Chapter Five: The Situation Escalators

[Oh no, not this again! Fine… *sigh* Happy Tree Friends is Mondo Media's brainchild and wunderkind. Skitchy the Skunk and Juniper the Beaver are belong to me. This story is not canon, but the following characters are: Flippy, Petunia, Giggles, Flaky, Cuddles, Mime, and Toothy. Let the show commence!]

Skitchy could finally relax after Petunia and he were settled in their seats. They were early enough that the previews had not yet begun, and Petunia took this time to play the trivia slideshow game that the theater put up to kill time.

"Jessica Rabbit!" the azure skunk declared, completely confident that her answer to the question, "Who played Brittney Hunter in 'Shades of Beige'?" was correct.

The slide changed, and the answer was revealed to be 'Dot Warner'.

"Oh shoot," Petunia huffed, disappointed. "I thought for sure I had that one!"

Skitchy had no interest whatsoever in Hollywood trivia, and so sipped quietly at his soda, content to admire Petunia's beauty in silence.

"Hey, the previews are starting!" Skitchy's date announced to no one in particular.

Indeed Petunia was right, for there on the screen appeared that oh-so-familiar slide of green backdrop and white text reading 'This preview has been approved for all audiences'.

Skitchy always zoned out when the previews came on, but Petunia reacted strongly, making comments and generally talking when she shouldn't. The orange skunk became impatient for the feature to start, but remained still.

Closer to the screen, and chomping away at a large bag of popcorn sat a cheerful Flippy, resplendent in his signature military fatigues and beret. Although he was alone this day, the light green bear was in quite merry spirits. He laughed at the comedy previews, gasped at the scary ones, and almost cried at a drama. Then it was time for the feature presentation to begin.

Scene opens on a campground in the woods at night. Five teenagers (played by Mime, Cuddles, Toothy, Giggles, and Flaky) are seated around a campfire, roasting marshmallows and shooting the breeze.

"Eh heh heh heh," Flaky gives her trademark nervous laugh. "Well this is… nice… thanks for inviting me, Brandon."

"No problem, Sarah," Cuddles (Brandon) replied, his arm around Giggles. "Glad you and Phil could make it."

Toothy smiled at Flaky (Sarah) who returned the gesture.

"So what about that story you were gonna tell me?" Toothy asked Cuddles.

"Ah yes, the legend of these very woods," "Brandon" began, voice intentionally changed to a creepy, mysterious tone. "It all started about fifteen years ago…"

Flippy grinned as the actors onscreen became more and more frightened by Cuddles' tale. Even though the plot was severely hackneyed, and the actors weren't very good, Flippy found himself enjoying the picture immensely.

Meanwhile, Petunia and Skitchy sat shivering; scared by the movie in spite of their own maturity. Although it was a rather obvious set-up, the two jumped when the killer first popped out from behind a tree. Petunia held back a shriek and covered her eyes, while Skitchy was too afraid to move. The rest of the movie followed the typical slasher formula, and even with this being the case, Skitchy and Petunia were scared by every murder and/or surprise all the same.

Flippy smiled to himself throughout the film, and at every death scene he chuckled darkly.

Once the credits had begun to roll with a backdrop of dripping blood and heavy metal music, the audience warily left the theater and headed for their homes and/or vehicles. Petunia clutched Skitchy's arm in fright, while the orange skunk trembled in the aftermath of the violence he had just witnessed.

"Well… that was certainly scarier than I had expected!" the shaken skunk commented to his date.

"You weenie," the female condescended, even though she herself was just as terrified. "It's only a movie!"

"I know… but still!"

Flippy overheard the skunks' conversation as he was behind them in the throng exiting the theater and smiled to himself.

The youth of today… he thought. They're all soft!

Back at Skitchy's house…

The tangerine skunk and the sapphire one exited the sports car simultaneously. Petunia walked with Skitchy to his door, and the two paused awkwardly.

"Um, thanks for the… uh, date… Petunia," Skitchy faltered, eyes glued to his doormat. "It was… really nice."

"Yeah… I mean, you're welcome. Um… can I… come in?" the female looked hopefully at the bashful skater who struggled to make eye contact.

"Ye-ye-yeah…" he stammered, even more overcome by shyness. "I suppose…"

They entered, and sat beside each other on the one modest sofa in the living room. At first the two couldn't look at each other, and simply sat silently.

"Um, would you like… something to drink?" Skitchy asked after a moment. "We have orange juice… water… milk…"

"Just water, please," Petunia replied. "Thank you."

Skitchy left to fetch the drink while Petunia had some alone time to think; and think she did.

That was a pretty scary movie, she reflected. But I could've played a much more convincing female lead! Giggles was okay, I suppose. Anyway, I was surprised Skitchy didn't try to hold my hand or anything during the really frightening bits. I guess he really was scared! Hmm… still, he's totally cute. Maybe…

Petunia was shaken out of her meditation by the return of her date that came bearing clear glasses of iced water for the two of them. As he returned to his seat, Petunia faced him with a rather serious look on her face.

"Skitchy, I think we need to talk," she stated flatly, causing the other skunk's visage to wrinkle slightly in curiosity.

"Um… what about?" he asked nervously, hands fidgeting.

"You and me," Petunia replied. "We… that is, I'd like to…" she took a deep breath, then blurted, "I'dlikeustobeacouple."

Skitchy blinked, unsure of what the flower-wearing female had just said. "Um… what?"

"I'd like us to be a couple," Petunia repeated. "That is, if you don't mind, of course."

"Oh…" Skitchy's brain had to adjust for a while, letting her sentiments sink in. "Oh… okay… um…"

"Great!" she grinned broadly. "Now would be a perfect time, then, to…"

Petunia leaned in to the dumbstruck Skitchy and kissed him deeply on the mouth. The orange skunk froze in surprise, but as a pleasant and warm sensation began to envelope his body, he managed to return the kiss as the two skunks embraced on the plain couch.

"Oh, it's getting late!" Petunia declared after they had parted. "I'd better get some rest, it's my shift tomorrow! Bye, Skitchy… and thanks…"

Skitchy was left speechless by Petunia's actions, and could only nod feebly after the female skunk vacated his home, leaving behind her a pine-fresh scent.

After that night, Skitchy and Petunia's relationship became significantly steadier. They went on dinner dates, saw more films at the theater, and just spent time together in general. No two Tree Friends could be happier. But then, one day…

***Psych! You'll just have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happens! Sorry, but that's the way it is. Yep, there's Flippy here, for no apparent reason (yet!), and it's kind of a short chap, but yeah, see you soon!