Chapter 7.
They stood silently watching Victoria ride away and neither one moved until she was completely out of view.
Emily sat back down on the blanket while Nick remained standing. Emily looked up at him while reaching to start putting the food away. "Do you want more food, Nick?" she asked, not knowing that Nick always wanted more food.
"Hm? Oh. Oh, yeah," he said, distracted, and sat back down on the blanket, breaking off bite size pieces of bread and eating them. He was feeling a little confused and a little guilty about not watching the time more closely. Emily just felt guilty.
The silence between them was slightly uncomfortable until Emily asked softly, "Nick? What was your father like?"
"My father was an ambitious and industrious man of vision – "
"I know all that," she said, "I mean, what was he like as a father, as a man?"
Nick thought for a moment, staring down at an imperceptible speck on the blanket. "He was in control, the center of attention."
"He had natural leadership qualities, then," she offered.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that, "Nick replied.
"What would he be doing if he were here with us at this picnic?" she asked, feeling challenged by Nick's struggle to define the man he loved so much.
Nick chuckled. "Probably surveying the land around us and talking about ways to put it to use."
"Would he be able to simply sit and enjoy the wine, the sounds of the birds, the scent of pine in the air?"
Nick pondered that a moment then smiled at Emily, "Yes, but only if Mother was here to tell him to relax."
Emily smiled back at him. "Your mother is an extraordinary woman and I think your father was very lucky to have her," she stated and she meant it.
She stood and looked across the stream to the woods and then at Nick who watched her, giving her last comment great consideration.
"If you'll excuse me, please," she said. She walked to the edge of the stream, stopped, and turned around.
"Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"Are there bears in those woods?"
"Probably," he replied. There were bears in those woods.
"Oh, okay," she said, "Just checking."
"Just make lots of noise," he called after her.
She drew her skirts up and leaped across the stream and walked into The Magic Woods.
Nick smiled to himself, shook his head, and began packing up the remains of the picnic.
Emily did not encounter bears or any other ferocious wildlife in the woods but it was not for lack of offering ample time. Between carefully maneuvering the heavy skirt, the multiple petticoats, the wool breeches, and the pantaloons into just the right places and positioning herself just so, she considered the frightening possibility that Nick would tire of waiting and leave without her. Even more terrifying was the thought he might come looking for her.
She emerged from The Magic Woods to see Nick waiting for her, holding the reins for both Blackie and Coco, the remains of the feast having disappeared into the saddlebags on Coco's back.
On seeing her, Nick put his hands on his hips and called out that he was about to form a search party for her.
Emily blushed, leaped across the stream, lost her footing on landing on the other side and recovered quickly but got the back hem of her skirt wet.
"Sorry," she said, still embarrassed by the length and obvious purpose of her absence. Nick had taken a few steps towards her when she faltered so extended his hand to help her the few feet she had left to reach Blackie.
They rode awhile in amiable silence, Nick covertly watching Emily enjoy the scenery.
Nick broke the silence by asking, "What would your father say if he were here with us now?"
"Oh, he would be enjoying the air and the trees and making comments about how grand nature is," she replied.
"You're a lot like your father, then," Nick said.
She pondered his comment for a moment, then offered, "He's much calmer than I am."
Nick arched an eyebrow at her, "I would hardly describe you as high strung," he stated.
"My father has an inner calm and sureness which I am trying desperately to develop for myself." Emily wondered if she had revealed too much.
"You seem pretty calm to me," Nick said.
"Maybe," she answered. "Sometimes though I think my spine is made of floss." Good Lord, the man was easy to talk to!
"Huh." Nick scratched his chin. "Like when you're at a big party?"
Emily nodded and added, "Or meeting someone new."
"What's the trouble with meeting new people?" he asked kind of gruffly.
Silence. Emily had been shy since childhood and never grew out of it.
"I can't explain it," she said, "It just makes me uncomfortable."
Nick tried to think what it must be like to be shy but he couldn't. He had never been shy and no one in his family was shy. Well, maybe Heath, he thought. But Heath wasn't shy as much as he was cautious. Maybe, Nick wondered, it was the same thing.
"Is your father shy?" Nick asked, trying to understand this shyness.
"Shy? No. I would say 'reserved'"
"What else is he, besides a judge?"
Emily looked up at the blue sky between the high tree branches, forming her answer. "He is wise and kind and understanding. He loves a good philosophical discussion. He likes to take long walks. He smokes a pipe. And he loves Beethoven, red wine, and prime rib."
Nick laughed, "A man after my own heart, the part about prime rib!"
He continued to question her. "What about these brothers of yours, are they also shy?"
"No," she said, thoughtfully, "I don't think so. I wouldn't describe any of them as gregarious either. William is probably the most out-going."
"The lawyer in Cincinnati," Nick said to confirm this was the brother he thought she was referring to.
Emily looked at him and nodded, surprised he would remember such a detail.
"And all these men, your father and brothers, approve of you living alone all the way out in California?" Nick knew he wouldn't approve if he were her brother.
"Oh, I don't know that they approve," she explained, "I think they appreciate that it's my decision, my life." She added, smiling, "I think they may also be a little jealous."
"What would you do if you did go back to Ohio?" Nick asked, and immediately regretted posing the question, thinking she might take it as a suggestion and act on it. So, he added, "Live with your father, keep his house, and cook his meals?"
"Oh, no!" she laughed, "I'd have to fight Cook for the kitchen!"
"Open a lace shop?"
Emily became serious and said, "No. If I returned to Ohio, I would be expected to care for my father who neither needs nor wants my care. I would be bored making the same social rounds with the same people I've always known, and they would look on me with pity."
"So you stayed in California to meet new people even though that scares you," he said thoughtfully.
She laughed, realizing her own paradox, "Yes, I guess that's right – to have new experiences in new places and meet new people!"
"You know, "he said, "that's actually pretty brave of you."
Emily smiled. It wasn't the first time someone told her she was brave and she quite agreed with the assessment. It made her proud to think she was courageous.
They talked about Ohio, about her brothers and his, they compared childhoods in Ohio and California.
Nick avoided asking any questions about her husband, fearing she might become emotional, so he asked her about future plans and she told him about her hope to buy a house somewhere one day and grow fruit trees in the yard.
"What do you mean 'somewhere'?" Do you mean you're not staying in Stockton?" The thought had not occurred to him that she might move away.
"Well, I'm not committed to it," she answered.
Nick got quiet. It bothered him more than he realized that she might go away and suddenly it became very important to him to say the right thing. He became shy.
But it didn't last. After a short spell of silence, Nick turned and asked, "Where else would you go?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I'm telling you, there's no better place than this valley," he declared rather loudly and pointed to the ground.
"It's lovely here, Nick," she said, "Really. But there are other places . . ."
"Like where?" he demanded and stopped Coco. So Emily stopped Blackie.
"Like Oregon . . . "
"Oregon can't hold a candle to the soil and scenery of California!" He was almost shouting.
"Nick . . . "
"You'd be a fool to leave this valley, " he stated loudly. "Why, our crops and businesses are only just beginning! This is the perfect place right now!."
"I didn't say I was leaving, Nick." she explained. "Anyway, what do you care where I live?
"I don't want you to leave," he said with a soft voice, almost pleading.
Emily's eyes grew wide and she said, "Nick Barkley, are you sweet on me?"
"Yes, I am!" And now he sounded angry again.
Emily's mouth fell open just slightly. Had she truly expected him to answer yes, she would not have asked the question. This was stunning news to her: the idea that this cowboy brother of an acquaintance, the son of a benefactress of sorts, would be romantically inclined towards her had never crossed her mind and her thoughts raced back to their previous encounters and exchanges as she tried to review what she may have missed and if she had given him encouragement.
"Well, say something," he stated.
"I don't know what to say," she replied.
He realized he had caught her off guard. He spurred Coco forward, resuming their ride, knowing there was an open field not far ahead.
"Emily, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable" He said after a few minutes had passed.
"No, Nick. I'm sorry for my reaction," she countered. "It simply never occurred to me."
"That a man might find you attractive?" he asked.
"That you might find me attractive," she replied.
He shot a look at her, hoping for further explanation than that, but none came. The comment and the slight smile on her face gave him hope but he also knew she needed time to come back from grief, time to think about him.
As they cleared the forest, Nick nodded towards the open pasture and said, "Let's go!" and he and Coco took off ahead.
Emily watched him ride ahead, her heart and head trying to understand what had just happened. She knew she wasn't ready to be romantically involved but she remembered her father always advised his children to accept possibilities. She urged Blackie into a gallop to catch up with Nick who was waiting for her.
Riding cleared his head and he had formulated a plan: Continue what had developed into an easy friendship but persist slowly and steadily in his suit. And the plan seemed to work immediately in so far as Emily resumed the friendship without hesitation and the rest of the ride home was friendly and fun.