June 2017.

Stefan walked into the kitchen with a worried face, looking around after hearing Caroline's scream. He found her kneeling on the ground, and she seemed to be controlling herself not to cry, or maybe not to have one of her psychotic breakdowns.

"What's wrong?" he asked her. Caroline shook her head, pouting. "Caroline?"

Stefan crouched beside her and tucked the hair that was covering her face behind her ear. She looked sad.

"Hey…" Stefan stroked her cheek with his thumb and Caroline winced. "Caroline, are you going to tell me what is happening or…?"

Caroline pointed at the biscuit beside her on the floor. Stefan looked at it with a frown, not understanding.

"It was the last cookie, and it fell to the ground" Caroline explained. Stefan looked at her blankly, not knowing if she was kidding or not.
"Mm" he managed to mumble.
"What am I going to do now?" she wondered. Stefan could not help but curve his lips into a smile. That was too much. He tried to turn his face slightly so that Caroline would not realize that he was laughing, but he was not so lucky. She glared at him and Stefan pursed his lips.
"Come here…" Stefan tried to hug her, but Caroline gave him a shove on the shoulder and he fell to the ground, laughing.

Caroline glanced at the pot containing the cookie, in the corner of the kitchen counter, as Bonnie talked and talked nonstop. She did not know why she had not thrown it away, it was a simple and stupid cookie. But Stefan was the one who had bought them when she told him that she wanted biscuits for breakfast. And that complicated things.

She looked at the calendar and realized that she had not turned a single page since June 2016, and she had not bought one for 2017. She stared at the edge of the table intently and frowned, realizing how little things had improved.

"I'm leaving" she suddenly said.

Bonnie, who had been talking, shut her mouth and looked at Caroline, confused.

"What?" the brunette asked.
"I'm leaving, Bonnie" Caroline looked into her eyes with some regret. She knew that she had told Bonnie that she would stay, but she could not. She could not keep pretending that Mystic Falls was her home and, most importantly, she could not keep waiting for him to come back.
"You're leaving?" Bonnie asked, laughing. "We're in your house, Caroline."
"No, Bonnie… I'm leaving Mystic Falls" she said, biting her lower lip. "I… I can't stay here anymore, I've tried, really, but…"

Caroline looked down, felling her friend's eyes fixed on her.

"Everything reminds me of him. And I hate it, but I can't stop it. When I wake up, if I've been able to sleep, I turned instinctively to his side of the bed, smiling, and then I open my eyes and realize that he isn't there. When I walk down the street, I turn my head back because I hear him speak. Sometimes I think that if I sit on the porch and have patience, he'll appear at the end of the street to come back, to come back to me."

Bonnie looked at her, not knowing what to say. Caroline laughed dismissively.

"Do you remember when I told you that Elena took something to hallucinate Damon, when you two were gone? This is worse, Bonnie. I don't even need to take anything to hallucinate him, sometimes I hear him, he talks to me, I hear his laugh like an echo that has stayed home. And that…" Caroline led her shaking hand to her mouth. "That's the worst thing, I'm going crazy. And I know that you think so as well. And I'm not even sure that I can deny it, because I think it's true."
"Caroline…"
"No, Bonnie, I don't want more looks of compassion or for you to pity me. I was about to rip off the neck of a girl just because she had one of favorite Stefan's books in her hands. I… I felt jealousy because she had that book and I did not. I should have that book in my hands, I should walk around with it because it reminded him of me!"

Bonnie stared at her, half surprised, half scared. Caroline bit her lower lip and closed her eyes tightly to try to stop the tears, but it was impossible, they started to fall down her cheeks. Bonnie stood up, a little hesitant, and walked toward her to hug her. Caroline let out a soft groan and began to cry as she had not done in a while.

"No way!"
"I'm not going to discuss this with you, Damon."

Caroline folded a shirt and put it in the suitcase, which was open on her bed. Damon looked at it with a grimace from the door.

"Are you crazy? What are you going to do out there by yourself?" he asked.

Caroline took a deep breath with her eyes closed and then let it out, opening them to look at him.

"Keep doing what I've done so far?" she said.
"Exactly! Why don't keep doing that in Mystic Falls?"
"Because… Damon, look, I'm not going to talk about what I feel with you" Caroline closed the suitcase. "I think you don't need me to explain why I can't stay here."

Damon looked around. It did not seem Caroline's room with everything packed in boxes and suitcases.

"And where are you going to stay?" Damon asked, sitting on the bed and dropping his arm over the suitcase so Caroline could not grab it. She crossed her arms and glared at him.
"New York" she said. "There's an office of the newspaper there, and I could use a change."
"In a city with thousands of people knowing that, sometimes, you get psychotic bloodlust attacks?"
"That happened only once, and you don't have to remind me of that all the time, Damon" Caroline grabbed the suitcase, Damon did it too to try to snatch it from her hands, but she finally took it. "What's wrong with you?!"
"Are you going to leave Bonnie alone? Such a great friend" Damon raised his eyebrows.
"Bonnie has Enzo, Matt, and, surprisingly, you" she reminded him. "And I explained to her and she gets it, okay? Stop trying to blackmail me emotionally."
"Well, okay, Matt, are you going to leave him alone, here?"
"Damon, get to the point. Why don't you want me to leave?"

Damon looked at Caroline for a few seconds and then at the pillow. He reached under it and took the picture.

"Well, well, look what we got here…" Damon stood and Caroline looked at him with some fear in her eyes. "You want to forget him so much, but it looks like you're not doing anything to do so, huh?"
"What's your problem?"
"What will happen if you leave and he comes back, huh? What-"

Damon could not finish the sentence, since Caroline had punched him in the face. Damon pursed his lips.

"Don't" she said, breathing hard. "Don't even say his name. Don't…" Caroline shook her head. "Keep the damn photo, I don't want it anymore."

Caroline grabbed the suitcase and turned around to leave the room. Damon looked at the picture. Stefan. He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out his phone quickly.

"Answer the damn phone" he muttered after placing it against his ear.

But Stefan did not answer.

Caroline opened the door carefully and peeked out. She smiled at seeing him sleeping face down, finally with a calm and relaxed appearance, without any concern or problem to solve. She closed the door and tiptoed to his bed.

She removed his shoes and got under the sheets. She lay on top of him and buried her face in his neck, smiling against his skin.

"Mm" Stefan shifted slightly and smiled at feeling Caroline lying on his back, but he did not open his eyes. She pressed her lips against his neck. "Finally" he mumbled. "You're late. Should I start getting jealous of Bonnie?"

Caroline laughed against his neck.

"Stefan, it's only been a girl's night. I told you I'd come early, and it's 7 in the morning, and you say that I'm late?"
"You shouldn't have left yesterday" Stefan turned around carefully so Caroline would not fall. "You should have stayed…" he stroked her chin with his thumb and she smiled, shaking her head. "To celebrate that I have the house back and-"

Caroline pressed her lips against his and Stefan smiled, putting his hands under her shit to stroke her back.

"Happy?"
"No, not yet" he said, amused.

He leaned and kissed her again, standing straight to put his arms around her waist.

"Wait" she pulled him away gently and sighed.
"What?" he asked, watching her lips. "Hey, you're wearing my shirt, the one that you took without asking me, little thief."
"Lily must be mad" she said, ignoring him. "Do you think she'll retaliate? Don't you think we should-"
"I think stop talking is a good idea" Stefan kissed her neck and Caroline laughed.
"Stefan, this is serious…"

Stefan threw his head back and cupped her cheeks with his hands, looking at her with a soft smile.

"Caroline, I don't want to talk about Lily and her crazy family, I want to kiss you. And take off your clothes."

She felt a tingling in her stomach at hearing his words. She grabbed Stefan's face and kissed him intensely. He tangled his fingers in her hair, stroking her curls.

"Is Damon at home?" she asked against his lips.
"Not yet, he's at Ric's" he replied, starting to pull up her shirt.
"Good."

Caroline pulled the shirt out of the bag carefully, as if it could break in her hands. She stared at it for a few seconds and finally buried her face in it, breathing in his scent, his essence. It smelled like Stefan. It smelled like home.

It smelled like everything that she missed.

She looked toward the fireplace of her room with the fire burning and squeezed the shirt with her fingers tightly.

"Do it, Caroline, just do it" she told herself, walking towards the fireplace. "It's just a shirt."

She looked intently at the flames and then closed her eyes, remembering all the moments that they had spent together besides a fire burning. Every secret, every kiss, every laugh.

The heat of the fire also reminded her of him.

She sat on her knees and began to control her breathing as she had been learning in order not to suffer another panic attack. She looked at the wrinkled shirt in her hands and squeezed it against her chest.

"I miss you, I miss you so much…" she whispered, her voice shaking.

September 2017.

"Yes?"

The receptionist opened the door of Caroline's office and peeked out.

"Caroline? Someone has brought you flowers."

Caroline looked up from the laptop and frowned, as if she was speaking another language.

"What?"
"They're in reception. Should I bring them? Your name is on them."

Caroline felt how her heart started to race. She stood up nervously.

"Yes, bring them" she said. "Wait! What… What kind of flowers are they?"
"I don't know, they're wrapped, like a gift."
"Okay, yes… Uh… Bring them."

Caroline came home and dropped the bag on the floor. Then she noticed the smell coming from the kitchen and the bouquet of flowers on the table of the living room, fully wrapped like a gift.

She walked toward it with a wide smile, already knowing what it was. It was not the first time he did it, it would not be the last.

Caroline began to unwrap it until some orchids began to appear. She took the bouquet and placed it in the vase. Suddenly, she felt Stefan's arms around her waist from behind and she closed her eyes, caressing his hands.

"You always remember" she said, feeling his lips on her neck.
"Always."

The receptionist returned with the bouquet and placed it on Caroline's desk.

"Thank you" Caroline said, breathing hard. "Would you mind…?" the receptionist shook her head and headed to the door. "Thanks."

Caroline stared nervously at the bouquet wrapped.

"Okay… Relax, Caroline, just…" she started to unwrap it with a small smile of hope on her lips.

A smile that disappeared as soon as her fingers brushed the petals of a daisy. Because, of course, they were not orchids.

October 2017.

Damon opened his eyes and tried to get them used to the darkness of the night. He listened carefully and then his lips curved into a smile. He knew that it would happen sooner or later.

When he opened the door of Stefan's room, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Well, well. Look who is back" Damon said.

Stefan did not turn around to look at him, he just placed a box on his desk.

"I see that you haven't thought about cleaning my room" he murmured, opening one of the boxes.
"I don't know, I thought that maybe you would, considering your secret trips back to Mystic Falls. Like, you know, that day when Caroline saw you through the window or when you were stalking her in the forest like a crazy man."
"Shut up."

Stefan took a couple of journals and put them in a drawer.

"What do you have there?" Damon asked, folding his arms. "You know what? I don't care. I hope you're back to explain why you don't answer my calls."

Stefan turned around and Damon saw his tired face.

"Didn't I tell you that I'd be the one that would get in touch with you as I've done before? Lily saw your call, they broke my phone."
"And are you going to explain me why you let them boss you about like that?"
"How is her?" he asked, turning back to the desk.

Damon frowned, and then realized that Stefan did not know that Caroline was not in Mystic Falls anymore.

"It's what I tried to tell you, that's why I called" Damon said, scratching his chin. "Let's say that… I couldn't hold her prisoner any longer."

Stefan turned to him quickly and frowned, looking intently at him.

"What?"
"Look, I tried!, okay? But she was determined and left, I wasn't able to stop her. And your little blonde ended up giving me a punch in my beautiful face."
"Damon, I asked you one favor, one!"
"You of all people should know how stubborn she is. I don't know how many times she has called me a dick in the last year and…"

Damon's back hit the wall when Stefan pushed him against it, hands on his neck.

"Where is she?"
"New York!" Damon said, pushing Stefan away, who put his hands on his hips and shook his head, his jaw clenched.
"You were supposed to take care of her, to watch her, to make sure that-"
"Shut up, that was your job, not mine. And, look, it's not that blondie and I are best friends, but after seeing your stupid behavior, I think she and I deserve an explanation of what the hell happened to you for leaving behind the only thing that has made you happy" Damon pulled out the photo of Stefan and Caroline of his pocket and threw it toward Stefan's chest.

He took it and watched them, smiling in the picture. He swallowed and Damon was able to see a strange sparkle in his eyes.

"Stefan, hey… Tell me what the hell happened, we can fix it. Did they threaten you? It's okay, we'll kill them. And I'm sure Caroline will forgive you, that nutcase is still crazy for you."
"No."

Damon closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his forehead as he walked toward this desk.

"No what?"
"Go find Caroline and bring her back" he said, dropping the picture on the desk. "If one of them finds out that Caroline is wandering, traveling… They'll think she's trying to find me, and she'd be in danger."

Stefan headed to the door, but he stopped when Damon called him.

"What's this?" he asked, picking up one of the journals. Stefan turned to him and looked at him suspiciously. "Are you writing again?"
"Leave that where it was. I gotta go or they'll suspect. And do me a favor, keep them stored here, can you at least do that?"
"Dear diary: that day, Caroline…"
"Damon, stop" Stefan snatched the journal from his hands and put it in the drawer, but Damon took another and opened it.
"Caroline helped me control the bloodlust, she said…"
"Damon, I said stop" Stefan grabbed the second journal, put it in the drawer and closed it with a slam. "Don't read them, don't open the boxes, and don't take them out, okay?"

Damon looked at his brother blankly.

"Why are you writing now about things that happened years ago?" he asked him.
"You know that I like to remember things" Stefan said. "Go look for Caroline as soon as you can, okay?"

Stefan headed again to the door, but now he was the one who was pushed against the wall. Damon had grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"What's going on? I won't ask again, Stefan."
"Nothing."
"Don't make me laugh. You wouldn't have left Caroline for the world. So something important must have happened. What?! Have they threatened to hurt her, kill her? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

Stefan pushed Damon away and looked at him, breathing hard.

"It doesn't matter what happened. She has to move on and forget me, and be sure that I will never come back."

Damon nodded, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"I never thought I'd be the one to say this, but you're being a dick. Caroline…"
"Shut up! Shut the fuck up, Damon. Do you want to know why I left? Do you want to know why I can't back?"

Stefan walked beside him, pushing him on the arm, and headed back to the desk. He took a journal of the box and showed it to Damon.

"You see this? Do you want to know why I write every second that I've shared with Caroline? Yes, they threatened to kill her when we got the house back and when you came up with the brilliant idea of killing another of them, Beau. They told me to choose between joining them or seeing how they would kill Caroline."

Damon looked away.

"And I…" Stefan pursed his lips and looked at the photo. "I wanted to confront them, but I could not. When Valerie…"
"The crazy one?"
"… realized that I was fighting back for Caroline, she decided to… take revenge."

Stefan took the photograph and looked at Caroline. Damon noticed that his brother was trying hard to keep his composure.

"And…?"
"They did it before Lily came. They tied me, they tortured me and… they cast some spells and… once they finished, Valerie explained what they'd done to me."

Damon looked at him with interested, but knowing that whatever it was, it would be horrible.

"I'm forgetting her, Damon. Caroline. I'm cursed, a spell is making me forget her a little every day until I don't remember her anymore. It's their punishment."

Stefan looked down to the floor with watery eyes and Damon looked at him, unable to speak.

"I'm forgetting every single moment that I've had with her, and there will come a day when I won't remember anything. I… I won't remember her, Damon."

Damon glanced at the picture and then at the boxes and the journals. That was why Stefan was writing again. He was writing every moment that he had spent with Caroline in order to read their memories once he would not remember her anymore.

"Did you really think I'd leave her like that?" he asked, laughing dismissively. He ran a hand over his face to try to calm down. Damon did not know what to say. "I couldn't be selfish, I couldn't be with her knowing that one day she'd have to carry with a person that doesn't remember her."
"Stefan…"
"I know, I know her better than anyone. I know what she would have said. I know that she wouldn't have cared. But what kind of person would I be if I let her bear with someone like me, someone who won't remember her? Dammit!"

Stefan punched the wall, breathing heavily. Damon grabbed his arm and made him turn to him.

"You know why I come here and stalk her? Because I can't be selfish, but I want to! I want to be selfish and be with her."
"You have to tell her. You can't keep letting her think that…"

Stefan shook his head.

"She doesn't deserve this, not after everything that she…"
"Stefan, there must be some way. I'll kill them if it's necessary" Damon took him by the shoulders and Stefan swallowed, looking away.
"There isn't, okay? Their powers… are something I've never seen."
"Why are you still with them though? Why don't you stay here and try to find a solution? Bonnie…"
"Why do you think, Damon?"

Stefan looked into his eyes.

"Being away from her won't change anything, Stefan" Damon rolled his eyes.
"Caroline has to hate me, Damon. And the only way is that she's sure I left because I wanted to. Promise me, Damon, promise me you're going to find her and bring her back."

Damon sighed.

"Damon" Stefan said. "You can't tell her about this, do you understand?"

Damon looked at the picture again and nodded.

Novemeber 2017.

Dear Elena, things start to get better. I'm learning how to control myself, and I guess Daniel's presence makes it easier… He's a good friend, I guess, but he doesn't realize that I'm not interested in starting something with anyone. He'll never be him, no one will…

Caroline sighed and looked away toward the bouquet of daises on the coffee table. The doorbell rang and she jumped. She hid her journal under the cushion and walked toward the door.

"Surprise, blondie! Did you miss me?" Damon smiled widely and Caroline rolled her eyes.
"What are you doing here, Damon?"
"I'm here to bring you home."
"Damon…"
"Home, Caroline" he emphasized, pulling out the photo of Stefan and her to show it to her.

Caroline frowned, looking at the picture. She looked up at him, wondering if he meant what she was thinking. And Damon, of course, nodded.