Thanks to everyone for the reviews. I've got more than 100 now - which is amazing. Here is the next chapter (as promised) which picks up directly after the event of chapter 11. This deals with the aftermath of that; the rest of the family arrive and we learn a little bit more about Jasper's history with the family.

Chapter 12.

Jasper fled the house and went towards some trees in the distance. He needed to put some space between him and Bella; really between him and everybody. He couldn't think at all; his emotions were in turmoil and being around her hadn't been helping. He hated himself for the way he was treating her and he knew what he'd just done was about the worst thing he could do but if he hadn't run from her the chances were he would've hurt her more.

He went to hunt and spent the next few hours doing what came so naturally to him; killing; messy killing at that. He put passion into each kill and enjoyed the thrill of the chase; ravaging each prey he took down as he drained them one after another. He was covered in blood as he was only interested in the kill and took no finesse in what he was doing once they were dead; anything to try and stop the pain of what he was feeling.

Much as he wanted to he couldn't escape his thoughts and there was no relief from the emotions currently obliterating the teetering control he had. It'd been several hours by the time he gave up the search for food; it already felt as if he tried to drink anymore he'd drown anyway. He meandered back to the house but remained a far enough distance away from it so he wouldn't pick up Bella's emotions. He scaled the limbs of a tree and sat on an upper branch; his legs swinging from it as he stared at the house standing in its sparse surroundings. He lost all track of time; not reacting to night drawing in; unresponsive to the rising of the sun several hours later. He dropped from the tree almost twenty hours after he'd left the house and walked back towards home. He couldn't make himself go inside though; he could hear her moving around the building; making herself busy with doing something. Her emotions were all over the place and they hit him hard, leaving Jasper reeling from the strength of them but wallowing in the punishment they provided him with. He very nearly turned around and went back the way he'd come but he persisted and took refuge in Esme's garden.

He was still standing there when he heard the cars of the rest of the family pull into the driveway and then the noise of the removal truck appear just minutes later. He knew how frustrating it must've been for them to drive at the same pace as the humans and he knew they'd done it to give them some time alone together; otherwise they would've have been here many hours ago. Unfortunately he now wished they had been. He stood at the end of the garden and saw Rosalie and Bella walk from the house and then take off in the direction he'd come from just a short time ago. Her eyes met his and he saw the pain clearly on Bella's face; her emotions made him wince and he turned away from her; not missing the look of concern at them both from Rosalie. Just a few seconds later he was alone once more and the relief he felt was brief before anger towards himself swelled to astronomical proportions.

Jasper stood apart from the house, knowing his emotions were far too fraught for him to go back into the building and help them get the house in order. The doors opened again and he wondered who'd been brave enough to attempt to talk to him. His back was to the house and he made no move to turn around. A hand was placed on his waist and he knew it was his mother; there was no way he could disguise the flinch from her touch and he hoped she could understand he didn't mean anything by it. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly. He shook his head and pulled away from her again; moving through the garden and sitting on a wooden bench that was hidden from the house a little. She sat beside him and he could feel her staring at him. "You look a mess, Jasper. I can see something's bothering you, please tell me what it is?"

He looked down at himself and saw what she meant. He did look a mess; his clothes are covered in blood and dirt; blood from several different origins splattered across everything he wore. Revulsion hit him hard; he hadn't got in that much of a state in decades. He tried to clamp down on his emotions and build up some control because as each minute passed it slipped a little further away from him. "I've fucked up, mum." He looked at her as he realized what he'd said and sent her a look of apology.

She moved a little closer to him and put her arm around his shoulder, "Whatever it is, we can work it out, Jasper."

He fell to silence and thought about what he was going to say. It was quite a while before he spoke. "I did something I shouldn't have."

Esme brushed her hand through his hair and he moved willingly to rest his head on her shoulder. "Does this have something to do with Bella?" He nodded slightly and she kissed his hair. "She doesn't hate you, Jasper. Whatever you did, I'm sure she understands."

"I hate myself." He whispered.

"Do you want to tell me about it? You don't have to but it might make you feel better."

"I don't think I'm ever going to feel better about this." He was quiet and he couldn't keep still; there was so much tension in his system it was completely impossible for him to even try. His legs were twitching and his hands were clenching the wood of the seat. "This thing between us is complicated; I'm not sure it's going to work."

"You seemed so happy when we were back in Forks. Everyone saw it. You've never seemed so relaxed in the whole time you've been with us. Bella and you work well together. Don't beat yourself up about it, Jasper."

"I was happy and relaxed and you're right we work well together. Maybe that's part of the problem; there's too much chemistry between us."

"Too much?"

"I miss Alice. I want her here. She's been part of my life for sixty years; she's been my life ever since I've known her. In a way I'm not sure I know how to function without her being here. I know her and Edward wanted this to happen but I feel so guilty. All I'm going to end up doing is hurting Bella and that's the last thing I want to do. She's been hurt enough as it is."

"I still don't understand why you think there's too much chemistry?"

"We slept together yesterday; after we got here. I wanted it; she wanted it but then I ran away. I left her and ran off because I was too scared to tell her that I regretted what we did."

"Why?"

"Why did I run or why was I scared?"

"Both I guess."

"I ran because I could feel my control slipping; everything was too much to deal with so I ran."

"Why were you scared? And also why did you regret it?"

Her questions, as usual were pertinent and he knew she probably suspected the answers. "Afterwards…" he paused and tried not to notice the small smile on her face as he spoke, "I told her I loved her. I said it'd never been that way with anyone else and I wasn't lying. Everything I said to her was the truth. When she said she loved me back it made me think about what I'd just told her. It was something I didn't even want to admit to myself and I'd just told her."

"What?"

"That it was better with her that one time than it'd ever been with Alice; throughout the whole of our relationship. I just found it a lot more overwhelming than I thought I would. I could feel her emotions and they spiked after I said it and it just added pressure onto what was already a very pressurized situation. I needed to get away from her before I said something else that would end up hurting her."

"So you regret sleeping with her because it made you realize she could potentially mean more to you than Alice did?"

"Something like that…"

"Did it help?"

"What?"

"Running away."

"Not really." His whole body tensed as he absorbed what she'd asked him. He knew she was right; she hadn't said it but it was wrong for him to leave her like that and it hadn't made him feel any better doing so. His hand gripped the seat too tightly and he felt the wood snap beneath his fingers. He looked at Esme quickly. "Sorry, I'll get you a new one."

"A bench doesn't matter, Jasper. What matters is you and Bella work this out. In so many ways you're both like children to me and I don't want this to tear the family apart; we've already lost so much and I don't want to lose you both as well." She stared into his eyes and saw the turmoil within them. "You need to figure out a way to get past all this guilt, Jazz. Do you think Alice would've wanted you to feel like this? She wanted you to be happy and she knew how happy being with Bella would make you. Do you know how pleased they both would've been if they'd seen you the other morning? I liked seeing you like that; that's how I want to see you all the time because to see you like this is painful to me."

"That's probably my fault; I'm not really in control of my power at the moment."

"It's not you, Jasper. You're my youngest child apart from Bella and I know you're much older than me in actual years but you've always been my baby. When you hurt, I hurt. I don't like seeing you in pain like this and I wish I could make it better for you but I can't make your decisions for you. Only you can decide what you really want and you need to make that choice before you end up hurting her and hurting yourself."

"I thought I'd made my choice. It was what I wanted. What's the human phrase… 'you can't have your cake and eat it'. I think I tried to do just that and it's come back to bite me on the ass." He stared off into the distance; looking at who knew what. "I don't know how to get past my feelings for Alice. I wish I could turn them off like a switch because I know she's never going to come back and what I have with Bella could be so much more than that."

"Why haven't you told Bella that?"

"It's difficult to think about anything when it's just the two of us." He looked at her and she picked up what he wasn't saying.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about, dear."

"I'm not embarrassed. When it's just the two of us, everything feels so much more forceful; it's like our feelings are stronger."

"That should be telling you something." She looked back towards the house. "I see you saw the new wing your father and I added to the building after we brought it." Jasper nodded. "I created that space with you in mind; your father and I knew you would love the library room and the rest of it as well." She paused and looked at his face; her emotions confusing him slightly, "I never really saw Alice liking the rooms; it just wasn't her type of place but it suited you down to the ground." She smiled slightly, "It suits Bella as well."

"She loved each room too. She loves the whole house; she says you have a gift for decorating; but that wing is her favorite bit of it; well it was anyway."

"Maybe you should think about that too. I think I should get back inside the house and make sure Emmett hasn't broken anything."

They both chuckled and as Esme got to her feet Jasper reached for and grasped her hand. "Thanks mum." He said softly.

"You're welcome son." She said; smiling at him before walking back into the house. "Don't forget to clean up, Jasper." Jasper watched her leave and then sat and contemplated some more; knowing he had to talk to Bella and hoping she'd understand once he'd worked out what he was going to say.

-B-o-B-

Rosalie and Bella sat in the middle of a field that reminded Bella just a little too much of the meadow Edward used to take her to. They'd both hunted before they got here and she was glad they had because she'd needed to. Those couple of seconds when the removal van got closer had been unsettling and for the first time she doubted the control Jasper said she had so much of. Jasper. Her thoughts darkened again as she once more contemplated what'd happened with the man she'd loved so much just one day earlier. Rosalie must've noticed the change in her expression because she called her on it.

"Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Jazz?"

"Nothing, Rose."

"And now tell me what really went down…"

Bella thought about the question. Could she tell her the truth? 'I guess I could use a female perspective.' "We slept with each other." She said quietly.

Rose stared at her; a look of shock on her face. "So why was he sulking in the garden while you sulked in the house?"

"It wasn't quite what I hoped it would be." She said quietly.

"No way! I assumed he'd be pretty good in bed; actually I thought he'd be amazing. You know it's always the quiet ones. And all those emotions he feels; you'd think it would make him better than most." There was a smile on her face but it fell when she didn't get the same response from Bella.

"It was good."

"So what's the problem?"

"I'm not really sure. He ran out of the room so quickly after and I hadn't seen him since; that was over a day ago. The first time I saw him was as we were leaving the house."

"Do you know why he ran?"

"I think he regretted having sex with me… maybe I wasn't any good."

"I think you're wrong." Bella turned and looked at her in shock. "Bella, I've known Jasper for almost sixty years and believe me when I say I've never seen him as happy as he was the other morning with you. There's something else you might want to think about. He's shown you his scars, hasn't he?" Bella nodded. "Do you know how long it was before he showed any of us them?" This time her head shook. "It was over a year before he showed them to Alice. I think he wanted to but he always managed to find a reason not to."

"He's definitely one for avoidance."

"He's told you about his life, hasn't he? About when he first became a vampire."

"Yes."

"Alice told me once about when they first met; about what he was like."

"Can you tell me?"

"He was different to how he is now; he was depressed. Can you imagine what an empathic vampire that's depressed is like? He didn't believe her at first when she told him they were destined to be together but she persisted and he eventually came round to the idea and in time he fell in love with her. When they arrived at our house you could see they were in love with each other but he still held back from us. He hated being anywhere near us. I took it personally at first but when Alice told us about his gift I understood a little. She told us he'd only recently switched to our diet and he was finding it difficult."

"It's not like that, Rose. He doesn't find it as difficult as you all seem to think."

"I know but we didn't understand it then. Anyway after he became part of our family he still kept himself quite cut off from us all. None of us really knew anything about him. Edward was the first person to really have a breakthrough with him; it was probably easier for him as he could read his thoughts so it was more difficult for Jazz to keep things hidden from him. Edward was able to get him talking a little; he listened to him as well and eventually Jazz told him about his background; edited highlights really but it was something. He gave Edward permission to tell us his story and we were really upset when he did. It was difficult to imagine someone like him being involved in something like that. I still find it difficult to think of him that way. To me he will always be my brother; the sweet emotional guy who has a heart of gold. Yes, okay, he can be a little melancholy at times but there are times when he's a godsend."

"Like when?"

"Did Edward tell you about what happened to me before I was changed?"

"No. He was reluctant to tell me about any of you. He said they weren't his stories to tell."

Rose looked at her and then spent the next few minutes telling her about what had happened when she was still human; about Royce; about what she did to Royce and his friends after she was turned. By the end of the tale they were both sobbing in each other's arms. "There've been times since then when I've really struggled with what I did and what they did to me. Jasper has always been there to listen to me and to offer me comfort and understanding through it all. And he always took away my pain if I asked him to."

Rose's voice drifted away and Bella stared at her waiting for her to restart the story but she seemed lost in her thoughts. She knew she was going to have to prompt her a little. "You were telling me about him taking a long time to show you his scars, Rose?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about my dearest brother. I always loved the fact he and I were siblings in our story to the outside world because he's the person I would've wanted to be my brother." Her words and thoughts brought a smile to her face but she soon turned back to Bella with a serious expression on her face, "So, Edward was the first one he spoke to but it was Esme he really opened up to before the rest of us. Esme's the person he turns to if he's particularly bothered about something and she seems to know when he needs to talk because she'll go and find him. It was about six months after Edward had told us Jazz's history, so, I guess, about four years after they arrived at our house. We were living in Maine at the time and a small group of nomadic vampires came across our path; similar to James and the others in a way. They were from the South, like Jazz and I think they knew him; or knew Maria anyway and had therefore heard of him. For a few days Jasper left our house and went off with them; I think he was testing himself – or he was testing us. I'm not sure which."

"He never told me about leaving the family."

"He wouldn't. It didn't end well. He came back after five days away. He was different when he came back; back to how he was when he first joined the family. He came into the house and ran upstairs before any of us could speak to him. He wouldn't let Alice into the room; Edward neither so Esme went up to try and she finally managed to convince him to let her in. She was in there for almost two hours before she reappeared and for once we couldn't hear a word they said but when she came back down she was distraught. It took Carlisle ten minutes to get it out of her; Edward already knew; he'd heard her thoughts but he didn't say anything; it was as if he couldn't."

"What had happened?"

"He'd slipped. He killed a human; someone they'd come across when they were out. When Esme first said it we all reacted badly and he felt our emotions; our distrust and disappointment. It made him feel even worse. He began breaking things in their room but then Esme told us everything. The vampires he was with attacked a couple of hikers while Jazz was off hunting for something for himself. He had no idea what they were planning on doing but he stumbled back across them and tried to stop them from killing them. He fought them and he was doing well; he killed two of them easily but while he was distracted with them the third one killed one of the humans. Jasper went and tried to stop him but this one was a good fighter and it was harder for Jazz to kill him. In the ruckus that followed Jazz accidently caught the other human and knocked her to the floor. He killed the last vampire and then realized what'd happened to the hiker; she'd hit her head on a rock after she'd been knocked down and was dead. There was so much blood around and he succumbed to it; tasting the blood. As soon as he started to drink from her he knew it was a mistake but it took a while before he could get the vampire side of him to respond and stop, then he came back to the house."

"He must've felt awful."

"He did. Esme said he was inconsolable. She tried to hug him and comfort him but he pulled away from her and ran across the room. She told us he was shaking and he seemed in pain and she didn't know what was wrong with him. Carlisle went up to see him to make sure he was okay and he found the room torn apart; Jasper huddled in a corner. He was snarling and it was a long time before he would let Carlisle anywhere near him. It was him that first saw his scars. He found new scars on his neck and arm and when he cut his top off his body, he found the rest of them. He stayed with him; held him in his arms until he'd calmed down; I think that was the first time Jazz really let Carlisle close to him. It was a long time after that before he was the same again. His eyes remained crimson for a couple of months until they faded back to what they are today. Alice told the rest of us about his scars while we were downstairs but it was several more years before any of us saw them. He hates them; they remind him of what he used to be and what he could slip back to so easily. It's a huge thing for him to show you them and the other morning… he's never been like that before; you did that to him Bella. You made him like that and I want to see him that way again."

"I want him to be like that too. It's not me that's the problem, Rose. It's him that changed his mind. He doesn't want me."

"He does, Bella. I know he does. He just feels guilty because of Alice. Before he met her his life was a mess; he was barely surviving and she helped put him back together again. She gave him a life, a family to belong to and something to live for but I think it's you that can really make him live. I think you complete him."

Bella hugged Rosalie hard and soon she was sobbing again. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Rose."

"I know. I'm sorry about the way I treated you before. I was jealous because you had the opportunity to live your life the way I've always wanted to. I should've been nicer to you. I missed out on those weeks of having you as a sister."

"Thank you." Bella whispered before hugging her again. "We'd better get back to the house. There are some things I need to sort out." Rosalie smiled at her and they were soon running back to their new home.

TBC

A/N: So there you. What did you think? Did you the like the bit of back story? Please review. Next chapter soon.