CS end

Johnny had been back to work for a month and was easing back into the routine. Roy had invited him over to his house and he was again feeling comfortable. However, every day he was home the urn reminded him of his duty.

Sighing he knew he could do it by himself now; he had his confidence back and had nothing to fear at the reservation, now he had to tell Roy.

The children in bed, Johnny looked at his friend and partner Roy DeSoto. There wasn't a better man around. Joanne could see something was up and excused herself.

"Um, Roy, you know that promise you made to me about my aunt?" Johnny stammered, not sure he could really do this.

"Of course I remember, Johnny. Why would you think I'd forget?" Roy toyed with his coffee cup.

"Um, the thing of it is, I can do it myself. I put my vacation request in. I'm ready now," Johnny proclaimed proudly, able to lick his demons.

"Are you sure Johnny? I mean I'll be there for you, really," Roy could see the hint of indecision of his friend.

"No, Roy this is something I really need to do myself, you know. How else am I goin' to conquer my fear? There is nothing on the reservation to be afraid of, if I don't want it to be. Besides I was a kid when we left," Johnny grinned.

"Okay Johnny, but if you get into any trouble, you call me. I mean it!" Roy was adamant about his friend's safety.

#######

Johnny looked out the window of the plane as it landed. Clear blue sky, snow capped mountains and cool crisp air. He was close to finally fulfilling his aunts wishes. Stepping off the plane, he held tightly to his carryon. The urn was carefully packed and he planned to stay only two days.

Finding the car rental place he picked up his car and headed towards the reservation. Johnny had talked to the elders and they understood his plight, he was given permission to go to the burial grounds and give his aunt the peace she desired.

Pulling up in his small car, the grieved man walked up to the chief's house. Knocking he waited, still pensive as to what would happen. Being off the rez for so long he had forgotten traditions and tribal customs and hoped he wouldn't embarrass himself.

The door was opened by a pretty young woman with long black hair, t shirt, torn jeans and bare feet.

"You must be John Gage," she opened the screen door.

"Call me Johnny," the paramedic flashed his best smile and offered his hand. She offered hers, and he found it soft to the touch and gentle.

"My father in waiting in the den," she turned and walked away, forcing Gage to watch where he was going and not the view presented to him.

"Um, I've never met a chief before," Johnny whispered.

"Oh, he's just Dad to me," she winked and led him into the masculine room. There was dark paneling and Indian artifacts along with things he vaguely remembered from his childhood. On one wall were numerous pictures, which his eyes quickly drew to seeing if he knew anyone.

"Ah, John Gage," the older man stood up. His hair was long and graying, tied with leather into a loose ponytail, his eyes were a crystal clear blue surrounded by deep furrows and wrinkles. The mouth of the chief smiled, showing bright white teeth.

"I'm Running Bear and this is my daughter, Long Face otherwise known as Francie and I am Alan. Welcome. Please sit down," Alan pointed to a leather couch in the room. "Please daughter— refreshment."

"Yes Dad," Francie rolled her eyes and left them alone.

"Please you have nothing to worry about Mr. Gage," the older man tried to alleviate the doubt and worry in the young man's face.

"Johnny, please," the young man smiled and looked at the man.

"I do remember your father and mother, Johnny. I was saddened to hear of their passing and then your aunt took to raising you. She had done a fine job. Ah, here it is," Running Bear took the coffee things and shooed his daughter away. She stuck her tongue out at him and then left them alone.

"Yes sir, she did. I'm a firefighter paramedic with the Los Angeles County Fire Department," Johnny said proudly.

"Yes you save people; it was in your mother's blood. She was a great healer," Alan poured himself coffee and then one for Gage.

"I didn't know that about my mother," Johnny looked into his cup for answers.

"Well, you were small when you left the reservation. We were sorry to see your family leave but your father was headstrong and stubborn in his ways. He wanted to make sure his son made it in the white man's world," Running Bear sighed.

"Oh," Johnny set his coffee cup down again, overwhelmed by the things he had just learned.

"I'm sorry Johnny, I thought you knew," the old man's eyes bored into his.

"Well Aunt Rose didn't talk about them much after they died. I know she was real close to my Dad and all but I…I guess she thought it was better this way, you know," Johnny sighed only remembering the few scant years he had with his parents before they died.

"It's all right; we will have plenty of time to talk later. How long are you staying?" The Chief looked expectant.

"I've only got a few days and then I have to go home," Johnny apologized.

"What a shame, perhaps you can come another time and we can talk about your parents. There are a few other people who would like to meet you and know you are following in your mother's footsteps," Running Bear's face lit up.

"Yeah sure I'd like that I mean, when I have more time. It's just right now I don't have much vacation time and…" Johnny held up his hands in frustration.

"It's all right; we have all our people's history, up here," he pointed to his head, "in both song and story. You would like to relearn the customs and traditions?"

"Oh yeah I would, I guess you don't know what you miss until you find it, huh?" Johnny smiled again.

'Yes, yes." Running Bear looked at his watch, "I'm sorry Johnny but I have some tribal business to take care of. You'll stay for dinner of course and stay here," Running Bear stood up and Johnny followed.

"Well actually I was going to stay in town and…" the paramedic raised his hands up in embarrassment. "I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't know and…"

"Nonsense, you are family. Daughter, show Johnny too his room and give him a tour. I'll be back in time for dinner. Francie will take care of you," the chief disappeared leaving the two of them alone.

"So how long are you here Johnny?" Francie walked him to his car and he took out his overnight bag.

"I leave tomorrow night on the red eye," Johnny told her. He took his bag out of the car and followed her back inside. He felt safe and comfortable here.

Francie smiled and led him to a guest room. "Here you are. Do you ride Johnny?" She looked at him, and brown eyes met brown eyes.

"Me?" He pointed to himself. "Do I ride? Of course I ride, a horse you mean," Johnny blushed.

"Yes, my father requested I give you a short tour of the reservation before dinner. Why don't you get comfortable," she pointed to his dress slacks and shirt. "You did bring jeans didn't you?"

"Um yeah, just give me a minute," Johnny stammered.

"I'll give you five. Meet me out at the stables, I'm sure you'll have no problem finding them," she winked and then left him alone.

Gage quickly changed into jeans, plaid shirt and boots; he had packed efficiently and removed his aunt's urn from his bag. He stroked it lovingly and placed it on the dresser in the small room. He took a good, long look at his room. There was a small twin bed, covered with a colorful Indian blanket, a rocking chair, bed stand, and a small lamp and dresser. The hardwood floors were cool to the touch and he saw a smaller blanket on the floor. There was a small closet but he didn't need it. Yes, the room was comforting and comfortable and he whistled as he headed out to meet Francie or Long Face.

He found the stables easily enough and found two horses ready to go. "They're beautiful," Johnny stroked one of the horses.

"He seems to like you; that is Long Bow," she pointed to John's horse, "and this is Flaming Arrow," she stated with pride. "Shall we?" Francie quickly saddled with John close behind.

Inhaling the clean fresh air, his lungs actually hurt after the smog filled skies of LA.

"Something wrong?" Francie looked worried.

"No, just have to get to fresh air is all," Johnny smiled. "Lead on."

The scenery was breathtaking to say the least, seeing the mountains off in the distance, the cool, pine scented air filled his head and the sweet vision of Francie helped too. Johnny had been so obsessed with the bad part of his childhood he had forgotten the good parts of the beauty of the land and his native heritage. Fear, he knew, could be a terrible thing and had taken a heavy toll on him. But now, here on the rez with good company, the burden of fulfilling his aunt's wishes seemed minuscule as he let fear rule his life, once again.

Francie pointed out familiar and unfamiliar sights, giving him the grand tour. Images, smells and sounds filled in the empty places of the things he had seen.

They stopped to rest the horses; both had climbed off the animals and Johnny leaned against a tree.

"So tell me how did you get your name?" Johnny grinned, "If I can ask."

"Of course you can ask," Francie grinned, "Doesn't mean I'll tell you." She laughed.

Gage frowned. "Well that's just not right, you know. Here I am trying to learn my customs and you…"

"Listen Johnny," she pushed a finger in his chest. "Names are very sacred and you just don't toss them around."

"Okay okay, sorry I asked," Johnny waved his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry Johnny," Francie smiled. "It's just…"

"Hey I'm new to this Indian business okay. I came here to fulfill my aunt's last wish and realized how much I've missed in my life. I really want to learn my Indian ways, it's not some act," Johnny grinned with sincerity, finding it wasn't as bad as he thought.

Before long they returned back to the house and Francie had softened up a bit.

"Hello," Alan looked at the two young people. "Have a good ride?" He looked at his daughter, knowing her short temper.

"It was incredible, simply incredible," Johnny grinned.

"Really," the chief said with skepticism.

Johnny replied enthusiastically, "You have to understand I go camping a lot but this place, the scenery is just incredible."

"Well, daughter why don't you get dinner started. Johnny and I have matters to discuss," Alan winked at his daughter. "Come."

Johnny followed silently back into the den and looked at the chief. So much of his childhood was bits and pieces and half remembered memories. For some reason he felt comfortable and safe here.

"Johnny, I got a guide for you to take you to the scared burial grounds," the chief said proudly. "You're going to have to get a pretty early start since you have plane to catch."

"No problem, I'm used to getting up early in the morning," Johnny grinned.

"Good now tell me about this paramedic program of yours," the chief asked with great interest.

#######

It was dark when Johnny was up for the long journey to take care of his aunt's ashes. Part of him was happy another part bittersweet; his aunt was truly gone. The woman had been a solid rock for him for so long and now he felt truly alone. But finding his roots here at the reservation made up for it. Yes, his aunt knew this and he had finally come to realize it. She had kept him from his heritage and was now bringing him full circle.

Johnny has always enjoyed the sunrise; it meant he was alive for another day. The reds, blues and yellow hues spoke wonders to him as they drove further into the reservation.

"I knew your parents," the older man said.

"Really?" Johnny looked with awe. "My folks didn't talk much about the reservation after we left. I do remember the anthropologists though, for some reason. Probably because I was a guinea pig."

"Those people ran with the snake. But the chief at the time was weak and let them come every year. Shortly after you left they stopped coming," the man spat out their names.

"Red Bear, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I really want to learn my Indian ways. Hey, I know I'm a pretty good navigator and such but…it's just…I think my aunt wanted me here for a reason," Johnny held tighter to the urn. "I hope that doesn't sound too weird."

The man looked at him and smiled. "No, it's not weird…there are many people out there who can help you. I know some people in LA who can help you."

"Thank you Red Bear I really appreciate it, it will be incredible," Johnny grinned again, feeling his heart and sprit soar once more.

The drove in silence and stopped just before sunrise. Getting out of the truck, Johnny stretched his legs while Red Bear saddled two horses. Gage grabbed the urn and headed back towards the horses.

"Long Face says you ride well. Don't worry, this is an easy ride I will leave you alone while you take care of your aunt and then we will ride back," Red Bear put the urn in Gage's saddlebags and then got on his horse. They rode in silence to the sacred burial grounds.

Johnny was still amazed with the scenery, still astounded he had not made this journey before. Red Bear kept stealing glances at him and knew John Gage had found a new home, of sorts.

"Is it like this all the time?" Johnny's right hand swept over the vastness of the plains.

"Always, except when it snows and you wish you had stayed home," Red Bear laughed.

"Oh, cold doesn't bother me. Is it okay to take photos, I mean this is just…incredible…incredible," Johnny whispered, still awed by the vision in front of him.

"I'm sure it would be okay, the next time you return," Red Bear smiled knowing they would be welcoming a new member to the tribe.

They rode in silence for an hour then stopped.

"You will find what you're looking for," Red Bear pointed, "out there. Take as much time as you need. I think you'll have no problem finding your way back."

Johnny nodded to his guide and urged his horse forward. A small stream suddenly appeared from the underbrush and he felt whole again. He remembered his aunt telling him stories of this sacred place and the burial grounds. The grieving man guided his horse until he had found the right spot. The creek bubbled, a copse of trees grew, and the air smelled of honeysuckle and sage.

Getting off his horse, he opened his saddle bags and took out the small urn. He held tightly onto it as he walked to the spot his aunt had designated. It was too beautiful to even describe in words. Yes, his aunt had chosen a breathtaking place to remain.

Saying a silent prayer, Johnny opened the urn and slowly poured out its contents on the ground. He watched as a sudden wind picked up the ashes and sent them flying off in the distance. Just as quickly the wind disappeared along with his aunts remains.

The paramedic wasn't sure how long he stood there, looking at the scenery and reminiscing about his aunt. A sound of a distant, mournful howl send a chill down his spine and his horse got restless. It was time to go for now, but he promised he would be back.

Putting the urn back in his saddlebags, he climbed back on his horse, gave one last look and turned his horse around and headed back to Red Bear.

#######

"Welcome back partner," Roy patted Johnny's back as they checked equipment.

"Great to be back," Gage grinned and then leaned against the squad. "In fact Roy, it was incredible. I mean all along I had nothing to worry about it. I mean it was easy," he snapped his fingers, "just like that. I coulda saved myself a lot of worry, you know."

Roy stood up and looked as his friend tried to discount his feelings. "Sure Johnny," he snapped his fingers, "just like that. I understand," he grinned.

"I'm serious Roy. You know I'm going back…to the rez I mean. I'm going back to my roots," Johnny said proudly.

"Roots, yeah. You know Johnny I'm reading a book about a guy going back to his roots, Alex Haley is the author."

"Oh," Gage was interested, "How did it turn out?"

"Well I'm not finished yet," Roy crossed his arms, "but he sure learned a lot so far, I mean about his roots. He's a black guy."

"Another of the oppressed peoples," Johnny sighed. "Yeah I'm going to get a spirit guide, go to pow wow's the whole bit," he said with excitement. "It's going to be incredible."

Roy grinned again; he sure was glad having his partner back. He knew he would hear all about Johnny's new passion, but he didn't mind. Just having his partner and best friend back made it all worth while.