CHAPTER 15
If time could be slowed, it had chosen the worst of times to do so. It was as if the whole world around them had come to a slow stop and they were the only ones left staring at each other.
Then, before Hermione knew what was happening, Declan was standing between them, gently taking Hermione by the arm and leading her away while Draco stood standing where he was, the hand that had been holding hers dropped away as if it had forgotten it held anything at all.
Hermione turned her head to see the other woman approach Draco, but it was as if the time pause had been put into play, people began to move as the distance between her and Draco became further and further apart and her view was blocked. It seemed to her, as she turned back to keep walking, that the distance created then was not just in a physical sense but an emotional one as well.
"Was that her?" She asked quietly when Declan led her out onto the closed balcony of the ballroom.
Declan nodded, not asking who the 'her' she was referring to was. Hermione looked up and stared at the night sky, ignoring the cold winter chill around her. Declan leaned against the balcony and began to light a cigarette, blowing out a small cloud of some, letting the smell of tobacco fill the night air.
"What happened to them?"
Declan let out another puff of smoke before turning to look at her with sadden eyes. "Drake doesn't talk much about it."
"I see."
"Don't look so down. I'm sure they're just bringing their past relationship to a close."
Hermione said nothing as she continued to look up into the dark sky.
"Want to go inside now? We've been out here for awhile."
She nodded, waiting for Declan to crush his cigarette underfoot before following him back into the crowded room of voices, bodies, and music.
When the dinner bell rang, Draco was nowhere to found, and neither was the woman in the burgundy dress. Hermione's smile became less real, and more fake as the time began to pass. Lucas and Narcissa had gone home before dinner, leaving the brothers to keep her company with Lacy and Bradley.
"You okay Mya?"
Hermione blinked and looked over at her brother.
"Yes." She lied.
"Where's Malfoy? I haven't seen him since you came in with him."
"He's—"
But Bradley was no longer listening to her answer, he was looking past her and his eyes had gone from bored to angry. He shot out of his chair and took two strides past Hermione before she caught him by the arm to stop him.
"Bradley, what are you—"
There was no need to ask the question as she turned to see why he had gotten so mad.
Draco was holding the woman in the burgundy dress in his arms, and he was kissing her.
All at once there were flashes and then a crowd separated Hermione's view, but not before Draco looked over and caught her eye. She turned away and blindly pushed past a couple, stumbling to get out of the ballroom and away from everything.
"Hermione!"
She heard her name, but did not stop. When she made it past the ballroom doors and into the empty hall she stopped to choke back a sob, leaning against the wall for support.
"Hermione!"
Slowly she straightened and turned around to face Bradley and Lacy, who were coming her way.
"Are you alright?" Bradley asked, reaching out to her, but she backed away from him, her arms going around herself to keep from breaking down in front of them.
She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Slowly she gave Lacy an apologetic smile and turned her back to them, heading for the exit.
"Hermione!" Bradley called and began to follow, but Lacy held him back.
"I don't think—" She began.
"I don't want anyone in your family near my sister; tell that to your bastard of a brother." He said down at her then left her standing alone as he went after Hermione.
Lacy stared at his retreating back, taken aback by his harsh attitude.
"Lacy!"
She turned to see Draco silent and unreadable as he stared down the empty hall, with the rest of her brothers.
"How could you?" She asked in a whisper, her eyes accusing him of his crime.
He said nothing as he walked past her.
"We're never going to see her again." She said after him, "You've ruined the only real relationship you've ever had just because that cheap slut came crawling back to you."
Draco turned around, eyes as cold as ice as he raised a hand to strike her.
"Draco!" Came three different voiced.
His hand stopped in mid-air, shaking with anger. Slowly he lowered it and stared at his brothers and his sister, then in shame he lowered his head and stared at his hands.
Hermione walked into the empty house and into her room. She closed the door silently behind her and locked it, then slowly sank to the ground and hugged her knees to her chest.
Slowly she closed her eyes and counted to then, trying to not let the tears roll down her cheek, as they had done on her way back to the house.
She had forced Bradley to go home and made him swear to tell the family nothing; he was defiant and had argued every step of the way, but seeing that she was going to change her mind about anything he set for home with a grim expression and a few words under his breath.
Minutes turned to hours until finally she heard his footfalls in the hall. Then she heard a soft tap on her door, her whole body went tense as she waited for another tap.
"Hermione, open the door." His voice came from the other side; soft, low, and coated with concern.
She gave no answer as she picked herself up from the floor and made it to the bed, burying herself under the blanked. She heard the turning of the doorknob and the little rattle of the door when he tried to open it. Her breath held as she waited for a second attempt to open the door, but none came.
So he had given up already, she thought, and tried not to bury herself in self pity as she turned her back to the door and closed her eyes to keep out the overwhelming tears.
In what seemed like seconds later she heard the turning of a key and then the opening of her door. The soft glow of the hall light filled her doorway, but she made no move to turn and face whoever it was at the door. The thudding of soft footsteps came to a stop at the side of her bed and a hand came to rest on her shoulder, but she shook it off and moved away from his touch.
"Don't touch me." She whispered.
She did not see the pained expression on his face as he pulled back his hand, stuffing them in his pockets as he stared down at the wood flooring.
He had left the ball just after she had, but had gone to a bar instead of heading home, knowing that what he had doe had been wrong. He had finished four glasses of whiskey before his brothers found him and dragged him out of the bar. The whiskey had done nothing to calm his senses or his mind.
Declan had dropped him off and offered a quiet word of advice, but it seemed the advice had not worked. Nothing went as planned if it involved Hermione.
"Hermione, I—"
"I'm tired. Can you just leave me alone?" Came her muffled reply.
He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, that he had felt nothing while kissing the other woman, but no words came out of his mouth. Sorry did not come easily to him, he had never needed to apologize for anything he did but it seemed with her it was different.
"We'll talk tomorrow." He said quietly and then left her.
After he left Hermione drew back the covers and stared up into the dark ceiling. Some dreams were just too hard to be made real, and she realized that this was one of them. It was always just a dream anyways, she thought, from the beginning it was a dream.
"Morning." She said politely as she set a cup of steaming coffee on the table.
Draco said nothing, he continued to stand watching her with clouded eyes.
This morning he wore black, from head to toe, even his watch was set in a dark gray color. It was as if he were going to a funeral, or saying goodbye to something that had come to an end. The one piece of jewelry he had on was the wedding band on his finger, platinum and birhgt, throwing off the whole outfit.
"We should talke about last night." He said, still standing as he looked down at her.
Hermione shrugged, "There's nothing to talk about." She said and began to eat her small breakfast.
"Tinkerbelle." His voice was low, a soft warning.
She set down her fork and spoon and finally looked up at him. "You don't have to explain anything to me. Number three on the contract: we respect each other's privacy."
He looked like he wanted to his something. "I don't give a damn about the contract. What you saw at the ball with Jessica was—"
"So that's her name." She said quietly and picked up her fork and spoon again.
"Listen to me, damn it!" He took the utensils away from her and threw them onto the floor.
Hermione jumped up slightly and then slowly stood up to face him.
"It was just a friendly kiss." He began.
Hermione nodded. "Right. Friends kiss each other with tongue and teeth in front of the whole god-forsaken world."
Draco stared down at her, tight lipped, "It was supposed to be a friendly kiss, but Jessica—"
"I don't care. This," She said as she pulled the wedding band off her finger to show him, "This is not real. You and I are not real. The only real thing is that piece of paper with our names written on it, which will be void after a year and a day. So, you don't have to tell me you're out with Jessica or whomever else you choose to be with. There are exactly one hundred and five days left of this marriage and you kissing that woman yesterday is just one reason I can say to my family why we dissolve the marriage. So you don't have to explain anything to me."
He stared at her his face expressionless. "I'm going out of town for a few days." Was all he said before he turned his back on her and left.
Hermione waited for the screeching of the wheels from his car before letting her tears fall.
Draco's few days turned into two weeks. December changed into January and the one hundred five days turned into eighty.
Whenever home together they never spoke more words then necessary. Their friendly relationship had changed in a flash, and now they were just two strangers living together in the same house.
The days grew longer and the nights silent. There was no more teasing or laughter within the house. Only when she visited with family was she able to smile and laugh and even then it had been strained.
Bradley had kept his promise to Hermione, not saying anything to their family. Everyone thought she was still happily in love with her husband, she almost laughed at the thought, their acting could win an Academy.
How did it come to this? She thought. Everything had gone so well, it almost seemed as if they really were a real and happy married couple together.
Why do we lie to cover up our failures? She thought. Why do we lie to make ourselves feel better? Because she knew she was lying every time she looked at him and said she did not still love him.
"Mrs. M?"
She looked up from her work at the counter to see Jay with a box of books.
"Sorry, Jay. What did you ask?"
"Where would you like me to set the boxes?"
"Out in the back. Thanks."
The teenage boy nodded, giving her a smile before heading out back with the box of books.
She had decided to close the shop, since she would longer be living near the shop. When she told Jay, he had been disappointed, not because he would be out of work, but because she would be leaving. It was going to be hard to let go of all the things she had come to love in the past year, but nothing stays forever. She looked back up when she heard the back door open and close with Jay coming back in.
"Thanks for helping me clean up, Jay."
"Nothing to it." He said, taking a look around the almost empty shop, 'I'm going to miss coming here every day after school."
Hermione gave him a sad smile, "Me too."
"Jay."
"Yes, Mrs. M?"
"I have something for you." She said and reached back into the box she had before her for a book.
She watched as the boys face lit up when she handed him the new book.
"I've been waiting for this edition." He said looking up at her with stars in his eyes. "Thanks."
She nodded and watched as he opened the front cover to read what was written on the inside.
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly
Hold fast to dreams
Life is like a barren field frozen with snow
-Langston Hughes.
How ironic, she thought, that she had written down a poem to give to a friend about dreams, when she herself have given up on one.
January gave away to February and the time for the separation came closer and closer with each passing day.
Hermione walked alone down the silent hall and walked into the sun filled room where she and Draco had first stood on that first day. This day the sky was blue and the sun low but bright. The room was cool, but the rays from the sun warmed her skin as she looked out at the snow covered hills and the dark sea.
The room had become her special place to go to when she was lonely. It had become her solace, her little piece of heaven with the house. She was able to relax and for once forget about the charade, and the worried of the future.
She was still standing beside the wide window when Draco came home after a three hour meeting at the office. He simply stopped to watch as she watched the outside world. There was the smallest of smiles on her face as she pressed her forehead to the glass, watching a pair of squirrels scramble for food. She was like a woodland pixie, stuck within the confinements of glass and walls, looking out.
Was that how she had felt while living here with him? Is that why she so easily accepted that their year and day were coming to an end, so that she would be free of him?
It was as if he had spoken out loud because she tensed and then slowly turned to face him. And when he saw her at that moment, he hated himself for avoiding her and for not speaking to her. He hated himself for causing her all the pain and loneliness, all because of his selfishness.
They stared at each other, seeing each other for the first time since that day, and for the first time in the past weeks they saw each other without concern or worries of the future, they only saw each other and their unspeakable feelings.
She did not know who moved first, him or her, but the soft touching of lip against lip, of lip against skin was too overwhelming for her to think anything else but them.
What was he doing to her? Making her feel things she had never felt before, longing for things forbidded to her, to them. But just once, even if it was all just an illusion, she wanted to let all of her emotions out. Maybe she would regret things later, and maybe he would too, but right now there was only him and her and everything they had left unsaid.
So she let him kiss her, touch her, she let herself fall under his spell, his enchantment and followed the time old call of lust or love, she did not know.
In the morning neither of them spoke or acknowledged what had just happened the night before. Silently they put on their clothes and walked away.
After that day everything they did they did in a more distant manner; avoiding each other at all costs, never coming too close together to touch, because they had killed anything that was left of their so called relationship, or so they thought. And neither knew that the other was pulling a long face because their hearts were breaking and neither dared to question the other. Life would go on and the past year would be no more but an unwanted memory.
AN: Hope you like it! Sorry for the long wait!
My work kept me busy this week!
I cried writing this chapter so I hope it brings tears to your eyes.
I will be replying to your reviews later tonight also maybe with another chapter..
Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!