own power with a partner who could match him for cunning and ruthlessness. A harder, yet in many ways a more dynamic man than Blake had felt for years. Alexis brought out another side to him, whereas once he had been preparing himself for retirement, he had begun to relish the new opportunities that came with having a future wife as rich and business focused as Alexis.
A man forged by the combined pressures of grief and desperation, who searched for something to cling to; to give his life back some sense of purpose and he thought he had found that purpose in his family, his empire and Alexis.
It was a far cry from the man he had been with Krystle.
The softer, in some ways older gentleman that Krystle's warmth had nurtured. The man who had been able to look past what was necessary to what was right. A man who had slept sound in his bed safe in the knowledge that he always did the right thing, who had been able to break down the emotional isolation that the loss of his first child and the betrayal of his first wife had cast him into. To reconcile and build stronger relationships with his children due to her uncanny knack of making him look at the situation from another's angle.
If Alexis had rescued him from depression and jail, Krystle had ensured there was a decent man there to salvage.
As the elevator doors closed Blake took a deep breath and tried to breath out his lingering indecision. He could only hope it would be easy to find the words he needed.
Yet as he strode through the lobby Blake couldn't shake the nagging doubt that it would be anything but easy.
---
Twisting and turning in her large empty bed Alexis grasped the sheets in her fists; her beautiful face contorted in horror caught in the grip of a nightmare. Yet this time there was no Blake to ease her out of it, to wrap her tightly in his arms and kiss her brow, whispering that it wasn't real that she was safe here with him.
Instead Alexis was locked in the dream, terrorised not by falling and the torment of another's pain; but by chasing shadows and taunting voices. Voices' that sounded eerily familiar as she raced round a dark maze, trying to catch up with Blake who she was certain was just in front of her; the taunting words echoing in her ears..
"You'll never get him back..."
"He's mine now Alexis even if I have to take him to the grave with me..."
"He doesn't love you...He never did."
"You're just convenient cousin!"
"Blake!" Alexis gasped out loud sitting up in bed panting as the nightmare lingered before her eyes her hands outstretched as if she could grasp the imaginary Blake and pull him close.
Her whole frame trembling she reached over and switched on the lamp on her bedside table. The nightlight banishing the shadows and yet Alexis couldn't shake off her terror.
Perhaps it had been her own fault for going to bed so early, disrupting her normal routine; having read to Krystina she had begged off an after dinner drink with the children claiming a raging headache.
Yet if she were honest heartache was nearer to the problem. Blake had finally phoned home, letting the family know he had arrived safely, yet still not saying where he was; but what worried Alexis was the lack of a personal message. She had even felt a small twinge of sympathy for Gerard as he had shifted awkwardly on his feet, facing down her incredulity that Blake hadn't even left her a number to call.
A miniscule twinge.
Rolling over to Blake's side of the bed she pulled his pillow into her arms, using it to blot the tears that lingered on her cheeks and inhaling his spicy scent that lingered on the fabric.
"Pull yourself together." Alexis muttered to herself trying to force the image of Blake fleeing from her from her mind.
"It was just a stupid dream it doesn't mean anything!" She added. "Blake loves you…He is coming home soon and you'll be getting married. These are just ghosts and shadows they aren't real…They aren't real."
Yet despite her attempts to reassure herself Alexis couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere, something was going very wrong.
---
Walking into Krystle's room Blake felt a smile come easily as Krystle's eye brightened upon seeing him, a beautiful smile lighting up her own face.
"Blake."
"Hello Darling." Blake replied softly crossing the room and placing a chaste kiss on her upturned lips. "Did you have a good night?"
"Yes…I dreamed of you." Krystle replied softly pleased when Blake came to sit close by, taking her hand in both of his. Yet as he leaned forward she was concerned to see the deep bags beneath his dark eyes, and the way his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong." Blake answered, smiling disarmingly. "I'm here with my girl what could possibly be wrong?"
Frowning slightly Krystle inwardly debating calling him on the lie, knowing him so well she was certain he was being less than honest with her. Yet knowing Blake she also knew that if he was determined not to talk about something no amount of cajoling would get him to break his silence. He could be as frustratingly closemouthed as a lawyer bound by confidentially clauses when he wanted and experience had taught her to wait, eventually Blake would come around and would choose to confide in her about whatever was bothering him.
For now she would simply enjoy his company.
It seemed strange to her that she could see such changes in his face, extra wrinkles creased his eyes, he seemed thinner and his hair was lighter. Logically she knew time had passed, over a year she had slept, yet knowing this was one thing and seeing the physically evidence was another.
"Home..Did Doctor Muir tell you…"
"When you can come home?" Blake finished for her. "We did discuss it; the doctors need to keep you here for a few more weeks. There are some more tests and drug treatments…Physical therapy."
Blake broke off unable to meet her piercing gaze.
"Blake?"
Swallowing nervously Blake realised he couldn't put this off any longer. He had told the doctors he would do this and it was high time he told her the truth.
"Krystle there is no easy way to say this…So please could you bear with me and let me finish."
"Blake you're frightening me…What's wrong?"
Taking a deep breath Blake forced himself to meet her concerned gaze. "Darling the doctors found something when they were doing their tests. There is no easy way to say this…They found another tumor…"
Gasping Krystle gripped his hand, tears springing to her eyes, "No Blake…"
"Now I don't want you to worry about anything." Blake cut in, cutting off her frightened plea. "You'll have the best of treatment and Dr Muir is confident that drug therapy will help halt any growth, so you have to remain positive!"
"But Krystina…The family."
"Don't have to know anything." Blake added insistently. "Not if you don't want them to…Darling I'll be beside your side throughout all of this, every step I promise."
Shaken by the news Krystle leant back against her pillows. Closing her eyes as she fought for composure. She should have known that everything was too perfect, too much like a fairytale to be real.
Gripping Blake's hand as tightly as she could manage she opened her eyes slowly, aware of the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
Leaning forward Blake brushed them away with the backs of his fingers, stroking her cheek gently. "You will never be alone with this; I will be there right by your side."
"Thank you."
Krystle soft but heartfelt reply tore at Blake's emotions and he found himself fighting back his own tears. It hardly seemed fair that she of all people had to suffer so, when other people, people who had done terrible things himself included lived such a blessed existence.
"I mean it when I said you don't have to go through this alone. I'll be there for you, every step of the way. We'll fight this together." Blake insisted, finally approaching the heart of the matter, the decision that kept him awake that had haunted his every waking moment.
"I...I mean it Krystle and the only way I can think of to prove it to you..." He broke off getting down on one knee and gripping her tightly between his own. "I want to ask you to remarry me Darling, I don't care how long we have left, if it is not as long as we would hope for than we should treasure every moment...Please say yes."
Gasping in surprise Krystle's eyes filled with tears once more yet this time they were of a very different nature. Smiling at Blake she paused before answering her throat choked with emotion, touched beyond words by his gesture. There really was only one answer she could give...
---