Of course; the shouting just had to have come from the door that Eren just opened. Levi's destined accommodation. Oh yeah. He'll be living the life, that's for sure. (Not.)
Glancing behind Eren with his mouth down-turned, Levi sees a short hallway. There's an opening to a kitchen on the right, and on his left... Well. It seems to be a living room but it sure as hell won't be Levi's living room. Not until that couch is cleared of the blood. Man, not again... That's like the ninth time this year he's had to encounter blood.
Three young men- actually, no, they aren't men. The dumb fucks who are all clearly children, possibly the Three Stooges, are bouncing around on a two seated, black leather couch. (it's a bit soon for Déjà vu, isn't it?) A tall blonde, wearing Nike joggers and a football top that's tight over his biceps, is standing about, gawking at the others with a vacant expression. A weedy brunette with an olive green shirt is lurching forward on his seat, ripping his shirt up in a heroic attempt to make a bandage for the tanned guy with a buzz cut, who's currently bleeding onto the leather.
That's to be known as the Bloody Couch, then. (Levi's going to need a loooot of disinfectant, a couple dozen sponges; and he's never sitting on that thing. Ever.) Although the injury probably looks worse than it actually is.
"Eh, eh, sh-should I go git Isle? Isle'll help us, aye?"
The blonde one is squeezing a candle, and the handle of a bloodied bread knife, as he shifts from foot to foot in torn up trainers. Suddenly, the older woman from before is flitting through the open door behind Levi, telling him with a sweet voice not to worry as he's ushered further into the hallway and invited to 'go into his room, down the hall, right hand side'.
The jumpy blonde almost topples onto her as he spins round to face the floral shirted woman, blue eyes wide and mouth gaping open. He juts his hands into the air with a hysterical gesture when she purses her lips at him in a scowl.
"OH, NANABA, I DIDNA MEAN TO, like, uh, uh, WE WERE JUST PISHIN' ABOOT, LIKE...!? I didna stab him, like, he was, aw FUCK, he was just tryin' ta put the knife through the candle an' whatever." The knife and candle land on the floor and the blonde smears his hands down his flushed face. "GO HELP KEITH! HE'S FUCKIN' BLEEDIN'." The blonde guy wrings his hands, upper body rigid as he darts between the guy bleeding on the couch and the white haired woman called "Nanaba".
Eren, who had been an audience to the entire performance with a furrowed brow, simply blinks and says, "Um, I happen to know first aid?" Then he tiptoes towards the couch, not taking his eyes away from the knife on the floor.
Damn. What a lucky guy, getting to experience Eren's first aid skills. He better appreciate how clean he's going to be. Levi decides to ignore the whole situation, trying not to gag at the smell of blood and wistfully hopes not much of the metallic liquid spilled. (Blood leaves a brown stain; as though someone took a sweet long dump on the couch and that same piece of shit marked its territory on the material).
He wanders idly down the sickly coloured hall (the amber carpet's got dampness. It needs to be cleaned, maybe even renewed), remembering that this is why he keeps a knife under his pillow. He finds a promising white door one up from the kitchen, opens it; and discovers a bathroom that he wishes he hadn't found.
Levi's not religious, but...
Dear god.
Orange dry rot scales the pipes at the far right corner, close to the floor. No bath in sight; just a shower hose attached to the wall behind a flaccid shower curtain. Stains are smeared on the floor from where water has been left to dry, not mopped up.
The toilet seat's been left up. The cabinet surface is cluttered with dust, condoms litter every available surface. Kiddie stickers of octopuses on the sink and the ceiling grin at him with toothless smiles, and on the cabinet shelf there's a toothbrush (but noticeably no toothpaste) that doesn't look like it's ever been used and oh holy hell what on earth happened to that poor toilet brush?!
The yellowing toilet brush hides behind the dusty toilet without a container. Levi stalks into the filthy waste land with his box of belongings clutched tightly to his chest, getting a closer look. Has this toilet brush ever seen the light of day? Has it ever been dunked in a merciful dose of bleach? Levi feels offended on behalf of that poor brush.
Knowing that the bathroom is first on his To Clean list, Levi hurriedly escapes in search of the door to his new room. Shuddering at the scarring memory of the room he just left, he braces himself for what has yet to come. Welcome to Hell, Eren said. This is fucking Hell, Levi thought. Well at least they can agree on some things! Does that mean they have something in common? Levi should ask him that! Ask him what the fuck he thought he was playing at, bringing Levi to a dirty loony bin!
This time, he encounters a bedroom. Thank god; it's actually decent. It's pretty bare and basic. A single bed lies in the corner; two small, brown chests of drawers guard each side of the room. On top of the bed there's a pile of packaged bed sheets, a sheathed toothbrush, toothpaste, a face cloth and towels of various kinds sit on the bed. Not bad, he can make do with this. Plus it saves money on having to buy furniture and bedding. (Hey, just because this is all temporary until he gets his own place, that's not to say he won't know how to sneak the bed out the window when the time comes...)
The white walls look suspicious with their "blue-tack was once here" marks and the dents, but overall, it's reasonably okay. It's disgusting compared to Erwin's place. But that's the thing; this room is Levi's, kind of. Erwin's home isn't Levi's; it never was or will be, in any shape or form. And when he really thinks about it… he's dealt with conditions much worse than this.
He swiftly takes his leave after placing the brown box on the bed, returning to the living room where Eren's sitting beside the bandaged guy, who appears to be lounging on the couch, revelling in the treatment and attention with a smug smirk, as though being stabbed is actually nothing. Huh. Levi might tolerate that one. Jitters McBlonde seems to have ditched the party along with Nanaba, and the brunette stripper is-
HOLY SHIT.
Levi has to do a double take. He never got a good look the first time he saw the room. It could also be the fault of his failing eyesight. But why would his eyes forget to inform him about this?!
"Hey you!" he calls out to the brown haired boy. A sense of giddiness rolls around in his gut. "What's your name?"
With a startled squeak, the boy peers round to face Levi, grass coloured eyes bulging. He bolts upright at the sound of Levi's bark.
"Uh-uh, sorry... I'm Bertholdt? Ah," With a tilt of his head, he eyes Levi, biting his lip before stage whispering. "You must be my new flat mate. Sorry, uh, we got a bit carried away with the knives when we were messing about with the candles, sorry..." he glances behind Levi and his mouth curls down.
"Ah, sorry, I think Nanaba and Reiner went to get the first aid kit... This man here, is he your friend? Sorry, I didn't know that. Uh, he said he knows first aid, but ah, sorry, I really didn't mean for this to happen, especially on your first day here, sorry. I really appreciate the help..." Bertholdt plays with his three way parted fringe with trembling fingers, his forehead beginning to dampen and shine.
Levi shakes his head slowly in disbelief. This guy's his flat-mate (Fucking hell that sounds so British. Oh wait, Levi isBritish). He'll have to share a space with this stranger.
Levi doesn't think he'll mind. And if he can clean, he'll like him even more. Like him even more, you ask? Yes; Levi already likes him.
THAT GUY'S FUCKING TINY.
And yes, even Levi can say that.
BERTHOLDT IS UP TO LEVI'S WAIST -IF EVEN THAT- JESUS CHRIST.
"Okay, well, we're friends." Levi strides across the room, taking Bertholdt's hand to shake it firmly as the latter smiles at him confusedly and limply takes his hand.
LEVI HAS FOUND THE PLATONIC LOVE OF HIS LIFE.
Levi ruffles his hair affectionately before sitting beside Dr. Eren on the floor, glancing back at Bertholdt who's still looking at him with wide olive eyes, reminding him a little of Marco. The floor needs hoovered. Levi doesn't have a hoover. Damn.
Bertholdt must be older than Levi first thought. The manager told him over the phone that the supported accommodation takes in people from the age of 16 to 24, and judging by Bertholdt's subtle facial hair, he has to be at least around 17 or 18.
"Hey, so, do you have any cleaning supplies?" Levi asks Bertholdt.
Bertholdt tilts his head to the side in thought after shooting him an odd look. It's familiar, that look… Where's he seen it before? Oh, right! Eren usually looks at him like that. Wait that might be a bad thing-
"There's a hoover and mop in a cupboard at the end of the hall... Sorry, I'd offer you some of mine but, ah, I forgot to go out and get some last time I was out shopping, sorry."
Levi doesn't believe that for a second. Not after seeing the bathroom. Who can even imagine the kitchen? Levi and this guy have very different ideas as to what "clean" means. He'll have to teach this guy a lesson or two, that's for sure. But there's a free hoover. That's a huge plus in Levi's book. But it means he'll probably have to buy his stash of cleaning stuff from scratch, seeing as he couldn't take Erwin's. (Levi needs his stash there for when he visits)
The blonde guy pokes his head through the opened door. "Hey Bert, there's a guy out front who says he can give Keith a lift to the hospital. Nana' reckons he might need stitches. Here, I'll help ya out."
Keith speaks up for the first time, frowning so that large creases appear in his forehead. "No, no. I'm fine, Reiner. It's just a scratch."
"That's not what you were cryin' about earlier. If anything, I'm pretty sure those were tears of pain." Eren raises an eyebrow at Keith, who ducks his head down. "No need to be a man's man in front of your friends and a couple of strangers, now." Eren motions for Reiner to give him the first aid kit as he holds the shirt-bandage down. Now that he mentions it, Keith does look kind of pale...
"I'm FINE!" he roars.
Eren rolls his eyes at Keith and grips the cloth tighter so that he whimpers. "I don't mean to sound like my sister, but, yeah. You're going to the hospital. You want help carrying him out?"
Keith protests loudly as Reiner loops an arm around his broad shoulders and unbalancing Eren, seeing as he's a fair bit shorter than the other two. Levi and Bertholdt follow him out to the car where Marco can be seen sitting on the hood of his Honda, hands swarming the air around him when he sees the blood stain on Keith's leg. In a flustered panic he opens the car door of the passenger seat and glances back at Eren with startled eyes. All the colour drains from his freckled face.
Eren unhooks a limping Keith from his person. "Marco, I have a present for you. Happy Birthday. And before you ask, it's not the stripper; it's the post-war dude with the buzz cut. He's tan, didn't you tell me that you like tan guys? You do now. Oh, and he's bleeding. Little bit of blood right there on his leg for ya. Jeez, I'm sure fulfilling a lot of your kinks today with this one guy. He's aaaall yours."
Nanaba totters outside to the car. Keith and his friends bundle into the car as Marco glares at Eren through the window while asking if Keith's okay, tending to him in the passenger seat. Reiner demands that he starts driving; growling at him savagely in the back seat, a shirtless Bertholdt bites his nails and Nanaba lamely tries to divide Reiner from the front seat with a hand. They eventually drive away (into the non-existent sunset, to live happily ever after). Eren kicks the ground softly.
"Aw shit!" Eren's head flicks upwards suddenly. "There goes my lift home. Should only take me just over half an hour to walk there, but," he purses his lips in a grimace. He glances at Levi. "You got more stuff to pick up? I've got time to kill."
Levi shakes his head, grimacing at the memory of the dirty flat. "I need to go shopping."
"Ai~ Well, Tesco should only be about fifteen minutes away. Off we go then."
After five minutes of complete silence and staring at the urban life they pass by; it suddenly hits Levi.
"You said you made out with a guy."
His breathing hitches at the knowledge and he stops walking for a moment, narrowing his eyes at Eren. He remembers now, when Eren had talked about taking weed, he said that he made out with a guy because he thought he was cute. It was either a one time thing for him, or it reflects his sexuality. Latter. Latter. Go on, Eren, choose the second option. Eren stops walking, challenging Levi with a green eyed glare.
"Uh huh, and?"
...That doesn't really imply much. Work with him here, Eren, come on.
Levi takes a deep breath that fills his lungs so much that it hurts. "Are you gay?"
Eren doesn't say anything and Levi cringes slightly in panic. "Because I mean, I am. No judgement. But you know... I keep hearing all this stuff about there being loads of sexualities, and I don't really understand all of that and whatever. But you know what's convenient?" he gives Eren a pointed look and they start walking again.
"Scotland don't care. Scotland don't give a shit. You want dick? You want some person with tits and a dick? You want some? We'll give it to yeh. We'll give you a fucking marriage as well. I'm not calling it "gay marriage" because you know what; it's the fucking same thing as it would be with a straight couple. You're not religious? You got no fans? You got no ground? Have a bloody civil partnership. Although, I reckon you'd look quite nice in a dress, Eren. Do you cross-dress?"
Levi tries to picture it in his mind, imagining Eren in a red cocktail dress, wearing the sultry smirk from before when he opened the door earlier. Yup, sounds good to him.
"You should try it." He muses. "I tried it one time at a pub for a dare but I am not going to tell you about that because you are giving me the odd look, that never means anything good, and I should probably stop talking now..."
Eren looks forward, not looking at Levi as a blush reaches his tan cheeks and continues trudging along the path, shaking his head. Aaah shiiiiit. Levi really needs to watch his mouth around this guy. How many times is he going to screw this up? Like, really? Cross dressing? Marriage? Fucking "The Wealdstone Raider" inside jokes? (Okay, but... that last one is kind of excusable. Levi finds no fault in his humour)
He's pretty sure there was an article on small talk and flirting in OK magazine that told him not to mention serious stuff like politics, religion and The Future into conversations... He's kind of jumped around the Levels of Friendship as well by delivering his life story to Eren. He never was good at playing by the rules. Although to be fair on himself, Eren explained his life first. Eren's just as bad as him.
"To answer your first question, yeah. I'm pretty gay. Gay as Broadway, in fact. I come with the singing part, but not the dancing part. Can't co-ordinate my body for the life of me. You've got an... An interesting train of thought-"
Eren lets out a laugh that almost sounds like a sneeze, sticking his pink little tongue between his front two teeth to try and stop himself from laughing anymore. But Levi wants to hear him laugh more, he sounds like a twelve year old little boy when he properly laughs and it's actually kind of amazing to hear, makes his heart do all sorts of things.
His eyes crinkle up at the sides, and Levi feels the bubbling urge to laugh too, but he remembers that Eren probably isn't as innocent as he first thought he was. Levi's not very good at judging people from a first glance, it seems...
"Yeah, okay. I guess everyone that ends up at Swansea has to be a least a little weird. Hell, I'm pretty weird myself. You just ask Mikasa and Armin, they'd tell you." Levi probably will. He knows where they live… Maybe he should drop by, see what they're like and what they think of Eren. And himself, if Eren talks about him, that is.
Eren sticks his hands into his pockets. "I wonder what would happen if we just left you to your own devices with a camera. You'd make an amazing blog, or you tube account, or something. You'd just dish out what's what to your viewers and be like:
"If you've seen dick you're probably, most likely, half a gay and a half and three quarters, although this is the UK so we don't use quarters we use pennies. Oh wait, that looks like penises when you spell it wrong. Speaking of which, don't forget to wash your hands after handling your genitals. Foreskin is nasty stuff, kids." I would watch that. That'd entertain me for hours like a dog with a bone."
Levi's left a marvellous impression on this man. He might just live up to the image Eren provided for shits and giggles. (Not that Levi giggles…)
Levi nods; peering past Eren to take a look at the man made waterfall beneath the bridge they're on. ...It's polluted, to say the least, but not that bad considering there's nuclear waste thrown into other rivers.
At least you can tell the water was once clear and if trees can make a home by the bank then it can't be too bad. The smell of piss in the air, however, tells him otherwise. Or right; there's caravans on the field beside the river, must be the Gypsies Toilets then.
"I could blog about my parkour. I really hope I remembered my grapnel..."
Eren frowns at him again. To say that Eren frowns a lot would probably be an understatement. Levi once thought that Eren looking confused was cute but now... He knows that that's just how Eren looks most of the time. And it's still cute. "The fuck is that?" he asks gruffly, running his hands through his brown hair. Stop tempting Levi, Erennnn.
"Parkour is like running around on buildings. A grapnel is like, I don't know, a hook? Yeah, it's a hook of sorts that you just-" Levi motions with his hands in an upwards gesture. "And, yeah."
"So elaborate. I liked your use of gesture there. Really helped me to understand."
Levi snorts, pleasantly surprised by Eren's dry humour. "Thanks. Normally Hanji's round to help translate me, but he ain't here so you're stuck with me and my shitty explanations."
"Levi, I understand that you have OCD and, like, I used the hand wash you gave me so you wouldn't freak out around me, but can you really afford all of this?"
Eren carries a basket of things he think Levi would need, and Levi has a basket of things he actually needs. Eren clearly requires a lesson in the way that Levi works. He walks towards Eren in the Bacon and Sausage aisle, scowling at the red meat because fuck, how do people even eat that shit?
It looks like a lump of lard covered in blood and plastic packaging, kind of tastes like plastic too. Levi may have been traumatised by the video showing what happens in slaughter houses. He's never quite been the same since, and neither has his diet. He's fine with this. Eren however...
So it started like this: after some more walking and talking about random shit that Levi likes to call "bonding" and Eren likes to call "rambling about absolutely nothing with a weirdo" (that's what Levi presumes he's thinking, anyway) they finally made it to Tesco, that bad-ass supermarket that half of the country goes to, while the rest go to Asda, and Levi tells Eren "I've got a To Buy list in my head, so do you think you can pick up things you'll think I'll need? I have an idea, but it's always good to compare." And Eren failed in his mission.
The green eyed man's trainers squeak on the speckled linoleum. "How are you going to live for the week? On a Mr Muscle and Twinnings diet? I get that you're two years older than me, but a man's gotta eat, no matter what kind of man he is, no matter what age, or even if he's a she-"
"I don't like bacon and that's pretty much all that's in your basket. Can we get out of this aisle?"
Eren glances around, noticing the Goosebumps on his arms. "Oh yeah, right I'm freezing. You go... Buy your shit and I'll put this back."
"But you might need to buy some of this too. I can walk away from you today knowing that your house isn't clean. And I don't have OCD, I have ATC." Levi turns and saunters down the middle of the aisle and people have to move out of his way.
You can hear Eren before you see him: his voice follows his squeaky footsteps then suddenly he's by Levi's side. "What, is ATC a disease? Does it mean that you're allergic to dust or something and you have to clean everything so you don't die?"
It's one of those rare occasions where Levi has to stop beside the shelf of bananas, and look round to give Eren an odd look. It's quite satisfying, really. No wonder Eren does it so often.
"No. Just, just no. I like cleaning, kid, alright? Although, can I grab a few more of those pot noodles you've got there..?" He ducks down, close to tackling Eren as the taller man lifts the basket of food out of his reach, protesting like a child in the middle of the fruit aisle as Levi tries to grab the unhealthy food.
Eventually, they make it back to Swansea with a couple of shopping bags, and Eren's shooed out of the building due to "confidentiality issues" when Levi is faced with having to sign all the papers and look over forms. It's weird, having to go through all of this like some "coming of age" movie, where he's six years too old to be the protagonist.
It feels like the movie is ending too soon. When Eren smiles in defeat and makes his way out the building, it strikes a chord in Levi that he can't quieten.
"Hey, Eren!" He calls out as the green eyed man toddles up the stairs to the car park, heading home.
The lowering sun makes Eren's expression harder to see, but even from here he can see Eren's sweet, toothy smile. It might be thanks to the motion sensitive light that's shining onto the path at the front door. The staff of the building needs it to be able to tell who's going into the flats.
"…Thanks for helping me. I guess I'll be out of your way now." Levi lets one of the corners of his mouth to turn upwards and rubs the scratchy material of his clothes.
Eren's sudden burst of laughter echoes out into the deathly silent street.
"Oh no, you can't get rid of me that easy. I'll see you soon, bye~"
Hmmm. Sequels are always promising. To be continued, the screen would say.
Later, when Levi's busy in the bathroom, still trying to get the rot out of the pipes, Bertholdt peers from around the corner and blinks at him warily.
"…Are you alright? You're not stressing yourself out, are you? I mean, I can help if you want."
Levi deadpans a glare at him. "Did you know that the windowsill in the kitchen is actually white, and not grey?" He huffs a bitter laugh to himself. "No, no, it's fine. This is just… something I need to do. Is, uh, is that guy okay?" he's forgotten the bleeding guy's name, figures.
Not only can Levi relate to Bertholdt in height; he's not that bad to talk to either. Even if the conversation is forced. Extremely so. Then again, it's like that with most people (especially the elderly staff, dear god, old women just never know when to shut the fuck up). Fortunately, Bertholdt seems to be blessed with the knowledge of social cues and leaves Levi to his own devices soon enough.
One thing he likes about his new room is that it has a lock. Now that it's clean and his belongings are where they need to be, all he has to do is move the bundles of paper on the white sheets and close the curtains. He was supposed to do this sort of thing years ago, he knows. Levi wasn't like most others; he never had to opportunity to leave his hometown to go a college or even leave Kenny's house, seeing as he was never taught how to, and the school was utterly useless.
Surprisingly enough, on their way home Eren told him about how he'd first started out at Swansea; telling Levi that he knew how daunting it was, and that he's worried for Levi. Levi's older than Eren had been when he went into supported accommodation, so it's likely that he'll get less help than what he got when he went there.
Ah man, if Levi wasn't afraid of Eren freaking out with his behaviour; he'd hug him.
His calendar has found a place under his pillow (he had to pinch the pen from the coffee table though) and he can go to bed thinking of what the hell he'll do tomorrow.
"Love isn't a weakness, it just makes us see that we weren't as strong as we first thought; and it doesn't punish us for it."