CS10

Moving from station to station, John had gotten a good idea of where he might transfer to, now in La Mirada, he appreciated the less congested streets. The station was brand new, just like 51; however the crew appeared to be a tightly wound bunch of guys. When he was in La Habra the paramedic gave him the thumbs up. Saying he could use a guy like him, three stations wanted him, yes this Christmas was going to be just what the doctor ordered.

"Well here's your bunk," Stan showed him where he would be sleeping the next three days. The man was a lot older and seemed more seasoned as he looked at Johnny.

"Thanks," John sat down on his bunk, he was lucky he didn't get a ticket on getting to the station. Checking maps the paramedic didn't realize how big Los Angeles County was. He felt he could drive his way around the county now without any problems. At least he wouldn't have much to move when he transferred. The extra money he made would come in handy as first and last month's rent.

"Lunch in ten," Stan said and walked away.

Rubbing his hands over his eyes, he realized he was tired. Four weeks didn't seem as long when you had days off in between. If he wanted he could work through January, since his name was now on the hot list. He had his shift mates fooled, laughing and even bringing in Christmas treats, okay donuts but it was all he had time for, but they didn't even appreciate them, the ungrateful bunch.

****

Even before he got comfortable the tones sounded. Gage climbed on the engine ready for the worst and steeling himself to keep his emotions in check. It was a small rubbish fire and the paramedic sighed with relief.

Going back to the station he was able to joke with his shift mates and found they had been together for a lot of years and theirs was a new station, the old one being turned into something else. He envied the tight bond between these men, afraid to get to close and get hurt. Feeling guilty he hadn't called Drew since he had become serious with a girl named Pam. Sure he had gone out with them but he felt like a fifth wheel.

"So tell me John where is 51 located," a man named George asked.

"Carson," John answered, not really paying attention.

"Wow, that's what about 25 miles away," Stan looked at him.

"Yeah, so?" John shrugged.

"Figure anything you made would be eaten by all the gas," Wally laughed.

"Well let me tell you something. I don't mind if a man can be with his family during the holidays, you know," Gage words sounded hollow.

"Oh, one of them types," George laughed.

"One of what types?" John could feel his cheeks turning red.

"Oh you got one of them noble personality, like you're doing us a favor if you work for us or something, that's what," the fireman laughed.

"No, I don't…." John clasped his hands together. "It's…well…it's just complicated k."

"Hey Gage take it easy huh. We're glad you're filling in for Mark, he's had a rough year," Wally patted him on the shoulder.

"Sure thing," Johnny smiled. "I understand besides I'll only be here three days right."

"Yeah and Christmas is pretty special, right Cap," George called to Winter.

"Yeah Gage all our families come and we have a turkey dinner, when we can of course, put up a tree and all that other jazz. Makes you forget you're working right guys?" Winter smiled reminded him of Cap Stanley.

Johnny sighed, wondering what Marco, Chet, Roy, Mike and Stanley would be doing on Christmas, it didn't matter, and he would be gone by January hopefully.

All day long, the tones never seemed to stop, but they were able to eat meals in peace just as tones sounded. Johnny enjoyed not having time to think, he was tired and his thoughts were getting muddled.

Captain Winter watched as his replacement really focused on doing his job, scratching behind his helmet, maybe which was the problem. As a fire fighter you needed to be focused but Gage seemed almost entranced by the fire, he could see when someone touched him did he move. He would have to pay more attention to Gage, wondering if there wasn't more to him.

The tones sounded as they went to another house fire. ON the engine, Gage watched as the paramedics went into rescue and see if anyone was in the old house. Coming out of the house they held an old woman, her eyes fixed and dilated, John already knew the answer.

Walking slowly to her John could see her under the street light and froze. Staring at her, breathing heavily he stumbled back and felt nauseous and lightheaded. Her hair was grayed, her features prominent, just like his aunt. His aunt, spun in his head.

Henderson rushed over. "You okay Gage?" The paramedic looked worried.

"Why don't you take him back to the squad," Winter suggested softly.

"I'm fine Cap," Johnny whispered. "Just fine." He tried to convince himself.

"Now you go with him, that's an order," Cap put his hand on the shaken man's shoulder.

Henderson quickly had him on oxygen and took his vitals.

"You okay John," Henderson smiled at him. "You don't look so hot, you know we can take a ride to Regional, you know."

"No, I'm fine," John tried to get his bearings, the old woman's face frozen in his eyes.

Once the engine pulled into the bay, Gage quickly headed towards the head, his head spinning along with his stomach. Closing the door, he went to his knees and felt the contents of his stomach lurch through his mouth, shaking he fell on the floor. He whimpered and wiped the spittle from his mouth. Still shaking he heaved again into the toilet, he felt cold and clammy and used the toilet to stand up.

Cap Winter followed his replacement to the head, only to see him collapse on the floor.

"When you see Gage," Winter talked to Henderson, "have him lay down okay?"

"Sure Cap," Henderson nodded and watched the Cap go to the office.

Winter made it to his office and placed a few phone calls. First was getting a replacement for his replacement and then a long overdue phone call.

"Stanley residence," a female voice answered.

"May I talk to Hank please," Winter sat wearily on his chair, hating this part of the job.

"Sure," there was silence then a male voice answered.

"Hello?" Stanley asked, wondering who would be calling.

"Hank old buddy," Charlie laughed.

"Charlie Winter, well you old dog, now how long has it been?" Hank knew his old boot buddy. "Merry Christmas."

"Well Hank I wish it was, but I have a problem with one of your guys," Charlie rubbed his eyes.

"One of my guys? You've got to be kidding, right. I mean you're in La Mirada right?" Hank sat down knowing Winter wasn't kidding. "Who?"

"John Gage."

"What happened?" Stanley's voice was filled with worry.

"We went on a call, an old woman died, he was pretty shaken up Hank. Enough I'm sending him home. This was his second shift here, he seems like a good man," Charlie added. "You have any idea why he was working so much OT?"

"OT? I had an idea, but La Mirada!" Hank was surprised.

"Well from what I heard he's been working from one end of the county to the other and anyplace in between. I don't usually pry he isn't having any money problems is he?" Winter asked the unasked question.

Hank sat in shock.

"You still there buddy?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. Well John very closed mouth, keeps to himself. Thanks for the heads up and…"

"Hank I don't think Gage should be working for awhile, just my opinion, truth is the guy looked kinda shell shocked and Hank I did some checking he's working straight through to after New Year's. Don't we have some regs on that?" Winter shrugged and wiped his eyes.

"Well we should, look I'll send his partner to look at him and make sure he's not working the rest of the year. I know John and he'll be stubborn as hell," Hank sighed. "Thanks again Charlie. I owe you one."

"Well you'd do the same if it was of my guys. Oh and Merry Christmas," Winter hung up the phone and went in search of his paramedic.

"So how is Gage?" Winter found him in the day room drinking coffee. "He shouldn't be working Cap. I mean his head barely hit the pillow and he looks like death warmed over."

"Is he safe enough to get home?" Winter looked pointedly at him.

"Yeah I guess. You sending him home?" Henderson stood up.

"Yeah, I'm sending him home called his Captain too. We're old boot buddies," Winter played with his coffee cup. "Hell of a way to spend Christmas huh?"

Sent home, just because he felt a little sick, Gage slammed the door of his car after throwing his turnouts and helmet in the back seat.

"See if I ever come back here to work," Johnny mumbled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. He rolled down his windows, cranked up his cassette player and flipped off the station once he was a block away. Luckily the streets were empty as people were at parties since the malls had closed. Not sure how he made it home, he pulled into his parking space, pulling out his bag of dirty clothes and duffle, locking up his car, Johnny stumbled up the steps to his apartment. Taking three tries he opened his front door, placed the clothes by the front door, threw his duffle towards his bedroom and looked at the couch.

He stopped however as he looked at the urn sitting on his coffee table. Sighing he stumbled towards his couch, lying down; he threw a blanket over him and went to sleep.