August 8th

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry was freaking hysterical. Somebody needs to go tell those reviewers to get their heads outta the ground, cuz that was funny.

I love movies that take place in NYC. Brings it closer to home, y'know?

Funny thing--I saw them filming it. I was just swinging by and I was like--what's with the cameras? Then I see firemen playing basketball. I didn't say anything, but one of the guys saw me. I couldn't see who, since I was too far away, but I really hope it was Adam Sandler. He's a comical genius, that guy. So I heard someone scream: "Yo! SPIDEY!" and I just waved. It was funny--good story to tell the kids one day.

Thing is, I like it because it was "tastefully done". Like The Ringer. In that movie they were tasteful towards people with disabilities, and in this movie they didn't make gay people look bad. Yah know what I'm saying? I liked it a lot. That one guy, who played the lawyer's brother, was hysterical. He's making it big now. He was in Grandma's Boy, Click, Blades of Glory, and now this. I also watch his Gay Robot shorts on Myspace. haha, they're funny.

Now, I've been saving the best part for last, right? It was all over the news, and if you didn't see this you don't live in the US. As I'm walking out of the movie, right, Somone crashed through the movie screen as the credits are rolling! I was like HOLY SH--Cow...

It was Dare Devil. And who was he fighting? Carnage! I changed into my Spidey Suit and ran to help. By the time I got back to the theater there was another hole in the wall, so I jumped through and searched for them.

That's when the Green Goblin showed up on his little glider. He screamed at me: "Haha, Spider-Man! We're not letting you know what we're up to just yet!" And as I jumped and caught his glider, but I was hanging from it with just my hands sticking to its surface. He laughed again and he stepped on my fingers and I fell off.

He didn't see me spin a web underneath the glider and he didn't see me crawl up and attach myself to its underside.

That guy can't drive. My head is still spinning from the ride it gave me. I heard a familiar buzzing noise, and my spider-sense went nuts. Dare Devil was in sight, pursuing Carnage, and Gobby was gonna throw a pumpkin bomb at him. Well, as soon as the Goblin launched it I jumped from under the glider, and (I did this cool stunt in mid-air) spun a webline that caught onto the bomb. I swung it around and it exploded on the glider. Haha, go me!

Carnage saw that his new partner was down, and he disappeared. I caught up with Dare Devil on a nearby rooftop.

"Dare Devil. You okay?"

"Where the hell were you? You've got two complete mental cases running free around this city, and you decide to show up late?"

I was like, oh no he didn't. "Are you kidding me? I just saved your butt! Or did you not see the freaking explosion?"

Dare Devil grunted.

I said: "Who asked you, anyway? Gobby and Carnage are my bad guys. Go kick Bullseye's ass or Kingpin or one of your looney toons!"

Dare Devil didn't answer. He used his tricked-out cane-stick thingy and swung off. I stood there, cursed under my breath, and headed out to search for Carnage.

Fricking superheroes. Think they own the place. Sheesh.

COMMENTS:

(subject: you idiot)

If it wasn't for me, Carnage and Goblin would've killed a dozen people!

--Dare Devil

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(subject: YOUR the idiot)

Oh yeah? Well, if it wasn't for me, Goblin would've killed you!

--Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

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(subject: none)

You need to be responsible about this!
--Dare Devil

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(subject: none)

Don't you DARE talk to me about RESPONSIBILITY!

--Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

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(subject:none)

You're not just playing dress-up! People can and will die if you don't catch them!
--Dare Devil

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(subject: Oh, I'll Give YOU No Subject...)

Why is it always me, huh? You never gave me a chance, since the first time we met. How come you never give Johnny Storm a hard time, or Black Panther, or Captain America?

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(Subject: Cap)

Captain America was a great hero. Not a child, like you.

--Dare Devil

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(subject: thats it!)

That's it, Dare Devil! I've had it with you. I don't care if you think that I'm not cut out to be a "hero". I didn't ask you. And I rarely say this to people but: SCREW YOU! And I would've said the F word, but I think there are little kids reading.

--Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

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