WARNING! This chapter is kind of angsty. You might want to keep a tissue handy due to character death.
My sincere thanks go to Sharon, who is not only my rock-star beta, but who has helped me keep the integrity of the story. You're the best, Babe!
Disclaimer: All JE's, blah, blah, blah.
LOVE IN THE WIND
Chapter 3
One week later, as promised, Lester accompanied Stephanie to the Manoso house for a family dinner. Stephanie was completely nauseated and wasn't sure if it was from the pregnancy or frayed nerves. Lester continued to reassure Steph that everything was going to be fine, but she wasn't so sure. Here she was, a virtual stranger to Ranger's parents about to announce that she was carrying their son's child; a son they most likely would never see again. What was fine about that?
Lester pulled up to the curb and killed the engine. He turned in his seat and gave Steph a long stare before speaking.
"How do you want to handle this? Do you want to tell them or do you want me to do it?" Lester asked.
Stephanie thought about this question. It would be easier just to let Lester take the reins and do all the talking. However, if she just stood there like a mute bump on the proverbial log, they'd think her stupid or weak. She got enough of that crap from her own mother. She didn't need to get it from Ranger's family, too.
"I'll tell them. After all, I'm the one carrying the baby," Steph said with a sigh.
"Smart girl. Now, let's go meet the family." Lester got out of the truck and helped Steph from her seat. He walked her up to the front door with his arm gently wrapped around her waist. Before he opened the door for her, he whispered in her ear.
"By the way, they refer to Ranger as Carlos. They won't get upset if you use his street name, they just prefer the name they gave him." Steph gave a small nod and made a mental note to abide by their wishes.
"Tia," Lester called out. "We're here."
"In the kitchen, mijo," came a female voice. Lester guided Steph into the kitchen to find an attractive woman in her mid fifties stirring a pot of beans. Upon their entry, she set down her spoon and gave Lester a hug.
"Tia, this is Stephanie Plum. Stephanie, this is Maria Manoso, Carlos' mother."
"It's nice to meet you," Stephanie said quietly, as she extended her hand. Maria took it in both hands and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"We've waited a long time to finally meet you, Stephanie. I'm glad you're here." Turning her head away from Stephanie, Maria called out. "Ricardo, I need you in the kitchen, por favor."
A moment later, an older version of Ranger walked into the kitchen. He had the same coloring and the same intense brown eyes, but his hair showed signs of graying.
"Ricardo, this is Stephanie. Stephanie, this is my husband, Ricardo," Maria introduced.
"Well, finally we get to meet you. I only wish my son had brought you around, but that's not your fault," Ricardo said as he shook Stephanie's hand. Steph tried to smile, but the tears in her eyes belied her sadness. Seeing the pain on Stephanie's face, Maria led her to a chair and gently sat her down.
"Stephanie, it is obvious you care a great deal about Carlos," Maria started softly. "It is also obvious that you are aware of the danger he's in right now." Stephanie could only manage to nod as she looked down at her hands in her lap.
"We must keep the faith that our Carlos will come home to us and not dwell on the negative." Maria took Stephanie's hands in hers and held them tight. "Can you do that?" Stephanie took a deep breath before answering.
"I would if that were the only thing," she whispered. Stephanie looked to Lester for courage who nodded at her to continue. She turned back to Maria and looked her straight in the eye.
"I'm… I'm pregnant." Stephanie hung her head as the tears silently streamed down her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this do you."
Maria looked at Ricardo then to Lester before turning back to Stephanie.
"Listen, mija. You haven't done anything to us and you should never apologize for bringing a child into the world," Maria said.
"You're not mad at me?" Steph asked looking up.
"How can I be mad when you're adding to my family? Of course, it's not the most conventional way, but Carlos has never done things the conventional way," Maria admitted with a small chuckle.
"I didn't mean for things to turn out this way," Stephanie said, still shocked that Ranger's parents weren't yelling at her.
"But this is the way it is," Maria said. "God always has a reason for doing what He does. We may not always understand it, but it doesn't make it less important."
"You're really okay with this?" Steph was completely stunned.
"Yes, we're okay with getting a new grandchild," Maria said, squeezing Steph's hands again. "How far along are you?"
"Five weeks," Stephanie said.
"Carlos has only been gone five weeks," Ricardo said.
"I know. He came to me the night before he left," Steph admitted.
"And he left you with a precious gift," Maria smiled.
"Here," Ricardo said as he handed Stephanie a handkerchief. "Dry your eyes, mija. There'll be no tears at my dinner table." Then he bent down and placed a kiss on the top of Stephanie's head.
Stephanie couldn't believe how well Ranger's parents were taking everything. She looked up at Lester to see him give her a wink and a smile.
"Come on, Lester," Ricardo said. "There's beer in the back and the women need to talk." Giving Stephanie one last smile, Lester followed his uncle to the backyard leaving Maria and Stephanie to get better acquainted.
"You know, we've heard a lot about you," Maria said, getting up to tend to the meal. "Not so much from Carlos, mind you, but Lester keeps us informed as much as he can."
"I didn't know," Steph said.
"I wouldn't expect you to. That's just Carlos' way. He always keeps things to himself. But I do know this; he cares for you a great deal. I can see it in his eyes whenever your name is mentioned."
"Really?"
"Mija, a mother knows these things. You'll learn, too. You'll learn to see things in your child no one else can. It's a gift that comes with motherhood."
Steph watched Maria closely. Although she was keeping a positive attitude about the baby, Steph could see the sadness in the older woman's eyes. Maria knew all too well that her son just might not make it back this time.
"Can I help you with anything? I'm not much of a cook, but…" Steph offered. Maria handed her the spoon she was using.
"Just stir the beans and don't let them burn on the bottom." Maria moved to the stove and pulled out a dish of enchiladas.
"Do you love my son?" Maria asked.
"Yes, very much." Steph said without hesitation. Maria just nodded at that.
"And you're willing to raise this child alone, if need be?"
Stephanie thought about that question a moment before answering.
"Well, this child and I won't be completely alone. I'm living at Rangeman now and the guys have promised to help out whenever I need it. Plus, I don't intend on keeping this baby away from you and the rest of your family."
Maria turned to Stephanie with tears in her eyes. She walked up to Stephanie and placed her hands on Steph's cheeks.
"Thank you, Stephanie. That means the world to me." Maria pulled her into a hug. The two just held each other for a moment as they shared their grief. Finally composing herself, Maria pulled back, wiped away her tears and smiled.
"I need to get this dinner on the table. Will you help me?"
"Of course," Steph said, helping Maria set the table. Once the last dish was in place, everyone was called to the table. Stephanie was introduced to Ranger's grandmother, Abuela Rosa. The old woman didn't speak much English, but was quickly informed of the situation. She looked at Stephanie and smiled, patting her hand in the kind way old women do.
The rest of the evening was a pleasant one. Maria and Ricardo took pleasure in telling tales on their son and other various members of the family. Even Lester got gently raked over the coals a couple of times. Although everyone kept the conversation light, Steph couldn't help but feel the underlying sadness that was in the air. It was the same sadness she'd been living with for the last five weeks.
When it was finally time to go, Maria invited Stephanie and Lester back for dinner on the following Saturday. The entire family was going to get together. Lester explained that it was something they did once a month stating that it kept everyone connected. Stephanie agreed to attend and bid everyone goodbye.
Once Lester got Steph safely buckled in the truck he turned to her with a big smile.
"See, Beautiful? I told you it would be okay."
"Yes, you did. Thank you for bringing me here. Ranger's family are really good people," Steph said with a smile.
"They're the best."
The ride back to Rangeman was quiet. Steph was tired and drifted off into a light sleep. She didn't wake up until Lester was pulling her from the truck. He escorted her to the seventh floor and made sure she would be okay. He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and left.
As she was getting ready for bed, Steph realized that, all things considering, it was the best she'd felt in five weeks.
Over the next several of months, Steph managed to work herself into a comfortable routine. She'd get up, have breakfast with Tank, Bobby and Lester then work a full day running skips and helping Tank with the daily office work. If she had a doctor's appointment, Bobby would drive her; if he wasn't available then Lester would take her.
In the evenings, she usually had dinner alone except when Lester would take her to the Manoso's once or twice a week. Dinner with her own family was kept at once or twice a month. Her mother still wasn't happy over the entire situation but she was slowly beginning to warm up to the idea. Stephanie was able to chip away even more ice when she showed Helen a picture of the ultrasound. As Helen looked at the tiny black and white photo, a smile began to spread across her face.
"Do you have room in that apartment for a nursery?" Helen asked.
"Yes, but I haven't started setting it up yet. Ranger used it as an office and I haven't had the courage to move anything yet," Steph admitted. "I figured the first couple of months the baby would be staying in the master bedroom with me anyway so I still have time."
"Time will go quicker than you think, Stephanie. You really should start working on the nursery. Babies require a lot of things and you'll need proper places to store everything." It was the first time Helen had said anything about the baby without being judgmental or sarcastic. Stephanie took it as a sign of progress.
As much as she hated to admit it, though, her mother was right. The baby was going to need its own space and soon. Steph was just going to have to find the nerve to transform Ranger's office into their child's nursery, but it wasn't going to be easy.
Where progress was slow with her mother, Ranger's family was all a buzz at the news that Steph was pregnant. She was always invited to dinner, which resembled more of a company potluck than a family meal. Ranger's sisters offered to help with the nursery and the baby shower, and Maria was teaching Steph the finer points to Cuban cooking.
Steph didn't mind all the attention. It was a nice escape from the reality that Ranger wasn't there. However, thoughts of him were never far from her mind. She figured his family was feeling the same way and was happy to provide some kind of distraction.
Steph was four months along in her pregnancy and definitely beginning to show. She was looking at a baby furniture catalogue when her cell phone chirped. She looked down and saw that she had a text message from Tank asking her to come to his office. Thinking it strange that he just didn't use the office phone, she got up and headed in his direction.
"You wanted to see…" Steph started. She took one look at Tank's face and knew why he wanted to see her.
"I just got a call from the General's office," Tank said softly.
"No," she whispered.
"Ranger's mission is over," he added, his voice shaky.
"No," she said a little louder.
"I'm sorry, Steph," Tank choked.
"No," she started shaking her head.
"Ranger didn't make it."
"Nooooo!" Steph screamed and sank to the ground.
Hearing Steph scream, Bobby and Lester came crashing into Tank's office. One look at Tank and the two men knew what had happened.
Ranger was dead.
Bobby tended to Steph on the floor while Lester and Tank just stared at each other. Lester turned away first, swearing.
"Fuck! It wasn't supposed to be like this," Lester said. "He was supposed to retire, turn this company into an empire, marry Steph…" Lester couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down his face.
Ranger was gone.
Ranger had been his friend, his mentor, his family and now he was gone. How could someone who was so full of life, who had been larger than life, just be gone? Lester turned back to Tank and saw that he, too, had tears streaming down his face. Then Lester looked down at Stephanie sitting on the floor, sobbing in Bobby arms. Her loss was the most cruel of all, because she carried a child that would never know its father.
Lester sat down on the floor next to Steph and pulled her from Bobby's lap into his own. He wrapped her up in his strong arms and rocked her as they both cried. After what seemed like forever, Steph's sobs finally subsided to small whimpers though her body still shook with grief. Bobby was finally the one to break the silence.
"When will Ranger's body be shipped back home?"
"It won't," Tank said quietly. "There was too much destruction. There wasn't anything left of the building let alone bodies to recover."
Steph looked up at that piece of information.
"Then there's still a chance that he's alive," she said, with new hope in her voice.
"I'm afraid not, Bomber," Tank said sullenly. "The General said it was total devastation. The only thing of Ranger they found was his dog tags. They're the only thing that's being shipped back."
"But they could have come off. Ranger could still be out there. Just because all they found were his tags doesn't mean he's dead. He could be hurt somewhere or trying to make it back home." Steph was desperate to hold onto any hope she could find. She just wasn't willing to let Ranger go that easily.
"I wish it were that simple, Steph, but it's not," Tank said. He really hated having to explain how Ranger's death was verified, but he had no choice. He couldn't allow her to hold onto hope when no hope existed.
"The MO Team was in place when the mission went down. The building was completely leveled. No one got out. No one could get out," Tank said.
"MO Team?" Steph asked.
"Mission Observation Team. Sometimes they're called in to witness that a mission is executed properly and to report the outcome," Tank explained.
"You mean they sat on their asses and just watched Ranger die? What kind of cold-hearted, fucking son of a bitch just watches one of their own die? Why didn't they do anything to save him?" Steph cried out angrily.
"Those were the orders, Steph. I'm sorry," Tank whispered. Her hopes dashed again, Stephanie buried her face in Lester's chest and began crying again.
Bobby was concerned that the stress Steph was going through could hurt the baby so he decided to give her a mild sedative to calm her down. When Lester felt Steph's body finally relax, he got up and carrier her to the elevators.
As he passed through the control room, the sadness and grief from the rest of the men was so tangible, Lester almost choked on it. As he approached the double doors leading to the elevators, Cal got up and held them open. Neither man spoke, but they didn't have to. The pain of Ranger's death ripped through everyone like a knife and left wounds that would never heal.
When Lester got to the seventh floor apartment, he let himself in and carried Steph to the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed. She wasn't completely unconscious and whimpered from the loss of Lester's comfort and the loss of Ranger from her life. Unwilling to leave her alone, Lester kicked off his boots and laid down beside Steph, pulling her close to him. His tears soaked the pillow as Steph fell into a fitful sleep.
For the next two days, Stephanie never left the apartment. She seldom left the bed and wouldn't have eaten if it hadn't been for Lester. Ella would bring food up and Lester would force her to eat it. She had already lost Ranger; Lester would be damned first before allowing her to lose the baby, too. So he stayed by her side, watching over her and taking care of her the best he could.
That evening, Tank came by the apartment. He needed to let them both know about the funeral the next day and to give Stephanie something.
"She's in bed, but probably awake," Lester told his friend. "Don't be surprised if she doesn't say much." Lester noticed that Tank looked every bit as he felt. Like shit.
Tank and Ranger had become best friends during their training to become Army Rangers. They'd served several missions together and had lost count how many times each had saved the other's life. Lester knew that Tank was wishing that he'd been there to watch Ranger's back. Of course, had that happened, there would be two funerals now instead of just one.
Tank entered the bedroom and sat on the bed facing Stephanie. Her eyes were open and she was rubbing her belly in slow, methodical circles.
"Hey, Bomber," he said softly.
Steph moved her eyes up and focused on the man sitting next to her. Her expression never changed and she didn't utter a word.
"I have something for you."
Tank took the hand that had been rubbing her belly and placed something cold and metal in it. Steph looked down and saw that it was Ranger's dog tags. She ran her thumb across the embossed words and noticed that the metal was scorched and nicked. She closed her hand around the tags and began to cry softly.
Tank had originally planned on giving the tags to Ranger's parents, but when he had informed them that he had them, Maria had said to give them to Stephanie instead. Already having mementos from Ranger's entire life, Maria felt that Stephanie needed the tags more than they did.
"The funeral is set for tomorrow morning," Tank whispered. "The family is requesting that you be there. Think you can handle it?"
"What the fuck do you think, Tank?" Steph asked. "Ranger is dead. Can you handle it?" Stephanie's anger washed over Tank like a cold, hard wave.
"The funeral is at eleven tomorrow morning." Not knowing what else to say, Tank bent down to place a light kiss on Steph's forehead. To his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. Tank raised up and pulled her into his lap. He rocked her in his arms as his own tears fell and mixed with hers. He wondered if any of them would ever fully recover from Ranger's death, if the huge hole in their lives left by Ranger would ever close. With a shaky breath, Tank sighed. It was highly doubtful.
The next morning, half of Trenton showed up for Ranger's funeral. Steph was amazed at how many lives her 'Man in Black' had touched. There were even several members of the military she didn't recognize; probably members of the Rangers unit of which Ranger had served.
The service was beautiful but somber, with friends and family members sharing their most special memories. When the last eulogy was given Tank, Bobby and Lester, all wearing their dress uniforms, joined Ranger's brother and two other cousins as pall bearers and quietly carried Ranger's coffin to the hearse.
Once at the grave site, Steph sat in the front row between Maria Manoso and Lester. Her own family was in attendance but Steph drew more comfort from the people who had been the closest to Ranger.
After the minister had given the last prayer, two service men proceeded to ceremoniously fold the American flag that been draped over Ranger's casket. Once the flag was properly folded, one of the men turned and approached Stephanie.
"Ms. Plum," he started. "On behalf of the United States Army, we present you with this flag." The solider bent down to hand Stephanie the flag. Completely confused, she began to argue.
"This should be given to his mother," she said softly, not wanting to cause a scene.
"With all due respect, ma'am, the family has requested that the flag be presented to you." The solider moved the flag just a little closer to Stephanie, who turned to Maria sitting next to her.
"I don't understand, I wasn't his wife," she said through tears.
"No, but you should have been. And you're carrying his child, a child that is going to need something of its father's," Maria explained, through her own tears.
Touched by Maria's love and kindness, Steph turned back to the solider and accepted the flag. Clutching it close to her chest, Steph's body began to shake as a fresh wave of grief washed over her. Lester wrapped an arm around her shoulder as she silently cried.
The congregation was asked to stand as seven soldiers gave a twenty-one gun salute. As each bullet was fired, Steph could feel them rip through her heart. Steph would have sank to her knees had it not been for Lester holding her as Ranger's coffin was lowered while a bugle-man played Taps.
Finally, the crowd began to disburse, some heading home while others headed to the Manoso home for refreshments and reflection. But Steph didn't move from her chair. She sat, still clutching the flag and wishing against all hope that none of this was real.
Her parents tried to get her to come home with them but she refused. So they kissed her goodbye and told her to call them if she needed anything.
Connie and Lula tried to get her to join them at the Manoso's but got the same reaction. She just wasn't ready to leave Ranger's coffin, although she knew he wasn't in it. It was a fact of which not too many people were aware.
After another half hour of sitting quietly, Steph finally got up. She approached the lowered coffin and gave a deep sigh. Kissing the rose that had been in her lap, she tossed it into the grave and said her final goodbye.
She turned and headed to the waiting car when Joe approached her. Immediately, six Rangemen were by her side. Joe looked somewhat annoyed, but could understand them wanting to protect her. However, he wasn't going to let it stop him from what he wanted to say.
"Hey, Cupcake. I'm so sorry for everything," he started. He knew it was lame but he meant every word. She just nodded at him.
"Look, if there's anything you need, you just call me, okay?" Joe looked down at her growing belly. "And I mean anything; pickles and ice cream, a shoulder to cry on, you just call me. I don't care what time it is."
"She'll be fine, Morelli," Lester growled.
"Les, please," Steph said as she placed a hand on his arm. "I can handle this." Turning to Joe, she offered him a small smile. "Thank you, Joe. I appreciate it. I'll let you know if I need anything."
Joe gave her a small smile of his own. He knew Steph's pain ran deep. He'd seen the same look on the wives of cops who had been killed in the line of duty and this was no different. Joe pulled her close and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead before running a finger across the dog tags she wore around her neck.
"You keep him close to your heart, Steph. And remember, a piece of him still lives through your baby." Joe gave her another kiss then turned and walked away as a single tear fell down Steph's cheek.
Joe was right. A piece of Ranger would live on through the child they'd created.
A child created from love.