Sometime in the middle of March, a sort of rift began to occur between Anna and I, and we no longer spent every available moment with each other. It brought me great distress. I blamed it on mid-term examinations, and the fact that Dante was pretty much back to his old self, but there was something missing from each of us that no one could quite pinpoint.

The stormy weather of early spring seemed to be the source of Anna's suddenly irritable temper. In turn, I grew grim and sullen. I was growing more and more concerned about what The Count had said to me to previous month, though I didn't voice it. Even in short, surly conversations with der Zanden, I caught hints and snippets of the dark goings on even in his native country of Holland, which was why he was moving his family to Hogsmead.

It was early April when I confronted Anna in the hallway out side of the Hospital wing, calling her on the growing rift.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said suddenly, eyes narrowing behind her glasses. I took a step back, raising one eyebrow.

"Well, Anna, I do."

Anna shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Anna, now more than ever, you and I need to band together…I just have a feeling that there's something big going on here…"

Anna stood stock still, one slender eyebrow cocked over a sea-foam green eye. "Like what?"

I looked at her, my expression unintentionally blank. "I don't know. I don't want to say what, just in case I'm wrong. In fact, pray that I am…"

"Well, that's not very helpful, is it?" She said, turning to go.

"Wait, Anna, I'm sorry. I know there there's a lot going on here, and you have a lot on your plate. We both do. I'm just paranoid…"

"Then just tell me already, so I can understand it! At least give me a reason to even stick around."

I shook me head. "You've worried too much already…"

"Stop treating me like a child." Anna said quietly, her tone low and dangerous. "Don't think I won't figure it out."

I shook my head. "I can't do that, Anna, your marks have already suffered…"

I saw her fist fly at my face but I dodged it with ease, twisting out of the way as it arced towards my head. This seemed only to inflame Anna's anger more, as she did something I never would have guessed: she turned on her heel and walked away.

I stood alone in the sunlit hallway for what felt like eternity, my hand just barely touching the oaken door as I struggled to control my own anger. She had every right to be angry, but I was trying to protect her as best as I could. I had just never expected her to be so…coldly mature about it in the end.

My fingers clenched around the door handle, the solid metal groaning beneath my grasp before I ripped the knob clean off, heaving it straight for a statue the guarded the infirmary doors. I watched in slow motion as the marble cracked, the head falling backwards and shattering on the flagstone floor.

"Ooooh, naughty naughty! Did the little Draculina loose her temper?"

I turned see to Peeves bloated, luminescent form hovering to my left, my gun drawn before I even knew what I was doing.

Six shots rang out, exploding-tip bullets shattering the wood paneling behind the stunned poltergeist's head.

"There's more where that came from, you undead filth!" I roared, laughing with an insane glee as I reloaded. Peeves zoomed off, laughing as Dante wrenched open the door, dropping his cane to keep me from fully reloading the gun. Too late.

With a flick of my wrist the chamber was in place, Dante pushing me to the floor as my arm swung around to push him off. I smashed the butt of the pistol against his skull, breaking his skin as a few ruby droplets fell on my face. I could see that I'd hurt him greatly, but I didn't care right now.

"Give me the gun, Integra." He said tersely as Dr. Van der Zanden joined the fray. Dr. Van der Zanden managed to wrestle the heavy metal weapon out of my hand. I don't know if his hand slipped, or if he did it deliberately, but I heard a shot ring out.

I took the bullet square in the forehead, the bullet embedding itself the flagstone behind me. I could feel blood saturating my hair, spreading across the floor beneath me as I stared blankly at the ceiling.

Only a few times in my life had I felt pain that severe, and with anger surging through my body, my blood was leaking faster onto the floor. Within seconds, I was gone, turned into nothing but shadows and mist and leaving a pool of blood in my wake.

Dante was kneeling on his weak leg, looking stricken, his hand splayed in the stale blood. Anna had come back up the hallway at the sound of the scuffle, her books having falling to the ground in horror when the bullet pierced my skull. She thought I was dead, for sure.

I was thankful for my ability to transform, and my reflexes not getting too dulled from misuse, but I wasn't ready to go back yet. I was hurt and angry, and worst of all, full of foolish spite.

And on top of that, this was exactly the opportunity I had been waiting for.

XxX

Vampires rarely live past a hundred years on average. Albeit some credit goes to vampire hunters and other vampires and their petty wars, but honestly I don't believe now that any thing was meant to live over a century, much less a century and a half or more. Oftentimes, vampire will go mad and commit themselves to the flames. It certainly takes a true vampire; one that is strong in the heart and the head, to outlast the rest.

I knew that the Count had been around four hundred years old when I first met him, but he alluded to much older vampires on several rare occasions.

I also knew that if I were to combat these vampires, such as the one he feared and entrusted with the name 'Lillith', I would have to get stronger, to sharpen my mind and body. I never had been a particularly extraordinary girl. I didn't have Anna's brain or Dante's charm, but I had always been hard to kill, stout and stubborn. Even the Count commented that upon my First Death, I had somehow clung to life until the last possible moment, in spite of my apparent willingness to die in the months previous.

I don't actually recall much of what happened in the weeks following my disappearance, all of the moments blurring into oblivion. In one manner, my exile seemed to drag on for eternity, but in other manners, it didn't seem to take long at all.

I recall the chilly air of early Spring in the Forbidden Forest, traveling silently through Hogsmead, Dementors scattering and cowering in my wake.

I was covered in blood, wandering aimlessly through the night, sleeping in cemeteries and holes during the day. I wandered along long, paved muggle roads, highways, waiting for some unsuspecting good Samaritan to offer me a ride to the hospital.

I felt guilt for taking advantage of a Muggles faultless kindness like that. It was inexcusable, solely for selfish reasons, but now I understood why the Count had grown so powerful; the more lives I took, the more blood I drank, the stronger I got. He must have drank the blood of an entire nation!

I suppose I became some sort of 'urban legend', though there was hardly anything 'urban' about my hunting grounds. I would let families go, never preying on children; I would let them drop me off by the hospital, and then I would disappear into the night.

It was wonderful being free of the Ministry, being free of the worldly responsibilities I had been bridled with even in death, but I often thought about Anna and Dante. More than once, I would run across a couple, a brother and sister, or a small family that would remind me so strongly of them, I couldn't take their lives, out of something I liked to think was love. Though hindsight tells me it was simply cowardice and arrogance on my part.

My heart hurt knowing that Anna and Dante thought I was dead, and I worried about how it was impacting them. It had been stupid, spiteful, and impulsive, but it was my ticket away from the Ministry, now I could focus on hunting Lillith.

I felt weak and defenseless without my gun, and more than once, I contemplated returning to steal it back, but I knew full well Hogwarts was nearly impenetrable and I didn't think I could handle returning in my emotional state.

One night, on a lonely stretch of country road, I found myself wandering aimlessly, looking up at the moon, yellow with smoke from a nearby bonfire. I could hear an engine approaching one, maybe two miles away.

I stepped to the side of the road, walking along the gravel, the breeze sweeping my hair away from my face.

I could see the headlights shining past me, cutting through the darkness. I shielded my eyes as the car drew close, slowing to a crawl beside me, the smell of the oil and gasoline poisoning the air and clouding my senses.

"Hey baby, need a ride?" I glanced up, a red-haired teen leaning out of the window, his friends cheering and blowing catcalls. I was startled to hear a heavy, cockney accent this far north, but I hid my surprise with a coy smile.

"Oh, a ride would be lovely. I've been walking for so long…" I said softly, dropping my eyes to the ground and letting a slow, shy smile across my face. I was singing the same song, different audience.

"You're cute, love, where ya from?" One of the other boys asked, leaning past his friend.

"London…" I said, stopping when the car slowed to a halt. I knew they had no intention of giving me a ride anywhere…I knew guys like this.

The door opened and I got in, crawling across the laps of the guys to sit in the middle. I could smell their blood, thinned with cheap alcohol.

I sat back with a smile, the boys suddenly breaking into laughter. Without waiting a second, my smile never faltering, I tore into the neck of the boy on my left, draining him before the others had a chance to react. By the time I had gotten to the one on my right, the remaining two were beginning to panic, stopping the car and running out across the road, into a sheep fold.

They would be easy prey. I exited the car, chasing the boy that had been in the passenger seat across the field.

"You shouldn't pick on little girls." I whispered, pinning him to the ground and licking at his neck. He smelled of cheap vodka and laundry soap, his body and spirit deliciously innocent, yet tainted by his world.

I was startlingly gentle, using my mind against his as I drank form his neck. He submitted easily, and I felt guilt for doing so. These boys were really just innocent.
But had it been another girl they had encountered…

I finished, looking around for the last one, his scent lingering faintly. He had run into the trees, jumping the fence and leaving only his scent in his wake.

I paused for a second, contemplating leaving him alive; I didn't need more blood, I had drank enough to sustain myself. But it would be too cruel, after witnessing the deaths of his friends…

I followed him into the trees, his head start giving him ample time to make a futile attempt at hiding.

I stopped, looking around, trying to catch his scent.

I could smell a bird very close, a dove with an unusual scent, but the teen's scent was faint. I followed it into the trees, but stopped when I saw the boy laying in a clearing, struggling to get up, one hand clenched to his throat.

I ran closer, but he put up his fist, his hand firmly closed around a lighter, flicking it desperately.

"Get back, you monster!"

I paused walking around him in a circle.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, looking down at his neck. It had been slashed…another vampire had attacked him. "I'm the only one who can get you out…I'm the only one who can save you…you'll bleed out in less than a half hour…"

"I'll get myself out!" he snapped, desperately flicking the lighter. I stepped closer, knocking the lighter out of his hand and pulling the other away form his neck.

"You have lost far too much blood." I said softly, pulling his jumper off of his shoulders and pressing it to the wound. He winced, the generous rings in his ears glinting in the moonlight.

"Try to stay calm…tell me what you saw…who did this to you?"

"Take me to the hospital and I'll tell you." his voice was failing as he struggled to hold on; he was clinging desperately to life, all the while trying to maintain his pride.
I nodded, lifting him in my arms, taking him out to the main highway and flagging down a car.

I doubled back, kicking the front end of the car in and pushing it into the field, using the lighter to catch the engine on fire. I don't know why I spared the young man. There was really no reason other than pity…maybe seeing what happened to the Count had changed me, or perhaps experiencing my second death at the hands of Dr. Van der Zanden had softened me, and the thought of Anna and Dante had stayed my hand.

But I knew I was wrong. Sparing him had been especially cruel.

I continued to hunt, going as far as Northern Scotland so I wouldn't be found out. More than once, I contemplated heading south and into Europe, but the thought of getting caught by the Ministry at such an early stage didn't appeal to me. I hadn't had enough lives to make up for what they would do to me. There weren't enough lives in the world.

By now I had finally worked up the nerve to do entire families, pinning a string of house fires on a local street gang. I had even gotten a job as a muggle barista for a few weeks to cover myself.
At the coffee shop, I would choose my victims carefully: no regulars, always tourists, usually male.

Knowing that my exile had to end eventually, I turned back to Hogsmead within the month, arriving under a moonless night, the warm air making the world seem to move more slowly.

But I wasn't ready to return to Hogwarts just yet.

Perhaps I was being petty. I knew that they had appeared to be in pain as well, but Anna and Dante seemed to have found now companionship with Dr. Van der Zanden on the nights I found myself looking longingly into the castle windows.

For Dante, Dr. Van der Zanden seemed to be the functional father he had always been missing, and for Anna, he was a brilliant mind to be picked and prodded at. He was as good as a book to her, each new page chock-full of fascinating information.

The sting of replacement seemed to tear at me. I had never been good at making bonds, and to have my place in the trio so easily filled hurt deeply, so I emotionally turned my back on them, withdrawing further and further into the Forbidden Forest, with the rest of the evil that resided there.

This was a new idea for me. I had never viewed myself as evil, but now it seemed as though I was, and the desperate cries and whispers of the centaurs and spiders spoke of me as if I were some sort of wretched demon.

Perhaps that is what I had to become, then.

XxX

A/n: I spent the entire weekend chasing small children with sponges full of water. Didn't get much writing done :/ Trying for Tuesdays/Wednesdays for a chapter deadline, hoping it works!

Integra is so stupid. Seriously, she really should have just gone to the Library :3 But that's what Anna is for.