Chapter 21
Lavender.
It took him several weeks and a few embarrassing trips to the Body Shop, but Sasha Belov finally pin pointed the scent that haunted his pillow. No doubt Payson's hair made its mark weeks ago during their night together in his trailer.
Sasha made the sensory connection one night at the Keeler home. Kim had asked him over to catch-up since hey hadn't seen or spoken to each other since Payson moved. When Sasha used the bathroom that evening he noted the lavender lotion and hand soap. The familiar scent wafted up to him as he washed his hands.
Mrs. Keeler had always been a good friend to Sasha. In fact, ever since he started seeing Payson romantically, he would feel a twinge of guilt at the sight of Kim. It was a knee jerk reaction; every conversation with her was just another reminder that he was keeping something from a parent who had trusted him for so long. It was acute torture.
"So stranger," Mrs. Keeler placed a plateful of homemade cookies in front of the Rock coach. "How's your life? You've been so mysterious lately."
Sasha bit into a cookie and shrugged. Suddenly he felt like a kid returning from school; he had a nagging, but loving mother bringing him snacks to accompany the traditional afternoon interrogation.
He swallowed and answered, "I'm fine, but pretty bogged down with work."
"You haven't replaced Payson yet?"
He shook his head. He just couldn't make himself do it.
"I bet she really misses you."
Sasha smiled lamely at this comment, but didn't respond. Honestly, he wasn't sure how Kim's daughter felt these days. Payson hadn't contacted him at all since she left. He both avoided and longed for some connection between them. It was a constant back-and-forth struggle. In fact, just a few days ago he caved and sent Payson a comb he'd spotted in a boutique window. Sasha barely registered the decision in his brain until afterward. In a matter of hours he had impulsively bought, packaged, and sent the gift to Boston. Later when reality set in, Sasha banged his head against the wall for being such a sentimental prat.
"Anyway…" Sasha attempted to steer the conversation away from Payson Keeler. "The gymnasts at the Rock are doing well. Nina and Jessica are adjusting, but they're very focused on getting to Worlds. They have to bring their best to the Nationals Team practice this weekend – really show off in front of the Committee."
"Oh that's right!" Kim said. "I almost forgot about that! Payson is flying in this weekend for National Team Practice. Thanks for reminding me. I need to pick her up from the airport."
Sasha nodded, hiding the bubbling anticipation in his gut. Like a boomerang, Payson Keeler would be flying back into his life that weekend. It had taken him all month to get used to the empty chair in his office, the fading lavender on his pillow, and the absence of Ally's crayon marks on his apartment walls. After seeing her again this weekend, he'd just have to start the whole cycle of recovery over again. He wasn't looking forward to it.
Then, like personal therapy, Sasha Belov mechanically said: "I'm glad Payson's in Boston. It's where she needs to be." Honesty, he repeated this statement so often that the words had lost their meaning.
"You're sweet to care so much. I'm glad there are no hard feelings between you and Austin."
"Uh…why would there be?
"You know…since she's working for him now instead of you." Kim explained.
"Ohhh." Sasha sighed with relief. "Right." For a brief, terrifying second he thought Kim Keeler might know another reason he could be jealous of Austin Tucker.
"Well, I know it was hard for Payson to leave the Rock…and you. I'm not sure you realize what an important role you've played in her life."
He smiled sheepishly at this, filling his mouth with cookie so he wouldn't have to respond.
Kim laughed to herself. "You know what? She never admitted it to me growing up, but I swear that girl had a crush on you - especially after her injury!"
An odd, nervous laugher emitted from Sasha's throat. "Wow…that's adorable. Just precious." His mind immediately reverted to more recent images of Payson – Payson on his wet floor, Payson taking off his belt, Payson biting her bottom lip. He wasn't sure if the adjectives he just used applied to his ex-gymnast anymore. He took a large gulp of milk and avoided eye contact with Kim Keeler.
The unsuspecting mother was still laughing to herself and shaking her head. "It's so funny too, because at the beginning of all of this Payson had such a grudge against you. Mark and I never dreamed you two would coach so well together, but I guess that things just have a way of working out!"
"You have no idea…" Sasha suddenly wished that his milk was something stronger. He doubted that the Keelers kept hard liquor in their home. They seemed more like wine and beer people.
Kim must have read the sad look on Sasha's face because she immediately tossed him another cookie. "You know you're welcome here anytime, Sasha. No invitation needed."
Sasha grinned. "Thank you. I really appreciate that."
Mrs. Keeler shrugged and then said something truly remarkable. "You're practically a part of the family. We wouldn't have it any other way."
Sasha walked away that night happier than when he arrived. The combination of Kim's remark and his lavender-scented hands was putting his troubled mind at ease.
Back in Boston, Payson was starting to regret confiding in Austin. She quickly learned that he didn't let things go. After impulsively admitting her true feelings, Austin Tucker latched on to her personal life and milked out every Sasha-related detail. At the time Payson had felt relieved to finally release her pent up feelings, but the next morning she regretted her spontaneity dearly. Payson Keeler was having an emotional hangover – the worst kind.
"Good God, Austin! Please stop bothering me about this. I swear, this is the last time I tell you anything about my life!"
Payson Keeler was walking around Boston Elite, trying to do her job in peace. This was difficult with the head coach buzzing in her ear like a very opinionated bee.
"I asked the big question, yes, but you're the one who chose to answer! You're seeing Sasha in what – four days?" asked Austin, weaving in and out of gymnasts so he could keep up with Payson. "Are you going to talk to him?"
Payson tried to ignore Austin, choosing instead to watch Nathan Miles' parallel pars routine.
"Keep your head up on that dismount, Nathan!" she cried. "I want to see the confidence etched on your face - permanently!"
Austin rolled his eyes at her denial. "Are you even listening to me-?"
"He doesn't want to be with me anymore, Austin!" she said through the corner of her mouth. "He's made that perfectly clear, trust me."
Austin Tucker couldn't believe how stupid Payson was acting. It was starting to make him worry about the intelligence of their offspring. He made a mental note to teach Ally not to inherit her mother's repressed romantic outlook on life.
Austin talked slowly, emphasizing each point. "Let's review: Sasha sacrifices his job for your gymnastics, he selflessly lets you go to protect you from the dreaded Beals…and to top it all off he sends you a golden hair comb on your birthday. Did I miss something, Payson? How can you still think the man doesn't want you? Hasn't Cosmo written something on this topic area that you can refer to?"
"Shhh!" She waved her hands around desperately, urging him to lower the volume of his voice.
Austin groaned and grabbed her arm, taking her to the side so they could speak like real adults.
"Payson, I appreciate the fact that you moved here. I really do. I love Ally and I love you –"
She raised her eyebrow.
"Not in that way!" Austin clarified to a relieved Payson. "You're amazing and we'll always be friends and parents. As long as we both love Ally, that's all that matters at the end of the day. She's the most important thing we have in common."
Payson nodded. "Well said, Austin."
"Great! So what's your plan, Keeler? Are you going to live a pathetic half-life in Boston? Do I have to watch you wither away into spinsterhood? Are you going to force me into a marriage of convenience?"
Payson laughed. She hated that Austin could force her to laugh at the weirdest times. At least he was good for something.
"I do like Boston." Payson said honestly. "I love the gym you're set up here, Austin."
"But it's not the Rock." he finished for her.
She sighed. "I guess not."
"Well I have news for you, Payson Keeler." said Austin. "I know Sasha Belov pretty well. I used to idolize the guy when I was younger and I know a thing or two about the way his brain works. I hate to break it to you, but he's never going to come after you. If you expect him to appear in the gym one day or chase after you in an airport with a romantic soundtrack playing in the background, you'll be sadly disappointed."
Payson felt her heart drop a little, but continued to listen to Austin's rant.
"He's not going to chase after you, Payson. It's not because he doesn't love. It's because he does love you. If everything you've told me is true – him ducking out of the Olympic cycle in 2012 and letting you go to Boston– then there is no way he's going to interfere with any peace or happiness you've gained in Boston. It's obvious that he will always put you first. Sasha's not going to budge unless he knows for a fact that he won't hurt you. It's annoyingly noble, but it's a fact you're going to have to accept."
Payson stared at Austin Tucker, completely dumbfounded.
"So you're telling me to give him up?" she asked in confusion. "Wasn't this supposed to be an inspirational speech?"
"Get your ears checked, Payson." Austin said, smirking. "I said he's not going to chase after you. I never said you couldn't chase after him. Aren't you the one who said you were tired of Sasha Belov constantly saving you? Well, maybe this time you should prove you don't need saving."
It was the strangest thing. All the years of minimal contact and distance had prevented Payson from seeing what she saw now – namely, that Austin Tucker had gracefully transitioned from a boy to a coach. After all, only a coach could have improvised a speech like that.
Payson opened her mouth, fully intending to respond to his unexpected wisdom. Sadly, she didn't get the chance. Suddenly the surrounding teenage chatter faded and the gym's volume dropped to near silence. Payson and Austin turned away from their spat to see the cause of this shift.
Keera Donaldson had just walked through the doors of Boston Elite. She looked so normal. She wore jeans, a loose blouse, and a backpack slung over her shoulder like any other teenager in America. She entered with hesitation while still retaining an element of quiet confidence. She might've retired and joined the masses of normal citizens on the streets of the city, but she was still the National Champion and no one in this gym had forgotten that.
Within a minute a crowd of athletes had formed around her, complimenting her outfit, bombarding her with questions about retirement, and simply giving her hugs.
"Wow..." Austin said, his face turning blank. Looking at him now, Payson began to realize how hard it must've been for him to see Keera leave the sport. If Nina of Jessica had done the same she wasn't sure she could've kept it together.
"Austin!" Keera escaped from her peers and walked over to the two coaches. She gave them each a hug. "It's been too long. Sorry I haven't been around for a while."
"It's OK, Keera." Austin said smiling. "You're always welcome here."
"I can't believe you're coaching here, Payson. When I heard I was tempted to come back! Well…almost" Keera clarified quickly. "I made the right decision for me. I'm just stopping by on my way to an SAT course across the street. I'm applying to colleges this year! Can you believe it?"
"Good for you, Keera." Payson said. "We're very proud of you."
"At least someone is..." the young girl said with a heaving sigh.
Austin and Payson exchanged glances.
"Uh...are your parents pressuring you to return to gymnastics?" Payson asked curiously.
Keera shook her head. "No, they're fine now. It's Ellen Beals."
"What about Ellen Beals?" both coaches asked together in an agitated tone.
"That's the reason I haven't been by in a while, Austin. I wanted to stay off the radar. Ellen Beals has been on my case ever since I made than scene at Nationals Practice. She called my house everyday - sometimes twice a day - for weeks. She got my cell phone number too and even started stopping by in person. That woman just wouldn't let it go."
"God, Keera I'm so sorry." Austin said. "I had no idea with was going on."
She shrugged. "I figured if I ignored her she might go away. It turned out to be half true. She's given up the phone calls and random visits. Now she's just sticking to email." Keera rolled her eyes. "Every other day she sends me information about cars, college scholarships, sponsors still interested in me..."
"Wait - what?" Austin asked. "Is Ellen Beals bribing you?"
"Pretty much." Keera laughed. "I don't think she get's it though. I mean, I gave up a potential gold medal to have a normal life. What makes Ellen Beals think I'd throw that away for a stupid BMW?" The girl shook her head in amusement.
Before they could extract any more information, Keera was pulled away by more Boston gymnasts. Payson turned to go back to work, but Austin caught her arm.
"This is big, Pay." he said with a knowing look.
"What do you mean?"
He smirked. "You're not very creative, are you Keeler?"
Payson paused and tried to read her friend. She wasn't sure what he was getting at.
"Look," he continued. "Sometimes getting what you want requires getting your hands dirty. If you want to be with Sasha, you need to get the pebble out of your shoe first."
"Wait - do you think I should -?"
"Duh!" Austin cried. "Gosh Payson. Stop being a naive, innocent midwestern girl for about five minutes and consider it."
Payson watched him swagger away to the uneven bars. Though mildly offended by his jab, a small smile of realization was spreading across her face.
In yet another area of the country, Lauren Tanner was buried in the bottom floor of a library. Her usually perfect hair was disheveled and there was a panicked, almost wild look in her eye. Finals season was upon her. Anyone could tell just by surveying the Law Library. The smell of coffee and ramen noodles made an unpleasant mix in the air that Lauren was forced to ignore out of sheer necessity. At present, she was flipping through a propped up book with speed and focus as she reviewed a long list of cases. She knew this information backwards and forwards; Lauren had gymnastics to thank for her above average work ethic. Her confidence and smarts, however, couldn't prevent her from downing Tums by the boatload to prevent stress ulcers.
The pink cell phone on her desk began vibrating frantically. A few of her classmates shot her evil glares from various points of the silent floor. She stared right back at them menacingly as she grabbed her phone, and proceeded to the hallway grumbling under her breath. Law students could be so testy sometimes.
"Hello?" she asked agitatedly.
"Lauren? Is this a bad time?"
Her eyes widened at the sound of Payson's voice. She couldn't remember the last time Payson Keeler called her. "Uh - no. It's fine. How are you?"
"I'm fine, but I've been better. You?"
"Finals." Lauren sighed miserably into her phone.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to bother you. I can call back later..."
"No!" Lauren said quickly. "I could use a distraction. Seriously, I'm going crazy. This place feels like the Rock before a major competition...only with more headaches and less endorphins."
"Ouch."
"How are you post press conference, Pay? Is something up?"
Payson sighed and took a deep breath, wondering exactly how to approach her unconventional request. "So...I'm actually calling for a favor."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Lauren snickered. "What could I possibly do to help the wonderful Payson Keeler? I'm pretty sure you do everything better than me."
"Not everything..." Payson said pointedly.
"What do you mean?"
"Well…the thing is...I'm trying to get Ellen Beals fired."
Payson's voice was lined with both embarrassment and hesitation. She disliked Ellen Beals as much as the next average, upstanding citizen, but the idea of sabotaging someone's career was a foreign desire to her. Though she wanted to stand up and take control of her life, Payson Keeler was a stranger to self-serving manipulation and strategy. In fact, she was fairly clueless in this area. While other women learned such tactics in high school cafeterias and sorority houses, Payson spent that valuable time training at the gym.
There was silence on the other end and Payson didn't take that as a good sign.
"Uh...Lauren? You still there?"
"Oh, yeah..." Lauren's voice was willed with awe.
"Well, what do you think?"
Payson couldn't see, but Lauren Tanner was beaming with pride. "I think this is awesome!"
"Seriously?" Payson asked.
"Of course! I can't believe it...Payson Keeler embracing her dark side! This is amazing. I never thought this day would come."
Payson rolled her eyes. "I haven't gone to the dark side, Lauren. I'm just trying to..." she racked her brain for the right phrase. "...enforce Karma."
"Sure, whatever." Lauren said dismissively. "I'm just glad you called me! I'm so honored!"
"I had a hunch you might be a useful resource."
In fact, as soon as Payson had formulated her plan, Lauren Tanner instantly came to mind. How could she not? Lauren was everything Payson wasn't but needed to be in this delicate situation.
Payson proceeded to share all the details with her old Teammate. Payson explained everything that Keera had told her at the gym - Ellen Beals' bribery, semi stalking, and persistent interference.
"So where should I go from here?" Payson asked when she was done. "Should I confront her?"
"No!" Lauren said. "No, you need to go through the right paths first. If you wanted something specific from her alone, then yes you'd go to her in private. In this case you just want a clean sweep, not cooperation. You need to collect the evidence and contact other committee members. Can Keera give you copies of the relevant emails?"
"I think so..." Payson said. She was very impressed with Lauren's quick thinking.
"Perfect. And do you still have contacts within the committee?"
"Well, there's the guy that hired me." remembered Payson. "I think I still have his number somewhere."
"Excellent." said Lauren. "Lucky for you I happen to have an extensive knowledge of NGO ethics and practices...something I just picked up, you know."
"Sure Lauren," Payson said snickering. She was sure that her teammate and Mr. Tanner had known those rules backwards and forwards in case they could hold any over an enemy's head. This background knowledge didn't surprise her at all. In fact, considering the situation, she was grateful for it.
"Well, I guess it's about time I put my skills to good use..." Lauren resigned. "Plus, if it takes my mind off my finals, then I'm all for it."
Payson and Lauren stayed on the phone for another hour, outlining the appropriate steps to take over the next few days. With the National Practice so soon, Payson needed to act fast.
a/n - Just two more chapters!