Chapter 3
Lexi woke, warm, comfortable and rested, her eyes fluttering open slowly. She took in the sparse furnishings of the room around her and suddenly the memory of the previous night's conversation flooded back to her with a pang of panic and desperation. She sighed and pulled the blanket up over her head as if it could erase all the events of the last day. Her mind soon flooded with questions about being a guardian that the angel Cas (seriously, an angel?) hadn't had answers to. He'd left...or rather disappeared in a flutter of wings...to find answers. She was idly wondering if there was really a heaven, if that was where he'd gone, when there was a quiet knock on the door.
"I'm up!" she called out, then heard the door swing open.
"Um...rough morning?" Sam asked with a slight chuckle as he saw the lump that was Lexi buried completely under the covers. He heard a quiet groan before the blanket flopped down to reveal the sleepy-looking, wild-haired woman underneath.
"Oh, y'know, just trying to hide from reality," she said with a weak smile as she looked up at the tall man grinning down at her. "Oooooh is that coffee?"
"Oh, yeah...here…" Sam took the two quick steps into the room and set the mug he'd been holding on the nightstand, not wanting to risk brushing fingers and causing Lexi a new bout of pain.
"Thanks," Lexi said, reaching for the mug once Sam had taken a step back. "No offense, but this whole situation doesn't exactly have me excited to be here."
"Yeah, no, I hear ya," Sam replied as he pulled an armchair around to face Lexi as she sat up in bed sipping at her coffee. "Wasn't really in my plans, either."
"At least you've been dealing with bizarre crap your whole life. This is pretty overwhelming for me."
"Give it time, it'll sink in." Sam smiled at her softly, remembering distinctly what it felt like to learn how much more there was to the world than just people. "It'll get better."
"Yeah, I guess," Lexi said, running her index finger idly around the lip of her mug. "It's not that I have...or I guess, had...such a great life. But apparently it's gone now. And at least it was simple."
"Unfortunately it looks like simple is out of the equation now," Sam replied with a sigh. He reached up with one hand, scratching nervously at the back of his neck. "So...how much of my life have…"
"Have I had blasted through my brain?" Lexi took a deep gulp of coffee before setting the cup back on the nightstand. "Not much that I can make sense of. Well, I guess a lot of it wouldn't make sense, now that I know what you do. But it's mostly flashes, images, it's not like I've seen a replay of every time you've gotten laid or anything."
"Well that's comforting!" Sam laughed as his cheeks flushed pink. "When we found you outside, you said I was in danger...what made you think that?"
"I saw a man," she replied, a shudder spiralling up her spine and releasing with a slight twitch in her shoulders. "He had yellow eyes, and he was…"
"That was Azazel. Dean killed him."
"Huh. What was he?"
"Demon." Sam leaned back in the chair, wiping his slightly sweaty palms down his denim-clad thighs. "Anything else you remember?"
"There was this thing...giant mouth, huge teeth…"
"Leviathan. We sent them back to Purgatory."
"You know, this isn't really helping me feel any less overwhelmed, Sam." Lexi glared across the small space at Sam, satisfied at seeing his face drop and his eyes widen at the realization of what the conversation meant for her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean…"
"I know, I just need a little more time between truth-bombs I guess." She reached over and picked up her coffee mug again, taking another deep drink. "Mostly I've just felt a lot of emotions. Sadness, guilt. Feeling like you've let people down. Guess you can't do what you do without coming out of it with a few issues."
"Yeah, just a few," Sam said quietly, feeling his face flush again. He shifted uncomfortably in the chair, clearing his throat before speaking again. "So, Cas is going to pop back in a little while to let us know what he found out. I put some clean towels in the bathroom if you want to shower, and Dean has a grease-fest going in the kitchen if you're hungry."
"Okay," Lexi said, sliding her legs over the edge of the bed to get up as Sam stood and walked toward the door. "Thanks, Sam."
Lexi padded back into the library, bare-footed, hair still wet, setting her freshly filled coffee mug on the table before sitting in the empty chair next to Dean. Both hunters were engrossed in their work, Sam scrolling the screen of his laptop and Dean slowly scanning the pages of a dusty book.
"So, um…" Lexi cleared her throat, spinning her mug on the table. "I hate to ask, but...well, I didn't exactly have a chance to pack for this trip, and I don't have any clothes or anything…"
"Oh!" Sam looked up from his computer, across the table at the freshly showered woman wearing the same clothing she'd had on yesterday. "Sorry I never gave that a thought, we can go out this afternoon and pick up what you need."
"Thanks, I'm sure all our noses will appreciate it." Lexi smiled as she lifted the coffee mug to take a sip. She jumped at the whooshing sound and sudden appearance of Castiel standing inches from her side, nearly toppling the mug of hot liquid. "Shit!"
"Cas, man," Dean said, looking up at the sound of the expletive. "Personal space!"
"Sorry," the angel replied as he stepped away from Lexi, walking around the table to sit next to Sam. "I have some answers for you."
"PLEASE tell me you found a way to break this connection thing?" Dean blurted as he slammed the cover closed on the book he'd been reading.
"Unfortunately the only way it will be broken is if Sam or Lexi dies. Once established, the connection is permanent."
"Winchester, party of three. Great!" Dean muttered, letting out a loud sigh before his face slipped into what could only be described as a pout.
"Dean, don't be an ass," Sam said, glaring across the table at his brother before glancing at Lexi next to him, who was casting an equally dagger-filled look toward Dean. "What about the headaches? If she's stuck here we can't exactly avoid bumping into each other for the rest of our lives."
"I couldn't find any information about that, like I said before the situation is different than how it's normally played out, the intensity of the initial connecting here is much greater than usual. But I think I have a way to get through it with minimal damage."
"Minimal damage?" Lexi blurted, eyes darting between Sam and Cas, a wave of fear rising from the pit of her stomach.
"Yes, if you were to just allow the connection to happen, the intensity of it would probably cause you to have an aneurism," Cas replied bluntly, not noticing the growing wideness of the frightened woman's eyes. "But I think if I continually heal you as you touch Sam, we can get through the process with little more than a migraine. It may take a few sessions, doing it in stages, but it's the safest way."
"And once I've...downloaded Sam...that'll be it? No more pain?" Lexi asked, her fear subsiding somewhat, but tension still overtly visible in her tight shoulders.
"Yes, after you've absorbed Sam's history, you'll only have brief visions of times you're not with him, and those shouldn't cause any discomfort. If you have any premonitions, those may come with a headache but nothing as intense as what you've been experiencing."
"What about the subatomic, beam-me-up-Scotty thing?" Dean piped up, leaning forward in his chair. "How far can Sam go from her before she transports herself back to him?"
"In most cases it's about a five mile radius. She'll need to travel with you from now on."
"five freaking miles?" Dean blurted, his voice raising. "We can't have a little girly psychic tagging along with us everywhere!"
"Dean!" Sam yelled over his brother, his own voice just as loud.
"Hey!" Lexi added, anger quickly shading her face red. "You don't know me or what I'm capable of, so quit being a judgemental douche, okay? It's not like I asked for this and it's not like I'm happy about it especially considering you seem to be exactly the kind of arrogant asshole I really prefer not to spend any time with!"
"Okay, okay," Sam said, raising a hand to quiet Dean before he could continue the argument. "Lexi, Dean is just concerned you'll get hurt. Really, I promise. And Dean, we can train her in defense so she can protect herself if she pops into any dangerous situations. Okay?"
Sam looked between his brother and Lexi, waiting until he got a nod of acceptance from both of them. He let out a loud sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, his mind playing through all the future arguments he could see happening between the two, realizing that the connection between he and Lexi was probably the least of his problems now.
"Okay, Lexi, we'll start with just one minute at a time," Cas said as he set the phone with it's timer on the screen in the middle of the table. "If you are in too much pain at any time, just pull away and stop."
"Okay," Lexi sighed as she looked up at Castiel. She glanced across the table at Sam, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "This is nuts, but okay."
"Same goes for you, Sam, I have no idea if prolonged connection will affect you the same way, so stop if it gets to be too much."
"Yup. Let's try this," Sam blurted nervously, reaching his arm across the table toward Lexi.
"Okay," Cas said as he reached out to touch the start button on the timer, then placed two fingers softly to Lexi's forehead. "Go ahead and take his hand, Lexi."
With a short burst of breath, Lexi steeled herself for the burst of pain she was expecting and wrapped her fingers around Sam's outstretched hand. The now-familiar wave of imagery shot through her instantly, followed by the pain in her temples. She gasped in sharply, and just as she was about to pull away, she felt the warm vibration from Castiel's fingers start pushing the pain back again. After a few seconds the pain was gone, and the chaotic visions slowed to a less dizzying pace and started to fall into order.
Still assaulting her brain rapidly, Lexi was able to make sense of what she was seeing now, images of Sam's life in fast-forward. She saw snippets, vignettes of Sam and Dean from the time they were children through adulthood. She saw Sam's father and Bobby, Ellen and Jo, Rufus, Charlie, even Castiel. All people who she understood to be Sam's family.
She saw Sam in school and learning to read with unbridled excitement, studying history and folklore and mythology. She saw countless books Sam had read both for learning and just plain enjoyment. She saw Sam filling out a college application and felt his nervousness while he did. She felt his excitement and hope when he read his acceptance letter, and his soul-crushing disappointment when his father said he couldn't go. She saw the argument Sam had with his father about it, saw him walk away from his father and brother with a mixture of anger, fear and remorse.
The timer on the phone in the center of the table chimed, and the three removed their hands from each other. Lexi sat back in the chair with a long exhalation of breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
"You alright?" Sam asked, looking across the table at Lexi, concerned and somewhat embarrassed, wondering what she'd seen.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Lexi glanced over at Cas, who seemed to be scanning her with his eyes as though he wanted to be sure nothing had broken.
"It seems to be working well," Cas said, looking over at Sam. "How are you feeling, Sam?"
"I'm good, my arm is a little tingly but I'm good," Sam said as he rubbed at the pins and needles that poked at his forearm.
"Okay, shall we go again?" Cas asked, reaching toward the timer. Sam and Lexi both sat forward, hands reaching toward the center of the table again as Cas touched the timer once more, then returned his fingers to Lexi's forehead.
Dean walked into the library and surveyed the scene at the table and snickered as he sat down. "This looks like you all should be singing Kumbaya around a campfire."
"Shut up, Dean." Sam glared across the table at his brother, rolling his eyes at the smirk he got in return. Dean remained quiet, though, as the seconds ticked past until the timer went off again and the three separated.
Lexi sat back, a smile spreading across her face as she looked at Sam and she began to giggle quietly to herself.
"What?" Sam asked, his eyes growing wide as a wave of nervousness flowed through him.
"Clowns, Sam? Really?" Lexi laughed out loud, unable to contain it. Dean burst out laughing then, too, tossing his head back and clapping his hands together loudly.
"Alright, alright!" Sam blurted, his face quickly reddening.
"Dude I told you you'd never live that down!" Dean said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
"Okay, I'm sorry Sam," Lexi said as she reigned in her amusement. "I'm scared of spiders, okay? You can tease me about that all you want."
"Damn right I will," Sam said pointing and glaring over at Lexi, who was still trying to stifle some errant giggles.
"Come on," Lexi said, sitting forward and reaching her hand across the table. "Let's keep going."
The three resumed their positions again, remaining still and quiet for the next sixty seconds as Dean watched over them. The chime sounded and they all broke the connection.
"Dean!" Lexi half-yelled while glaring down the table at him.
"What?!" Dean replied, incredulous and a little shocked to be singled out.
"Nair in the shampoo, dude?" Lexi raised an eyebrow at him. "That's just rude!"
Sam burst out laughing now, looking at the shocked expression on his brother's face and watching his mouth flop open and shut like a fish gasping for water.
"You shut up!" Dean spat, pointing at Sam as he felt his face get warm with a blush. He didn't see the wink Lexi shot at Sam as they began to reach across the table again.
"Do you think you can handle longer?" Cas asked, glancing between Sam and Lexi.
"I'm good," Lexi said, looking over at Sam.
"Me too, let's get through this." Sam replied, nodding.
"Okay, five minutes then." Cas picked up the phone and adjusted the timer, then returned it to its spot.
The room fell quiet as they started again. Shortly after two minutes had passed, a barely audible whimper broke the silence in the room. The three men turned their attention to Lexi, watching her face closely as another, louder cry came through, her face now tightening in distress.
"Lexi, you okay?" Sam asked.
"She's not in pain, Sam," Cas replied. "Keep going."
Sam watched as her expression seemed to turn to fear and tears began streaming from the corners of her eyes. He was about to pull his hand away when she suddenly wrenched hers quickly from his grasp, her eyes flying open wide with fear, her breathing fast and jagged.
"I think that's enough for right now," Lexi said, pushing her chair back and standing in one fluid motion before she turned and ran from the room toward her bedroom, leaving the three men in stunned silence watching after her.
"Lexi?" Sam knocked gently on the bedroom door as he pushed it open slightly. When he got no response, he pushed the door wide and stepped in, seeing Lexi curled in a ball, arms wrapped tightly around her knees, head buried in the circle of her arms. "Hey, what happened?"
Sam heard a quiet sniffle before she raised her head and wiped quickly at the tears pouring down her cheeks. He was then met with a pillow firmly planted across his face and stumbled backward at the sudden impact.
"You're a fucking asshole, that's what happened!" Lexi yelled as she flung the other pillow at Sam, hitting him square in the face again.
"Okay, why?" Sam said, tossing the second pillow aside and taking a step toward Lexi.
"You could have warned me." Lexi looked up at Sam, tears still streaming from her narrowed eyes.
"About?" Sam asked, his mind racing with the possibilities of what she could have seen to evoke such a strong reaction.
"You get that I don't just see things, right?" Lexi said, sarcasm oozing through the anger and fear. "I feel things, too."
"Yeah, I know, I…" Sam's eyes widened as he realized what part of his life she must have felt. "Oh god...you...you saw hell?"
"I felt it, Sam." Lexi's tears began falling faster, her voice shaking and stuttering with short sobs. "Every damn bit of it. From the moment you fell in the pit right up until Cas pulled you out!"
"Lexi…" Sam pulled the armchair next to the bed and slumped down into it, closing his eyes tightly against his own memories. "I'm so sorry. I should have thought…"
"No, Sam, you know what…" Lexi wiped her eyes and took in a long shuddering breath. "Why would you have thought of it? I'm sure you try not to think about it. It just really scared me. I freaked out. Sorry."
Sam looked up at her, his eyes wet as his own tears threatened to fall. He breathed in a long breath shakily and ran a hand up through his hair, tucking it behind his ear.
"You're right. I don't think about it. I keep it buried as deep as I can so I don't remember." Sam inhaled deeply again, calming himself, tucking those memories back as much as he could. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can understand why you're freaked out."
"I'm surprised I'm not more freaked, I mean, not only is hell real, but…" She shuddered against the memory of the images and sensations she'd witnessed. "Is there anything else you've been through that's going to explode my head?"
"Well," Sam smiled weakly. "That's the worst of it. But...I died once, stabbed in the back. And I was possessed by an angel once, that wasn't much fun."
"Holy crap," Lexi shook her head watching Sam. "I think it was an understatement when Cas said your life was 'intense'."
"Just a little," Sam chuckled. "So, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I will be, I'm just...well, tired now." Lexi lowered her eyes to her hands, fidgeting with her fingernail. "I...kinda wish I could hug you, though."
"Well," Sam laughed, feeling his face flush. "Hopefully it won't be much longer till this is all done."
"Yeah," Lexi said with a sigh. "But no more tonight."