Title: In love with no one.

Continuity: 'Diwali'. (Season Three's 6th episode.)

Song: 'Need you now', by Lady Antebellum. (Fragments.)

Feedback: Of course, reviews are highly appreciated.

Warning/Comments: Slightly A/U. Pam's POV. This one it's kind of sad, but I think it's an interesting episode, and I had fun writing it.

Picture perfect memories,
scattered all around the floor.

Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

I nervously checked on my phone for the hundredth time that day. Nothing. No calls, no messages. Nothing at all.

I sighed tiredly, sadly, but I tried joining the party and talking to my coworkers as well as to Kelly's parents and friends. After all, if I was at a party, I was supposed to have fun, wasn't I? That was the whole idea of being there in the first place. But I was on my own and I felt empty and alone, and nothing that party had to offer or anything neither Dwight nor Michael were doing in order to entertain the crowd would cheer me up or interest me.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.

After chatting briefly about something that I can't even remember with one of Kelly's relatives, I walked away from the dance floor and into one of the hallways, while I took my cell phone out of my pocket and checked it out once again. Nothing. Frustrated, I started writing another message, and I didn't notice that Angela was watching me closely as I did so. Her question surprised me.

"Who were you texting?"She asked, looking interested.

It wasn't usual for Angela to be interested in the life of her coworkers, but she was clearly even more bored than I was, so I imagined she was just trying to make conversation. However, I instinctively hid the phone and pretended to be calm.

"No one."I innocently answered. I didn't turn around to see the look on her face (probably a skeptical one) and check if she had believed me (since I was sure she hadn't.) I avoided her gaze and walked away from her to resume writing the message. After I sent it, I entered the bathroom and leaned my head forward on the cold surface of the tiles, trying to silence the voice in my mind that kept making fun of me.

No one. Brilliant answer, Pam. Really.

No one. Sure, if that's what you call the love of your life.

No one. Well, you've spent all day waiting for 'no one' to call you, so I guess you're crazy.

No one. Why don't you call him by his name? It's because you're afraid that if he doesn't call you it'll be too hard to bear, isn't it? If 'no one' doesn't call you, it's easily for you to forget it, isn't it? Am I right? Of course I am.

Oh, shut up! I would have wanted to shout it, but I was afraid someone would hear me, so I simply whispered it. Shut up for a while. I went back to the dance floor, where I had to stand Michael ridiculously proposing to his girlfriend and obviously getting rejected and dumped by her for putting her through something like that on their second date. After that, he quickly ran outside to hide from everyone, and I had reached that point where I didn't care about anything anymore, so I followed him. On the way out, I couldn't help but checking on my phone again. Still nothing.

Michael turned around to face me when he heard me, and his gaze dropped to the phone, that I held tightly in my hands.

"Are you waiting for a call?"He asked, looking up from his spot on the step where he sat.

I mentally scolded myself for being so transparent that even someone totally inattentive that couldn't care less for anyone else but him like Michael could read me like an open book.

"Uh… No."I stuttered as I sat next to him. Luckily, he quickly started talking about how we were both victims of broken engagements or something and he seemed to forget about the phone. I wasn't really listening, but I pretended to while I was lost in my own thoughts, until I accidentally told him something that expressed my own feelings about that night.

"I kind of thought something would happen tonight too."I said, trying to make him feel better. He wasn't the only one disappointed in how the events had turned out. And I wasn't lying about that. The little outburst in the bathroom had proved that. I looked down to the cell phone once again, even when I knew that nothing had changed in the last minutes, and I couldn't help but feeling miserable.

I hated to be devoting every minute to that phone, waiting for him to call. I hated being such a fool I couldn't realize that he wouldn't be calling nor answering my messages. I hated not being able to leave him alone and move on. I hated to be so in love with him. So, so, madly in love with him that it hurt. I hated myself for shutting him down in the first place.

What I hated the most, though, was the fact that I couldn't hate him. I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, even when I knew that forgetting him would be a lot easier if I did so. But I couldn't, my heart wouldn't let me feel for him anything but undying love.

A love that, apparently (considering that he hadn't answered to my messages nor contacted me), wasn't to be returned. The voice in my mind started torturing me once again.

He's not in love with you. If he were, he would have called you.

He's not in love with you. He moved on.

But you're stuck. Forever.

I'm stuck. I mouthed, admitting that it was true. And I knew it was my entire fault.