March 25th, 2007
I HATE THIS FRIGGING ASSASSIN!!!!!11!!1!!!!!!!!!!!1
First off, I hate ANYONE who uses the "It's Not Personal, It's Just Business" excuse as a reason to kill me. You are trying to kill me, lady, of COURSE it's personal!
This has really gotta end soon, it just has to--I'm nervous to go to sleep! Am I paranoid, or will the crazy lady kill me in my sleep? Does she know who I am?
Oh man...
...this sucks...
If someone's gonna kill me, I always figured it'd be Doctor Octopus. But a crazy assassin lady? No way. When I go down, it's gonna be the most glorious battle of my life--I'm not gonna get shot in the back by the crazy assassin lady!
It's sad that I have to think like that. Of ways that I'm gonna die. It's not pathetic, it's realistic.
You don't think even the Avengers go into some crazy-ass battle thinking they might not come back? You think even your everyday superheroes like me don't get whacked by one too many megalomaniacs and wonder why the hell they're in this line of work?
First off, superheroes aren't all that bright. Not true--Tony Stark and Mr. Fantastic are both really smart. But then again, someone who willingly goes off to fight maniacs bent on killing them can't be using their head.
I tell you, it pays to be smart in this line of work. I'm not saying I'm the next Einstein, but I've got my brilliant moments. Like the time I figured out how to use my webbing to make a hang-glider. This came in handy once when the Vulture dropped me a few miles over New Jersey.
Then there's all that stuff about disarming a bomb--not an easy task. Normally I'd just start pressing buttons until something happens, but I can't do that with a bomb. Smarts come in handy here also.
There's the whole quick-thinking thing, where you have to do something to make your enemy think differently than the truth--this one time Electro nearly had me beat--he was crazy since his last power upgrade. He sent me flying into the window of an Italian restraunt and I landed on this guys table. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the guy's pasta, shoved it down my costume to my chest, and laid out onj his table like I was dead. Electro, being the idiot that he is, bought it. You shoulda heard his little rant--boy, was he surprised when I showed up the next day and called him stupid. This move should've went down in superhero history. Even the guy who's table I landed on was like, Wow, That Guy's An Idiot.
So, like I said, a lot more to being a superhero than freaky powers and colorful tights.
Although the tights are the fun part...
COMMENTS:
(subj:tights)
You're tights are the most ridiculious thing I've ever seen. No wonder people wanna kill you.
---Logan
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(subj:RE:tights)
Hey! I like his costume!
--Mary Jane
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(subj:none)
Sadly, we all have to think like that, Spider-Man. One of the sacrifices of being self-sacrificing.
--Cap'n America
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(subj:smartness)
There is no WAY you're smarter than Richards! He's like, got the biggest head I've ever seen!
--John-nay Storm
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(subj: okay!)
Okay. I couldn't help it. I'm gonna reply to some of these comments. And I know commenting my own blog makes me look like a self-centered jerk, but hell, that's close enough to the truth:
1)You're tights are the most ridiculious thing I've ever seen. No wonder people wanna kill you.
Hey! I like my costume!
2)There is no WAY you're smarter than Richards! He's like, got the biggest head I've ever seen!
Even bigger than yours? OOH BURN!!!
--
Look. I'm glad people are reading this--it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And I'm really happy that most of you don't agree with Jameson. If any of you see him, please throw a rock at him for me. Aim for his head.
I just wanted to thank everyone...yadda yadda yadda...and I really hope that the assassin lady is reading this. YOU ARE SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF CRAZY!!!!
Thanks a lot for keeping up with my mindless blogging! It's funner than I thought...wow...I'm amused easily.
--Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
A/N: I aplogize, but I was not aware of the Fanfiction Guidelines that state it is against the rules to have an interactive blog. I'm very sorry--I was not aware of this. So I can not accept comments from readers for Spider-Man's Blog.