The internet, it seems, deems it completely impossible for two complete strangers to ever fall in love. Or meet. Or even come across each other.

When Levi went to the local library two days ago, where there is free internet, (free is just that much better) he asked the internet: "How did the store clerk and janitor meet?" And there were no results. Or, well there were, but completely unrelated ones. Not even the fan fiction results gave him any ideas. But Levi totally didn't read those for inspiration. He's better than that. Or so he likes to think.

He can't do it. He can't find Eren, and he can't find a decent excuse to look him up in the phone book, or go around town looking for him (a tried and failed method. He also got scolded by Hanji for being a stalker), so he had resorted to the internet to find out how the hell a store clerk and a janitor could meet. Coincidently, of course.

Google says they just don't meet. Google says that love stories must always begin when the two destined lovers are forced together, whether through school, a club, work. A broken elevator. Being neighbours. Things like that. None of those options really work for Levi. He still doesn't know where Eren works. And he is sure as hell not joining a club.

Levi asked Erwin if he would hire Eren, make him clean the shop so that Levi could linger after work hours and talk to him.

Erwin said no.

Erwin is a bastard.

As a result of his bastard-ness, and what Levi likes to call Karma, Levi has been going on and on about Eren all morning since he woke up. If he feels like shit, then Erwin should suffer.

"Eren's eyes are soooo green."

"He has the most adorable and fucking ridiculous accent I've ever heard."

"Eren's the sexiest twenty one year old I've laid my eyes on. Guys in their early twenties are supposed to be cute, not sexy. But he's cute as well. I'm not sure how that works, but I'm pretty sure that Eren Jaeger is a number of paradoxes, and the universe has to bend around his being for anything to make sense."

"He has a two coloured haired frenemy. I bet they're secretly best friends, but only when they have to be."

"Eren can multitask. He's fucking perfect."

"His work clothes are a polo shirt and joggers with holes. I attempted to take him out to get something to drink. It almost went well. That's the best that any almost-date I've ever been on has gone." Levi throws an arm over his face to hide the blush crawling onto his cheeks, even though Erwin can't see him. His mouth twitches into the smallest of smiles.

"Eren has the best vocabulary I've ever heard, except mine. We're totally neck and neck in the language department."

"He says his high school jam was Fitz and the Tantrums. And that a boy called Jean cried on the last day, and the girls, but he said he didn't. I don't think I believe him."

"He looks cute when he's confused, goes all red and everything. Even the tips of his ears." Levi can feel the giddiness bouncing around in him again, making him remember his first meeting with Eren and how he fell in love at first sight, something he never believed in at all. Until Eren, that is.

"Eren is a brunette, and brown is now a fully appreciated colour, because I make up for everyone's lack of enthusiasm for the colour brown. Why don't more people like brown. Brown is trees. Brown is chocolate. Brown is Eren's hair and eyelashes and eyebrows. He has really bushy eyebrows, but not quite as fluffy as yours, Erwin. Eren's hair is fluffy. I haven't touched it, but I can tell that it is."

"He has a sister called Mikasa, she keeps tabs on him. And he has a freckled friend called Marco. I reckon that Marco is part of the mafia, because he looks Italian and I don't trust Italian men that don't smoke cigars in public or don't speak with the accent. It's not natural. Eren has an odd taste in friends."

"Eren Jaeger supports Rangers, and I am okay with that."

Levi is laying restlessly on his couch -yes, he's taking over the couch; it's now called Levi's Leather Love Seat, and he's the only one that can say it right the first time around- with his head resting on the armrest. He calls out his list of Eren's Tidbits to Erwin in the kitchen, who's sitting at the table eating a bacon roll. He's trying to ignore Levi but it's a little hard when Levi is talking so loudly.

Levi doesn't like bacon, his nose crinkles at the smell wafting into the living room. He probably isn't going to eat brunch. When it's eleven in the morning, a meal at that time is called brunch. It is eleven oh two in the morning. The name will still do.

"Eren is a janitor. He cleans, Erwin, he CLEANS. That makes me happy. Why aren't you happy with me. Erwin. Erwin Smith. Smith. Smithy. Mum. Mother. Mummy."

"Levi," Erwin's deep voice whines back at him, the sound echoing through the kitchen. "Shut uuup."

Erwin may look big and scary, but in reality; he's an oversized baby. A man-child. Or rather, the opposite: he's like the mother that Levi never had. Levi's man-mother. "Dad" doesn't quite fit the bill because Erwin nags too much. There's that, and the fact that he insists on picking Levi up from work like Levi's some kid at primary school.

"You sound like you're reading out a report. I seriously don't understand how you can ramble like a love sick teenager and sound so goddamn serious at the same time."

Levi lifts his arm off his face, frowning up at the white ceiling. "I've never been more serious in my life." He pauses for a moment. "I've only ever been this serious one other time in my life. Maybe two. One of those times being when I told you that I didn't want to go here with you. I could've went myself, even if it were only to find Eren."

Dishes clatter, and Levi knows that Erwin has haphazardly left his oily dishes to sit and be very unclean in the kitchen sink. Where they will grow mould. If there's anything he hates most; it's mould. Erwin's back hair is also on that list, but he tries not to think about that too much.

"Go do your dishes." he spits at Erwin.

"It's your turn to do your dishes."

"I don't have any dishes."

"That might be true, but I can't be assed cleaning and I know you can. I can see you brimming with your Anticipation To Clean. It makes your hair glow ever so slightly purple. Blue, if you're outside."

Levi's GP has told him that he doesn't have OCD. However, his cleaning habits are pretty remarkable, so Erwin has devised a new name so that he can make fun of him for it; ATC. And he does make fun of him for it. Far too often.

"I'll clean them with your tongue. I'm not the one who's going to be using them again, after all." he deadpans.

Levi isn't sure the last time he used a plate, as opposed to a cup for tea or a can of food.

Levi isn't sure of the last time he ate a decent meal, if ever.

In the end, Levi ended up forgetting Eren's phone number. He's only human, things like memory loss happen, but it's still bad. Because what if Levi is told about Eren's birthday, and he forgets when it is? He goes to Survey each night, the pub where they met, in the hopes of being like the guy from The Script and his song The Man who Can't Be Moved, but the sad thing is, is that Levi doesn't even own a sleeping bag, so he'd have to change the lyrics a fair amount.

"People hand me money, they don't understand, I might be broke -feel free to give me cash- but right now I'm a very love sick, stalker-ish man."

One day, Levi is going to have to tell Eren about his parody. He really hopes he remembers to. But first he has to deal with being kicked out the bar each night because he stays too late, each night leaving him more and more depressed, though it's not because of the music that isn't Fitz and the Tantrums or because of the alcohol in his system.

Today though, Levi has to go to work -thank god his shift is at one in the afternoon- and he has the worst headache. His joints are also stiff from having to sleep on a couch for three months and so.

He misses his swivel chair in the Gorbals. He'd read books and had fallen asleep with his clothes still on while sitting on it. That red swivel chair was one of the few things that had given him quiet joy in the slums of his childhood.

So he goes behind the till, wearing his uniform consisting of a t-shirt with the store's logo. He only works part time, so he gets to leave at five in the evening. Brilliant. Because four hours of constant scanning beeps isn't going to do his head in.

He gets bored after an hour of slow business and the most recent customer had been in a hurry to leave after seeing his tired face. Levi has been told he looks even scarier when he's tired, and he likes this fact. No-one else is on shift for the rest of the day, so he doesn't have anyone else to intimidate, much to his disappointment. He straightens out the newspapers to his left on the counter, and he restocks the promotional sweets on his right. Oh, there's a sign that's gone wonky. He fixes that too. It isn't OCD. He's just bored. He just has ATC.

At three in the afternoon, his eyes are beginning to droop. He must've stayed out too long last night at Survey, and Hanji had kept him up with a lecture. Doesn't Levi know not to try to seek people out? Doesn't he know that he has to be responsible and go to bed on time? He would, Hanji, but sometimes life is hard on him. And so are his friends with their useless lectures.

He finishes growling "Have a nice day" at the customer buying a fuck ton of Pepsi and rubs at his eyes, where bags are growing heavier and his face is paler than it usually is. He's about to fall asleep at the blue speckled counter, with one arm keeping his head up as he leans onto a hand and damn it's the perfect way to fall asleep when suddenly:

"HOLY SHIT. There are Mars Bars' for thirty pence here. NOBODY sells Mars Bars' for thirty pence. That's insane. And coke. Why are there cans of coke for forty-five pence. Most places do it for eighty. I think I found my new favourite store."

Sure enough, a man with brown hair and bright green eyes walks towards the counter to buy his armfuls of sweets. And coke. Can't forget the forty-five pence coke. Eren is so busy grinning at his piles of sweets he's cradling that he doesn't notice Levi behind the till. He looks up with a smile, looking adorable in his navy blue hoodie and bleached jeans, then the smile drops and so does the entire pile of sweets that he's holding. His pile tumbles down to the floor with a loud clatter that wakes Levi up completely. Eren yelps in fear.

Eren runs out the store, and Levi is wondering what the hell he should do now, because right now he's just being frozen from Eren's sudden arrival, and that's not that useful. He should pick up Eren's mess. He hops over the counter, not bothering to use the gate because he swears he can never find it, and collects all the things in a big bundle that looks much bigger in his arms than it did in Eren's. Then again, Eren is taller than him. His arms are bigger. His dick probably is too-

Levi raises an eyebrow as Eren sheepishly comes back into the store, guiltily grimacing as he sees Levi picking up the items. He runs fingers through his hair, and the threads flop back into their previous place.

"S-sorry about that, I didn't expect to see you here… It sort of feels like I'm seeing you everywhere I go."

Levi knows that that is definitely not true.

"I live in the area; it's to be expected, right?" He says casually, plopping the massive pile of sweets onto the counter so he can scan them. Assuming that Eren still wants them. He glances back at Eren and his breath hitches, his insides tingling from giddiness.

Levi shakes his head in wonder, clearing his throat. "Why on earth do you have so many sweets?" Leaving the pile on the counter, he turns to face Eren, leaning against the counter edge with two hands reaching behind him.

Eren pats his stomach proudly. "I'm a growing boy. I need to keep up my strength." he grins.

Levi scoffs at him. "Tch. Last time I heard, you were twenty one. Boys stop growing when they're eighteen." Will Eren be impressed with his biology facts? Who knows?

"Well, you're just annoyed because you stopped growing at twelve."

Levi glares back at Eren. His mouth is half open at the insult, and as soon as Eren sees his glower he visibly steps back, but starts to laugh. That is, until Levi starts marching towards him and Eren sprints out the store again, swearing while still laughing.

On the middle of the path on the street, it looks as though Levi is going to hit Eren, with the way Eren crouches and hides his face like a child playing hide and seek. Of course, he doesn't, and instead chooses to bash him playfully on the shoulder.

"That was uncalled for." he snaps haughtily at Eren.

Eren laughs nervously, peeking through his hands, still crouching slightly. "Okay okay, don't make height jokes around you. Jesus, you're scary."

They go back inside, and Eren tells him how he found a tenner outside the shop, which is why he could afford to spend almost that amount on sweets. As he's scanning and packing the bags, Levi finds himself staring at Eren, no longer really paying attention to what he's saying. Levi has missed that face. And with the way he's smiling at him, just like he did that first night; it makes his eyelids droop lovingly and his chest throb with warmth.

Levi is Eren's whether he knows it or not.

He gulps and forgets himself in amidst his own flustered response to the feeling of Eren's fingers on his when he passes him the change, and then the bag. This is going to be goodbye, the moment he lets go. It took him this long just to find Eren again, and he might never do so after this. Eren frowns at him, trying to take the bag from him.

An idea strikes him, one that actually has some evidence to back it up if it's questioned. It's clever, and Levi is rarely clever around Eren.

"Hey Eren," Levi likes how his name feels in his lips. "There's a chance of winning an IPad if you enter the store competition, it's advertised on the receipt. If you want to enter, you just have to give us your phone number, and we'll tell you if you've won."

That was smooth. That was the smoothest he's ever been in his life. Eren tugs on the bag in their hands.

"I'm not sure-"

"It's free. Why would you say no to a free IPad."

Eren sighs and Levi knows he has won him over.

This time, Levi has Eren's number in his phone, he's memorized it -just in case- and if Eren asks him why he has his number, Levi can easily tell him he simply remembered it from when Eren read it out to him. Oh, but he doesn't need to worry about Levi handing out his personal information. Eren's sloppy signature at the bottom of the competition sheet confirmed that Levi's store wasn't allowed to do that.

Surely, surely he has an excuse to text or call him now? Hanji isn't in their apartment complex. He's safe. For now. And without him around, Levi can do what he wants without being lectured.

When he's back on his usual spot on the couch, he finds his old flip phone- having refused to allow Erwin buy him a more modern one- and presses the button to dial Eren's number.

"Hey," he says when Eren picks up, leaning forward on the couch. "I was wondering if you-"

"If you are hearing this, then you could leave me a message? Yeah, uh, go for."

It's not what Levi was looking for, but damn, even hearing the guy's voice on his voice mail has his heart soaring and makes him bite his lip in excitement. Then the beep stops. It's recording him. He doesn't know why he called. He just wanted to call Eren. This was a bad idea. He needed to have a reason, what's his reason? Reason?

"H-hey Eren, I was, I was wondering you go you like- Wait, I mean, I was wondering you go to my house? Erwin's house? Erwin's my room, friend, uh we're having movie a night with our other friend plural… and stuff… I'll, um, text you the address?" he realizes that Eren might think he wants to talk to him about the competition, and his articulation improves.

"Sorry; this isn't to say you won the IPad. But it'd be good if you did. It could be useful, maybe not for your work, but you know. The games on it are not bad. I hear it has a decent camera too and-"

The voicemail finishes, and cuts him off. Thank god it did, otherwise he'd end up rambling and going off on a tangent like an absolute moron.

When he hangs up on his end, he sees that his hands are trembling from nerves, he's gone bright red from having to talk and not knowing what to say, and yet somehow; he's never been happier.

Levi falls back onto his black leather couch, dropping his phone onto the carpeted floor. He sighs shakily. Erwin's gone out, he won't be back until later tonight, and he's going to have to tell him to invite everyone around so they can have a movie night. If Eren wants to come, that is. He hopes so. He really, really hopes so. Because he's not sure at all what would happen if he lost contact with Eren all over again.

As he reassures himself that the knife is still where he left it on the couch by his pillow, he sees the calendar sitting on the coffee table, as though it's waiting for him to open it and squeeze out his feelings onto the glossy paper through writing.

The ball point pen is also beside the calendar, untouched. It isn't rare for Erwin to leave things lying around, but suddenly Levi is very, very glad that Erwin left this calendar to his disposal. He reads over the last two dates he wrote in, and even though they are spaced out in terms of time; it was all so worth the wait.

"The day he came to my work to buy sweets was when I knew that Eren Jaeger could have my candy any day he likes. And he will, if he comes to the movie night. Because I will share my packet of Haribo with him."