Chapter 1:

Sam's P.O.V.

The school bell rang. Finally. I quickly grabbed my books and exited the classroom. I didn't dare look back for I knew if I did I would see Carly and Freddie possibly holding hands or kissing. That was the last thing I wanted to see. I finally got to my locker and quickly gathered my belongings and headed home. I heard Gibby behind me yelling for me to wait up but I just kept walking when he grabbed my shoulder.

"SAM!"

"WHAT?!" I yelled through clenched teeth

"Sorry," he said, "are you okay?"

I sighed, "No..." I said as I sat down and pulled my knees up to my face and cried silently.

"Aw, Sam, come on I know it hurts but you have to think past that."

"Not helping, Gib." I told him looking up at him

He sighed and sat next to me, "Sorry."

Then he put his arm around me in comfort.

"I promise it will be okay Sam."

"You don't know that."

"I know, but I'm sure it will be okay, in the end at least."

"I wish I had a girl friend that I could ask advice with but all the girls at school are afraid of me," I said only making myself more upset at that fact.

"Well," he said slowly as a smile grew upon his face.

"Gibby, you are not dressing as a girl." I stated

"No, no, your mother told me your sister Melanie is coming over."

I usually despised this twin of mine, but I actually was excited for her to come over. I could talk to her and get advice I had to make sure she didn't blow up, though. You see, she was the only good one of our huge family, the only one who'd never been arrested, done, thought something illegal, or even smoked or done drugs, but if someone messes with her family she will, no joke, attempt to kill them, even though she never had. She's never been exactly a fan of Carly even though she may have acted like she was friends with her. She secretly hated her, which I though was stupid, but not so much anymore. I wasn't even sure-

"Sam?" Gibby was asking over and over while waving his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry," I said as I drifted away from my thoughts. I just stared at Gibby and he stared back probably wondering what my thoughts were when my phone rang. I quickly looked down and answered it.

"Hello." It was my mother. She asked me to come home. I turned back to Gibby.

"I got to go, Gib."

"Alright," he replied as he got up standing next to me "I'll see you tomorrow Sam."

"Bye," I whispered as he walked away.

When I got home I hugged my mom and went into my room. I looked over at my bed and saw a familiar girl sitting at my bed.

"Mel!" I yelled as I ran up to her and hugged her.

"I missed you too, Sam." She said with her girly giggle.

"So," she asked smiling at me, "what's been going on in your life?" She kept smiling until I told her what truly had been going on. Her mouth opened wide in shock.

"What a bitch!"

I laughed, "Mel, I don't think I ever heard you swear before."

"That's because I never swear."

"You just did."

"Yeah well that's because Carly turned into a bitch."

It sounded so, so surreal to hear her swear. Holy crap, I loved it.

"So what about the show, iCarly?"

"I quit." I stated in a whisper.

"Oh Sam! Was it that hard?"

"Honestly, yes I am in love with Freddie I have been since we kissed and each day it just grew deeper and deeper and now its just so painful its unbearable, Mel what am I going to do? I have scary thoughts."

"Like what thoughts?"

"Like suicide and cutting, Mel. I don't want to be like that. It's so scary! I don't want to be that person who kills themselves or cuts themselves. It's just so scary! I don't know what I'm going to do!" At that point I was crying uncontrollably and Mel was hugging me tightly in comfort.

"It's going to be okay, Sam," she said slowly. "I promise." I ended up falling asleep. When I woke Mel was not there. I walked into the guest room where I found her sleeping. I smiled at the view and turned and walked into the kitchen smelling bacon, mom was cooking, I faked a smile to make it seem like I was feeling better even though it wasn't worth it anymore because everyone knew it was fake because the smile never reached my eyes.

I sat at the table and my mom set a plate filled with bacon on it and she kissed the top of my head. She then sat on the side of me and began doing the monthly bills.

"You're father called." She said smiling.

"Oh what'd he say?" My father was in the army I rarely saw him.

"He said he is coming home."

"A visit." I said frowning because it's not for good.

"No," I looked at her confused, "for good, Sam." I smiled widely. My father was coming home, for good this time.