Fading Hope

I don't own Xena or an original joke to put here.

(for the first time in my writing career, i have to admit to subtext. It's there, you'll see it. I didn't even do it on purpose, but it's there)

Late that night, Gabrielle continued to care for Xena who was now at the end of her rope. Gabrielle said "Xena, I've learned since I've been a doctor that if people talk to people they love that are in your condition, it can sometimes help. I love you Xena. I loved you from the beginning. I could see that you were my destiny, that's why I followed you.

You were there for me, you gave me more than just friendship. You gave me love, not that my family didn't love me, it's just it was different with you. You gave me another kind of love. People have always loved me Xena. But I still had a void, while I was loved by all these people, I couldn't fell it. I had a hole in me, that seemed to suck it away from me.

But when you loved me, you gave me so much love that you filled that hole. When you died, first when I had been with you just under two years and again seven years ago, it was like someone came and stole that love from me, emptied that hole with in me. You came back the first time so you filled that void again, I didn't even think about it.

Until a little over seven years ago. In Japan. You died and you didn't come back. I fell apart. I became a foul mouthed drunkard and a murderer. I was trying to drink myself to death. Hoping to end this life once and for all. But then I met Ellander, and by the Gods I tried to get rid of him. I cussed at him, I attacked him, I even broke his nose. But he wouldn't leave. He just sat there, took it, all because he saw my suffering and cared enough not to cast me aside to my fate.

That day I jumped from the ship and he caught me, that was the day. That was the day, for the first time I felt something other than my suffering.

8

Gabrielle POV

Why did you save me? Because you cared. What a fool, do you not see that life is nothing but a trap to terrorize your soul? Life gives you people who you love and care for and then takes them away. Why? So you could suffer. I hate life. But why do you give a damn. I'm a fucking wretch.

He continued to wipe the blood off of me as until the blood stopped flowing. My sorrow, my sadness, it will not stop flowing. Finally I got my self up, a little sore, after all I banged my head on the ship. He asked "Now your not going to try that again, are you?" I shook my head no but I just might when your not around.

I walked with him down the ship as I listen to him talk. It was casual stuff. About his life. I had to admit, I was starting to like him. Course him saving me from suicide helps but it was more. I had to admit he wasn't that ordinary smelly pig headed man that I'm used to. Nor was he this blundering dolt such as Joxer, and he wasn't this debonair, chauvinist, selfish, thieving type such as Autolycus.

He was intelligent, he was able, he had a heart, compassion, a love for life. All these things I had, but I had lost. I began to fall for him, but I fought it. After Xena, I couldn't imagine spending my life with a man.

Over time as the voyage continued he was always there for me. Talking to me, keeping me company. It was a few hours before we landed that I made a discovery that surprised me..

I was looking through his things, which I shouldn't have been, but I was. I was hoping to find a couple denar so I could buy a drink. Then I made a discovery. I picked up a piece of Parchment, it was in Latin, the language of the Romans. I read the title "A Day in a life", by Gabrielle, bard and teller of tales of the journey of Xena. Then I noticed a second note. Translated to Latin by Ellander, Traveling Merchant from Macedonia. I was a gasp. He was translating my scrolls. I had wrote mine in Greek, I could speak and write Latin (somewhere around mine and Xena's crucifixion I learned Egyptian), but I wrote my scrolls in Greek because we primarily operated in Greece and I myself was Greek.

Ellander entered the room. He stopped in asking, "What where you doing?"

I decided for honesty. I told him, "I was looking for a denary so I could get a drink, I'm sorry, but I found this. A scroll of mine being translated. You don't have the last paragraph right you know." He did not act as if he was bothered by my attempt to steal from him, but he grabbed the scroll out of my hand and put it away as if he was embarrassed.

He said, "I hope you can forgive me of a simple hobby."

I said, "yes, of course. It was wonderful. Translating my scrolls to other languages."

Ellander was surprised at my response. "You like it? Really?" I replied "Yes, the stories of Xena could spread all over the world if their were other copies, how many have you done?" Ellander answered somewhat proudly, "Twenty-three in Latin, sixteen in Egyptian, I'm learning Aramaic so I could do some in that language. I know the language of the Gauls but I haven't done any yet."

I asked, "How many of my scrolls have found?" Ellander replied, "I have over hundred, but most are Greek copies that were made. I'm pretty sure I have the original scrolls for The quest, Return of Callisto, Maternal Instincts, Looking Death in the Eye and Finns, fems, and gems.

I asked, "How are you sure?" Ellander said, "Two of them have tear stains on the paper, the one where Solan died, and the other where Pedicas died. I hate to bring up sensitive subjects but that's why I'm sure. It took a lot of effort to be sure. I met Virgil and he help confirm the authenticity of them, and gave me Looking death in the Eye."

I was amazed, one he had actually met Virgil and that he had done what he had done. Also that he was so educated, I knew he was, but I didn't expect him to know so many languages, I knew some Gallic, but I'm not fluent. Not fond of speaking it, since Khraftstar. I decided then and there two things. No more Alcohol, and that I was going to follow this man. Help him with my scrolls, maybe even track down some of the originals

8

"I didn't know it just yet, but I had just made a decision that would eventually lead me to marriage." Gabrielle finished.

Xena's condition had become worse still. For Gabrielle desperation began to sit in. Her friend was dying. So Gabrielle did something she hadn't done in years. She prayed "Eli, it's Gabrielle. Remember me. I hope your happy up there, I really do.

Eli, my friend is dying, and if she dies I will not only lose her in this life. But I will lose her forever, to the Japanese Gods. If this happens I will never have her again.

8

Xena's body floated above the cottage of Gabrielle. She ascended towards the heavens. She was happy, she was free. Then suddenly a Greek man wearing green robes stood before her. Xena asked, "Eli? Wow, how are you?"

Eli answered, "I am well Xena, but where do you think you are going?"

Xena answered, "To the other side of course."

Eli continued, "Are you sure you really want this?"

Xena said, "Yes, I can be with my Mother and Solan."

Eli said, "No you wouldn't, you forget about the Japanese powers that be, they are waiting to take you away."

Xena lost her smile, "I can take them."

Eli continued, "That's not the point, your not ready."

Xena replied, "You've spent a long time making judgments, they didn't help Gabrielle any."

Eli replied, "She is why I'm here. Listen."

Xena replied, "To what?"

Eli said, "Just listen, you'll here her." Xena stopped and listened.

Gabrielle's voice could be heard, "Xena's everything to me. She is my friend, my sister, my life. I lived seven years thinking she is dead, and now she is alive. Don't take her away again." Xena heard Gabrielle's crying as the voice continued, "I love her, I don't want her to go. Please don't take her again. I don't know if I can stand it again."

Xena's face became sad and worried. Xena turned to Eli, "I need to go back."

Eli said, "Take care Xena, one day you will be here and I will welcome with open arms, but that day is still in the future." Eli hit her with a ray of energy as Xena's soul careened back to earth, into her body again. Xena opened her eyes. She saw Gabrielle's head looking down as tears fell on the floor.

Xena said, "Gab…" Gabrielle looked up,

She said, "Xena, your awake." Xena said, "Barely, I need a drink." Gabrielle got up and ran to the table where she had some water in a pitcher, she filled the glass and brought it back to her, spilling some because her nerves were frayed. She held the cup to Xena's mouth and tipped it slightly as Xena could not yet do it herself. Xena motioned with her hand that that was enough. Gabrielle stopped.

Gabrielle shed tears again, but these were happy tears. Xena had a long road to go for healing, but she was going to live. But there Masuke was still out there and Xena was in no condition to do anything about it.