Chapter 11

Trigger warning: contains description of a car accident. Its not amazingly vivid but always best to warn you all in case anyone wants to avoid you cant read this chapter for that reason message me on here or tumblr (maybeeyoullsaveme) and I'll send you a chapter summary as you need to know what was covered in this for future chapters :)

Abigail breathed in deeply, raising her fist to the door and exhaling as she knocked. "What if she doesn't answer? I mean I wouldn't blame her."

Octavia waited a minute then moved to knock herself. "Clarke let me in dammit. Your mother can wait out here if that's what you so wish but god dammit I have to pee and I have a lesson and I can't go with pee all over my-"

Raven opened the door and motioned for Lexa and Octavia to enter, shutting it slightly when Abigail approached. "I don't mean to be rude Abi, it's one thing to hurt me, but when you hurt the girl I'm dating too that's something I will not overlook. Let alone how you hurt Clarke." She shook her head and looked back into the apartment. Lexa had made her way into Clarke's bedroom and the blonde's sniffling and hushed sobs filled the air.

Cringing at the sound and Raven's words Abigail dropped her head. "I understand this. I came to apologize." Raven's eyes widened and she nodded slightly, not having expected this at all. "What I said earlier was cruel and harsh. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be with Anya, she seems to be a lovely girl, who I owe an apology to also."

Raven moved her gaze to her feet to process the words before opening the door up slightly to let Abigail in. Clarke was in her room and safe should her mother come out with something bitchy once more. "Anya," Abigail nodded to the girl who sat on the sofa braiding Octavia's hair; she paused for a moment, taking in Clarke's mothers presence before returning her focus on her friends hair.

"Abigail." She returned, still not sparing a glance at the woman.

"Look, I need to apologize to all of you, especially Clarke." Abigail spoke louder now, her voice filling the room, and as she had hoped, Clarke's. "Anya, Raven, I am so sorry, so very sorry for what I said earlier. It was ignorant and unprovoked, and to be honest none of it was true. I'm happy to see you girls together, your sexuality is none of my business in the first place, but I did not mean what I said."

"Then why would you comment on it?" Anya finally met Abigail's tearful gaze with her own slightly annoyed look. Abigail's words had brushed off of her immediately but holding Clarke's hair as she threw up in a state of complete shock after what her mother had said had thrown her over the edge. No one should feel able to cause someone such pain and get away with it easily.

Abigail sighed and sat down, earning a harsh look from Anya. This woman does not deserve a seat. "I commented because I was being ignorant." Taking a deep breath she prepared for what she was about to tell them, she did not wish to speak of it aloud- in fact she hadn't since the event- but she owed these girls an explanation after what she had said. "About 6 years ago, I was driving back home from dinner with Clarke's grandparents with Clarke and her father. I was tired, and not paying as much attention as I should have been." Her eyes began to fill with tears but she heard Clarke's sobs silence suddenly. "A truck drifted onto our side of the road as the driver had fallen asleep." Anya's immediate intake of breath was the only noise to fill the air when Abigail finished. "I didn't realize in time, and by the time I swerved it was too late." Her voice cracked now as she spoke; the emotion forming a lump in the back of her throat. "The lorry clipped the back of the car and it rolled." Speaking each word was now emotionless, the numb feeling taking over her body when she thought of the event, as if it were a dream. "Someone in a car behind us stopped and pulled me and Clarke free."

Anya's jaw dropped, a look of realization and horror filling her eyes. "My god." She whispered.

"The boy went back to get Clarke's father, but when he returned to the car and had his arms around Jake to pull him free... The car caught alight. The two of them suffered burns so bad that they were pronounced dead at the scene." Abigail's eyes were completely vacant as she finished, but somehow relief washed over her. Speaking of this was something she had refused to do for so long, but now she felt free, like people would understand and even if they blamed her, she would accept that too. She was done hiding in fear, behind a cruel facade that hurt others.

Anya stood up and ran her fingers through her hair shaking slightly. "Babe, whats up?" Raven stood up and tried to calm the girl.

"Fuck." She whispered, before returning her watery gaze to Abi. "The boy, the boy who got caught in the fire, what was his name?"

Abigail opened and closed her mouth a couple times in confusion before replying. "His name was Nyko. I don't see what that has to do with any-"

Anya buried her face into her palms. "Nyko was my best friend and he was Lexa's brother."

Silence filled the room and the sobs that tainted the still air were no longer Clarke's; they were pained and unfamiliar. "Lexa, Lex, I've got you."

Anya rose and without thinking walked into the other room to find her friend, tears now lining her face. Abigail followed behind; she had to explain, she had to apologize, she never got the chance to apologize. "Abi wait," Raven gripped her wrist before she could enter the room. "they will come out when they're ready."

"But I need to-"

Nodding, Raven pulled her back towards the sofa. "I know, it can wait. They've got to process this themselves first." Raven sat her down on the sofa and moved to pour some coffee, Octavia sitting down on the counter in front of her.

"How? What? Just, how?" She stared vacantly in front of her. They were both aware of the young boy who saved their best friend and her mother; who tried to save Jake. They were aware because they spent years- and still nights now- holding Clarke as she awoke and trembled, screaming at the memory as if it was a battle with which she would never win.

"I don't know." Raven finished poring the coffee and stood, staring at the liquid.

Clarke could hear her mothers voice as she recounted the accident. Her body felt numb, she had never heard her mother talk of the accident. She had been asleep at the time, and awoken as the car flew through the air.

"I didn't realize in time, and by the time I swerved it was too late." It wasn't your fault. It was his fault. The driver had worked 3 shifts straight and ignored his sleep rotor hoping to get back to his family earlier.

"Clarke." Lexa was sat behind her, having pulled the blonde into a tight hug as she rested her chin on her shoulder, her words tickling Clarke's ear as she spoke. "You were in an accident?" Lexa's voice was cold and distant. She was trying to reassure her girlfriend but the thought of her brothers accident plagued her mind.

Clarke simply nodded against her, pulling up her jacket sleeve to reveal a long scar along the length of her arm. "Could have been worse." She mumbled, her words and actions automatic.

"Someone in a car behind us stopped and pulled me and Clarke free."

Clarke swallowed. The boy. Her angel. He had no reason to help, his friends sat in the car but he chose to save them. "He chose to save me. I, I could have died, but he saved me. When I wake up some nights I can still feel his arms around me when I see the wreck. It's the only comfort in my dreams, I feel like he still keeps me safe y'know."

"The boy went back to get Clarke's father, but when he returned to the car and had his arms around Jake to pull him free... The car caught alight. The two of them suffered burns so bad that they were pronounced dead at the scene."

Lexa stiffened. No. It couldn't be. "Nyko." She whispered.

"His name was Nyko."

Clarke froze. She hadn't known the name of the boy who had saved her until this point, her mother had kept her away from the details as much as possible. Lexa's brother saved me. Lexa's brother is my angel. The thoughts hit her hard and tears were streaming down her face but the cries that filled the air were no longer hers. "Lexa, Lex, I've got you." Clarke turned around and took a Lexa into a firm grasp; trying to stop the violent sobs and shudders that escaped her. "I've got you." She rocked the girl in her arms.

"Nyko." She cried into Clarke's shoulder, her tears staining the girls shirt. "He, he died because of that man Clarke."

Clarke ran her fingers through the girls hair. "He died a hero Lexa." The words, though holding little to his death, hit Lexa hard. Her brother was a hero. Without her brother, Abigail and Clarke- the girl she loved- would be gone. Her brother saved the one she loves.

"How did it happen Clarke? How bad was it?" Lexa didn't want to know but the vague police report that she had read countless times over was an emotionless story that bore no image to play through in her mind. It was facts.

"He saved us Lexa. No one else stopped or left their vehicles. He told me it would be okay and that I was safe, that I had to keep my eyes open." Tears ran freely down both girls cheeks. "I told him he was my angel, that he had saved us. My voice was the last one he heard... My dad was unconscious when he tried to free him. People were screaming the whole time for him to just leave the car, to leave him, to leave me. He didn't leave us Lexa, he tried to save my dad. He saved us."

"His death?" Lexa whimpered.

"Fast, the blaze that took the car was so big. They were lost to it. There was no way we could,"

Lexa held tightly onto her girlfriend as she heard her words. "He saved you Clarke. He was always trying to help people." Lexa trembled as the sobs escaped her. "I just don't understand how this, how he, how we... It was in my hometown Clarke, the wreck."

"It was the town where my grandparents lived."

Lexa shook her head. How. Of all of the people on this earth. Of all the people she could have met, have fallen in love with. It was fate. For years she had worried about the screams her brother would have heard, the fear he would have felt when he died. But now she knew he had heard Clarke's voice, that she had told him of what a hero he was. He had known this when he died. He had known her.

Anya entered the room and strode over to the bed, taking Lexa and Clarke into her embrace. "He saved them Lex."

An hour passed when the tears subsided. Anya walked back into the room and was taken into an embrace on the couch by Raven who proceeded to stroke her hair. Lexa and Clarke followed in minutes later; fingers intertwined as they walked to the middle of the room to be met by Abigail. "Clarke-"

"Mom please. I love Lexa, I don't know if she feels the same way" She looked to Lexa and hoped she wouldn't be too shocked by the statement but oddly she caught her sharing a slight smile with Abigail. "but I will be with her for as long as she can put up with me. If you can't accept that, then I can't be a part of your life anymore."

"Clarke, I," Abigail looked between Lexa and Clarke. "I love you for whoever you are... For whoever you love." She smiled slightly at Lexa before taking their intertwined hands into her own. "This, if it makes you happy, makes me happy. I didn't mean a thing I said earlier, hell that I've said over the past years. I'm sorry Clarke. I've been cruel and I've been vacant when you needed me most. I just couldn't accept it. It should have been me to die that night Clarke. I was driving. It shouldn't have been your father or Nyko." She tightened her grasp on the girls hands when she felt them flinch at the mention of the two men. "Nyko saved us though, he was a hero and he was strong and brave. He pulled us free when a moments hesitation would have left us in that blaze. He was strong Lexa. He shouldn't have had to save us though and for that I will never be sorry enough. I should have been more alert, I should have avoided that truck and they should both still be with us."

Lexa wiped her tears away with her free hand and took Abby's free hand in her own. "It was not your fault Abi. It was the man who was driving the truck. He is the one who shouldn't have been in your lane, he should have been on the opposite side of the road. There's no way you could have known he would drift into oncoming traffic, and even if you had of been faster, whose to say you would have made it away in time. It was his fault Abi. It was not yours. Nyko would have known the risk but had you of escaped he would have tried to save the others who would have been hit. God, it could have even been him."

Clarke pulled her mother in for a tight embrace, the first one since her fathers death that hadn't felt awkward and forced. "It wasn't your fault Mom."

Eventually the three women joined the others on the sofa; the whole lot of them cuddling up together underneath a blanket with coffee, except for Octavia who had an extremely large hot chocolate in hand. "Maybe we need some comedy." Clarke flitted through the Netflix comedy section. "Ooh what about Orange Is the New Black?" Anya grinned as Lexa and Clarke shot her a 'no way in hell bitch' look. "Fine. Grace and Frankie? It's hilarious." Clarke nodded before pressing play on the first episode.

They watched in silence apart from laughter until a joke about sex toys was made. Clarke cringed internally and avoided all eye contact with her mother. This was not the kind of thing they talked about or watched with one another. She held her breath as she waited for the awkwardness to leave the room.

"So," Abigail broke the silence. Oh god how Clarke wished she hadn't. What the hell is she gonna say. "wheres that piece of art you had on the table yesterday Octavia?"

Octavia went wide eyed and her jaw dropped as she looked at Abigail in pure fear. She knew what it was. The three girls felt their hearts stop then almost jump out of their mouths as Abigail began to laugh. "Is there something I'm missing?" Anya raised a brow.

"Nu uh. Nope. Nothing." Octavia was now bright red, a color similar to her two friends who were still sat with huge eyes.

Abigail was sat laughing at the end of the sofa, and though totally embarrassed her mother knew about the sex toy and had brought it up in front of company, Clarke couldn't help but burst out into a fit of giggles herself. Never in the past six years had she thought she'd see her mother smile or laugh again, let alone be joking around about sex toys in front of her girlfriend.

"What are we not getting?" Lexa was now sat with Anya, both of their arms crossed across their chest. "Explain..."

Note from author: So I hope I did this chapter justice. I ended on a happy note to try and make up for all the sadness and what not, sorry if anyone's been made upset by this but I needed to put this in to explain why Abigail was her way with Clarke, but also to play off the whole fate thing in future chapters.

Thanks for all the likes and follows/ comments, You have all made my day :)

Also Loving the name ideas for Anya and Raven, keep them coming as I'll throw them in in a chapter soon!

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