Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto Shippuuden.

That night, Sai was not able to eat from worrying about the mission and Sakura's wellbeing. He found himself sitting in front of a fire he made outside the shelters, once in a while poking it with a long branch he found somewhere in the clearing. While alone-times during missions were reserved for his mental conditioning, Sai felt that he was just too mentally unconditioned to even start his habit. Thoughts of Sakura in Water Country, miles away made him worry, and the sudden disappearance of one of Taka after Kakashi just told them he did not receive a message that contained Sakura's whereabouts made it all the more suspicious.

There was a great possibility the message was intercepted…

He scowled. Although Kakashi had assured them that the Uchiha's left eye was completely blind, and his right eye's sight was almost close to zero visibility, he could not bring himself underestimate him. He had met and talked to the man several times when he was able to infiltrate Orochimaru's hideout, and had clashed swords with him only once.

The bastard was strong. And he didn't give a moment's hesitation to kill. That was probably one of the most dangerous aspects of all.

But then again, even if they somehow get to Sakura, Kakashi had assured him that Sasuke was not stupid enough to kill such a useful shinobi.

"It actually reminds me when Orochimaru sought out the Lady Tsunade to heal his hands after the Third damaged him," Kakashi had told him. "Team Seven and the Sannin… the uncanny resemblance just doesn't stop to amaze me…"

Sai was lost in his thoughts when Hinata came out of the shelters, two cups of something in her hands. He did not realize her until she had one of the cups inches away from his face.

"What are you doing out?" Sai asked her as he took the cup, discovering it was lukewarm tea.

"Same as you. Nothing." She sipped her drink and looked up at the sky. Though the village had quite a number of people living in it, there were hardly any lights on, and because of this, the star-splattered sky looked more than beautiful that night. "Are you worried?"

Sai sipped his drink, mimicking her. "Of what?"

"The mission. Sakura. Naruto. Sakura. Sasuke. Sakura…" She gave him a knowing look, a little smile. "You know, she isn't weak. She's probably the strongest there is in the batch."

"I know that." Sai scratched the left side of his chest uncomfortably. He was not used to talking to Hinata. Her eyes, those ivory-white eyes just seemed to look right through you even without the Byakugan activated. "I know that, but I'm still worried. Do you think that that's a bad thing?"

Hinata raised her eyebrows, smiling ruefully. "I don't know if it's good or bad, but I do know it's normal. I worry about Naruto all the time, even when I know he's strong. And very lucky."

Sai eyed her skeptically. "I don't believe in luck."

Hinata laughed. "Or so I heard you say to the Fifth. Naruto's different. He's just… lucky."

This made Sai go silent. He was not going to argue with Hinata about luck or the lack of it. He kind of liked the Hyuuga, though majority of the time she stuttered when she was unsure of herself, and the way she twiddled her thumbs uncomfortably when someone was looking at her. It was weird to see her talking to him comfortably. He decided it was all Naruto's doing.

Poking the fire, he asked, "You never told Naruto of Sasuke?"

Hinata instantly shook her head. "Even if the Hokage didn't order me to keep it from him, I don't think I would have been able to tell him that the Fifth has decided to cross the line between capture and terminate. Naruto…" she looked down at her feet. "… has a soft spot for Sasuke Uchiha."

Sai held the cup between his hands, warming his palms with it. "Have you ever been friends with Sasuke?"

Hinata smiled grimly. "Sasuke doesn't have many friends… He was always alone, and brooding. I guess that's why many girls in our batch liked him. He was just so… unattainable."

"Did you like him then? Or maybe, hated him?"

This time, Hinata blushed, and she began to stutter. "I-I… to be honest, I ne-never really noticed him that much… He seemed to always pale to Naruto in comparison. Naruto was always loud, and he did lots of mischievous things that were probably his desperate attempt to get everyone's attention…" She hid behind her cup of tea, embarrassed. "He didn't need to do it, though. He already had my attention even when he was just eating a bowl of ramen… "

Sai scratched his chin, drained his tea then placed the empty cup by his feet. It was not unbelievable to know that perhaps Hinata was the only one who didn't fawn over Sasuke when they were young. "I don't doubt it. Naruto is Naruto after all." This was probably something he and Hinata had in common. Probably the only thing they would have in common. And probably that was more than enough for a friendship.

"You have to teach me how to make rice balls," he offered, when they ran out of things to talk about.

Hinata brightened. "Of course. I'd love to."

The conversation ended with that, but the silence that followed was not uncomfortable. It was easy to be quiet with Hinata.

They were content with saying nothing when Akamaru suddenly dropped from nowhere, three laughing kids riding his back. Hinata and Sai were on their feet when Kiba landed in on them beside Akamaru, another little boy on his shoulders.

"Sai, help me!" Kiba called, panting and laughing at the same time. The kid on his shoulder was pulling on his hair roughly. "I've been giving them piggy-back rides, but there's just too many of them!"

And as if on cue, a few kids, probably the ones who didn't have a curfew, streamed out of the shelters noisily. They crowded around Akamaru and Kiba, begging for their turn.

Hinata backed away, a bit overwhelmed.

Sai, grinning deplorably and somewhat feeling a bit generous, took out a scroll from his backpack, slid out his brush and inks, and painted a number of large butterflies, probably unintentionally thinking of Sakura and her request for a tattoo.

Releasing his jutsu, a dozen or so butterflies the size of watermelons fluttered wistfully into the air. The orphans "ooohh"ed and "aaah"ed and the tiny crowd started to break away from the very tired Kiba and Akamaru. They split up in several groups, each to hunt their own butterfly.

"I owe you one," Kiba said, brushing his pants and jacket. "Haven't been that overpowered since Akamaru's mother gave birth to a litter of twelve."

Sai tilted his head to the right, and was about to say something when he felt the hairs at the back of his neck start to prickle again. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed a dark figure standing by the garden behind the shelter. The figure moved into the light and Sai's breath caught in his throat. Yue Matsunaga was once again scrutinizing him from afar.

Sai frowned. He did not know what the man wanted with him, but he was going to find out. The last thing he wanted was to get stalked throughout the whole mission. He gathered himself and approached Yue.

"Wait," Sai called out when the man tried to back away into the shadows. "I just want to talk."

Yue, with all the bandages and long robes, looked hesitant but did not leave. The long dark hair on top of his mummy-like head fell onto that one eye that observed Sai cautiously, like a deer at gunpoint.

Sai stopped a few feet away, just in case the man brandished his claw at him again. With his mood, he didn't feel like fighting. "Good evening," Sai started, as he read in a book that it was always better to start a conversation with a polite greeting.

Yue was ever-vigilant. "Good evening," he said shortly.

And they were silent. This was, perhaps, a bad idea after all, Sai thought. Perhaps if he were someone else, he would have been able to continue with the conversation. But he was just Sai…

After what seemed to be like forever looking at each other, warily, Yue raised his hand, making Sai almost reach for his tanto. He paused in mid action when he saw Yue was unarmed. Instead, his bandaged hand was pointing to the shelters. "Come with me."

Paranoia hit Sai like a freight train. This, he supposed, was a normal emotion to feel towards a man who had nearly tried to strangle him once. He nodded in acknowledgement and he followed Yue inside the building.

The two were silent, with only the soft swish-swish of Yue's robes against his legs and the floor. Sai caught of a whiff of the man when he passed him. He smelled like ointment and burning tea leaves. Sai wrinkled his nose from the smell.

The shelter's long corridor was dimly lit, and some doors were closed, while some thrown carelessly open. Sai could see from the windows the children outside, still in deep pursuit of his butterflies, Kiba and Hinata supervising them. When he turned around to follow Yue, his sight was instantly drawn to the walls.

Ino's voice rang in his head: "I wanted to ask you about a painting I saw in the shelters where we took the boy you rescued…"

Sai's eyes narrowed. The halls, he saw, were peppered with crude drawings, all inside cheap-looking wooden frames. He approached the nearest drawing of a fallen apple on a patch of grass. It looked like it had been drawn with crayons. Sai touched the frame and paused when he saw a small plaque right under it. It read: Free-fall.

It was a title.

He moved onto the next. It was a drawing of a window overlooking a garden and it was raining. The plaque under it said: Monday.

The next drawing, and the next, and the next, they all had titles that did not seem to have any evident connection to the portrait. All of them looked like a child with a good enough imagination had drawn them.

Yue appeared beside him, and Sai almost jumped. The man was quiet, too quiet, that Sai really wondered if the man hadn't been a former shinobi.

"Did the children make these?" Sai asked.

Yue, for the first time, avoided looking at him. "He loved to draw, that boy."

Sai paused. "A boy?"

Yue took a deep breath, the bandages rattling on his face. Sai did not have to make such an effort not to look at him. He made Sai… uncomfortable for some reason. "The boy was hardly a year old when I took him under my care. He was left to us by my friend who wanted to travel the world for inspiration."

"Inspiration, you say?"

Yue glanced at him, at his uniform, then started to move. Sai did not know what made him follow, but he just did. The man led him towards the room at the end of the hall, right beneath an open skylight. With spot lamps flanking it on either side was an enormous painting of a beautiful lady in white. She had a hairless bundle of a baby in her arms.

Sai stared at the woman hard, as if trying to decipher the color the artist used for her hair. It was a shade of dirty blond that Sai believed he hadn't tried to use before.

"This was a portrait of that friend's wife and the child who drew all those pictures on the locker walls."

Sai forlornly glanced at Yue, whose hands were pretty shifty beneath his robes. Sai's hands itched for his weapon. "Where's the child?"

"Gone. Taken, fifteen years ago."

"Taken?"

"By people wearing porcelain animal masks." His eyes shifted to Sai's body, then away. "And wearing clothes that you are wearing."

Sai felt his brow furrow. This was not news to him. He knew ROOT always tried to recruit them young, because they were easier to break that way. But they did not take people away without a reason. "What can he do?"

Yue's hand suddenly plunged into his robes. Sai jumped back a step when the older man withdrew something long and thin from his breast pocket. A paintbrush. His other hand stretched forward, and from his sleeve shot out a few feet of yellowish scroll. With a quick flick of his wrist, he let the brush kiss the scroll, and with a very painfully familiar silent hand sign, a dozen small dragonflies burst into life, some buzzing around Sai's ears before darting out of the open window to join the butterflies and the children. "He can do what I can do, because I had taught him."

Sai froze then and there.

If there was something he had learned from ROOT, it was to discard unnecessary feelings and emotions that would not benefit a mission. He had lived all his life as a tool for the Foundation, and lately he had discovered he was capable of feeling, and he was already having enough trouble as it is. Not that he was regretting anything about it, because he had discovered something with someone he did not know he could ever feel in his life.

But it still did not stop him from feeling utterly inefficient in battle.

And then here was a stranger named Yue Matsunaga proposing that he, Sai, who did not exist at all except for the purpose of a mission, and the purpose of loving a woman named Sakura Haruno, could actually have a past.

Sai didn't need a past. He was already having a hard enough time with his present as it is, and he was just too busy worrying about his future.

"She has your eyes," Yue offered when Sai didn't say anything.

Sai grimaced at the painting of the woman, and felt his stomach churn violently when he saw that Yue was right.

Then he remembered something Sakura's mother had told him when they first met.

"You have nice eyes…"

Sai distractedly wiped his nose, then he turned away. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I can tell. Your scent, it's weak, but I can smell you. Parchment and charcoal."

Sai lashed his hand at the man, making him back away. "I have no past. I have no future. No name. No existence. I am nothing. And I am not that boy."

He did not wait for Yue to challenge him. He up and left the shelter through the window, and spent the evening in one of the abandoned windmills, drawing a hundred little butterflies. He saw Hinata trying to look for him, and he guessed she already knew where he was with her Byakugan, but as always the understanding teammate, she decided to leave him be.

Sai felt his head ache from thinking too much.

Sakura whipped the fisherman's hat she had on her head and looked left, then right, looking for a sign of red hair in the crowd. She wished Sai had trained her better at tracking, because she knew she was sucking big time at the moment. The weights strapped to her ankles were dragging her down, and if they weren't given by Sai himself for her speed training, she would have discarded them already.

She decided to try her luck and went down the docks in a hurry. There were several fish stalls in the corner, and boats were lined in the pier, masts pulled down. She scanned the water. There was no way she could have escaped via boat.

"Sasuke was right. You are a weak tracker."

Sakura whirled around when she heard the voice speak from somewhere behind her.

Karin, her flaming red hair, those piercing bright eyes behind oval-shaped glasses, was on top of one of the abandoned fish stalls, her arms crossed over her stomach. She was eyeing Sakura cautiously, as if waiting for her to make a move.

"Where is he?" Sakura demanded. She did not realize she had pulled her leather gloves from her back pocket and were pulling them on. "Where is Sasuke?"

Karin leaped down from the roof of the stall, spreading her arms in front of her, as if to tell Sakura she wasn't armed. "I came to give you some intel on Sasuke."

Armed or not, Sakura found herself reaching for a kunai from her concealed pocket of her right pant leg next. "Why?"

Karin warily eyed the kunai in Sakura's hand. "Because he needs your help…"

Sakura's eyes narrowed at her, and she was already bracing herself for an attack. Once a snake, always a snake. And no one came more serpent-like than Orochimaru's bitch. "I don't believe you. What do you want from me? For someone who's capable of practically erasing her chakra to avoid detection, you willingly waltzed into my line of vision, as if you wanted to be followed."

Karin was watching her face this time. Sakura was aware that the woman was also skilled in reading emotions of a certain person by watching their fluctuating chakra. And it was obvious Karin didn't like what she was seeing in Sakura. "He's almost blind, Sakura. And he's sent me to look for you. And that's the truth. We deliberately tried to get spotted in the Fire Country, thinking that your team would be the one sent to look for us, but your Kage seemed to have concealed information about your former teammate from you."

"Lady Tsunade mentioned nothing about Sasuke for the past three months! You're lying!" Sakura started to bite the insides of her mouth. This made Karin smile. Sakura scowled. She was starting to become nervous.

"Look, this isn't my cup of tea either, because I don't think any girl would want another girl coming even twenty feet near the man that they love. But Sasuke needs you. He's cocky that way, and I think he's overused his Mangekyo Sharingan one too many times. That idiot Kabuto would have been the best chance we'd have had, but he's off shedding his snake skin somewhere unknown."

When Sakura inched towards her, Karin was instantly back on the roof of the stall. "Look, we don't have any other choice. It's either you're in or you're out. If you want to help Sasuke, come to the western dock at midnight. We set sail back to the mainland, and I'll take you to Sasuke."

Sakura felt cold sweat bead her brow. This made Karin's smile widen. "And why do you think I'd want to help that traitor?" she spat out.

Karin, this time, bared her teeth at her in a coy, very much satisfied smile. She had won. "Because I know you would give anything to see him again, even for just this one time." She raised a hand and fluttered her fingers in a mock wave. "I'll be waiting." And she was gone.

After a few seconds, she knew why Karin suddenly made a hasty escape. In a whirl of smoke, Captain Yamato appeared out of nowhere, on his shoulders were two ladies, bound and gagged. Their kimonos were loosely fitted around a healthy amount of cleavage.

If it weren't for Yamato's expression, Sakura would have demanded what he was doing with young girls hanging around his shoulders.

"Where have you been?" Captain Yamato asked sternly as he unceremoniously dropped the two girls in a huge barrel of fish in one of the corners of a fish stall.

Sakura hurriedly concealed her kunai back in her pocket. The act did not come unnoticed by Yamato. "Nothing. I just thought that I saw someone I knew and… yeah…"

Yamato narrowed his almond-shaped eyes at her. "Someone on this island was willing to spend cash to get me occupied enough to lose you. Who was it?"

Sakura swallowed hard. She did not know what to say, and she was never really good at lying. She smiled at Yamato toothily. "Don't be too paranoid, Captain. Come on. We don't have much time. We have to deliver the money by nine o'clock or we fail the mission!"

She was either that obvious, or Yamato that perceptive. But the Jounin was grim as he followed her to the eastern dock. It seemed that after that event, he wasn't about to let her out of his sight.

It was not like Sakura to disobey orders from her captain, but that night, while they waited for the wife of Tsunade's friend to finish counting the fifty million ryo, she was already scheming in her head how she would be able to slip a hefty dose of sleeping potion into Captain Yamato's dinner.

And no one in the Leaf, aside from Shizune and Tsunade herself, could make a meaner sleeping potion than Sakura Haruno.

As expected, Sasuke Uchiha was elusive.

In the past two days, there were several times when they thought they had cornered him, only to discover it was a trap, where Hinata had once been caught in a genjutsu that left her crying and shaking uncontrollably. Their four-man cell was instantly reduced to three, and Hinata was forced to retire in the shelters. Sai had heard her cry out Naruto's name in her sleep and would wake up sobbing. Kiba would instantly be at her side to comfort her, saying things like, "Naruto won't die until he becomes Hokage," or "Naruto loves no one else but you." Sai never asked Hinata what she saw in the genjutsu. He did not want to know.

On the second day, Sai had sent hundreds of his ink mice to surround the perimeter of the many scattered hidden underground bases in Sound. He had a hard time concentrating because his thoughts kept on wandering to Sakura's wellbeing, and if not to her, to Yue Matsunaga's face and to the painting of the woman who had his eyes. Kakashi was very disappointed, though he said nothing, but Sai would feel his senpai's practical eye on him whenever he would fumble on his jutsu, and he would mutter an apology and he would try again.

Even though distracted, Sai was the one who made the most progress in narrowing down the possible whereabouts of his target but ran into a brick wall when one of Sasuke's teammates sent a hoard of real mice on his ink summons. He was forced to send ink snakes instead, and since they were easier to spot, they weren't just as effective.

Akamaru and Kiba had as much of a hard time with swallows carrying Sasuke's scent flying in a thousand different directions on the third day.

Though this brought Kakashi amusement to no end, it left Sai frustrated and a bit angry. It was as if Sasuke Uchiha was playing some sort of deranged game of hide-and-seek until the opportunity best suited him.

Sai dreaded that it had something to do with Sakura. The thought made him lose valuable sleep that night.

On the fourth day at noon, Sai found Kakashi reading his dirty book on a branch of a tree. The jounin did not look the least bit annoyed that they had spent three days being ridiculed by a half-blind man.

"You're not giving this your all," Sai accused his senpai silently as he watched the older man swing his leg back and forth on the branch.

Kakashi, not even a bit bothered that Sai was watching him with a stoic expression, acknowledged the former ROOT member with a wave, as if Sai had just asked him how the weather was up the tree. "What makes you say that?" Kakashi marked the page with a leaf.

"Because you haven't been giving concrete direction or suggestion on this mission and we've been running around in circles like fools for the past three and a half days. This performance doesn't match with your ANBU records."

Kakashi looked down at him. "First of all, you have no right to read my ANBU record. And maybe the bad performance is because I've gotten old?"

"You have gotten old, but that's just another excuse. You don't want to catch Sasuke Uchiha, do you?"

This seemed to have triggered something in Kakashi, because he leapt down from the branch and effortlessly landed on his feet in front of Sai. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sai lowered his eyes. He knew he was a hundred years too early to even speak up to this man, but still… "He was your student."

Kakashi narrowed that one eye at him. "Do you want to know the truth? Fine, I don't want to capture Sasuke. Why? Because he doesn't want to be caught. And if I don't catch him, I would have to be forced to kill him. And I don't want to do that."

Sai's eyes widened. "But the mission – "

"Don't you get it yet?" Kakashi cut him off, for once showing a bit of superiority. "If Tsunade wanted Sasuke caught, or dead, he would have sent Naruto and Sakura along with us. Right now, we're already playing his game, but that doesn't mean we have to lose it. We can find more clues on what he's up to, what and where he's going to go next. Tsunade knows what Sasuke wants, and that's his eyesight back. And the only ones who could possibly give it back to him is Tsunade herself, or her apprentice. And that's Sakura. The last thing Tsunade wanted was to give Sasuke what he wanted."

Sai cursed. Serves him right for trying to get briefed by a drunk woman.

"All the more we should stop him –"

kakashi bared down at him. "If you are so intent on killing Sasuke Uchiha, then be my guest. I won't stop you because it is the mission, after all. But the last of the Uchiha's blood will not be spilled in the last of the Hatake's hands."

Sai was outraged. It was as if Kakashi had deliberately passed him the responsibility that if they weren't able to capture the Uchiha, Sai was the one who was supposed to do the dirty work. "You're team leader," he pointed out weakly.

"And I am Naruto's friend," he countered. "I've tried to capture Sasuke many times before you got here, but I've failed as many times as I've tried. I cannot kill him. If I could, he'd already be dead."

Sai knew he was telling the truth, but Sai could not help but be taken aback once again, and he had the sudden urge to find Sakura and ask her about this certain feeling that was starting to bubble up inside his stomach. He was not yet familiar with this very torn feeling, of his love for Sakura, of his love for Naruto, of his respect for Kakashi, of his hate for Sasuke Uchiha, of his responsibility to his mission and to his Kage. He felt something hurting deep down his chest. And then he was more that just confused.

He was lost.

And Sakura was not there to help him.

"What do I do?" he asked Kakasi a bit breathlessly, demanding for an answer.

Kakashi was beyond words as he examined him. "… you were from ROOT, and you're asking me that?"

When Sai did not answer and instead just started to breath in and out deeply. Kakashi touched his shoulder. "What do you want to do?"

Sai brushed his hand away. "I want to snap Sasuke's neck with my bare hands."

"Why?" the older man asked patiently.

"Because the mission said – "

" – No," Kakashi corrected.

Sai's brow furrowed, and he searched for the answer in him, which proved to be quite difficult without Sakura there. He turned to Kakashi. "Because I hate him! I hate him for living his life without a care that Naruto and Sakura are suffering because of him. I hate that he betrayed the Village, and still everyone waits for him to return like a prodigal son, when he is nothing more than your average missing nin! I hate it that Sakura still has his picture in her room, and I hate it that Naruto still has his hitai-ate in his bag! I hate it that you can't kill him as ordered!" He searched for more things to say. He started screaming them when he did. "I hate it that I look like him, because it makes me feel like Sakura sees him in me when we have sex."

The last remark almost had Kakashi reeling, his cheeks someone red under his mask. "You have sex? You and Sakura?"

Sai didn't seem to have noticed him. "I hate myself because I'm nothing more than a replacement!"

And it was the first time Sai felt amazingly light-hearted after having exploded in front of Kakashi about so many things he wasn't able to tell Sakura or Naruto. And it was then did he realize that his frustrations weren't simply just about Sasuke, but with his teammates as well, and with himself, feeling the pressure of having to match up, but never really wanting to.

And he felt like he wanted to scream random words just to get the knotted emotions out of his chest. That was until he felt Kakashi's heavy hand land on his head gently.

Kakashi was eyeing him sideways, his expression anything but readable under his hitai-ate and mask. "You are not a replacement. You are Sai of Team Seven, friend of Naruto, boyfriend of Sakura. You are a Leaf shinobi. You are Sai. You may not have a past, but your life is being lived, and your future is promising. The mission is nothing to you because your friends and their feelings outweigh it. And if the mission would ever mean an iota of importance to you, it is because of your loyalty to your Village, and not out of your upbringing." Kakashi's eyes closed pleasantly. "I wish I had gotten to know you better. We would have been great friends, I do believe." He ruffled Sai's hair, making it stand on end. "But there would be more time for that."

Sai could only look up at him and blush. He unconsciously wiped at his nose when it started to itch annoyingly, making his eyes water a bit. He nodded.

The moment would have been something Sai would have thought he could cherish in the future.

Had a loud explosion coming from the shelter not suddenly ruined the moment.

Sai and Kakashi were instantly alarmed and the two bolted to a dead run towards the orphanage.

Kiba was the one who met them half-way. He was panting heavily, and a child was crying in his arms. "The shelter is burning black flames…! A-a-amaterasu!"

Kakashi cursed under his breath, and Sai watched as the older man pushed his hitai-ate off his left eye, which started to bleed red the moment he opened it.

"Sasuke is here…"

We just love cliffies! Bring in more cliffies!