July 28th, 2007
Now, you're all probably wondering, "Oh--where did Spider-Man go for so long?"
Oh, I don't know, how about...in prison?
Yeah. Prison. Go figure.
I was neutralized by some special agents while swinging around town, and I woke up in a maximum-security prison for superhumans known as the Raft. This is a branch of the conventional correction center, Riker's Island, but made just for superhumans.
What I was doing there, I had no idea.
After banging on the door long enough, some guard came. I asked him where I was, what I was doing here, etc. He's just like "You're in the Raft. Everything else is classified."
Well, well, well. Classified, eh?
Sure enough, who else came by Nick Fury. I really, really, really don't like this guy.
I asked him why he was here instead of whoever was in charge. Apparently, they had come to him with help of my arrest. A guy dressed as me planned a terrorist attack, with bombs and everything. He had it all planned out so he would go where I already was--and then he'd run and hide while they arrest me.
I tried to explain the whole, You Know How Many Clones I Have. Nick Fury apologized, but until they found real proof that it wasn't me, then I literally had to rot in a cell and wait.
So I rotted in a cell and waited.
Mysterio was a few rooms down from me. When he found out, boy, the entire place went nuts--since I put most of them in there to start with. They had to move me to a "special" wing. They put these special restraints on my hands so I couldn't stick to walls, they took away my web shooters, they had a barrier that blocked my spider-sense--they had the entire thing down-pat.
And the food there sucks.
They allowed me one call, and oh, the lies I had to create. My imagination must be working 24/7 to come up with the crap that it does.
Sure enough, they found the culprit. It was the Chameleon. Again!
When they opened my cell I was like, When The Heck Are You People Gonna Learn?
It was totally ol' Change-o's style, too. Weapons, not superpowers. That's how he does it. I saw them drag him into the prison when I was being released. He gave me an evil stink-eye. I rolled up my mask and stuck my tongue out at him.
I swear, though. If I get arrest one more time I am going to explode!
COMMENTS:
(subj:none)
You must be understanding, Spider-Man. They are only doing their job. You must be calm and patient until order is restored.
--Tony Stark
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(subj:oh!)
So that's where you were! I was wondering, since no one had seen you swingin' around for a while. That sucks majorly.
--John-nay Storm
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(subj:blog)
Do you really think posting this so the entire world can read it is a wise idea?
--Nick Fury, SHIELD
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(subj:RE:blog)
Uh, um...let me think...
Uh, yeah.
--Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man