There are a lot of things in life that nobody ever tells you, because they can't. They can't physically teach you how to make someone happy; you have to learn to do that yourself after having learnt what the other person likes and about their attitude. They can't really prepare you for the shit things in life; you kind of have to take them as they come, because every bad situation you'll end up in will be unique, something that nobody ever thought to look out for and therefore can't teach you to be prepared for it.
In this case; the thing Levi's struggling to teach himself is how to spend twenty minutes waiting for his shift to end, while trying to entertain the love of his life over the counter. Ideas don't seem to be in Levi's favour. They could talk, sure, but what about? And how the hell is he supposed to talk to him if there's ever a customer waiting to be served? Poundsaver is one of those ridiculously popular little shops, even more so than Poundland down the street. Thankfully, no-one's come to the counter yet.
Tugging at the hem of his Ranger's football top, Eren's mouth curls down when he sees the bag full of his chocolate. He's so... expressive with his face, unlike Levi. And it's fascinating to watch what he does with his mouth, his thick eyebrows and the way he sighs at things he doesn't like.
"Well this isn't gonna be much use, is it?" he frowns up at Levi with his lips in a tight line. Levi tilts his head and blinks. "Pizza should fill me up, right? Kinda pointless to eat fucking sweets if I'm getting supper later." Supper. His vocabulary is so ridiculously Scottish, as though by being a Yes Voter, he's trying to prove a point in showing how patriotic he is. "And I'm gonna have to carry this shit around with me until I get back home." he mumbles.
And fuck, the way he speaks. Levi's kind of having to translate for you readers, because really, Eren's accent is beyond thick; it's practically its own language, especially with all the slang he uses, his awful grammar and how he utterly destroys the English language as he cuts up words everywhere to the stage where it's pointless, and a little difficult to understand.
Whatever he says, how he says it and when; it always reflects Eren's emotions, allowing Levi to be able to pinpoint when he's angry or confused (which seems to be his main two attitudes). Eren speaks in Eren-ish; Levi is slowly learning it.
"You can leave it behind the counter if you want, pal. I don't actually get off work until three, and I normally eat "supper" at about five o'clock." he tells him. Not that he actually eats dinner, but he'll at least drink some tea. Then again, his appetites' increased ever since he started walking to work and getting some decent sleep. Damn that doctor...
Erwin will probably eat most of the pizza anyway, like an overly proud dad. He's likely to take pictures of it too and label it "Levi's First Pizza". Erwin's only two years older than him, tch. Idiot.
"...I, uh," Eren looks away from Levi, casting green eyes to the till in front of him. He did that before as well, looking away when he was bothered... "I'd rather not go home? You know, to wait, or anything?"
Shit. He'd forgotten about that. Well done Levi, you're really showing how much you care. "Ah. Right. We could... have a late lunch, early dinner, or something like that. I'm sure Erwin won't mind us coming over a little early. Plus, I've got to go pick it up from my place. Or no, I made a few of them, just to make sure I could actually make one and didn't raise everyone's hopes for nothing. That, and Erwin eats too much."
Leaning onto the counter, Eren gives him a small smile and looks at him again. That's a good sign. Levi should try to make him smile as much as he can tonight, considering he usually brings up bad subjects with Eren. "Oh yeah, I'll get to see Swansea again! How're they treating you?" His curiosity sounds genuine, as though he's actually interested in hearing about Levi. "Is your room-mate nice? People giving you shit or anything?" he pauses, shaking his head. "No, you're too scary to let people pick on you. But yeah, tell me."
"Let's see... My key worker is this guy called Mitabi; when he's not crying, he's flirting with the other workers. It's... God, it's so sad to watch." A grimace is brought to his face at the thought. "He has no idea what he's doing and sounds like a right dick all the time. He thinks I'm depressed, which is kinda rich coming from him, but on my report I've made sure he's written down that I'm fine. As for Bertholdt..." His eyebrows quirk as he remembers something. "A little Bert told me he saw you coming out from the high school the other day, is that where you work?"
"Ah yeah, I do. Hopefully there'll be a day where I can castrate every teenager alive and make a bloody mess in that damn school. Not literally. But I can dream." Eren's eyes widen as he thinks for a second and he covers his gaping mouth. "You can't joke about Bertholdt's height! Oh my god, that's-"
Levi frowns.
"I made a joke?"
A few moments pass where Levi searches for an answer in Eren's bemused expression. What did he say? Levi can't think of what he said that might be considered a joke... His humour consists of shit and deadpan phrases. And sometimes there's The Wealdstone Raider inside jokes that he and Erwin have. (Go look it up. Educate yourself, you poor, uncultured child) Along with ideas for conversation topics, an answer to what he joked about can't be found. Instead, all he finds is his embarrassment growing and his throat drying up the longer he stares at Eren's gorgeous face. Eren looks away.
"A little Bert. You said a little Bert told you he saw me. That's height-ist, Levi."
Levi raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest as warmth grows there at the sound of his own name. "I'm not. And that never stopped you from making jokes about my height." he huffs, denying the claim made against him.
"That's different! He's actually a dwarf whereas you just act like one! Like, like Grumpy from Snow White."
He's about to point a finger at Eren, hand on hip, when someone calls his name from the back room. He narrows his eyes. "This isn't over."
Eren stands upright, smiling toothily. His eyes crinkle at the sides yet they're still wide as ever. "I should be telling you that." Levi's face softens all on its own, and he shakes his head mirthfully, trying and failing to hold back his own smile when he turns away to clock out.
But. It isn't time to clock out. It's only been two minutes...
Socialising is fucking long but not long enough when you need it to be and difficult. It's got too many fucking rules and everyone should just shut up anyway. Life would be so much easier. And less tormenting.
"Levi...?" his attention turns to his co-worker as he reaches to garage-like staff room, causing Goosebumps to form on his arms. Moblit gestures to a branded box with a finger. "Could you, um, stock up the gum at the desk? There's no customers, is there?"
There's a way out of this predicament of his. There is. He just has to improvise.
"…I-I can't." He can't fucking make small talk anymore. True, but probably not a reason as to why he can't cope with customers.
Moblit nods. "Okay- wait, what?" His meek voice rises as he gazes at Levi.
Levi frantically fishes out his phone, flipping it open and closed again and again. "Could you cover for me?" he creases his brows, a film playing in his mind as he reads a made-up script. "I've got a family emergency, please. They're asking me to go to the hospital and I'm the only one with the shots he needs, and I'll have to walk or get a taxi but I need to get money out the bank-"
"Yeah!" Moblit's non-existent eyebrows shoot up at the sound of Levi's panic. "G-go, I'll tell the boss you were sick, d-don't worry!" Levi throws his work t-shirt in Moblit's direction and a hurried thanks over his shoulder, dashing out to the counter, jumping over it like he's done a million times and Eren leaps away from him mid-jump.
"L-Levi! What-"
Levi pushes him from behind, stuttering a breath when his palms meet Eren's back. It's so worth missing work for. "No time! Family emergency. Let's go!" he calls loud enough for Moblit to hear and makes his way out the shop.
A face like Levi's is useful in these kinds of situations… Seeing as everyone thinks he's robotically unemotional, freaking out is a sure way to earn their sympathy. Not to mention, he hardly acts up as it is so he'd get away with it anyway. Oh, his devious teenage days are coming back to him it seems.
"I-is everything okay?!" Eren cries out, stumbling in front of Levi, plastic bag of food jostling in his hand.
Once they're around the corner, back in the high street with its cobbled pavements, sand-stone buildings and a looming church a few hundred yards away, Levi glances in the direction they came from and releases Eren, already missing the contact.
Job done. To some extent. "That should do it."
Eren spins round, performing that weird ability he has to keep his eyes wide open even while he's frowning. "What the hell?!"
"There was only fifteen minutes left of my shift, but I skipped work. Told the guy I had to go to the hospital and he covered for me." he sighs. "I should be an actor." He nods to himself as they start walking to his home. "Life goal; become the black haired version of Leonardo DiCaprio."
Walking with him on the pavement as they make their way past Poundland and a snobbish looking cafe, Eren stares into space. Its apparent that he's lost his train of thought again, thanks to Levi's rambling.
"Oh no, I reckon you'd be more of an Eiljah Wood kind of guy. Yeah, you do look a bit like him..."
Of all the comparisons Eren could have made...
"Ew. My teeth aren't that crooked. And his hair-"
Eren moves so he's in Levi's way. "THAT'S THE BEST PART OF HIM."
Levi walks around him and Eren has to catch up. "What's my best part?" Levi asks, watching as Eren's "frown of passion" simmers down.
Eren purses his lips as though he's actually contemplating how Levi looks, evaluating and deciding which part of him looks best, if Levi's right in guessing what he's doing.
His eyes widen a fair bit when he actually realizes Eren's checking him out, an intense green boring several holes into him, eyes raking Levi up and down as he feels the heat crawling at his neck, his heart hammering in his chest as he stares back.
"Your ears."
God , Eren, you're such a letdown. Then again, it seems like something Eren would say. Whatever that means.
"You've got these tiny little ears," Eren tilts his head as he beams, gazing at the side of Levi's head. "And yeah, I could just dunk you in my coffee. Not that I drink coffee, but metaphors."
"Metaphors."
"Aye." Eren's deep voice echoes as they walk through a short, dim subway that has abstract art on its tiled walls.
"Okay."
"I'm so glad we agree on this. Really, I am. And pray tell, what's my best part, since we're sharing this info?"
It doesn't take any thought whatsoever. Two can play at this game. "Eyebrows. Although, you're competing against Erwin..." He hisses inwardly with an uncertain shake of his head. "Not sure you'll win."
Eren huffs at him, pouting as he pretends to be upset and staggers up the stairs leading out the subway, onto the cluttered Aldi car-park. "I thought we were having a moment. I was sharing my innermost opinion of you, and you had to ruin it."
A smile tugs at Levi's lips. "I think you should just accept that you have some eyebrow game." Eren considers this for a moment, clenching his fist in dramatic victory, uncaring of the Aldi customers they pass by.
Yeah. Levi's pretty good at changing the subject, he's come to learn. Levi tends to ramble without realizing it anyway, though. And he's good at acting. His acting is good enough to fool Moblit, though maybe that's not such a difficult task to do. He's pretty gullible, that guy. One of the most passive people Levi knows. At first he thought Bertholdt would be a passive person, but like Levi, he has to be a little fierce, otherwise people would pick on him for his height. Not that Levi did. Or that he would. It'd be ironic.
They walk in -hopefully comfortable- silence towards the grey railed bridge they crossed the other day to get to Tesco, with the river Levi's grown accustomed to seeing. He's accustomed to silence as well, just not when he's around other people... Especially not Eren...
Questions... Questions are good, right?
Levi bites his lip, glancing at Eren as he walks beside him with slouched shoulders. Well, his posture definitely hasn't changed that much since he first met him. "How long... have you lived in Trost for?"
"Ever since I was sixteen so... God, that's six years? I feel so old. And I guess since I've been here for so long, I can't really say I'm from Buckie?" Eren frowns, shrugging to himself. "Although Trost doesn't really feel like a home-town kind of place."
"What's it like at Buckie?" Levi high-fives himself in his mind. Flow conversation, flow! "I've only ever stayed in Glasgow, never travelled to the Highlands."
Gazing out onto the stream beneath them as they walk over the bridge, Eren rubs at a bruise on his bicep, with his plastic bag rustling in the wind. "I remember that at night, the beach is so dark you can chuck a body in the sea and nobody would ever notice."
He gets this soft, distant look in his face as he continues and Levi watches the change in love-struck awe. "Me, Mikasa and Armin would go watch the seals sun bathing in the summer, and we were all friends with this fisherman who'd give us rides on his boat. It's not much of a fisherman town, but you do get a few people who do that sorta thing." He finishes.
Levi sighs because damn, that just sounds like the picture perfect life, despite the fact Eren mentioned being in foster care with Mikasa when he met her. "Glasgow's miles from the sea, so I've only ever been during the summer."
"Yeah, that's the only good time to go." Eren chuckles –which is a boyish, awesome sound- and looks at Levi. It's probably just to be polite, but the colour of his eyes is just... It's too intense to not be intimate and a little intimidating with how much it makes Levi freeze up and melt at the same time. "When winter came it was fucking freezing and there wasn't any snow to make up for the shitty weather. Sea melts snow or something like that."
A few minutes later they finally make it to Swansea, and Eren almost seems disappointed by how quiet it is.
"How many times have the polis been around since you came?"
Levi fiddles with the lock on the door; a weird combination of having to twist the latch and turn the key at the same time, which is totally ridiculous because it means you have to use both hands to unlock the bloody thing. "...What's the polis?"
"Eh, the police?"
"About four times. Three times for drugs, another time to calm down a guy on the third floor when his fiancé broke up with him, which to be honest, was kind of a given considering they were nineteen, like. And they'd only been going out for three months? People these days..." Levi goes inside to the kitchen –beautifully clean kitchen, that is- and heads straight for the fridge.
"This fridge surprised me... as well as the furnishings in the living room. Apparently Swansea gets a lot of free stuff. It's a government building, so it's not too surprising that they get free stuff, but the things they get are actually... of a decent quality?"
"Oh yeah, the people are good to you because of your circumstances unlike a lot of places, like The Royal. That's where Armin stayed. I remember when I lived here I got offered a flat screen TV once... though they never gave me it. Man," Eren glances in the direction of the Staff Flat across the hall before coming inside.
"The staff used to be way cooler than the people you've got now. Most of them were middle-aged old ladies like they are now, but some of them were a laugh."
Just as Levi's packed the pizzas into dinnerware boxes and handing one to Eren, Bertholdt appears from his bedroom and peeks into the kitchen. "Oh, I thought I heard voices, hey guys!" He walks up to them with a shy grin as he greets the two men.
"Hey, we never got introduced properly before. I'm Eren." He's so good at being social! It really hits the nail o the head for Levi, with the way Eren reminds him of just how awkward he is.
Before Levi can have a war-flashback to his first day at Swansea, Bertholdt flashes Levi a downright evil grin before looking back at Eren and shaking his offered hand. "Oh, I know your name. Levi mentioned you... in passing..."
Say another word, Levi challenges Bert with his glare. Just fucking try it, why don't you.
"Is that guy from the other day okay?" Of course Eren's concerned about that idiot, such a darling man...
"Oh, yeah he's fine. Keith... he, uh, got five stitches and cried like a baby in the emergency room, but he's cool. So... Are you guys the delivery boys? Should I leave a tip? I mean, if you want, Eren, I could give you Levi..."
It probably doesn't help that Bertholdt managed to sneak in some beer, strong stuff that somehow made Levi a little tipsy and he started talking, and talking and talking about Eren and how kind he is and how he puts up with Levi and his rambles and how angry he looks with his near constant and adorable scowls- Levi pushes his boxes into Eren's back, glowering down at Bertholdt (that feels good) and ushers him out the building.
The alarm on the door buzzes for a while as they make their way outside. "...Did you not want me to meet him or something?" Eren's eyebrows crease. "A little Bert told me that you already talked about me to him, so why...?"
Of course it would seem like that. Argh. Just, just ahhh, no. You've got the wrong idea-
"I don't want you to be a victim of his evilness. He packs in quite a lot of Satan into that body of his." Balancing the pizza boxes in one hand, he checks his phone for the time. "Um, do you want to get a taxi? We've got time to spare, but it's about forty minutes to Erwin's..."
"Doshite?!" Eren cries out, waving a hand in the air in despair. "Yeah, okay. We can split the fare."
Levi blinks and stands still as he tries to process what Eren just said. "...The hell was that?"
Flushing in embarrassment, Eren looks down and wrinkles his nose. "Sorry. I do that thing where I blurt out random stuff in foreign languages. Mikasa's fault, really. She taught me Japanese." That's adorable, t-that pinkness on his cheeks, oh wow.
"I know a bit of Hindu." He replies in an attempt to relate to Eren, pulling out his phone to call for the taxi. "There were these Indians at the corner shop near my old house that taught me a bit so I could piss off the other corner shop for them. Works like a treat."
"Really?! Oh, hey, I dare you to start speaking in Hindu to the taxi driver when we get into the car. That'd really freak him out."
Levi feels himself flush at the sight of Eren's excitement, seeing that one end of his smile stretches further than the other. "Challenge accepted."
When the taxi arrives, they've already discussed their plan.
"Meri lundh choos." Levi greets the taxi driver with a nod, hopping into the back seat with Eren. 'Suck my dick.'
The balding taxi driver takes in Levi's white-person appearance and clothing consisting of jeans and a batman t-shirt. "...What did you say?"
"Sorry," Eren interrupts and slips into a terrible foreign accent. "He doesn't speak English, but he said 'Good day.'" The driver purses his lips and starts the car up.
They've only got ten minutes, so they have to work fast. Eren keeps looking at him from the corner of his eye, tongue grinding into his teeth so that Levi can see his canines, not perfectly straight, but perfect all the same. He fidgets in his seat, nudging Levi over the pizza boxes with an elbow. Let's get started then, shall we?
"Teri maa ki bimaar badboodar." 'Your mother has a diseased, smelly cunt.'
"Eh?" The driver stares at him, eyes becoming little slits in his confusion. He's got sweaty armpits, yuck, thank fuck Levi's sitting in the back.
"He says he likes your car." Eren "translates".
"Oh, well thank you very much." That just makes this all the better.
"Tere adha Nirodh mein rah gaya." 'The rest of you was left in the condom.'
"What's that?" The driver peers in the rear view mirror to see Eren struggling to contain his giggles.
"H-he says he wants your car."
"Tere maa ko sau kutte chode -sau wa tera baap!" 'Your mother got fucked by a hundred dogs -the 100th being your dad!'
"GIVE HIM YOUR CAR."
They reach the finale right as they're on Erwin's street.
"OH MY GOD LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" The driver sobs. "I'LL CALL THE POLICE!"
"TERI JHANTEN KAAT KAR-"
"SHUT UP."
"-TERE MOOH PAR LAGA KAR UNKI FRENCH BEARD BANA DOONGA!" 'I will cut your pubic hair and stick them on your face and make a goatee on your face!'
"OH MY GOD, STOP IT!"
"He says that maybe you should leave your wife because you didn't buy her a ring-"
"I KNOW I KNOW JUST STOP IT!"
The car halts. They're outside Erwin's house. Levi leans forward, close by his ear. The driver thinks, no he knows the crazy white Indian's going to tell him something dreadful that Eren will have to translate and break his heart and jinx him for life-
"No hard feelings, like?" Levi's back to his usual Glasweign accent, fully speaking English. "Thanks for the lift pal."
The driver simply points out the window with a meaty finger, struggling to meet their eyes as he whimpers. "Jus-just g-get oot." They broke him.
Eren and Levi tumble out the car with their boxes, leaving the door open a little so Eren can tease the poor man even more. "You should really buy that ring-"
The driver leaves the kerb without even closing the door. Or charging them. "Score!" Eren grins, fidgeting on the spot with excitement. He pats Levi on the shoulder, who's trying not to smirk and jump at the sudden contact. "We should definitely do that again."
Levi's laugh finally bubbles up as he grins at the path, then back up at Eren. "All the taxi's are connected, you know! I'm pretty sure we'll be famous with the taxi people after all that."
"WORTH IT."
"YES."
Eren heads towards Erwin's flat with a stride in his step. "Hey Levi."
"Aye?"
He turns round to face Levi and stares right at him. "You're way less shy than you were before." Wait, what? "Did you get nervous around me or something?"
No, Eren, Levi just can't control his goddamn feelings around you and fucks up every second because he's too awkward for his own good and thinks about fucking you at inappropriate time and also thinks about making you breakfast and kissing your eyelids and if that's not enough to overwhelm a person and make them spout a load of shit then the reason he acts so weird around you is-
"I'm really bad at small talk."
Ah yeah, there's that.
Eren gives Levi an odd look, 'the odd look to give Levi when he's speaking shit', as he's come to call it.
"Yeah, I kinda figured that." Eren's honest, so brutally, ruthlessly honest.
But he does have a point.
"Swansea's done me a lot of good, so thanks for helping me get there. Seriously, I'm actually sleeping and eating now."
Levi buzzes for Erwin, who lets them in without question. "And well, it could be worse. At least there's no tables for me to trip up on, and I made you laugh rather than made you go on a morose adventure in your mind." Those minutes spent in Greggs were dark, ebony times...
"Yes," Eren brushes his clothed shoulder along Levi's, effectively jamming up his throat. "Yes, you did. Thank you."
Erwin opens the door to let them in and thank god he did, otherwise Eren would've seen Levi going bright red. Noticeably. It makes him look like an idiot, but this, whatever this is when he looks at Eren's content smile, is the best he's felt in a long while. And it doesn't seem to go away, even when Eren disappears into another room.