Attack on Titan: The Infinite Loops
Chapter 13
A/N: Unlucky thirteen? Well, I was suffering writers block…
13.1 CrossoverPairingLover
Knocking against the clear dome that had replaced the walls this loop, Jean was officially confused.
"Okay, I can sort of buy that we could built massive walls before the Titans devoured us all, even if it is total B.S" he stated to Historia and Ymir, who had joined him in observing this latest strange loop "But this, this doesn't make any sense at all. Historia, you seem to be connected to at least half of the crazy conspiracies around here."
It was closer to 63% actually.
"What's with the giant fish bowl?"
"That's the best comparison you could come up with?" Ymir questioned his analogy skills.
"I...have no idea," the illegitimate princess admitted. "Say, you don't think we can run out of air in here, do you?"
Jean and Ymir looked rather terror struck, though Ymir's look turned contemplative when she began to wonder if she had to breathe as a Titan.
"...Any particular reason Jean's stolen all the axes under the dome and atomized them, and then started attacking blacksmiths who attempted to replace said axes?" Hannes felt a headache coming on from this latest bout of strange looper behavior as Historia frowned.
"I think he just realized that logging could lead to us all asphyxiating, in a long term worst case scenario," then again, after that loop with the Lorax, Historia had seen worst case scenarios involving deforestation.
"Huh, I always thought he'd be opposed to the Planeteers," Ymir admitted.
"So, now we apparently can no longer have any firewood, or building wood...or wine barrel wood." Hannes muttered to himself. "Great, I can't handle another society collapse loop. I'm allergic to war paint and flint spears".
"Hey, if a bunch of pigs can build houses out of straw and stones, I'm sure we can manage on the building side," Ymir snarked. "Plus, we can still collect dead wood and sticks for burning...we just have to fight tooth and nail with the rich for them."
Perhaps she should go collect some sticks ahead of time and sell them later. They probably will go up in price soon.
Ymir's Stick Emporium, coming soon to a District near you!
13.2 CrossoverPairingLover
"Foolish mammal! Stand down and let me obtain your power, or die"
Of all the various things that had tried to kill him so far in the loops, a talking Dinosaur was not what he was expecting, but Eren found himself being stared down by a golden eyed Raptor and cornered in a back alley.
He really should have suspected that strange, hunch backed salesperson was not actually going to give him those shoes. When did you ever trust hunch-backed back alley shoe salesmen?!
"You know, killing loopers doesn't give you their power," Eren told the beast as it laughed maniacally.
That was just creepy, an evil laughing Dinosaur. That just didn't sound right, what was next a maniacally laughing Armored Titan?
"I am not after a looping power, I am after what you carry in the baseline. Your Coordinate will be mine," The Raptor told him, as the thought of a sentient, evil, talking Raptor who was aware of loopers (and quite possibly one himself), gaining his own Coordinate sent shivers down Eren's spine. Memory crushing could be the new poison when it came to hunting, and humanity would be on the menu (Memory crushes did not hurt Cattle like they did man).
There was only one responsible thing to do here...
"Avada Kedarva!"
The green spell flew right at the Reptile, who jumped over it and landed on the roof to his right, before making a choking motion with his hands.
Eren began to levitate, as he felt a lack of breath, as if he was being choked.
A Force Using Raptor? A Dark Side Raptor? A Sith Raptor?!
He thought that was only a rumor!
Thankfully though, he managed to bite his tongue.
KRAKBOOM!
Sure, Trost would panic a bit, but one Titan was better if you asked Eren than a Sith Raptor.
Flicking its tail in shock as the giant Titan rose up from where the boy had been, the Raptor hissed, before his body began to shimmer.
And from that, Raptor became a Bishonen human form with raptor esc features. A power-upgrade to be sure, if naked.
"Very well..." the Raptor spoke in a more human tone as it used the force in the direction of a nearby guard post: yanking away a Garrison trooper's 3DMG and blades to itself and garbing them. "Your Coordinate will be mine, Mammal!"
And so began the first fight between Titan and Man where one probably should cheer for the Titan.
13.3 CrossoverPairingLover
It had been a complicated loop so far, to be sure.
For some reason, Titans had been replaced with regular zombies. That in of itself was not unheard of. They had fought the living dead more than their fair share of times.
However, this time the undead had struck in the aftermath of two specific events: first the Anchor Trio was off preparing for...something.
And second, he was the only other looper awake.
Connie Springer, panting in exhaustion, was all that stood between the gate to the Interior, and a horde of the flesh eating masses, whose number included a few zombified unawake loopers.
He was out of blades, out of steam, and quite possibly out of time.
The Walls would soon belong to the undead.
Well, that and the animals. These particular undead hordes did not bother non-humans for some reason. And with that, lay the moral dilemma he was facing.
These zombies had been encountered previously by other loopers, and eating a Zoan-Devil Fruit (One that could allow you man-beast powers), would make you safe from them.
You could then kill them all off without worrying about being bitten and infected. And Connie did in fact have on such fruit in hand.
But that was the crux of the problem.
The fruit he had in his hands, a gag gift from Sasha a while back, was the Giraffe Fruit. Eating it would once again give him the powers of a Giraffe, and he could win in that state.
But he had eaten that fruit many times before: generally by mistake or looping circumstance, and that would be a problem. For a Devil Fruit that a looper ate many times without interruption (such as eating a Batman Batman no Mi instead) would gain the powers as permanent as Luffy's Gum-Gum powers.
And Connie liked being able to swim, and would rather be a Giraffe.
But did he really want to be turned into a zombie? Was that permanent? Did it hurt?
After all, Levi had that vampire problem...could the same thing happen to him because of a glitch?
As the horde was an Eren Titan foot away (as in Eren could step between him and the Zombies in Titan form and just avoid squashing both), Connie chomped down on the red Devil Fruit that had stalked him across time and space.
Was this destiny he would be forever stuck with this power?
13.4 Shimmer712
Eren sat quietly, listening to the woman rant. Naga, he had learnt was from one of the O7 loops and considered herself the Anchor's greatest rival. Eren had considered her an obnoxious flake with an annoying laugh at first but while she seemed that way a lot of the time, she had shown that there was more to her.
The pair had rescued some kidnapped children and she had spent time soothing them and wiping their tears, counselling a little girl who had seen her mother killed. Like Mikasa had. Like Naga herself had.
Naga was also a powerful mage and was gleeful at the opportunity to pass on her knowledge (something about her rival stealing her little sister as a student). It was strange, shooting chunks of ice. Eren was more familiar with throwing fire thanks to his Avatar Loops but Naga was a good teacher when she got serious.
And there was now.
They were watching a –ahem- mature film with BDSM elements and Naga was not happy with it.
"You have got to be bulllshitting me! You do not leave you partner alone when they are tied up! Especially if the ropes go around their neck!" she raved, fairly screaming the last part. "And they are completely ignoring Safe, Sane and Consensual!"
"Safe, sane and Consensual?" Eren echoed. Naga blinked and looked at him, seeming to only just remember he was there.
"Well, it's the main way to determine if it's actual BDSM or just plain abuse," she explained. "They are the guiding principles of BDSM. Safe, making sure that you prevent any risks to your partners health, Sane, you both have to be in the right frame of mind, no doing anything while they are influenced by alcohol, drugs or had some sort of emotional upset and Consensual, everyone involved agrees to the activities."
"Oh. Does everyone follow this?" Eren asked, curious.
"Well, some people go by different phrase but it boils down to the same thing. "Make sure they agree, make sure they are in the right frame of mind and make sure you do your best to ensure their safety," Naga shrugged. "And to be honest, it can be applied to other things as well. Like in loops," Naga nodded firmly. "We loopers have an advantage over non-loopers since we have opportunities to abilities and techniques they don't. That doesn't mean we're invincible but we simply have a wider range of skills."
"You mean like how the O7 anchors are viewed as the strongest?" Eren questioned.
Naga's eyes twitched at the reference to her Rival. She hated how in her baseline, no one seemed to have heard of her despite her status as a powerful sorceress and her accomplishments. "Yes, Like that," she muttered.
"But I feel that the SSC is a good way to keep yourself in check, to try and make sure you don't slip into Sakura Syndrome," she told him. Eren grinned at her.
"I don't have to keep myself in check," he told her. "Out of me, Armin and Mikasa, I'm the unstable one. Those two? They're rock solid. I might go crazy, I mean, people were saying I was unstable in baseline, but them? Not a chance." Although the SSC would be a good guideline to follow. It may stop Mom and Hannes from worrying, he mused silently.
Naga frowned.
"Don't be too sure about that," she warned. "Your baseline is quite unpleasant and reliving it over and over is bound to wear at them."
Eren shook his head. "You don't know them. Trust me, they'll be fine," he insisted. He ignored the memories of a few disturbing acts the pair had done and his own worries.
Armin and Mikasa were fine. He could count on them.
Naga looked at him and shrugged, switching off the TV.
"You know what? I think I'll teach some more spells" she decided. "How about Demona Crystal and Mizu No Ryu? Maybe Freeze Rain? No, that one would be no good. You're usually in a group, aren't you?"
13.5
Armin pursed his lips. "You know I hate chess Mikasa."
"I know that Armin. This is just practice though."
It was a lazy morning in the Walled World. Armin and Mikasa had found themselves, oddly, alone again. Eren hadn't Awoken and no one else had made their presence known (strangely, this included the visiting Anchor). So, alone and a little depressed, the duo had elected to run the loop baseline and see if there were any expansions.
That still left them two years of begging on the streets (or as luck would have it, chilling out on The Carla, as they were now) and three more of basic training, but it was nothing they'd never lived through before. The boredom was a more specific killer. To combat it, Mikasa had challenged Armin to a game of chess with a specific limitation for herself.
Armin rightly moved a knight to point D6, setting himself up to take Mikasa's second bishop in three turns. "This game is so damn boring. How'd it ever catch on?"
Mikasa concentrated, a rook of hers moving of its own psychic accord. "Don't know. I'm not a history nut."
"Game of kings... What a crock. It's all reactionary, and once you're out of the early game, it's all so much minutia." Armin grumbled and moved a pawn forward two spaces.
"I'm not certain you could say-" *CRACK* "-dammit!" Mikasa set Van Black aside and snatched up the remains of the white queen she had been moving, replacing it with another from a large box of pieces. Mikasa took up Van Black again and concentrated, moving the piece. "Whatever."
Armin sighed a little and moved his left rook to the center of the board. "I get that you want to practice Van Black's psychic manipulation features, but does it need to be with chess?"
"I'm working my way towards Go," Mikasa consoled. "Then you can beat me all the more thoroughly."
"That's only because you don't listen when I'm trying to teach you strategy. If you let me teach you-"
"Any specific strategies to protect you and Eren? They're up here," Mikasa said, pointing to her head. She adjusted her grip on the sword and moved a rook to the board's center. "Besides, I need the practice."
Armin rolled his eyes and moved his bishop, seizing Mikasa's own second bishop. "And checkmate."
Mikasa stared at the board. "Alright then... let me just... try one last thing." Redoubling her grip on Van
Black, Mikasa channeled her will into the blade, the sword converting it into psychic energy. The pieces slowly lifted from the board, and reassembled themselves into the case. Mikasa smirked. "This is one impressive blade..."
Armin nodded a little. "Naruto really did put a lot of work into that katana. It's just amazing he'd ever bet it."
Mikasa flipped the blade in her hand, reversing the grip on the ancient and powerful weapon. "It's versatile at least. And well worth it. I just need more practice with it."
"You always want more practice with something. Your 3DMG, your psychic powers, your triple wielding, your magic... You'll vanish for months, even years on training trips." Armin took the chess board and shunted it into his pocket. "You need to socialize more."
"I socialize with you and Eren," Mikasa said. "You're enough for me."
Armin shook his head. "Mikasa, it's not healthy. At least try and socialize with the others. It's only us or Carla you see these days."
Armin gently put an arm around Mikasa's shoulders. "I know that you're comfortable with us Mikasa. I just want you to know that sometimes you should step out of your comfort zone."
Mikasa gave Armin a flat look. "Armin, no one else is Awake. Eren's asleep in one of the guest rooms. You're the only one I can talk to."
Armin didn't have answer to that. "So... is that it for training with Van Black?"
Mikasa shrugged. "I don't know... actually, stand back."
Armin moved over to the other side of the room. Mikasa spun on her heel, striking air straight at Armin. At first, the empty blow had no measurable effect on the blond. Then, without ceremony...
Armin's clothes shredded themselves. "Really? Naruto put a 'clothing damage' setting on that? The O7 are so weird..."
"That's not the point Armin. Now let me into your pocket. I have an idea."
Armin huffed and opened his subspace pocket for Mikasa, who stepped inside and then back out with a rack of clothes. "Mikasa, what are you doing?"
"Dexterity practice," she deadpanned.
"Playing dress up," Armin surmised.
"Potato, potahto," Mikasa said. "Now hold still."
Clothing, a tee-shirt and jeans, flowed off the rack, slowly but surely covering Armin and returning his modesty. "Is this really the best you can think of?" He said from underneath the baseball cap Mikasa ha stuck on him. "Dress up?"
"It works," Mikasa countered. "Now, what next..."
A suit leapt out at Armin and covered him with a little more experience than with the mix of casual clothing. "Well, at least I can get your opinion on how I look..." Armin muttered. "Besides, who doesn't look good in a suit?"
Another ensemble assembled itself over Armin, a mixture of robe, white shirt and shorts that made him look like a bum. "Alright then. Really?"
Mikasa shrugged and riffled through the rack of clothes, before cocking an eye brow. She pulled a maid's outfit off of the rack. "Really?"
Armin blushed. "That's not mine! It's Historia's!"
Mikasa raised an eyebrow, before directing it at Armin with Van Black. In seconds, Armin was dressed as a maid. "The fit says otherwise."
Armin blushed thoroughly. "Alright, maybe it is mine. What can I say...?" He winked at Mikasa. "I look better than you in it."
Mikasa stared at Armin. "Okaaaay... Next outfit."
Another mixture had Armin in full plate armor. "You never know when you'll need to be in armor."
"You have a copy of Tony Stark's Iron Man armor. Why would you need plate armor?"
Armin shrugged underneath the plate. "Why not? It pays to be prepared."
"That it does," Mikasa agreed after a moment. She pulled a set of winter clothing from amongst the others. "Okay hold still."
Another change of clothes and Armin was starting to sweat in the mix of summer heat and heavy clothing. "Think you're getting the hang of it?"
Mikasa pulled the clothes off and managed to resort them. "I think I am..." She removed a nurse's outfit from the rack and quickly wrapped Armin in it. "Doesn't Eren have copies of these for everyone?"
"Again, it pays to be prepared," Armin said. "Besides, scrubs are useful outside of the doctor's office. They're good for sanitation of diseases and the like."
Mikasa pulled the scrubs off of Armin and set another shirt/jeans pair on him. "Well, it does bring back memories..." Mikasa gently lifted another piece of apparel up from the rack. "How about some night clothes for later on?"
Armin shook his head. "I'm good."
Mikasa pulled the set of too modern clothes off of Armin and dressed him back up in his daytime clothes
"I think a few more rounds of this should be enough training for tonight. You have any more racks in there?"
"I should..." Armin said. "But how about another game of chess?"
Mikasa shrunk a little. "Aww... Fine..."
Armin pulled the board out, and then stopped to think. "Wait... was this an attempt to get me to play chess, or dress up?"
Mikasa smiled. "Maybe..."
Armin reached over and bopped her on the head. "Meanie."
"I love you too."
13.6 CrossoverPairingLover
"Now leaving the Ocean City District. Please stand behind the yellow line"
Eren's eyes snapped wide open, faster than a sleeping Mikasa at his pained shout.
Rapidly looking around the train car he had woken up in, he found himself surrounded by a few dozen of the multiverse's worst types of people.
Purebloods garbed as Death Eaters, Agents of HYDRA, Officers of the Galactic Empire, Team Cipher members...all of them equally nasty, and quite possibly equally bored.
What other reason was there for one of Tarkin's underlings to be reading the Daily Bugle (SPIDER-FAMILY, THREATS OR MENACES!?), turned to what Eren had a pretty good guess to be the comics section.
However, they were not what was particularly bothering Eren: no it was the city they had just left.
A city of filth and darkness, a city that was what happened if you squeezed out all the negative outcomes of the worlds, blended it with a rusty blender, and then spat in it after chewing on a number of questionable substances.
A city he had visited only once before now...
Lying on the filthy ground, as if dropped by something and forgotten on streets paved in filth, a simple notebook lay before Eren. Its cover black, and its cover labeled quite simply as 'Death Note'.
A name scribbled in the book in haste, Eren stood panting, his face contorted in a strange mixture of terror and adrenaline, over a dead mob boss. Laying in his hand as well was a similar book to his, but while his book bore only one name in it, his was quite a few pages in, and contained many such names.
Cornered in a back alley decorated in a mixture of gang related graffiti (The Purple Dragons! The Yamato Alliance! The Jokerz! Triple Treat Triad Territory! Team Rocket! Human Liberation Front, Kill all Ponies!), his Death Note Useless, Eren found himself at gunpoint by a trio of metallic beings with inhuman heads and thin limbs.
"Drop the Death Note", the B1 droids told him, before they started firing.
Closing his eyes, Eren tried to make the memories go away with all his willpower. He tried to see his friends, his baseline, his failed attempts at cooking pastries, but the memories kept forcing themselves through.
Running through the sewers after having avoided an ambush, Eren found himself against a wall of slime.
The wall of slime moved...
"Muk!"
The wall of slime, a red ring around its eyes, attacked with a massive spray of toxic gunk, followed by dozens of smaller slime creatures, a few floating gas sacks, and an endless horde of blue bats, all with similar red ringed eyes.
But they would not go away.
The Welcome to Ocean City: please pay the entrance tax to the City Council's personal accounts district sign was shattered as a mob of Titans burst forth towards the City, this somehow did not make the city seem much worse.
A giant, dark robot burst out of the street: its frame much bulkier and its movement slower than most of its brethren. With a single punch, it smashed a 7 meter Titan into a Freddie's Animatronics store.
The giant robot found the earth beneath it shatter as if deconstructed, sending it falling into an unusually sizeable sewer. Eren screamed as he himself fell into the great pit, along with the Titans he had been commanding.
Trauma never did. He was fidgeting a lot.
"Everyone" the Note seemed to be saying to him "Everyone, Must, Die"
Screaming in terror, the others in the train car glared at the boy. One Death Eater even flung a Killing Curse at him, but missed and hit what looked like to be the Red Skull instead.
"...Now entering the Absolution City District, Moltar Memorial Station..." the train stopped, and Eren didn't even think.
He had to get out of here! He had to get away!
Get Away!
With that, Eren darted out of the train, dodging a few more killing curses that all ended up hitting the same, dark haired individual.
The shouts for someone called Yamcha echoed after Eren, not that it registered.
Must run.
Run.
Run away.
The memories, he had to get away from them.
Get away.
Get away.
Get aw...
Wait, where was here anyway?
Eren stopped running, and took in where he had ended up.
It was...green.
So much not like Ocean City, a true park. Something you'd see in the finest of cities: New York, Metropolis, Castelia, Theed.
The trees were vibrant, the paths clean and shining stone. The park seemed to have paths leading to one center structure: a massive fountain featuring a hero creating a spherical ball of energy, from which the water cascaded down into a clear pool whose bottom was littered in coins.
Coins, coins, coins.
The hero, was one Eren quite recognized.
"This fountain was created in dedication to the opening of Goku Park: in memorial to those who are allied to good, and nightmare to evil. Mayor T.O.M, August 31st, 1998", Eren read the golden plague at the base of the fountain, blinked a few times in shock, before looking around at the others in the park.
A group of teenagers, all dressed in red clothing with orange orbs on them for some reason. They seemed slightly metallic.
An albino, white haired girl in a white jumpsuit decorated in red circles.
A pride of cat-people.
All of them looked vaguely like loopers or famous people from certain loops, though not ones Eren had seen or met before.
Looking further beyond, Eren saw a skyline.
A skyline of shimmering buildings, a mixture of well-aged finesse and new age shimmer.
Wayne Enterprises, Capsule Corp, Kaiba Corp, the Baxter Building, the Daily Planet...these names were more familiar to him than the people around him.
What was this place, the good counterpart to Ocean City? The New Genesis to Apocalypse?
The city streets beyond Goku Park were as lively as one might think a bustling city streets would be.
Ads blared from screens all over the city: schools like the Death Weapon Meister Academy and True Cross Academy, VRMMOG's like Alfheim Online and The World, and competitions like the IG1 grand Prix and the Dark Tournament (The last didn't seem like it should be advertised like that).
People were everywhere: there were Leaf Ninja and Soul Reapers, Beastmen and Fishmen, Sailor Scouts and Honnouji Students, and what appeared to be an unawake Coop sleeping, out cold to the world, on the foot of M.E.G.A.S, with a purple haired policewoman sighing as she wrote him a ticket and stuck it on his stomach.
There was even a giant wanted poster in an alleyway that jotted off the side of one of the buildings with a wanted poster on it for a woman with similar face structures to Mikasa, but looking far more homicidal.
He stopped at a city square with a trio of statues in the center: Naruto, Ichigo, and Luffy, all posed dramatically. A golden plague also was on this statue: Uniting the Trinity, Mayor T.O.M, May 18th 2013.
Around the square blazed advertisements for a myriad of things: Hamsters, Travel Agencies specializing in visits to Eternia, Zeon and Cybertron, a plumbing service, and various video games.
Though Eren really didn't care for that: he was actually getting hungry. He turned on a heel, and walked neatly into an Ichiraku ramen stand.
Next loop had a far more relaxed Eren grinning uncharacteristically as Shadis glared at him.
"You, what's with that dumbass grin?!"
"I just got back from a nice vacation", Eren stated in a still relaxed tone. Oddly enough, this was not because of anything he might have ingested during said vacation; he was just that relaxed.
"What the hell's a vacation, start speaking with real words!"
13.7
Mikasa's Personal List of Protection:
1) Eren Yeager & Armin Arlert: Equal precedence. Do not make me choose one above the other, or I will choose the one that kills you the slowest.
2) My Parents: My mother, my father, my step-mother. Do not fuck with them.
3) Historia Reiss: She's the queen of humanity and my friend. I'd hate to lose her. Get my drift.
4) Jean Kirstein: He may have crushed on me once, but he's still too fun and snarky to sacrifice. He's also a decent leader.
5) Sasha Braus: We understand each other and have simple goals in life, hers' is to help and feed, mine to protect and defend. We know where we stand. I'm by Eren and Armin; she's by the buffet table.
6) Zoe Hange: Mad Scientist. Someone needs to pull their fat out of the fryer when their experiments have gone wrong and Levi's not around.
7) Ymir: Historia's beloved. I'll protect her to protect Historia... so long as she does not hurt Eren or Armin. 'Hurt' includes trying to kidnap them and attempting tax evasion with them.
8) Hannes: our oldest friend, but also the most experienced and powerful. If he can't handle himself... we're probably boned.
9) Corporal Levi: My cousin... maybe. One of humanity's greatest. Curmudgeon and ornery. Beat up Eren (hence why he's so low).
10) Marco Bodt: Marco possesses intangibility, invisibly, flight, and the ability to self-resurrect as a nigh indestructible ghost. He'll be safe. Or dead. Either way he's safe.
11) Connie Springer: f*ck Connie. (I'm kidding Connie, you're on par with Sasha).
Connie and Sasha read through the list again. "Okay..." everyone's favorite near-bald boy said. "What is this?"
Eren had stuffed his list into his coat-pocket. "Mikasa's been practicing her social skills. This is her attempt at comedy."
Sasha re-read her list, wincing along the way. "This... is really, really terrible. She needs some pointers or something. Maybe a guide or a pamphlet. Or at least a coach."
Eren shrugged, more embarrassed on Mikasa's behalf than he let on. "Well, Mikasa's more of an... Improvisational comedian anyway."
Sasha and Connie looked, for a moment, thoughtful. Then Sasha snorted. "Mikasa... as a comedian. I would pay to see that."
Eren nodded once. It certainly sounded interesting at least.
13.8 CrossoverPairingLover, Wildrook, and Me
"Destroy us all!"
"Destroy us all!"
"Destroy us all!"
"Destroy us all!"
The annoying chorus of large nosed idiots rang out from beyond the wall as Levi replaced his ear plugs.
"I miss the Sasquatch and tax-collectors already" he muttered to himself.
"I'll take the chicken," the big-nosed Titan Shifter replied.
Hange gently lowered his clown-cannon into its firing position. "Well, this will either crash the loop or save humanity. Either or."
Levi saluted Hange. "It has been an honor."
"The honor was mine."
BOOM!
13.9 CrossoverPairingLover
Jean Kirstein hated loops where he had hooves. But on rare occasions, they had benefits.
"It's time we settle this!" He declared, rearing against the setting sun behind him as his horse half stomped the ground, sending up plumes of smoke as he drew his jousting lance.
His opponent, Sasha, who was riding an electric yellow beast with black bolt designs and cloud like growths on it, brandished her own lance. "Bring it on Horse-Man!"
The two charged at each other, as Historia and Ymir just watched incredulously.
"Is Centaur Jean jousting with Sasha, riding Raikou?!" the princess seemed shocked, as worthy of the pun the comment was, as Ymir just looked bored.
"I'm surprised she didn't just eat it."
BANG!
The lances clashed.
"Ah man, they started without me!"
Turning around, the couple found themselves looking at Connie, who had a rope around what could only be described as the most evil looking Giraffe they had ever seen in one hand, with a lance in another.
13.10 CrossoverPairingLover
A sketchbook in hand, Sasha sat on a rock overlooking the river she had visited in three separate loops, the first with Marco (at least until he got killed by a flesh eating bird), observing a most unique thing.
A species that was not known to exist in time proper: a unique species to this variant loop. One she had only seen.
And they were amazing.
Black and white feathering, streamlined bodies, brilliant hunters of fish in water and adorably clumsy on land...these Fresh-Water Penguins (which she suspected were an offshoot of the Humboldt Penguin, suggesting a membership of Genus Spheniscus. Spheniscus Sasha perhaps?) were interesting creatures.
Truly worth further studying and documentation (She did need to convince a few of the loops resident geniuses to accept her work after all). After all, it wasn't like anything interesting was going on in the Walls at the moment.
Meanwhile back in the walls, the Loopers fought bravely in the legendary Toucan War, during which Toucans decided they had had enough of humanity and decided to destroy everything humanity had built in retribution.
Jean gave his life bravely to take out their last stronghold.
13.11 CrossoverPairingLover
The dead body of an unawake and surprisingly intact Marco lay before him, the brain of Mina Carolina in a glass case nearby. Lightning was sparking the sky above, with the roof open to the oddly non-torrential skies and said body on a clearly risible platform.
Zoe held up his scalpel, ready to begin, when he woke up, took one look at what he was doing, and threw the scalpel on the ground in disgust.
"What the fuck am I trying to do!?"
13.12
"OhShitOhShitOhShitOhShitOhSh-"
Splat!
Levi stared impassively as Carla slammed into a tree, her form liquefying and exploding like an overfilled water balloon. "Yeager, you have no talent with this."
The puddle on the ground began to coalesce and Carla's head emerged from it. Levi, having never been taught to fear a mother's wrath (due to watching his mother die many years ago), was naturally immune to her motherly death glare. "You need to twist your hips more, and try to maintain your center of gravity. If you don't, you can't aim."
Carla's glare didn't let up as she climbed out of her puddle. "Well excuse me if I happen to be taller than you. Height isn't exactly something you can easily affect when you're a grown woman." Carla drew herself to her full and rather unimposing height and tightened the braces on her ODM gear. "Let's try that again."
Levi rolled his eyes as Carla launched a set of anchors into the trees, taking off with a jolt. She managed to launch across the clearing, anchoring from one tree to the next. Levi, if only vaguely aware that she would soon be out of easy visual range, dissolved his form into a swarm of bats, and flew after her.
Amongst the crowns of the trees, Carla whooped loudly as she hooked to yet another tree and gained even more speed. She'd gotten the hang of it! A large grin spread across her face as she sublimated into the speed, the freedom, the exhilaration...
And then one of her cable anchors missed a tree, the cable line for the other wrapped itself into a branch, and Carla found herself on a sudden collision course with a tree trunk. "God da!-"
Then she smacked into it and exploded... again.
"You're shit with this."
"Shut it Levi."
Levi landed next to Carla's puddle and pulled her head out of the water. "What are you trying to prove? That you're as strong as us when it comes to 3DMG? That you could have been standing alongside us all those years ago?"
Carla ground her teeth in annoyance with both herself and Levi. "I need this. If I wake up in a Null Loop-"
"You won't have your powers, and you're dead in under five minutes," Levi finished. "It's either down a Titan's gullet, or euthanasia courtesy of Eren. Both ways, you're fucked, and this training is pointless to that goal." Levi's gaze drilled into Carla's. "So I'll ask again: what are you trying to prove?"
Carla's body grabbed her head out of Levi's hands and stuck it on her shoulders. "I'm not trying to prove anything Levi. I'm doing this because I may need this, one day." Carla's 3DM gear wrapped itself around her body. "I'm doing this again."
Levi silently watched as Carla flew into the air, fire an anchor at the wrong tree, and splashed off it again. "And here I thought Eren got his stubbornness from his father..." Levi just walked to Carla's position. "Hey, dumbass. Ask Mikasa for help if you want to keep crashing into trees. I'm done here."
Levi spun on his heel to leave, but Carla's hand had wrapped itself around his ankle. Carla had emerged from her puddle again, looking more than a little distraught. "Levi, don't, please. I... I can't ask Mikasa."
Levi's eyebrow time upward slightly. "Come again?"
Carla was in obvious pain to tell him this, but she swallowed her pride anyway. "Look... you were right. I am trying to prove something. I'm trying to convince myself that I can still... That I can still protect my children. That I can protect everyone here. I'm trying to prove that I'm valuable."
Levi and Carla stared at each other for a long few seconds. Levi gently shook his foot out of Carla's grip. "Yeager, if you want to prove that, go jump in a lake and learn to control your water abilities. It's fucking dumb to try and learn 3DM when you can run yourself into a living tidal wave."
Levi left the clearing with a final call. "And stop trying to prove that you don't need people to protect you. You don't. We just like doing it."
13.13
Levi and Hange glanced up at Connie. "Another monster loop?"
"Shut up!" Connie the were-giraffe shouted at Levi. "This is just... it's just happening to me."
Levi clicked his tongue around his fangs. "Yggdrasil really does like fucking with you half-pint. Maybe it's trying to say something."
Connie reverted from his giraffe form back to his smaller man form. "If either of you say one thing to anyone, I'll roast you two with my steam powers."
Hange gently chuckled. "Eh, come on Connie, it's not that bad. Sure you look kind of funny, but who doesn't nowadays? Marco's a ghost, Levi's a vampire, Eren and Ymir are Kaiju-zombies. What's one were-giraffe to all that?"
"One shitty were-power, that's what." Connie collapsed onto the bunk in his room on The Carla (which still hadn't been renamed). "Am I just... destined to be a were-giraffe forever? Seriously? It's the dumbest power on the planet."
"Never underestimate the destructive power of a giraffe." Hange intoned. The glares Hange received put the scientist on the defensive. "Hey, you should have had at least one loop into One Piece by now. That line's a meme."
Connie rolled over and slammed his head into his headrest. That was when he realized he'd shifted again. "C*#%^{#*^#+!"
Hange stepped away from the viciously swearing were-giraffe, abandoning Levi. Humanity's second greatest soldier rolled his eyes at Hange's retreat. "Look, Connie, if this is really pissing you off so much, write to Ganesha. He'll figure something out."
"...Shut up." Connie didn't want to admit that this was an idea he really should have thought of before. "Just shut up."
Dear Ganesha.
As you are probably aware, I've been getting repeated and numerous loops as some variant or play upon of the theme 'giraffe'. I'm starting to get real sick of it, and I don't want to be stuck with being a were-giraffe forever if the universe keeps sending Devil's Fruit to me. Please, do something!
Your looper-
Connie Springer
Ganesha cocked an eyebrow as he reread the letter that Connie had sent him. 'Connie's been getting Devil's Fruit? But she hasn't even been to the Grand Line.'
Then he read the postscript again. 'Oh, Connie Springer. Oh that explains things.' That figured out, Ganesha brought up the code for Connie Springer's soul.
As with all loopers, Connie had a complex mishmash of method calls, tied objects, active and inactive functions, and more than a few hints of code so complex and incomprehensible that they baffled the minds of all Admins. Ganesha needed to access Connie's spirit animal coding though. A few calls brought up said code, and puzzled Ganesha. Connie had the Worf attribute, so he shouldn't be a giraffe. What was...?
Wait. Worf?
Ganesha slammed his head into his keyboard (incidentally causing Kensuke Aida to loop) and brought up the Spirit Animal function. A quick perusal through a validation array revealed that 'Worf' was a valid call to the array. It just called the giraffe function. A double backslash note was his explanation for why: "YOGGY WAS HERE."
The Mythos hackers' ladies and gentlemen. A mix of trolls, bullies, and hackers, including Cthulhu, Slenderman, and Yogshoth, among others, who comprised what could be called 'The 4Chan of Yggdrasil'. They were all dicks too.
Ganesha retyped Connie's code to its proper 'Wolf' and hit CTRL+S. That saved, Ganesha ran another loop for the Walled World, sat back, and watched.
Connie's claws tore from the body of the gigantic wolf that had eaten him, ripping him loose and revealing him to be the massive Titan-Wolf he was. "FUCK YEAH! THIS IS AWESOME!"
"Connie's a werewolf," Hange noted from her spot on the roof.
"Typical," Levi muttered, sipping some blood laced tea.
"...So Levi, who-"
"I'm not fighting him to see who would win Hange. Go and see what happens in Twilight next time you loop there."
13.14 CrossoverPairingLover
Pastor Nick was at it again, shouting about the holiness of walls.
As they had stopped the conflict that would have made the Wall Sina dweller shut up for a bit and become someone they could at least respect, he was kind of starting to get annoying.
"Any ideas? I mean, last I checked we don't have freedom of religion, so we don't have to respect him" Eren recalled the many instances of conflict with the government and his Cult, or the Government and Arceus, or the Government and The Substitution Log, etc and bloody etc.
"Well, I do have a needle of liquid Catholicism, I suppose we could see what happens if we inject him with it"
All gathered loopers gave Levi a confused look.
"What, I had an odd loop a while back, it happens" Levi removed a needle filled with questionable liquid from his subspace pocket.
"Um, I don't think Pastor Nick of the Catholic Church is necessarily better than Pastor Nick of the Wall Cult" Mikasa recalled past meetings, and brawls, with a certain Alexander Anderson that reassured herself of that point.
"Alright then...what about liquid Judaism" Levi now had another needle in hand
"Rabbi Nick is not necessarily going to be any different from Pastor Nick" Jean snarked.
"Okay then, well I suppose this liquid Atheism..."
"Religion, or a lack of religion, isn't necessarily the cause of his faults. He'd be just as annoying if he was an unreligious ass as he is a religious one" Ymir pointed out.
"Damn... (The Saint Rose demands repentance for the sins of the Titan Boy!)...can we just lock him in a soundproof box and be done with it!?"
13.15 CrossoverPairingLover
Binoculars in hand, Hange was not smiling as she saw what was coming.
"So, it's them," Levi noted as Hange nodded.
The walls were once again under siege, but not by Titans.
"The Angels have returned," Hange confirmed. "Prepare for battle"
A Blue Evangelion stood tall over the walls, armed and ready to battle.
A blast of light pierced through its armor and sent it crashing down, smashing a butcher shop and whorehouse as it fell.
For these were not those kinds of angels that were attacking.
No, these ones had feathers, and Photokinesis.
"Damn it, we lost Hannes!" Eren shouted as he let loose fire balls at the winged humans. They avoided them or blocked them with light, as they continued their aerial assault on the walls.
"We're losing ground too fast!" Armin, flying overhead and engaging in dogfights in an Ironman suit added, repulsor blasting an Angel into the ground. "We have maybe 10 minutes before we are out of Garrison troopers!"
Eren noted a few ODMG using Garrison soldier swing at some angels, only to be cut down by a light sword construct and fall to the deaths, before reaching for his hand.
Angels, time to meet Titan!
Van Black in her mouth and scouting blades in hand, Mikasa was a teleporting three-sword style nightmare.
Whenever she reached for the air, feathers fell.
Light swords were severed.
Angels died.
"Ever heard that song with the lyrics, 'When Angels Deserve to Die'. Well, now I get it!" Jean snarked from the ground below, a bazooka in hand. Firing, he knocked a column off their perch, only to lose his only big gun when a light arrow pierced it.
Only his AT field saved his body from it.
Skidding across the rooftop he was in, Jean saw an Angel fly right at him, a blade of light in hand.
Drawing from his pocket, Jean pulled out a pair of chopsticks he had traded for some time back. Frowning, he quickly used them regardless.
"Changing Chopsticks!"
Just before the blade got him, Jean shrunk down to rice size, only to quickly resize once the startled angel flew overhead.
Then he got out a Celestial Bronze blade.
"Jesus, eat Janus!"
As the Olympian metal slashed Biblical flesh, Jean privately felt that was a pretty good one liner.
As feathers fell, a panting Levi smirked.
These angels got easy after a few hundred tries. It was all in the timing.
They could win this, they could...
Levi's eyes went wide as he felt a searing pain in his chest, only to see the arm sticking out of it.
Behind him, he felt a tall presence, then a bite.
Karma...
Hange backed away as she saw what had come to aid the Angels.
Tall, thin, and pale, they were scaling the laws with claws hands. Their fangs were sharp, and looked hungry.
"Vampires...the vampires have allied with the angels. Heaven and Hell stand against us..." Hange gasped before, and with resolve, drawing a dwarf star from her subspace pocket.
The very, very small star was the size of a crystal, the sort of one you might put in a blade.
And with a quick click, the blade was forged.
ZZZST
Just as the Vampire that had killed Levi came for her, she swung and sliced. The Vampire hissed, dissolving away as she swung with the power of a sun.
For the white heat blade of a Sunblade, a Lightsaber powered by a miniature dwarf star, was at the ready. And there were vampires to slay with it!
Crashing to the ground with heavily damaged armor, Armin was set upon by a marauding Vampire, only to blast it away with a repulsor.
Meanwhile to his left, Titan Eren stood, looking bruised and burned from constant attack. To his right, was Jean, panting and tired, his Celestial Bronze sword having taken the lives of the holy and the damned.
Opposite him was Mikasa, Van Black in hand. She looked the least winded really.
Surrounding them was a massive army of Angels and Vampires, all poised and ready to finish them off.
"...I hate this loop, I hate it so much," Jean summed up the basic opinion of everyone involved.
They would be going down fighting this time around...assuming the anchors weren't turned into Vampires.
How would that work?
Angels began to form light bows, as Vampires prepared to lunge...when from above a roar rang out.
Jean looked ready to cry...when he noticed that the Angels and Vampires were just as confused as they were.
They soon got their answer.
"Charge!" a familiar voice shouted from the sky, as the clouds cleared to reveal a descending mass.
The mass quickly became three distinct groups: one group large, hairy men, the second hairy, wolfish men, and the third pale, ice limbed woman. All coming down from the sky, where giant hawks circled and bat winged humanoids flew as rear units, with jetpacks.
The hairy men were armed with giant tomahawks, the wolfmen with claws, the ice woman with ice spears, and the winged beings with almost Wolverine like claws, if not metallic.
"The Sasquatch have come in aide of humanity!" Sasha shouted from the head of the first force.
"The Werewolves are here to save the day!" Connie, in wolf-form, led the second group.
"The Yuki-Onna are here, so chill out!" Historia sounded like she was using Spiral Power for a change as she led the third group.
"The Succubus are here to fight off the oncoming second wave!" A bat-winged Ymir added to their call.
"What the fuck is with this loop!?" Mikasa sounded like Jean here, but it was rather understandable.
What was going on here!?
A/N: I'm honestly shocked this ended up being as long as it did. I barely contributed at all. At most, three snippets total. I really, truly, must thank Crossoverpairinglover and SeaOfFallingStars for being such hard workers and tireless friends. It's an honor and a pleasure to have them here with me.
13.1) Under the dome. Breathing not optional.
13.2) Now that's a weird Sith Lord. And trust me, Cross would know: he's the guy who writes for Star Wars
13.3) Doom and gloom… or not.
13.4) Still a better love story than 50 Shades of Gray
13.5) Two siblings, not by blood. For a time, they believed they were all they had.
13.6) War is Hell. The Death Note War was unimaginable. Please enjoy Memorial Day, if you live in the US.
13.7) Mikasa has only so much room in her heart, only so many she can protect, only so many fucks to give.
13.8) The Return of Billy.
13.9) Horse-face Jean strikes again!
13.10) Sasha discovers a new species. The Loopers discover a new threat.
13.11) Fun fact! Hange hates experimenting on humans.
13.12) And Carla fails. Again. She's getting better though.
13.13) A little way to change things up. Turns out those Giraffe loops were foreshadowing! HA! Didn't see that coming, did ya?
13.14) I find this intrinsically funny.
13.15) Yes, Angels. Yes, Vampires. Yes, Sasquatch. Yes AWESOME!