Here's the next chapter. Jasper has to make a decision.

Chapter 24.

Jasper was numb after his conversation with the Volturi and while he knew he'd promised he would find Bella when he came back, he needed some time to himself. He stood outside the door of their room and he could tell she wasn't in there before he opened the door. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and leant his head on his hands as his elbows rested on his knees.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there; but he did until there was a light tapping on the door and he walked over to it. He wasn't sure who he wanted to see on the other side of it; it was relief he felt when he saw the concerned faces of his parents. He opened the door further and they both walked in; watching him as they did. Carlisle reassured him first, "Bella is with your brother and sister; they've taken her hunting. It'll probably be a few hours before they return." He nodded once at his father, "She was very concerned about you and it took us a while to convince her to go."

"Part of me's glad she isn't here." He whispered; refusing to look at his parents faces; feeling the shock reeling off them.

He turned and walked across the room; Esme and Carlisle giving him the space they sensed he needed. It was almost as it'd been just a few hours earlier; the tension was back in his body and it was only building the more he thought everything through. "Talk to us, son." Carlisle said softly.

"There's a lot we didn't know about what Edward and Alice have let us in for."

"What are you saying, Jazz?" Esme asked, "Have you changed your mind about doing the bond?"

"I'm thinking about it," he quietly admitted.

"But Bella…?"

"I know, mum. This is killing me. Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I want to lose her?" His anger was spiraling ever higher and he clenched his fists at his sides. He stared out of the window; seeing the night drawing in; another day passed and he wasn't sure where it had gone. It seemed like just a few hours since he'd left the comfort of this room; since he'd left the love of his life; his true soul mate; secure in the knowledge he was making the right decision. Now hours later he was in a completely different position and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. More than anything he was worried about how Bella would take his sudden indecision; would she understand once he told them all that the Volturi had told him. His other fist tightened on the sheet of paper Caius had given him and he crumpled it in disgust; throwing it to the floor. Suddenly he needed some air and he flung open the door and strode out onto the balcony; resuming the position he'd had yesterday.

Esme and Carlisle walked to the doorway and peered out into the dusk; seeing their son suffering and neither of them knowing how they could help him; or even what it was he needed help with. Esme's eyes widened as she saw Jasper draw his fist back and slam it forward into the wall he was leaning on; cracks appeared in the thick stone and as he hit it again repeatedly; the surface eventually cracking under the force of each punch; dust falling from the fragile surface and piling at his feet. Carlisle looked at his wife briefly; seeing the distress on her face before striding forward to his son; taking Jasper's arm in a vice-like grip as his other arm cautiously wound around his body. He pulled him back against him and felt his son sag in defeat. Never had he expected this level of devastation to be what they'd witness and feel when they'd walked into the room because there was no denying both him and his wife were experiencing what their son was. They'd heard Jasper walking back from the meeting several hours earlier and were surprised when he didn't stop at their door. They let him be but when it became apparent he wasn't going to come back they knew something was wrong; this hadn't been what they'd been expecting though. To see his son so broken made his heart hurt in a way he hadn't thought possible since becoming a vampire; even going through the loss of Edward and Alice had been a different kind of pain to what he felt now.

*B-o-B*

"Talk to us, Jazz." Esme said as she brushed her hand down his arm. He was lying on the bed now; both his parents sitting either side of him.

"I need to talk to Bella." He whispered.

"Maybe you should tell us first; it might help you to talk it through." Carlisle said.

"I'm not sure I can go through this twice." He replied; the pain he was feeling evident in his voice.

"Do you want me to call them and get them to come back?" his father asked. Jasper nodded and Carlisle got to his feet and walked out on the balcony to make the call.

Esme moved closer to him and took his hand in hers; the one he'd been punching the wall with. She held it in both of hers and stared at her son; the emotional boy who always appeared so strong but was much softer at heart than his reputation portrayed him to be. It seemed almost ironic that someone like him should have a reputation for being so strong; 'God of War' was a nickname he'd been given by his good friend Peter and it had stuck; and yet his gift made him the complete opposite of that. Someone with that name shouldn't be able to feel the emotions his gift cursed him with. In reality though it was a blessing because it'd made him the person he was; someone who was so loving and giving to those important to him but a force of nature to those that held danger to him and his family. Carlisle walked back into the room and stood behind her; his hand brushing her back.

The room was quiet and then the door flung open and their other three children were there. Bella ran straight to the bed and lying next to Jasper before either of them could move. Esme's heart broke as she saw her son pull away from Bella's touch but she wouldn't let him push her away; however much he tried. "Jazz." She whispered; her arms wrapping around his body and pulling him against her. Rosalie and Emmett stood at the end of the bed; watching the scene unfold before them in silence. After some time Bella spoke again, "What did they tell you, baby?"

"They told me more about the bond; what will happen if I fail; what the consequences of that are." His voice was quiet and pain-laden. "They said the bond has been tried three times before; they tested it after it was created but that was the only time it was ever done. I wanted to know how successful it was; I was worried it wouldn't work."

"And?" Esme asked; her voice filled with hope and Jasper knew he was about to shatter it. He could feel hope from all of them and all of them were about to feel his pain.

"They weren't that successful with their attempts. Of the three couples they tried it with; only one bond took completely. One failed entirely." He stopped talking as the pain of what he was about to share with them took him over, "the other only worked partially but both the bonded vampires died." He whispered. He felt their pain and winced slightly. This wasn't even the worst bit and yet he had to carry on; he'd promised Bella he'd never lie to her; or hide anything from her; mistakes that Edward and Alice had made all too often to them all. "I asked them what happened to the vampires that it worked for; Carlisle had never mentioned them so I knew they weren't still with the Volturi by the time he was there. Carlisle would've known about the bond if they'd been there."

"He's right; they weren't there during the years I spent time with them." Carlisle admitted; Jasper could sense the understanding in his father and already knew he had an inkling of where this was heading.

Jasper turned his attention back to Bella; it was her he needed to tell this to. "The female vampire was sent to Mexico by the Volturi when the troubles began down there and she was killed by a lucky newborn." He paused and watched as the pain filtered over her face. "Her mate was still in Volterra but he felt her burn; deep within him and four days later his body crumbled to dust where he stood in the main chamber."

Jasper closed his eyes and concentrated on trying to dull the emotions he was picking up from his family. It took a lot of effort and the touch of her hand on his face shattered the barrier he'd put in place. "That's not all of it, is it?" she asked him.

He shook his head and took his hand in hers; squeezing it. "Marcus told me that after the bond was in place; the connection between the two of them became a lot stronger and that was why Vincenzo felt her die and he died because of her loss. Because it's the only time the bond has worked they don't know whether it was a one-off or if it'd always happen. If it does; we might have to go through what they did."

"We already have a strong bond between us, Jasper. Do you think the pain of me losing you would be any less just because the bond wasn't in place?" She stared into his eyes. "Do you think it will hurt you less if I was to leave with James? Jazz, when I'm not with you, it already feels like a part of me is missing. We already have a connection. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

Silence hung in the air and nobody rushed to fill it. Finally it was Rosalie who spoke, "The bit you talked about earlier… the consequences of you failing. What are they?"

Jasper smiled; an ugly smile that was filled with bitterness. "I get to choose how I die."

"Jazz?" Esme whispered; her hand reaching again for his shoulder and he sat up; letting her take him into her arms. They all watched as she comforted him; wondering how this could possibly be worse than what he'd already told them. "Did they tell you what the choices were?" He nodded against her shoulder and she was scared to ask what they were. He saved her from having to voice it.

"There are three ways to choose from; either by the hand of the Volturi guard, by Maria or by one of you." He said softly. Esme's arms tightened around him automatically. None of them spoke for a while and the silence was like torture to Jasper. "They gave me the option to walk away again." He whispered. "I have until tomorrow to give them my final answer."

He could feel Bella staring at him; the heat of her eyes on him searing his back. "You're actually thinking about it, aren't you?" she said softly; each word painful for him to hear.

"We'll leave the two of you alone. You need to talk about this." Carlisle said; trying to give them privacy for this painful discussion.

"No dad. You all need to be here for this. We're a family and we need to face this together as a family." Bella said; her voice harder now as she realized he hadn't denied her question. And she could see on her parent's faces that they knew it was true.

Jasper pulled himself from Esme's arms and got to his feet. "That's just it, Bella. We're not facing this together; it's me and you that are going through this. There are so many risks with what we're about to face; each one could result in either of us dying. All that risk with the slight hope it will even work; if it doesn't I'll either lose you or we could both die. Does any of this sound like we stand a hope in hell because I can't say I really like our chances." Jasper was completely focused on her; it was as if it was just the two of them in the room. Bella also got to her feet; stubbornness ebbing from her in torrents. She stood facing him on the other side of the bed. "James could still take you away from me, baby. I don't want to lose you. Even if we get through all of this; there's still a chance we could end up dead. You're a danger magnet, darlin', what do you think the chances are of one of us not ending up dead? I would think very small would be a good guess. And if that happens there's a good chance the other will too." His fist was clenched again at his side and Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him. His anger waned slightly but was still lingering in the background.

"Are you saying I'm not worth the risk?" Bella whispered; remembering a time when he'd told her she was and wishing he would say it again now.

"That's not what I'm saying; I'm saying maybe I'm not the right person for this; I'm not strong enough for this."

"Why would you say that?" she asked; incredulous he would think that.

"I'm the weak one." He stared at her and she knew what he was referring to and suspected no one else would understand.

"Rose, can I come and stay in your room tonight?" she whispered as she still stared into his eyes.

"Of course," Rosalie said softly.

Bella turned away and grabbed a few items of clothing from the closet before walking towards the door. "Please think about it, Jasper. I'll speak to you in the morning." She pulled open the door and looked back at him over her shoulder, "I know you can do this, Jazz. I believe in this; I believe in you and I know we're stronger together than we are apart. Yes there are risks to this; but life is a risk and I'm done with making the safe choice. I love you and you love me; it's as simple as that; there's no decision to make as far as I'm concerned." She was gone and the door shut behind her. In a minute Rosalie and Emmett had also left the room and Jasper was alone once more with his parents.

Jasper was looking at the door; blinking quickly and looking more human in those few seconds than he ever had. The pain was evident on his face and he could almost feel his heart breaking as she left him. It hurt so bad and part of him hated to admit she was right; it felt like part of him was missing as soon as the door shut behind her.

His parents were sitting side by side at the end of the bed and he couldn't meet their eyes. "Did it work?" Carlisle asked.

"What?"

"Pushing her away like that. Do you feel better now?" Esme asked. He couldn't answer her but as her hand lifted his chin and she forced him to look her in the eyes he shook his head. "Then why did you do it? You keep pushing her away, Jasper and we don't understand why."

"Because she deserves someone better than me. Someone who won't let her down."

"Do you know who you remind me of?" she said; a small smile on her face. Again Jasper shook his head. "Edward. He seemed to think he knew what was best for Bella as well. Him and Alice both."

"We thought you were different, Jasper. You've never been like this with Bella before; you've always treated her as an equal." Carlisle said; the disappointment hit Jasper hard.

"I just want her to be happy and safe."

"As did Edward and Alice." Esme said. "She didn't look very happy when she left this room, did she? Edward and Alice didn't doubt you could do this, Jasper. Nobody does, apart from you and I'm not sure I understand why."

"I don't think you want to know. Not really."

"Tell us." Carlisle insisted.

"I've always felt like I was the one holding everyone back. I was the reason we usually had to leave somewhere. I'm the one you all see as weak; I'm used to seeing myself like that as well. Does that sound like someone you should entrust something this important to?"

"You aren't weak, Jazz. No one who's been through what you have could ever be viewed as weak. Bella certainly doesn't think of you that way and none of us do either. We'll all be with you through this, son." Carlisle's voice was soft and earnest. "And if the worst happens and you fail at the task, we'll be there for you then as well." Jasper stared at his father and for the first time he really felt like the son Carlisle had claimed as his own. Carlisle must've seen the acceptance on his face. "Jasper, I'm not sure I know how to say this, so I'm going to just say it. If you decide to do this and if you should fail, I'd like to offer to be the one that helps you."

"Carlisle…" Esme hissed at her husband; not really wanting to consider that eventuality.

"No, I want to say this. Jasper, I may not have been the one who brought you to this life but you are my son and I'd be honored if you'd accept my gift to you to give you the death you deserve. I obviously don't want you to fail but if you do, I will help you die in a way that will be quick and relatively pain-free for you – more than any of the other options would anyway."

"I'd like that, dad. Thank you." Jasper said.

"I do think you should do this though, Jasper. I know there are risks involved but the rewards can be much better. And none of us will let either of you come to any harm once we've got through this. You need to believe everything will be fine."

"I wish it was that simple." Jasper said. "I think I've just ruined things with Bella."

"You haven't. She just needs time. A lot has happened recently; and don't forget the fact she's still a newborn vampire." Esme said. "Why don't your father and I leave you alone for a while; you have a lot to think about." They both kissed his forehead and walked out of the room. Jasper lay on the bed and wished several things; he wished he could sleep because he was exhausted; he wished he could hold Bella in his arms and as the emotions threatened to overwhelm him he wished he could release his pain through the tears that were beckoning beneath the surface.

TBC

A/N: Silly Jasper... Please review. Next chapter later today.