It's a nice day outside, so naturally Levi has to spend it indoors, sitting in front of the computer screen in the library. Note the word "spend" and not "waste". It's time well spent too: turns out there's a whole heap of crap for the sad idiots out there that can't socialize. Idiots like Levi. (The joys of being a hypocrite)
God, why hasn't he done this before? He could've trained himself and maybe he would've actually gotten hired back in Glasgow. Then again, the reason he didn't get accepted was probably because of his lack of work experience and his grades, or lack thereof. (what a beautiful catch 22) On top of that, maybe he would've stood a chance with Eren. Well; better late than never. As a horrifically optimistic Hanji would say.
Mastering the Art of Small Talk:
Okay so this site says to avoid "obscure subjects", arguements and emotionally charged subjects. Already, they're doing so well with that aspect, he and Eren. *Sigh* Like many people, Levi does in fact not see the point of small talk, it's utterly pointless and annoying (mental note to look that up later) but oh, what do you know! The site says that that couldn't be further from the truth! Oh but here's something: it's the easy way to get to know someone and create a positive first impression.
It's on the internet! It must be true!
Shit... There's actually some decent stuff on this site. Turns out small talk is more than just unoriginal staements about the weather and random shit. It tells him to talk about general interest subjects like movies (a good one with Eren), music, theatre, sports (ha, maybe not... That could lead to an argument, well spotted Levi), books, food, travel and says that talking about such things makes him more approachable. And help him gain... Self confidence.
Huh, he really could learn more about Eren this way. Plus it'd be a lot nicer than feeling like he's interrogating the poor guy. With the way he's been doing things, he doesn't really know Eren all that well. Like... Sure he likes movies, but what kind? What kind stuff does he do in his spare time? Because... Levi kind of wants to know. Just for the sake of knowing. And maybe Levi can do that stuff with him in said spare time. The site says that if you bring up topics like holidays, then you can add to it yourself if you have something in common with them... Genuis!
Levi keeps reading the webpage, skimming over the do's and don'ts. It turns out, there is in fact a method of knowing what not to say. Bingo! Eye contact should be five to ten seconds long... That's certainly useful. But ew, if people smile at him when he's talking he has to smile back. Is he capable of smiling? Rarely. Once in a blue moon he'll laugh when he sees cleaning supplies on sale. People have advised him not to. Apparently he looks scary when he does. (Good)
He's brought the calendar with him, the progress report, so that he can write in the notes section all the things he'll learn today.
It's his own progress.
Levi's notes are a little all over the place, but what he's gathered from mutiple websites is:
Know what interests and experiences you're willing to talk about
Try and wring them out from other people at the right times
Avoid stuff that generally makes people upset or angry
Open ended, not entirely useful questions are awesome
Listen closely to what they say
If they start talking crap about other folk or shitty things that've happened to them, don't be afraid to change the subject (although this seems to be an exception between close friends that like to complain to each other)
Mutual Interests
Because having something in common with Eren would be like, I don't know, being important to him. He'd have something to talk about with Eren without it being forced and full of pauses.
And that'd be lovely.
Now all he needs to do is make a routine out of talking to Eren. That way it won't seem weird for him to hang out with him. Not that it was before, but... At least they'll have a reason to now, rather it being because Levi was sleeping on someone's couch. And they're a bit out of each other's environment, so really, it's not like they'll become friends just because Levi wants them to be.
For fuck's sake, why does the building of trust take so long? So much hard work? (He'll never tell anyone this, but Levi is actually pretty lazy sometimes and procasinating might as well be his middle name)
Work finished a few hours ago and he's a little bored, so Levi decides to find a book and ends up reading one about non-verbal communication. Once he's comfy in the beige recliner by the window of the sitting area, something begins to niggle at his mind.
If he doesn't apologise to Eren, he most likely won't come across him again. And he sure as hell isn't going to wait around in empty, piss-smelling bars for the occasion to arise again. Well damn. How the fuck does he start this conversation? Maybe he should go back onto the computer and search "how to be friends with someone you kissed but didn't want to be kissed and thinks you're really weird". (He did that. Then decided the search results included the words "stalker" and "creepy" too much for it to apply to him)
The anticipation burns in his stomach as he stares at his flip phone held between a trembling thumb and palm, squeezing his other so that the nails dig into the skin. Aaaaah, okay okay here goes nothing.
Levi:
I'm sorry for the other day and if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't even realize I'd kissed you until half and hour after. It was unintentional.
He sends it before he can scream at himself. (He had to use the word "kissed" god almighty). He stares at it like a puppy begging for food at the table, flips it open and closed, checks the time, uses the calculator to estimate how long it's been since he's sent the message and the percentage of how likely it'll be that Eren won't ever speak to him after that dreaded incident ( 100%) (Levi ran away after, that's just pitiful!).
He jolts when his phone bleeps with a text message, quickly putting on vibrate so no nosey librarians will try and kick him out for being noisy.
Eren:
Ay up man, no nd to b so formal! It's cool tho, it was jus a lil sirprising teh be smooched out the blu by somone i don know well? yea no worries! ^.^ not relly a touchy feely guy y'know
Levi finally slouches into his chair, deflating like a relieved balloon.
Levi:
I will try to get to know you.
I mean in general. Not so I can kiss you again.
wait im not implying that someone who gets to know you is trying to kiss you. because i wasn't.
although it might be true for others. dunno.
Eren:
Ahh good lif lesson there! Hanji and Michael bin teachin you stuffs? oh wait you call him mike doncha
Levi:
They couldn't teach me shit. The internet is more useful. You said there was social lessons online so I checked them out.
Should he have told him that? Um, well it means Levi's showing an interest and listening to what he says... It's not necessarily creepy...
Eren:
Oh right... y'learn anythin interesting?
Levi raises an eyebrow when he realizes Eren's playing along with the rules of small talk: open ended, not necessarily useful questions that keep the conversation going. Good to know...
Levi:
A comfortable speaking distance is two-three feet. Also it appears I've revealed to much of my life to you too soon.
Eren:
Oh no i kno too much D: You gon kill me? plz spare my life what do i tell my kids and wife sob sb
at least make it look like an accident.
also cn ther be fireworks. I want to go oot wit a BANG! :D
Levi:
I won't kill you
Eren:
(YET!) (I see throo yer lies good sir)
Levi goes back to reading when he sees the librarian giving him dirty looks. About half an hour later, his phone buzzes again.
Eren:
hey levi did y usd te be arebel in high/sch
Levi:
What? Why do you ask?
Eren:
Well see im at work. i practically left high/sch to go to highschl. pfft. findin it real hard to think of you owning the halls. ur more of a "too cool for skewl" kinda guy and i swear to god this one kid is out to get me, the day he gets outta here his ass is mine
Levi:
Never missed a day of school. Rebellion against schoolwork just means they're ungrateful little shits. (probably like the one you mentioned)
Eren:
not once? :O
Levi:
Nope
Eren:
Not even sick days?
Levi:
I studied in the nurse's office
Eren:
ermagerd u NERDLIT. even i mssd sm schol (i livd by mysel: no parents tellin me where im at, lol) i was like... average *sobs eternally*
Levi:
I wasn't a nerd. *Hands you a tissue*
Eren:
yh but yore a goody 2 shues w/ your perfect record. *snotts on your tissue wth my pride and brokn dreams*
Levi:
my grades were shit so no not a nerd (teachers never showed up unless it was to bang in the janitor's closet)
Eren:
DONT SAY THAT THATS NOT TRUE
I HAVE TO WORK WTH THESE PEOPLEE?
Levi:
I still have the photo on my phone from that scarring day *war flashback*
Eren:
... I fear for my career and sanity.
NEW KNOCKING POLICY IS NOW INTACT.
aussi is that why u work in a shop? (unlss its ya life choises [dont kill meeeee])
Levi:
No money for college, back in the shitty days. no SAAS for me.
Didn't know how to apply for college, not that I'd've gotten in, so yeah shop assisstant I turned out to be.
living the life. so happy im clapping along to Will Pharrel.
Eren:
WE LL EDUCTE U LEVI DON U WORRY U WANT HIGHERS IL GIV YA SOM
It's too good to pass up on the opportunity. Eren's basically quoting it! He must know of the terrible joke!
Levi:
Have you watched the wealdstone raider video
Eren:
Uh... no? zat a movie?
Levi:
Youtube it. There's a grumpy guy with a football shirt in the picture.
Eren:
...I would say that fits your descripton, but sady I fit the bll too
uuurrrghh got work, see ya man
byeeee bye bye bye
Levi:
Watch out for them janitor closets mind.
Eren:
FUCK YU IM SCARED NOW
I CANT DO IT
i NEED THISJOB GODAMMTI
When he doesn't get a reply, Levi safely assumes he's either a) found the culprit in the closet or b) gone back to work.
HOW MANY MESSAGES LONG WAS THAT?!
THAT WAS THE LONGEST THEY'VE EVER TALKED PROPERLY AND EREN TEXTS LIKE THE CUTEST LITTLE THING WITH ALL HIS EMOJI'S AND TERRIBLE SPELLING AND AHH.
Levi returns to Swansea that night hoping to maybe try out his awesome new skills on his new little(!) friend, but alas: Bertholdt is nowhere to be seen. A notice on the wall next to his door informs him of a resident meeting and the cheerful announcement of free food! In other words: the only reason why anyone will actually attend this meeting. All the trouble makers in one room, eek. That should be interesting.
"I'm Eren's Nerdlit ^.^"