Chapter 10
Octavia was now digging her fingers into Clarke's shoulders as she shook her outside the coffee shop. "Come on, we've come this far. You can do this. Look, Anya and Lexa are coming up the road now, it's gonna be fine."
Clarke remained completely paralyzed in her friends arms. "Hey An!" Raven grinned and threw her arm around the girls shoulder, sighing when she saw they were staring at the blonde with a very concerned look in their eyes. "She's panicking slightly. It was all good up until we got here, then she saw Abby (her mom) inside... She kind of hasn't moved, spoken or acknowledged anyone's existence since." Raven waved a hand in front of the vacant eyes of the girl. "See... Nothing."
Gulping loudly, then moving forward to wave her hand in the girls line of vision; Lexa tried to bring Clarke to. She was already fearing meeting Abigail Griffin; having Clarke in an absent minded state was just making that fear grow, and Lexa did not take well to fear or anxiety, it was normally something she didn't tend to feel and if she did, she would simply remove herself from the situation. This however was different; this she was doing for Clarke. "Hey Clarke?" The girls face remained pale and hard as stone. Lexa moved closer pulling her to the side- out of the vision of those in the coffee shop- so that she could rest a hand beneath the hem of her t-shirt and rub calming circles at the base of her back. "Clarke? It's going to be fine. We're all here for you." Clarke nodded now but her eyes were still vacant. Lexa moved closer; lowering her voice and resting her mouth by the girls ear so that none of the other girls would here what she was about to say. "After coffee you could come back to my apartment if you wish; I've set up candles in the bedroom and I'll have you know I'm quite the masseus. And yes, this is definitely a ploy to see you topless." Lexa's voice was low and sultry as she continued; her hand now lowering to playfully grab at the girls ass. "And if you're topless, I suppose I would be to... It is only fair after all." Lexa grinned at the sharp intake of breath she heard coming from the girl.
"Oh my God did you just talk dirty to her?!" Octavia was feigning disgust where as Raven and Anya were simply biting there lips to restrain their laughter at the sight of a now beet red Clarke.
"Shut up!"
"Oh she speaks!" Raven raised her hand to her mouth in mock shock. "If only we had known we just needed to get you turned on to calm you down, we would of asked Lexa to get here a few minutes earlier." She turned to wink at the very smug looking brunette.
"Hey, I don't need a few minutes to turn-"
Clarke whirled and narrowed her gaze at Lexa; stopping her from proceeding with that sentence. She moved closer, then in a husky whisper, replied. "I'll deal with you later in your bedroom." This knocked the air out of Lexa's lungs, leaving her mouth wide and pupils blown as she watched the blonde walk towards the TonDC coffee shop door.
"You okay there chief?" Anya wrapped her free arm around Lexa's shoulder; her other hand intertwined with Raven's.
"Yeah, all good." Lexa cursed herself silently as her voice broke leaving Anya and Raven chuckling as they walked through the coffee shop door, moving towards a large table at the back left corner of the room where Clarke's mother sat.
"Hey Mom!" Clarke forced a smile as she awkwardly hugged her mother, moving to sit on the couch opposite to her then trying not to show her relief as Lexa slid in next to her followed by Anya. Octavia and Raven sat down next to Abigail.
"Hey girls, nice to meet you two I'm Clarke's mother Abigail, but you can just call me Abby." Abigail held out a hand and firmly shook both of the girls hands as she smiled at them.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Anya and this is Lexa." Lexa smiled weakly as she tried to ignore the extreme waves of nausea taking host in the pit of her stomach.
The waiter came over and took the orders, quickly returning with coffees for everyone except for Octavia who sat with a hot chocolate covered in a mountain of whipped cream and sprinkles which she was hurriedly moving to dunk a donut into. "So its nice to see you're keeping my daughter busy."
Lexa spat her coffee into her mug and choked slightly. This was not going to be fun in the slightest. "Well," Lexa patted her chest slightly as the last choke escaped her. "your daughter is truly lovely."
Clarke moved her hand beneath the table to take the girls in a firm grasp; squeezing it slightly to calm her.
"So what are you girls studying?"
Clarke rolled her eyes at the question whereas Raven and Octavia visibly stiffened and held their breath. Anya swallowed her coffee and waited a few moments before deciding Lexa was probably not going to answer anytime soon and jumped in to save her ass. "I'm premed and Lexa is studying environmental science."
The girls let out the breath they were holding when Abigail nodded; approving. "Very good. It's nice to see Clarke is socializing with people who study science, maybe it will convince her that it is what she needs to be studying instead of wasting time throwing paint around."
Clarke narrowed her eyes slightly and took a large gulp of her coffee. Not here. Not now. Lexa tightened her hold on the girls hand and cleared her throat. "I don't know. Clarke has a lot of talent from what I have seen."
Abigail laughed slightly at this but remained otherwise silent. "So, are any of you girls seeing anyone?"
Clarke was now the one choking on hot coffee as her eyes widened at the question. Shit. Raven met Clarke's eyes and mouthed 'we've got this' at her before leaning across the table to take Anya's hand in her own. Everyone watched in shock but Anya simply smiled at Raven, intertwining her fingers with the girl's before her. "Anya and I are actually dating."
Abigail's mouth hung open for a good minute before she decided to close it, and even then it was simply because her jaw ached; not that the shock has subsided. "I see." She began to play with the rim of her coffee cup. "So I suppose you're still experimenting, with that and all then?"
Raven straightened up in her seat and smiled at Anya who was trying very hard not to laugh when thinking that what Raven had done to her in bed was 'experimenting'. "No Abby, I am still very much bisexual, and shall be for the rest of my life."
The woman nodded as she took in the girl opposite her who was grinning away; seemingly unaware of her discomfort. "Okay, but then if you like both genders why not chose a man? I mean there's plenty of lovely gentleman out there... You really just need to find the right guy."
"Mom!" Clarke slammed a hand onto the table, feeling horrible that her mother had the nerve to bring this up at all let alone in front of the girl her friend was dating.
"What Clarke? I was simply trying to explain that-"
"That what Mom? That because Anya has a vagina she's not good enough for Raven?! I can't believe that even now, at a time where in most states women can marry other women, you still think your prejudice has a place!" Clark was now shaking with rage and Lexa's hand had moved to her back; tracing circles in attempt to calm her.
"Clarke it's fine we can leave." Raven smiled at the girl reassuringly before moving to kiss Anya's forehead. "I am happy Abby, I like Anya very much and I won't let something as silly as the fact she's of the same gender as me keep me away from her. Yes, I could choose to be with a man, but I wouldn't be happy because that man would never compete with this beautiful girl. I can only hope you will in time understand that." Raven stood up.
"Raven wait, don't leave." Clarke pleaded; she wanted Raven to stay- as selfish as it was to ask- she needed her. Taking in a deep breath and looking to Anya for confirmation that it would be okay, Raven sat back down. "Mom, I can't believe that even after all that we went through, you're still saying things to push people away. People aren't here forever Mom, for God's sake I could die tomorrow! But if I decided I liked a girl would you still push me away just because of some prehistoric bigoted view?"
"Clarke, my views are my own and don't be so silly. I know that you like men, this isn't about you, it's about Raven."
"And Anya.." Octavia sputtered, trying to puncture the awkwardness slightly as she downed her hot chocolate.
"What if it is about me Mom?" Everyone's eyes went wide and Clarke suddenly regretted saying this. What if her mother disowned her? Stopped paying for her education. She barely talked to her as it was so that wasn't really something to worry about. Hell, she liked Lexa a lot, it would be worth it; she wasn't a secret Clarke wished to hide.
"What are you talking about Clarke? Is this your way of telling me you wish to experiment also?"
Clarke shook with rage and nerves. She hadn't felt this emotional since her fathers funeral; it was not a feeling she enjoyed. "No Mom, this is my way of telling you that I am seeing a girl!" She looked toward Lexa, waiting for her nod (and nervous gulp) of approval. "Lexa is my girlfriend," She raised their intertwined hands before placing them on the table in full view of Abigail. Suddenly Clarke began to panic more, fuck, she had just called Lexa her girlfriend. Well, there was no turning back now. "and I am so amazingly happy Mom. Lexa makes me so happy. She makes me smile and laugh, and she holds my hair when I'm ill and-"
"And what Clarke? Do you know how your going to explain this to your grandparents? How do you think your father would have felt?" Abigail regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. If the wide eyed, angered stares weren't enough to make her regret the choice, Clarke's face filled with tears as she ran out the door would have been.
"Clarke, wait!" Raven pulled Anya out towards the girl who was walking very fast down the road, leaving Lexa and Octavia with the angered woman. Octavia stood and waited for Lexa to join her. "You know what Abby, I've sat back the last few years since Jake passed, and yes I know it was horrific and you miss him, but Clarke misses him just as much. She still wakes up crying when she has a dream about the accident and I am the one whose there for her because you've just pushed her further and further away. God, It's like Clarke lost two parents that day. She's been trying so happy to please you, to make you happy; even with how you have treated her. She's been chosen to showcase as a leading artist as the showcase and you couldn't even make an attempt to try and move things around to come! And then you tell her that Lexa, who I've seen how your daughter looks at her," Lexa blushed and moved her gaze quickly to the table in front of her. "Clarke loves her for God's sake and you tell her that love is wrong?!" Lexa's jaw hung open slightly; Abigail's almost hit the floor as tears filled her eyes.
"Clarke loves you?" Abigail turned her attention to Lexa who was wriggling awkwardly in her seat.
"Please Abigail!" Octavia sat by Lexa and ran her fingers through her hair. "Just look at the way she watches her. I mean don't get me wrong it makes me sick, they're far too cute together." Octavia smiled slightly when Lexa chuckled at this.
"Do you love my daughter Lexa?"
Octavia immediately felt very panicked. Shit. She didn't want Lexa to feel pressured into answering and to be honest they hadn't known each other for long so she'd probably say-
"Yes, I love Clarke." Lexa answered without consideration. She knew she loved Clarke from the moment she had wiped her tears away in the restaurant toilet. To be honest, she felt as though she had since she held Clarke's hair back for her as she was sick. Lexa wasn't the caring type, or one to show emotion, but with Clarke... Clarke made it easy as if they'd known each other since childhood. She didn't have to question her love for Clarke, because it had been apparent to her for quite some time.
Abigail's breath hitched as it finally dawned on her. She had pushed her daughter- everyone- away from her. She had spent years prodding and prodding at Clarke's insecurities and ignored her when she had so clearly been trying. She had found prejudice in topics that before hand never bothered her, simply because it was another way to push people away. God she had been so cruel. All these years Clarke had simply needed her mother to be there for her and she hadn't even been able to do this, and now she had hurt Clarke more than she thought possible, and she had clearly upset those she loves... the one she loves. "I'm sorry." Abigail clenched her hair in her hands. Why had she wasted the years she needed to be there most for her daughter? "I'm sorry Lexa, I didn't mean what I said. I was so worried your relationship would hurt her, but clearly that's what I've been doing for quite some time."
Octavia moved to Abigail's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "She still loves you you know?"
Abigail chuckled anxiously. "I doubt that, after what I just said to her it wouldn't surprise me if she never spoke to me again."
"No, if you apologize to her and explain why you were just such a raging bitch-" The two girls widened their eyes in shock as the words left Octavia's mouth. Thankfully Abigail simply laughed in agreement. She had been a total raging bitch. "I'm sure Clarke will accept it. She's very forgiving Abby, just like-"
"Just like her father." Abigail laughed, remembering how Jake once tipped a waiter thirty dollars after crap service because the lad explained he had broken up with his girlfriend, and just like that Jake's rage had disappeared. "Perhaps you two could come with me to see her? I believe I still owe you girls a coffee without being a raging bitch."
Any trace of worry Octavia had felt disappeared quickly when a large smile spread across Abigail's face; a sight she hadn't seen since before Jake's passing. "I'm up for that, Lexa?"
Lexa nodded apprehensively. "If Clarke is okay with it then it is fine by me."
Note from author: So I hope you all like this chapter... I'm splitting it into two as I wouldn't have published for a while had I done it as one.
As always you can find me on tumblr under maybeeyoullsaveme if you have any questions.