Chapter Five: Plans, Dates and Heartless Sisters.
"Naminé, I have to talk to you," I say quietly and the girl looks up from her sketch pad, just as I had suspected she had been enjoying the window seat and drawing scenery. She closes her little black book and looks up at me with questioning eyes. I glance around the cafeteria and get up slowly; she doesn't ask me any questions and gets up too. Demyx watches us, and Zexion doesn't even glance up from his book.
"Where are you guys going?" Demyx asks and I shake my head, telling him to be quiet as I head out of the cafeteria with Naminé close behind me. There was something I just had to know. Apart from the horrible nightmares that had started again, I kept thinking about what Roxas had said to me on the phone about Naminé and I just had to know.
We walk around the empty halls for a few minutes before I lead her to the theater and we stand by the doors. She looks up at me and tucks her blonde hair behind her ear, and tilts her head to the side. I sigh and look up at the ceiling.
"Naminé, do you like Larxene?" I ask and she doesn't say anything so I look down at her, her eyes are wide and there's this fiery blush spreading across her pale cheeks.
"N-no," she tries to lie and I shake my head with a soft smile, she quickly realizes she can't lie to me and sighs deeply, "Alright, I do...but you like Roxas so you can't say anything to me," she says defensively and I raise my hands up in mock-surrender. She smiles at me and her blush dwindles down somewhat but it's still there.
"How do you know I like Roxas?" I say and Naminé shakes her head, a light smile on her face.
"Demyx came me and Zexion one day in first year, saying that the new kid liked Roxas Anderson," Naminé giggles and I groan, I had almost forgotten that I told Demyx about my crush on Roxas. I remember him asking me if I was gay and I told him I was, and that I liked this certain blonde. That's when I was told exactly who Roxas was. Demyx was the one who taught me the high school hierarchy when I first arrived.
"Should have known he'd blabber it out," I say bitterly and Naminé just shakes her head, her soft hair fluttering off her shoulders. "But wow Nami, Larxene? Isn't she like…psychotic?" I say and Naminé glares at me before picking at the hem of her too long sweater.
"She's been in my art class since grade eight and I always help her…she can be really funny and sweet," Naminé says with a sigh and it hurts to know that she's suffering. Larxene would never consider dating Naminé, hell I'd never even seen them speak. "You don't have to look at me like that, I know I'd never have a chance," she says sadly and I hug her, suddenly feeling the urge to hold her and console her. I feel her thin arms wrap around my waist and she mumbles a quiet thank you as we part.
"Don't worry, we'll have her fall for you some how…"I say trailing off and tapping my chin with my index finger. Naminé looks up at me with wide eyes and I look down at her smiling. "It shouldn't be so hard, right?" I ask and she just looks around and chews on her bottom lip.
"I don't know Axel…" she says quietly and I roll my eyes, gripping her wrist and heading back towards the cafeteria. I don't have a plan but I've never needed a plan before. I have to get Naminé with Larxene and that's pretty much all I know. We burst through the doors, because I like making scenes, and I walk back to my table and sit down. Naminé looks around self-consciously, sitting down slowly and I feel everyone at Roxas' table looking at me.
"Zexion," I start and make sure he's looking up from his book about death or whatever it is he reads, when he looks at me and I know I have his attention, I continue. "I need you to help me formulate a plan of sorts," I say and Naminé is watching me with wide scared eyes and I smile reassuringly at her.
"What does this plan entail?" he asks, slowly setting down his book with a little smile on his face. If there is anything Zexion loves (besides Demyx, but that's getting off topic) it's planning and scheming. It's like the dude's been doing this his entire life, and maybe even before that. Though, I don't really believe in reincarnation or anything.
"Well, it entails bringing two people together," I say using his word to try and sound smart. He eyes me, raising a blue brow high on his forehead but I know he's intrigued. If my plan involves manipulating people, he'll have the time of his little emo life. "We gotta get Nami here with Larxene, but we have to make Larxene ask Nami and all that," I say and I realize I've leaned in like it's some sort of classified spy information. Zexion glances at Naminé as she's blushing so much; I think her head might explode from too much blood.
"I see, and she wants to be with that savage nymph because…" he trails off looking between me and Naminé and the girl sighs, shooting Zexion a look before twiddling her little thumbs.
"She's really sweet and funny, I've talked to her before-" Demyx cuts her off and looks with wide eyes at the other blonde.
"How have you talked to her? Do you realize who we are and who she is? Like…that goes against…everything!" Demyx says and I worry he's foaming at the mouth; he's really stood by this hierarchy thing since day one.
"Demyx, Larxene doesn't care about that…she's just rude to everyone, even those at Roxas' table," Naminé says and when I think about it, it's actually true. Larxene Petrova was a fucking crazy ass bitch, and I don't think she cares who's on the receiving end of her attacks, as long as there is someone. She doesn't believe in the hierarchy because in her mind, she's above all…period.
"That is very likely Demyx, Larxene seems to be the type to go against the norm and the rules," Zexion says consolingly to his crush-since-the-beginning-of-life. Well, I'm guessing it's been since the beginning of his life because they've known each other that long and I can tell Zexion has the hots for Demyx and vice versa. They are just too chicken shit to do anything about it. I scoff mentally at them, they are complete jackasses…and I'm kind of a hypocrite.
"I know she is," Naminé says softly in defense of her soon-to-be girlfriend. I smile at her, taking a sip of my abandoned milk and I feel someone smack me harshly on the back. My precious milk ends up spewed on the table via my nose because I got fucking scared. The laughs I hear really shouldn't bother me, but they do.
"Do you have a complex with doing that?" Roxas asks, leaning casually against the table with his hip and I glare up at him as the butterflies ravage my insides. I can feel the people's eyes on me but I try to ignore them and think of a witty comeback.
"Maybe," is all I can come up with and I feel so stupid right now. Roxas just smirks and I try to ignore the butterflies but god damn it they are eating away at my stomach's mucus lining and all the HCl in my stomach is starting to eat away at the actual muscle, or at least it feels that way.
"So, do your little friends wanna come to the party on Saturday?" Roxas asks examining his nails like he's bored and I look at my 'little friends'. Demyx's eyes are glowing and I swear I've never seen him this excited about anything, Zexion looks completely unfazed but you'd have to know him to realize that he's totally shitting bricks and Naminé is blushing because she knows Petrova will be there…Damn it, did I just use her last name?
"I don't know, ask them, they are sitting right here," I say and pick up my milk box; I also note that Naminé is freaking fast when it comes to cleaning up all my spilt milk. Roxas turns his head slightly and looks at all of them, something in his eyes makes me uneasy but I don't call him on it. Demyx nods his head excitedly and Naminé just looks up at him, Zexion seems torn but eventually nods.
"Good, party starts at 8 on Saturday, but I want you there early Axel," he says and looks at me with that weird…glint in his eyes and I just nod my head. He pushes himself away from the table and stops, he's looking in the direction of his friends and suddenly he bends down and grips the back of my head, crashing our lips together and kisses me roughly. He pulls away with a smirk and waltzes back over to his friends.
I suddenly get this weird idea in my head so I get up, I don't know why but in the back of my mind I want us to be a good couple, a real one that goes on dates and the like. So, I swallow any nerves and I walk up to his table appearing cocky and filled with confidence. I see Kairi trying to talk to Roxas but if he was ignoring her before, he's doing it for sure now since I'm standing by his table. He looks at me up and down and smirks, "Can't get enough of me huh, Martinez?" he says and I groan, almost regretting coming over here.
"That's not it…I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie later?" I say and everyone at his table seems to be holding back giggles, like they're all in on this big secret and I have no idea what it is. Roxas looks up at me and smirks wider, this sadistic look on his face that makes me inwardly cringe. I hate sadistic people.
"Sure, I'll pick you up at 7:30," he says and winks at me, turning back to his table and talking to Riku and his brother, completely ignoring Kairi as she tries to tell him her opinion. It makes me sick that she tries so hard when he doesn't even like her. I walk away to my table trying not to smile and I sit down, feeling light and fluffy. Man, I really do like him.
I look at the clock hanging on the wall and realize I have my appointment with Aerith, so I have to sign out and make my way to her office. I get up from the table and my friends look up at me, questions in all their eyes. I scratch the back of my head and shrug my shoulders, telling them I have to sign out.
"Oh, alright, see you later!" Demyx says with a happy little smile on his face, Zexion waves and Naminé just smiles softly. I turn walking away, heading to the attendance office to get my sign out slip. I never liked talking to that lady, but Reno had already called in this morning telling them I was going to be leaving.
I walk in and out quickly, crinkling the little white sheet when I shove it in my too-tight pocket. The attendance secretary always seems so bitter and I often wonder what happened to make her that way. I chew on my bottom lip and flip my septum ring out, making my way off the school grounds. I have to ask Reno to get me a new pack of cigarettes I note as I climb into the bus.
Aerith's office was uptown where all the fancy schmancy people resided and I have no idea how Reno affords any sessions with this lady. The ride is quick and I'm climbing out of the bus stop right in front of the office in no time, the building isn't too big but it's still enough to make my stomach twist with anxiety. Seeing this place brings back so many memories, and I see the ambulance emergency entrance. I remember when Aerith called them and they came and took me away, I had a break down in her office and went completely insane. I'll always remember that day. It was when they locked me up for a few months in that psyche ward. I'm busy thinking the entire time and by the time I reach her floor, the nerves I've been ignoring attack me full force and my hands start to shake as I walk in. I go to the reception and the pudgy lady's eyes widen at the sight of me. She smiles brightly and stands up, leaning over her desk and hugging me.
"Axel Martinez! I didn't think I'd see you again," she says pulling away and going over to get my file from a cabinet that I never wanted to see open again. I try and force a smile on my face as she hands me the folder and escorts me to the room where Aerith will be seeing me. I take a seat and place the file on her desk. I'm only waiting for a few minutes, Aerith always punctual and good with time. She walks in quietly and takes a seat, her eyes warm and happy when she looks at me. Her long hair is in a tight bun on her head, the pink ribbon still present.
"Well, hello Axel," she says softly and she sometimes reminds me of Naminé, but maybe that's because they are both so nice. I look around her office and notice that the hole I punched in the wall was patched up and fixed, but of course it would be. It had been a few years since I had done the damage.
"Reno called me this morning, he told me you were screaming in your sleep again," she says flipping open the folder and going to a new page. I look down and I appreciate how she doesn't beat around the bush with small talk. I had told her never to do that on our first session, and she still remembers.
"I've been having nightmares again," I say quietly and she looks up at me, she never seemed to be judging me so I always poured out everything to her. I sigh and bite my bottom lip.
"Axel, take your time and tell me whatever you'd like," she say softly and folds her hands on top of the desk. It calms me a little to know that she isn't writing everything down yet, I always hated it when she would write as I spoke.
"Kairi brought it up again…and I kind of hit her. I'm still not too good with controlling my anger, and well, I just lost control. The screams at night are because of the nightmares. In the dreams…it…it's happening all over again," I say and the scars on my arms burn so I rub them over my sleeves.
"Have you cut yourself since our last session, two years ago?" she says and picks up her pen, writing something down and I wait for her to finish.
"No, I haven't…but I've wanted to," I say and look down and the wooden floor. I always liked the way it looked; it gave the room a warm, cozy feel.
"Why?" she asks quietly and I take in a shuddering breath, releasing it slowly and looking up at the ceiling lights.
"I miss my mother and I feel like it's my fault that she is where she is. I always…feel like he can just come back at anytime and ruin my life," I say tears welling up in my eyes but I hold them back as she writes down a few more things.
"She only has five years left, doesn't she?" Aerith asks and I nod my head, peeling the skin off my lips by chewing them too much.
"She only went for attempted murder, so they just gave her 11 years, plus the judge sort of understood why she tried to kill him," I say quietly and Aerith nods her head. "They were released last year though," I say and feel my throat constricting, at the mention of them and Aerith notices my discomfort.
"Well, you're safe now Axel, they can't hurt you anymore. You have Reno and you've grown a lot since then, plus you guys moved apartments correct? You have nothing to worry about, now," she says picking up her pen and writing something quickly before continuing, "Why don't you tell me about the night terrors?" she asks and I nod my head, thankful that I don't have to talk about my mother or them anymore.
"It's really just…a replay of when I was twelve, and I can't do anything to stop it," I mumble looking down and Aerith writes more things down.
"I see, Axel when these things happen you need to talk to someone. When you don't have a session with me, I want you to confide in Reno or maybe a friend you've told, or maybe even write down your feelings. I can prescribe some sleeping pills if you'd like, and besides that our time is done for today," she says pulling out her prescription pad and I look at it, before agreeing. "Also, I want you to come back next Friday; these sessions were helping you before. I want to make sure you have me around if you happen to have another episode," she says tearing the prescription and handing it to me when I walk over to her. I thank her kindly and agree to come the following Friday, by the time I leave her office it's 4:30 and traffic is heavy. I should get home around 6, if I'm lucky.
~*~
When I get home it's 5:45 and I run inside, racing to get to the bathroom and take a quick shower. Reno is sitting on the sofa stuffing his face with some sort of take-out and he looks up when I race into the house.
"Yo, what's the rush?" he says and looks up at me, I notice Rude is sitting beside him and I wave weakly at them.
"I'm going out at 7:30, so I need to shower and get ready," I say, a little out of breath and Reno raises a thin brow at me, Rude just sits there not really doing anything, I'm not even sure if he's breathing. I figured him out long ago, he's a robot that Reno created and passed off as a friend and he hides him and brings him out sometimes. At least that's what I think because Rude doesn't talk to anyone unless completely necessary so how are he and Reno best friends? See where I'm heading? He's a robot.
"Oh you don't say, goin' on a date?" Reno says wiggling his eyebrows like an idiot and I roll my eyes, tell him to eat me and he makes dramatic gagging sounds as I walk away towards the bathroom. On my way there I run into Kairi, she's walking out of the bathroom and heading to her room. We stop and she glares at me, I feel my hands twitching with the want to wring her neck but I hold back and take a deep breath, moving out of the way to let her pass. Instead she stands there and cocks her hip.
"I don't even know why he's dating you, I mean you're used goods," she sneers and I grind my teeth together, my hands shaking violently as I try and hold myself back. I tell myself not to hit her again, and I tear my eyes away from her.
"Reno, come get Kairi before I fucking smash her face into the wall," I call out, and I hear Reno get off the couch. He walks up to my side and looks at Kairi, his face lost that happy glow it had in the living room, now he looks tired and angry. I push my way past her a bit harder then necessary sending her into the wall and I slam the bathroom door shut. I hear them arguing outside of the door.
"Leave him alone Kairi, the things you say hurt him," Reno says and I can picture him rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"He deserves it, he ruined our family Reno," Kairi hisses and I feel my blood go cold, my throat closes and I turn to go shower but my legs aren't moving.
"It wasn't his fault those sick bastards raped him Kairi!" Reno shouts, my legs go weak and I slide down onto the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my forehead on them.
"Don't you dare talk about Dad and Tio Miguel like that! Axel is just a sick faggot who always hated Dad, and now mom is in jail because of his lies!" I hear the slap bounce off the walls and at first I don't know who hit who, until I hear Kairi start to cry and Reno sends her to her room. I hear her door slam and then Reno's knocking on the bathroom door; I reach over and unlock it from my place on the floor. I didn't even notice I started crying. Reno sits down beside me and sighs heavily.
"Axel, I'm sorry-" I cut him off shaking my head, not looking at him when I start talking.
"It's not your fault Reno, Kairi is just a bitch," I say with a shuddering breath and Reno puts his arm around my shoulders and rubs my arm a bit in a manly, comforting way.
"I know you aren't a liar Ax, and don't ever think it's your fault alright? I would have tried to kill them if I was home," Reno says and I turn to look at him, tears still filing my eyes.
"No, I wouldn't have been able to bear losing you and mom," I say and he smiles at me, before standing up and pulling me to my feet.
"Good, cause I'm stickin' around yo," he says and ruffles my hair, making me glare at him but I can't help the smile that blooms on my face.
"Now, get ready for your date. Don't be home too late," he says and walks out of the bathroom shutting the door behind him and leaving me to my own devices.
I turn and stare at myself in the mirror, my make up had started to run when I started crying and now it was all over my cheeks. I sigh heavily and climb into the shower. This was going to be my first date ever, and with Roxas Anderson. I stare down at my scarred arms and shiver, memories flashing in my mind's eye. I can almost feel the rope burning into my skin and tearing it raw, I can almost hear myself screaming bloody murder for my uncle and dad to leave me alone. I shake my head and start washing out my hair, that's in the past and I have to forget it, I have to get over it.
I step out of the shower and check the time. It's 6:30 and that gives me enough time to blow dry my hair and get dressed.
Fuck, I was going on a date with Roxas Anderson. I smiled, forgetting everything that had just happened and letting the excitement fill me instead of the sadness and anger I usually felt. It was weird how Roxas could make me feel like this, and I just smile as I walk out of the bathroom and into my room. My feeling's for Roxas were getting even stronger, so maybe tonight I could act like myself instead of the sarcastic jerk I always act like around Roxas. I guess I want him to see the real me. With that in mind, I get dressed quickly, smiling the entire time like some love struck chick.
Roxas Anderson is a good thing I conclude, and boy did he happen at a good time.
A/N: Okay, who's going to feel bad for Axel if Roxas hurts him?
Let's just hope that isn't the case cause he seems really into the blonde, hm?
Anyways, thanks for reading and review if you'd like (:
is being mean D;