September 7th, 2006

Okay, when I said "who knows, the night's still young" in my last posty-thingy, that was NOT a cue for the Sinister Six to show up in Times Square! Jesus, I spent 4 freaking days busting my butt to catch those guys, just chasing them around the city like a game of intense tag. And it was intense, because it you get caught you're not "it", if you get caught you're freaking beat down and potentially murdered in the most painful way that those megalomaniacs can think of...wow, that sounds just like the tag I played when I was five...rolls eyes

Well, my good people of New York City, the Six were finally apprehended thanks to...yours truly. Basically I went after Doc Ock first, because that guy has serious daddy issues that makes him one of the world's most deadliest men. Honestly, he's worse than the other five put together. Sure, his arms are freaky, but this whackadoo doesn't just endanger the city, he takes it to a global scale.

Electro's insane, especially after his last power upgrade. Thank God he's decided to stop wearing that lame starfish mask...though now I can't make fun of it anymore. sigh Oh well, guess I'll just have to find a way to cope with that. But this guy is seriously a few french fries short of a Happy Meal...he could blow up an entire city block without a sweat. He was the second down.

The thing I HATE about supervillains that are also geniuses are that they're so evilly smart--for example, the Six split up as soon as I found them all so that I couldn't go after one without letting the other five go. After I took down Ockie-poo and 'ol Sparky, I went after the Vulture. Come on, shouldn't this guy be in a senior citizens' home by now? I don't know how the man's still at it. What I did here was pure gold--I lassoed him up from the ground. He wasn't expecting this, and it was humiliating for him. All I was missing was a cowboy hat. I tied him up, fixing my webbing's setting to some extra-thick stuff, and, bada-bing! He was all set for SHIELD to come in.

Before I start off with the next little story, let me tell you about SHIELD and my old buddy Nick Furry. For those of you who didn't know, that was sarcasm. Nick Fury and I haven't ever seen eye-to-eye, as mister I'm-sticking-to-protocol doesn't see the good things that come from improvisation and moral judgment. He's so stubborn and thick-skulled, plus I don't trust him one bit. Why? Because if he got orders to take me down, he'd have no choice but to follow them. THAT'S why.

Jeez, it's easy to get off-topic on this blogging thing, isn't it?

Back to the Sinister Six...what a gay name...

Anyway, Mysterio isn't really hard to beat up...it's just getting to him. The man's got so many gadgets and special effects and whatnot that you can't ever get near him. But, one distracting remark about the goldfish bowl on his head, and he was out like a light. I feel bad for him, kinda. He's just a poor wittle actor without a life...or a career...well, now that he's a bad-guy, who the hell would hire him? Plus he's ugly. No one wants an ugly actor--look at Brad Pitt.

Well, let's see..that's two-thirds of the Six right theyre...who am I missing...?

Ah, Chameleon. This guy's just a pain in the butt; it's not necessarily about fighting him, it's about finding him.He's a weirdo from...not...America...and he's just got a bunch of cheap masks--that qualifies him to be one of my greatest nemesis-sis-sis-sis? Okay, I lied, he's not one of my biggest foes, but it's about how he uses his masks. That's how the other members of the Six got together, but the way--Mister Change-o right here dressed up like people with power in the justice department and walked them out the front door.

I told my old buddy Fury that this crap wouldn't happen if people just locked them up tight once I dropped them off. I asked for more info, since, y'know, I'd be doing all the fighting, and he just said that the government sees me as a rouge, not to be trusted. Well, that's just peachy, isn't? I was beginning to think that the government likes me.

After I kicked some ass(ooh, bad word) I headed over to look for the last member. I actually didn't know who this was, since Sandman's reformed and Kraven's dead.

Ooh boy, was I in for a shock.

Talk about a lovely surprise, Venom was chilling out there, just waiting for me. This guy's just plain weird. He's...he's weird, is what he is. First off, instead of saying normal words like "I" or "Me" he says gay crap like "We", as if the suit and him are two different beings. When I was behind the suit (and if you didn't know that, freshen up on my history before you read my damn blog. Sheesh!) I was in control...until it tired to control me and crush me to death. Long story short, Venom knows how to push my buttons. First off, I hate it when he gets the drop on me. Second, I hate it when he acts all gross and perverted, licking me and acting like he wants to eat me (come on, Venom, you are not going to eat me! Just quit it already!) He was my least favorite to fight, because he's just a bigger, uglier version of me...especially uglier...Needless to say I stopped him, just in time for Fury and his SHIELD goonies to show up and blame me for damaging public property while they took all the credit.

Well, there you have it. I spent 4 f-word-plus-"ING" days chasing the Sinister Six on little to no sleep, when once again not being credited for the positive actions I took to help the society that I live in.

Hey, that's how I roll.