Levi wonders if Eren had a nursing degree of some sort, or if his cleaning abilities as a janitor surpass those of cleaning floors.

No, but seriously.

Staring at his pale face for a few minutes in the mirror, bandages discarded in preparation of his shower and dirty clothes sitting on the closed toilet seat, he's kind of amazed at the magic his face has undergone. He thought for sure that that boot to the face would leave a scar, or even just a bruise. But no; there's nothing.

It kind of… exceeds Levi's standards. What even…?

Shivering from the cool morning air, he turns on the shower, waiting for it to heat up before going in and washing away the small remainders of his war wounds. Four guys against two! What a way to make a statement in this small town.

A little while later, when he's leaving his damp hair to dry naturally and in a fresh set of clothes, he trudges to the living room and sits on his leather couch, remembering about his calendar when he sees the pen on the coffee table.

Stretching his muscles that aren't as sore as they usually are, he shifts to the side in order to lift the cushion up to retrieve his calendar. Idly thinking about how he'll probably steal Erwin's bed more often, even if it does smell weird. Come to think of it, where is Erwin? Levi's hand only meets the fabric of the inner material. Nothing. No glossy paper hits his hand. His eyes widen fearfully.

Standing up frantically he heaves the cushion up and throws it away, not caring when it knocks something over.

Levi's carrying that calendar to his grave; no one can ever see it-

And then, like it's the most fucking natural thing in the world, he sees Hanji sitting upside down on the Puke Couch, reading his calendar like its some god damn broadsheet newspaper. Hanji's glasses are sitting on his head, but no, they won't be there for long, not if Levi can help it.

"GIVE IT BACK." he stomps over to Hanji. "OI, shitty glasses!"

Hanji shushes him obnoxiously, rolling off of the couch from his position in one fell backward swoop onto the floor, like a pro gymnast.

"Ssh, I'm studying your stalker tendencies! Just one more feckin' minute and I'll have it fully analysed!"

"NO." He snatches the glasses off of Hanji's head, holding them out of his reach, not that he's even looking at Levi. "I'll snap them in half."

Hanji bolts upright and bares his teeth as he crawls towards Levi. "Go hifreann leat you sunovabitch!" Hanji abandons the calendar and crawls around him, attempting to climb onto him and pull him down.

"What the hell does that even mean?!" Levi throws away his glasses and crouches down the pick up his calendar when suddenly he's being attacked by Hanji's full weight and pinned to the floor.

Hanji pins his arms down and spits in his face. "GIVE THEM BACK! COIMHEAD FEARG FHEAR NA FOIGHDE!"

"THEY'RE OVER THERE! FUCK OFF! STOP SPEAKING IN TONGUES YOU SATANIST!" His struggles under the weight of the freaking heavy Irishman, gagging at the awful stench of his breath. Morning breath ugh.

"NOT 'TIL I'M DONE WI' YE!"

"I FUCKIN' SAID I DON'T HAVE THEM!"

"EIREANN GO BRACH!" Hanji screams as he dives off of Levi and onto the floor, putting his glasses back on as though he's making a point. Then he flips the coffee table and sneers viciously at Levi. Sticks his tongue out like he hasn't just made a mess of the living room.

They have a small stare off. Levi likes to think he wins because Hanji's eyes swiftly clear up and he blinks with hazel eyes back at Levi.

"I can conclude that you are completely fecked." he lies down on the middle of the floor, completely ignoring the overturned coffee table. "And you are officially a stalker with bad intentions. God help that poor boy."

The heat crawls up Levi's neck and he sits up, crossing his arms after throwing the calendar back onto the couch. He sets the coffee table upright, picking p Erwin's documents that had fallen off.

"If I had bad intentions then-" Suddenly a noise emits from his phone in his trouser pocket which he takes out. It's Eren. He smiles gleefully. "Eren wouldn't be calling me."

Hanji protests and it hits him like a cold, wet slap in the face when he realizes. 'Oh shit, Eren's calling him. Again!'

Levi flips the phone open, biting his lip. He stares into nothing as his stomach falls and does flips along the way. "Ha-hello?"

"LEVI!" He jumps at the loud voice coming through the speaker. "I AM SO SORRY FOR YE-YESTERDAY. Please let me make it up to you?! Um, we can get lunch and I c-can 'pologise in person? If you're not too beat up?"

Is… is Eren asking him out on a date?

All the blood leaves Levi's face and even Hanji's eccentricity evaporates in favour of a concerned expression. 'What is it?' He mouths, crawling over to Levi so he can listen in to the conversation. Levi swats him away, hand shaking from nerves.

"U-um, s-sure. Make it up; make it down to me, sure. Lunch, food, a c-café? Eh, I'm not died, uh, dead, but I'm practically in heaven-" Hanji's roughly cupping his face in his hands. 'Relax.' He mouths, and it dawns on him that he's so glad that Hanji's here.

Well. No. Actually he's not glad because Hanji's annoying Levi with his putrid smell, greasy hair and hands that will probably leave red marks on his face which he's currently squashing like you would with a baby. Levi glares darkly at him, then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Yeah. Okay. We can get lunch. Um. I have work at one o'clock though…"

Eren somehow sounds disappointed and relieved at the same time. "Ai~, well, maybe another day?"

Levi's eyes shoot open and he gestures frantically in mid air. "No. I mean, we can go out early. Brunch. Time is it…"

He lifts the phone from his face. It's half past nine. How long did he sleep for, last night? The sun was up when he woke up… Wow…

"Half nine, er… I can meet you in two hours?" Two hours. Two hours? HOW THE HELL IS HE GOING TO GET READY IN JUST TWO HOURS FOR A DATE?!

A breathy chuckle emits from the phone and he blushes, suddenly feeling small. "That sounds great! How about we meet at Greggs bakery in the high street? They have tables, and their food is pretty decent. Saver menu deal an' all."

"Aha, sounds great." He says flatly, still completely zoned out at the thought of what the hell he should wear and-

"See you then, Levi!"

There's a beep. Aaand Eren's voice is gone. Hanji starts to snort, the sound making its way through his mouth until it's a full blown belly laugh and he's clutching his sides and rolling on the floor. As soon as it started, he stops laughing and moves directly in front of Levi.

"You're well and truly fecked."

Levi gulps, remembering Eren's husky laugh on the phone and shudders pleasantly. "I'm not sure that I want to be un-fucked." he cheeses.

He lets out a shaky sigh. An. Actual. Date. Lunch with Eren! It's practically sitcom worthy. Levi would make a fine T.V show character. Levi stares at the phone in his unmoving hand and grimaces. He reeeeally doesn't want to. But. He may have to. A last resort, seeing as Hanji's tactics usually work in making Levi appear more normal… Don't they?

"Can you help me out?"

Hanji frowns. "Eh? With what?"

"Get ready for my date."

The face of the man in front of him falls and his eyebrows crease upwards as he pouts sadly. "Oh, Levi, no, I don't think he meant it like that."

Lost in his own day dreams, Levi nods curtly to himself. "I'm going to get him flowers. I'll wear a suit."

He can see it now; Eren looking at him when they meet at Greggs, all sleek and black and a perfect match for Eren's white outfit… Church bells not too far ahead and a house full of cleaning supplies awaiting them both…

He bounces up and marches towards the door, picking up his spare key and tucking his phone into his jean pocket.

"LEVI! No! You're not getting out of this flat!" Hanji crawls after him through the hallway, tugging at his trouser leg.

"Would you let me go? If you're not helping, I sure as fuck need to sort myself out."

"IT'S NOT A DATE! IT'S JUST FRIENDLY!"

Levi scoffs at him, putting on his shoes at the front door while Hanji clings to him. "Fuck that, I'm still getting him flowers."

"NO!"

Levi opens the door, dragging Hanji along with him until he stamps on his head with a glower fearsome enough to make a buff boxer run away screaming. He knows. He's practiced this look. But of course, it has no effect on Hanji, who continues to clamber after him down the stairwell.

"MIKE!" Hanji hollers as he follows Levi down the stairs in a brisk walk, not moving faster unless Levi does. Levi starts to sprint. "HELP ME GET LEVI HE'S RUNNING AWAY!"

As he walks outside, he hears Mike grumbling at Hanji in the entrance to the flats. "What's with all the noise? You smell agitated."

"Oh Mike, you know how he is, right?" Hanji leans against the door. "Go follow him and makes sure he doesn't feck things up anymore than he already has."

A few hours later, Levi walks towards Gregg's bakery in the high street with a cheap bouquet of flowers from Tesco. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to find a suit (not that he could even afford one in the first place) however he did manage to find a nice olive green, chequered shirt from a charity shop to wear over his black t-shirt. And luckily for him, the blue jeans that he had on weren't worn out at the ends. He hasn't seen Mike. Good. It should stay that way. Still, he's wondering how on earth he's able to hide himself so discreet-

Looking inside the window of Greggs, he sees a huge figure in a dark coat, face hiding behind a newspaper as he hunches over the table -in the centre of the shop- eyeing Levi with a piercing blue eyed gaze. Grimacing at Mike's idiocy, Levi rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, wanting to show off his forearms despite the cold. He sighs heavily, leaning against the building as he clutches the flowers to his chest and closes his eyes.

He may have taken one flower out the bouquet along the way and played "he loves me, he loves me not" with one of the big ass daisies. Along the way a little boy went up to him as he walked down the street and asked him why Levi was talking to himself and torturing a flower. Levi just shook his head at the child and walked away. Kids these days.

Right then there's a scuffle of shoes and his eyes shoot open, body shifting upright in the direction of what he hopes is a familiar head of brown hair and green eyes. There's warmth in the pit of his stomach when he sees Eren's face and his chest hitches when he sees that Eren has flowers too!

Then he notices…

They both have the exact same bouquet of flowers.

He raises an eyebrow, smirking ever so slightly. "Well, one of us is going to have to change."

Eren's face is blank for a moment and he doubles up in laughter. Levi suppresses a dopey grin, biting his lip, at the sight of Eren's beaming face.

"That's not even the right context. But whatever, let's go inside and pretend this isn't awkward at all." Eren flushes as talks, scratching his head and hiding his face.

Awkward? It's rather sweet, actually. Great minds think alike, after all. Lover's intuition. Next thing he knows they'll be finishing each other's sentences…

Ah. That is… Unless Eren means that it's awkward because this isn't a date. But, he has flowers and asked him out to lunch…

To apologize, Hanji would say.

He groans inwardly, hanging his head back and trying not to feel mortified.

A few minutes later, Levi has a flapjack sitting in front of him because he's never heard of them and Eren tells him that they're nice, and hey; Eren's paying, so why the hell not. Go for it, Levi. Poison yourself with the foreign food. Might as well, seeing as he thought this was actually a date.

At the table, he sits opposite Eren who has a sandwich and a bottle of orange juice, looking around at the tartan strips of wallpaper lining the wall, remembering all too well about what Hanji said about him staring. And talking too much. And sitting too close. And being himself. He should really try and not be himself. Be like Erwin! Hanji said. Yeah, well Hanji can go to fuck.

Even so, he reminds himself half-heartedly that Hanji had been right about this not being a date and that maybe he should leave it to Eren to do the talking.

"Uh so, why did you get me flowers? I got you some to apologise for yesterday, but um, why did you…?"Eren asks with a confused grimace.

Quick Levi, improvise.

"I got them for your grandmother."

Eren stares blankly at him, and when Levi tries to make eye contact, he fails miserably because Eren's got that intense gaze thing going on and yeah he's not really good at dealing with that.

Bad idea. When has Eren even mentioned his grandmother?

"I mean, I got them because you uh, you cleaned me up. Took my sorry ass to your house. And all that jazz." Levi doesn't look at Eren and decides to glower at Mike, who's moved a few tables closer to them. Eren hasn't noticed the abominable idiot shadow-man, much to his relief.

Levi ducks his head down and begins to text Hanji under the table.

"S.O.S Not a date, conversation topics? Can I look at him? Or would that be weird? Can I tell him he looks pretty? He does. He looks pretty damn hot, like, I'm pretty sure he could beat Johnny Depp in a beauty contest."

It takes him a full five minutes to type it out, thanks to his incompetence in technology. Eren's eyebrows are furrowed when he looks back up -he lets himself look- and he diverts his gaze to the tablecloth. Déjà vu, much?

"Who are you texting?" Eren asks, and is that a hint of contempt in his voice? Ooh is he jealous? That's not what Levi's going for, I mean, he's trying to make sure Eren can read his intentions but at the same time not because if Eren knew he thought that this was a date then… Yeah…

"Hanji. Remember the thing you met at Erwin's, uh, my place?" he mumbles to the plain tablecloth and clutches his hands together timidly, feeling his cheeks burn in humiliation because heeeelp what does he do?

"Oh yeah, I remember him. He didn't talk much to me much." Thankfully, Eren doesn't read too much into it or ask if they're dating (Ew). "How did it go with the housing officer? I think you got a different one from the first, is that right?"

"Uh huh."

"And… you'll still be getting a place within a week."

"Yup."

"…"

"…"

"I'm uh, gonna go take a shit." Ugh. UGH. What is Levi even doing with his life? Someone kill him now.

"Bathroom's that way." Eren points to the left with his thumb, hiding his face in his other palm in what must be embarrassment.

"T-Thanks." he darts out his chair, almost sending the whole table flying until Eren catches it.

"It's alright… I got it. Just don't… hurt yourself."

Levi passes a fat, rosy cheeked man in a suit on the way to the toilet, thinks to himself, "Wow he genuinely looks like a pig." Then said man walks into the woman's bathroom. Levi heads inside the men's bathroom in an awful attempt to escape reality.

Hanji still hasn't replied. That bitch! After all they've been through… these past three months… and he doesn't even have the heart to help Levi out in his most dire moment of need! If he says 'you should've stayed in the flat' he will rip Hanji's throat into three pieces. Three pieces, because the more precise you are about your threats, the more seriously the person is likely to take them.

After ten minutes of calming down and not taking a shit (because he would stink if he actually did take a shit) he washes his hands and walks back towards the table. He figures 'hey, if Hanji's not here to tell me what to do, I might as well discard the 'advice' I've been given and do my own thing'. After all, Eren's stuck with him for this long. Which reminds him: he needs to add an extra entry to the calendar to make up for the one he missed yesterday.

"So." Levi abruptly sits down at the table, raising a dark eyebrow at Eren. "You sure know how to pick your fights, huh? Mind telling me what that was all about yesterday? Where we both almost lost a limb?" Well. Maybe Levi was more likely to have lost a limb than Eren. Eren was kicking ass like a fucking boss.

Eren blows a breath, slouching into his seat which he had been hunching over in before. Mike stares daggers at him in the corner of his eye, so he deliberately moves his seat closer to Eren, somewhere that's actually near the table and not jutting into the chair behind him, and rests his chin on his palm, making sure to avoid putting his elbow on the plate of forgotten flapjack. Instead, his mouth makes an odd stomach noise, and he has to cover his closed mouth as Eren begins to talk.

"Oh, yeah, you'd want to know that, I guess… Um. Well, I kinda have a habit of picking fights. Always have done. But it's usually for a good cause. Like, I'll pick a fight with Jean if I'm mad or if he's pissing me off, but if it's with a stranger, it's either because they're hurting someone in my family or pissing me off." …Aren't both scenarios for the same reason? Remind Levi to never piss Eren off…

"But you know you were so cool!" Eren's tan face brightens, green eyes lighting up as though the yellow in his eyes is actually stars. "Fighting that guy like pow pow pow!" Eren motions with his arms some childlike punches (Levi's pretty sure he kicked the guy, but whatever).

Levi shrugs. "That was nothing. I'm sure you did better with all your kung-fu magic."

Eren chuckles and wow is that a nice sound, vibrating deep in Levi's chest so that it sends his heart beating a little faster. "Mm, well, I reckon that my mum would've been a yes voter, so I take the referendum stuff seriously. Like, I've got a hold of all the facts, I've got banners all made up and I'm hoping to go to some of the events in the summer! Really Scottish festival stuff, hmm, Armin's gonna love it."

There it is again, with the past tense when he talks about his mum. "Did your mum die?" he asks bluntly. Well, better to ask direct, rather than assume wrongly, right?

Eren's face falls slightly, as though he didn't mean for it to but did anyway. "Yeah. Alcohol poisoning. When I was thirteen."

Levi eyebrows twitch at the knowledge. "Is that why you went to Mike?"

Shaking his head sadly, Eren sighs. "No, I've been seeing people since I was four years old, when I got put into foster care. I'm really used to having to explain my life story to strangers, so uh, that's why I went all weird on you the other day. I liked him though. He was like the father I never had. Or wanted."

There's a long pause and Levi doesn't really know what to say. He himself hates it when people apologize for his loss, so why would he do so for Eren?

"Was your mum an alcoholic?" Eren fidgets in his chair, running a hand obsessively through his hair, staring at Levi blankly.

"No… Well, I don't really know. No-one ever told me properly. At first I thought it was because she overdosed on antidepressants. She uh, she had severe… bi polar depression, so I don't think anyone really looked into her case. She'd been like that ever since her mum died when she was thirteen. And she also had a fear of being outside, just like her mum. Yeah. I had to hold her hand when I took her out to the shop. If she happened to be awake when I went to her house." Eren talks quietly and shifts in his chair, no longer looking at Levi.

Levi's first instinct is to ask more, because naturally he just wants to know everything about Eren's life but… Even a terrible social cue reader like him can read that the atmosphere has suddenly gone very… very heavy.

He places a hand on Eren's shoulder and looks at him solemnly. "I have absolutely no idea what to say, but I hope that you have healed from your loss over time."

Eren giggles with a grin that shows his teeth and somehow Levi seems to have lifted a barrier. "That's alright. It doesn't bother me much to talk about it." Blatant lie. "Um. I'm not really the best for light conversation, huh?"

Suddenly it hits Levi like an epiphany and he reaches his other hand to Eren's shoulder. "You said you live with Mikasa, right?"

Eren's mouth closes and he frowns in confusion at the sudden change of topic. "Yes…?"

Levi walked Eren to Mikasa's house. Levi had walked Eren to his house.

"Who's your roommate?"

"Um, his name's Daz-"

"I thought you lived with Armin and Mikasa?"

Eren shrinks under Levi's sudden intense gaze that's burning with excitement. He took Eren home. Holy shit; he technically knows where Eren lives!

"I-I do, but they live in a different room from me. There's like," Eren counts on his fingers and stares into space. "six of us in that one house?"

"Wow."

"I know. The rent is so cheap. Not to mention it's a flood zone so yeah, it's practically nothing."

Levi moves his hands away from Eren's shoulders and picks up the flapjack, popping a section of it into his mouth so that it crunches loudly, still watching Eren eagerly.

"Am I boring you? You look really annoyed…"

Levi frowns. What…? Where the hell did the man get that idea from?

"That's just my face…"

Eren frowns as well, as though he's competing with Levi. "You always tend to look a little pissed off." Wow, way to be blunt about offending someone Eren…

"It works for me."

"How?" Eren tilts his head and Levi likes the way the light hits his hair.

"It makes annoying people leave me alone and it's a free Halloween mask. I can just show up as myself and no-one says a word." Levi deadpans, trying not to laugh at his own joke. By the looks of it, Eren has no idea what to say, and he's completely fine with this.

His phone makes a noise in his pocket and when he checks it. No, it's not a text from Hanji; it's his alarm telling him he has work. They spent almost an hour and a half in the bakery already? No wonder that older waitress has been giving him odd looks, which he had returned with some of his own when he had been avoiding Eren's gaze earlier.

Levi stands up, picking up Eren's flowers on the floor and gives it to him, fishing into his pocket for his other present.

Eren examines the bottle of hand sanitizer that been handed to him. Levi takes the bouquet that had been intended for him and sniffs it dreamily.

"Hand wash." Eren shakes his head slowly at the bottle.

Blinking at Levi with bright green eyes, Levi leads Eren out of the shop, glad that they've already paid because so far he actually really likes this attention he's getting from Eren. Sure, it makes him a little hot under the collar and look away more often than not, but hey; Eren's attention is the best there is. Drown yourself in it, Levi.

They stand outside the bakery together, Eren trying to figure out why the hell he's been given a bottle of cleaning stuff and Levi trying not to look at Eren for too long and especially not eye up his outfit because wow does that black fleece suit Eren and his mind is really not where it should be.

A few moments later, Levi's walking away from Eren with a cheap bouquet from Eren in his hand. He has a dazed look on his face that has on goers looking as though they think he's high, but he doesn't really care.

It's not until he reaches the shop that's a twenty minute walk from the bakery that he realises with a bright red face: 'oh shit I just kissed Eren Jaeger on the cheek and just walked away like it was nothing'.

How fucking ham-fisted is he?!

He sits in front of the coffee table, pen in hand because fuck life and fuck everything because what the hell has he done he has ruined his entire life and what the hell, what the actual hell-

He's saved from his inner ramblings by a text, and when he sees who it is: of course it's from Eren.

'Call me whn u get ur hoose an ill hlp u pak ur things, if u need me 2. Mebbe Erwin cn hlp u? He has a car. We cn go homeware shoppin ^.^'

Ooooh thank every God in the existence of the universe.

Maybe he just imagined that he kissed Eren?

That would explain why he hadn't realised for so long… because he hadn't actually realised at all, he'd just imagined it.

Still, if he hadn't kissed Eren, then the look on his face before Levi left made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Ah fuck it. Fuck life. Fuck fuck fuck fuck-

On the calendar in the dated box, he scribbles into it with a flustered hand pulling sharply at his hair with an unacceptable crimson staining his cheeks.

"I'm fucked Hanji was right I'm fucked I'm so bloody fucked it's unreal. I'm hallucinating and I told Eren my face is a Halloween mask-" And the rest is all squiggles.