CHAPTER VI
May 2018.
He looked up quickly to look at her face, at the way she was closing her eyes and squeezed his shoulders with her fingers and oponed her mouth, parting her lips, letting out a breath. Stefan took the opportunity to stroke her lower lip with his thumb as he watched her reach the highest peak. Caroline oponed her eyes when she felt his touch and gave him a little smile. He always pleased her.
Stefan leaned his face towards her collarbone and started kissing her skin and bones delicately. She closed her eyes again, overwhelmed by the way he was caressing her body with her lips, heading to her neck, jaw…
She felt his hand cupping her cheek, stroking it with his fingertips, as he pulled her hair away from her face. Caroline opened her eyes and realized how close he was, how he was staring at her face.
And when their eyes met, she also saw a sparkle in his glassy eyes. Caroline frowned slightly, looking back at him.
"I love you" he said, stroking her cheek with a little smile on his face. Distant, sad.
Stefan brushed her lips with his and Caroline closed her eyes, feeling a sense of fear overwhelming her.
"I love you" he repeated, burying his face in her neck, letting out a sigh.
Caroline stared at the ceiling, feeling his lips against her skin, feeling his breath, feeling his dismay. And feeling that, somehow, things were about to change.
Caroline moved her spoon in her coffee cup, listening to the clock of the wall of the bar. The doorbell of the door ran and a few seconds later Damon sat in front of her, dropping his hands on the table and tapping his fingers.
"Well" he said, clearing his throat. Caroline kept looking at her coffee with an exhausted look. "You left early in the morning."
"I needed a walk" she said.
"With my car."
Caroline shrugged. Damon guessed that trying to make her mad would not be enough this time to make her react. He sighed, watching how she moved the spoon all over again without giving even a sip of her coffee.
"Do you… wanna talk about it?" he finally asked.
"No, Damon. I don't."
"Um, okaaay" he said. "So… What do we do now? Should we go back?"
"I guess."
Damon frowned after hearing her answer.
"To Mystic Falls?" he asked again.
"Yeah" she said. She looked up at him. "Check the car before we leave. There wasn't too much gas when I parked."
Damon looked at her, not knowing what to say, and Caroline looked at her coffee.
"Prepare your bags, I'll be back in 15 minutes and we can leave" he said, standing up. Caroline nodded and when she heard the doorbell ring again after he left the bar, she looked up.
Damon opened the door as he typed a message to Bonnie to say that they were going home.
"Okay, blondie. Car with gas, checked. Bonnie and Enzo warned, checked. Paid the room of this ugly motel, checked. Time to…"
Damon closed his mouth after looking up from the screen of his phone and realizing that there was no signo of Caroline in the room. He gritted his teeth and snorted. Obviously, she had deceived him and that meant that she was probably on her way to the house where Stefan and the heretics were staying. If she had not already arrived.
Her plan? No idea, but it would surely be a suicide mission, even if she thought that she could save the world simply because she wanted to.
"Can't you stop acting like Sailor Moon for even a second, blondie? Damn it" he mumbled before leaving the door and shutting the door.
Caroline bent behind the bushes and put her hair behind her ear to listen carefully. The house was silent, and there would not be a better opportunity than that one. She walked towards the house and surrounded it, stuck to the wall, until she found the back door.
She took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping into the kitchen. Apparently, the house did not have an owner, which simplified things. She walked slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible, and then saw a book on the counter. She knew where she would find him.
She walked into the library in a few seconds, and it was a stroke of luck that the house was so empty. She saw him sitting on the couch, his back to her. His neck, his hair, his head slightly tilted forward, looking down. She took two steps forward and saw that he was writing. Another day, more pages to fill, more moments to remember. And it hurt, it hurt like nothing had ever hurt.
"Stefan."
It was only a whisper, but it felt so good to taste his name in her mouth again, and felt that he was really there and it was not another of her dreams or hallucinations. He was there, he was real.
Stefan stood up immediately, turning around to her, the journal hanging in his hand. He looked at her with the same face he had when she found him in Savannah years ago. He swallowed hard, his mouth dry, trying to speak.
"What are you doing here?" he asked her. Caroline stared into his eyes, feeling a knot in her throat.
"Are you really… asking me that question?" Caroline smiled slightly with a spark in her eyes. Stefan looked at her, frozen. "I came for you."
Caroline waited for him to say something, but all he did was look around until his gaze landed on the door. He was afraid of someone entering or hearing her. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her because of him.
"You shouldn't have" he said, shaking his head a little, looking down.
Caroline blinked, trying not to collapse. She licked her lips and took a step toward him.
"Stefan…"
"Caroline" Stefan stepped back and Caroline stopped, hurt. "Please, don't. Go, if they know you're here, they…"
"I'm not leaving" she said, interrupting him. "I won't be so stupid to leave and not insist. That's what I should have done that day when you lied to me and left."
Stefan looked up at her. She was hurt, of course, and he understood. He knew perfectly what she meant.
"Caroline, you… You don't understand" he said, looking at the journal from the corner of his eye. "It's… It's much more than what you think, it's…"
"Stefan, I know. I know everything."
Stefan looked up at her again and she took another step forward. If he stretched an arm, he would be able to touch her. But he could not, he could not let her convince him.
"What?"
"I know about the spell" she said with glassy eyes. "I… Your journals" Caroline tucked her hair behind her ear, looking away. Stefan finally understood. She had read them. "I've read them. I've read every page, every sentence, every…" Caroline sighed and pursed her lips for a moment when she felt them trembling.
Stefan nodded with glassy eyes as well.
"You should have told me" she said. Stefan looked intently at her eyes.
"To make it more difficult?"
"No, Stefan…" Caroline finally stood in front of him and grabbed the journal of his hand. She closed it and looked at the cover, stroking the material. "So instead of writing it all, I could be the one who made you remember everything."
Stefan smiled slightly with sadness in his eyes. He shook his eyes, looking away.
"You have to go. I don't know where they are, but they'll come and…"
The words floated in the air when he felt Caroline intertwining her fingers with his, holding his hand carefully. Stefan looked at their joined hands and his heart began to beat fast, as if it was going to pop out of his chest. He looked at her and saw that she was looking at their joined hands as well with a small smile on her face, tired eyes, but hopeful.
"Stefan, let me… Let me be by your side, please."
"No, I can't. Don't you understand? I'm going to forget everything" Stefan had to swallow when he felt the knot forming in his throat. His eyes filled with tears, and Caroline could not help but feel the tears forming in her eyes as well at seeing him that way. "I'm going to forget you, I'm already forgetting you. And it's… It's…"
Stefan looked at her and cupped her cheek. Caroline gasped when she felt his touch against her skin, when she saw the way he was looking at her.
"It's the worst thing that could ever happen to me" he said with weak voice. "And I can't… You can't go through this. You deserve to be happy, to find someone who…"
"Are you kidding?"
"Caroline, it's not fair. It's not fair to you."
"No, what is not fair is that you decide for me" Caroline said.
Stefan sighed.
"And what will happen when I forget you? Huh?" he asked her. Caroline shook her head.
She brushed his neck with her fingers, down his skin until she dropped her hand on his chest and squeezed his shirt. Stefan closed his eyes at the feel of her touch and Caroline leaned her forehead against his. When he opened his eyes, he met hers and his heart jumped.
"We'll not let that happen" he said.
"No?"
"No" she shook her head again. "Because I will make you remember" she said in a whisper.
She leaned toward him a little but Stefan placed a hand on her cheek.
"How?"
She smiled slightly and brushed his lips with hers a little, closing her eyes.
"No need of journals, Stefan" she said, close to his lips. "You have me. I can tell you everything myself. And when that doesn't have any effect, I'll just…"
Caroline pressed her lips against his, giving him a slow, simple kiss. She opened her eyes and saw that Stefan was already staring at her.
"And what will happen once I forget also about that?" he asked her.
"I'll give you another" she said, placing her hands on both sides of his neck to give him another peak. Stefan closed his eyes tightly, enjoying the touch of her lips. It had been years without her, without her kisses. He licked his lips, trying to mark the taste of her mouth on his skin, and she opened her sparkly eyes.
"Caroline… No, don't…"
"Stefan, please" she begged.
Stefan looked at her for a few seconds, but then looked away, trying very hard not to let go. Caroline grabbed his chin to make him look at her again and although Stefan tried to avoid her gaze, he finally looked at her and gulped.
"Look at me and tell me you don't want to come back, with me" she said.
"How wouldn't I want to be with you?" he asked her. "Did you read my journals?"
"Then, come with me" she squeezed his shirt tightly helplessly "I will remember for both of us."
She smiled slightly, a bit sad, bringing her face close to his.
"Okay?" she whispered before pressing her lips against his again. Stefan closed his eyes, letting her brush his lips.
He cupped her cheeks with his hands, fingers tangled in her hair, and parted her lips with his tongue to kiss her in a way that she had not done in years. It was like breathing for the first time and drowning at the same time. He felt her soaked cheeks with tears, not only from her eyes, but also from his.
"I'm sorry" he whispered against her lips. "I'm sorry…"
Caroline clung to him and Stefan wrapped her in his arms to hug her, burying his face in her neck as she did the same.
"I love you."
Caroline closed her eyes at hearing his words, overwhelmed by the feel of him beside her again after so many months of nightmares, tears, and grief.
"Come home" she whispered against his chest. Stefan nodded, throwing his head back to look at her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Caroline leaned to his touch.
"Oh, what do we owe this pleasure?"
Stefan turned to the door and Caroline looked over his shoulder, behind him. Of course, there would be complications.
"Does Lily know she's here?" Valerie asked, raising her eyebrows. Caroline opened her mouth to respond but she kept talking. "This wasn't our dial, Stefan. It was seeing her die or joining us, remember?"
"I joined you, I am here, aren't I?" he said. "Caroline was just…"
"No need to lie, Stefan. I heard everything."
Stefan and Caroline remained silent. He was trying to think of a way to get them out there or to save Caroline, whereas Caroline was looking at Valerie angrily.
"Unfortunately, deals mean something to me. And since you've decided to leave us…"
Valerie made a gesture with her hand and Caroline led her hands to her temples, closing her eyes tightly and falling down to the ground. Stefan vamp sped towards Valerie and grabbed her by the neck until he pushed her against the wall.
"Stop!" he shouted. Valerie smiled. Stefan heard Caroline's cries of pain in the background. "I said stop!" Stefan squeezed her neck harder, but then Valerie raised her hand, ready to make the last move to end with Caroline's life.
Damon appeared suddenly, looking around with a blank face. Stefan grabbed the collar of Valerie's jacket and dragged her at vamp speed with him, leaving the house.
"No!" Caroline cried, trying to stand up.
"Blondie!" Damon ran towards her to help her stand. "Are you insane?! What were you thinking? Would you mind telling me about your suicidal plans before carrying them out?!"
"We have to find him!" she said, trying to get rid of his grip. Damon was grabbing her arm. She looked at him with pursed lips. "Damon" she said in a warning tone. He snorted and released her arm. He knew that he could not stop her a second time in two days when Stefan's life was in danger.
"Let's go find him."
They vamp sped out of the house to look for him in the woods. They went separate ways, trying to listen to anything that would help them find him. But everything was silent. No sign of discussions, spells, murmurs, no shouting or fight. Caroline felt a sense of fear inside her. She had just got him back after months of agony, would she lose him again in a matter of seconds? Maybe it was her fault for having gone look for him, for not having carried out a better plan.
She would never be able to forgive himself if that was the case.
She grabbed a tree in order to brake. She looked down and saw him lying on the ground with his eyes closed. No sign of Valerie.
"Damon!" she exclaimed.
She walked quickly towards him, listening to the beating of her own heart pounding her ears. She bent down and looked at him with wide eyes, placing a hand on his chest. She sighed, relieved. His heart was beating, and he was still breathing.
Damon came and stopped behind her suddenly at seeing Stefan lying on the floor.
"It's okay" she said quickly. "He's just… unconscious."
"Valerie must have left him KO" Damon said, looking around suspiciously. "Where is that crackpot, by the way?"
"It doesn't matter" she said, and started to get Stefan to carry him. Damon put a hand on her shoulder.
"I will do it."
Damon looked through the rearview mirror. Caroline was sitting in the back seat, Stefan was lying with his head on her lap, and she was stroking his hair, looking at him with a little smile.
"You're crazy, you know that, right?" Damon said. Caroline rolled her eyes. "I thought you were being serious when you agreed to go back to Mystic Falls. I thought you had finally given up."
"Who's the idiot now?" Caroline asked, still staring at Stefan. Damon snorted.
"I should have known" he murmured.
"Do you think that…? Shouldn't he have awakened already?" Caroline asked, a little worried.
"He's breathing and his heart beats, that's what matters. We know how strong are those damn heretics. Maybe it'll take some time for him to recover. He'll wake up, and if not, Bonnie will find a way. At least, he's with us."
Caroline smiled again, stroking Stefan's cheek.
"It's the first time I see you smile in a long time" Damon said, looking intently at the road.
Caroline tried to hide her smile, but she could not.
"Because I finally feel I'm home" she said, shrugging. Damon rolled his eyes and snorted again. "Shut up" she mumbled, shaking her head.
"Stop being so cheesy" Damon said.
"Don't pretend you're not happy. I know you missed him as much as I did."
Damon sighed and looked at Stefan through the rearview mirror.
"Turns out he's essential for both of us, huh?" Caroline said, looking up to meet his gaze.
"Turns out."
Stefan pulled the key out of the pocket of his jeans and looked at it with an exhausted face. He sighed and dropped his forehead against the door. He did not find the way to do it, to explain what was going on, or to say goodbye. Because all he wanted and needed was be with her.
He stood straight, trying to compose himself, sniffling. He opened the door and smiled at seeing everything so neat and tidy. Her head showed up from the kitchen and Caroline looked at him with surprise.
Stefan smiled slightly, closing the door behind him. She was beautiful with her hair worn up in a bun and a lock of it falling on the side of her face. Caroline stopped whatever she was doing and ran towards him with a smile on her face, jumped on him like a predator and put her legs around his waist.
Such was the strength with which she had jumped on him that Stefan hit the door, laughing. She suddenly kissed him and Stefan wrapped her waist with his arms, putting his hands under her shirt to stroke her back. He had been gone only for three days, and he had missed her as if it had been an eternity.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back today?" she asked him.
"I wanted to give you a surprise" he said, placing the lock of hair behind her ear.
"I missed you" Caroline said. Stefan gulped and nodded, briefly looking away. "How was the trip? Is Damon better now?"
"Yeah, he's fine."
Lies and more lies. He had been the one who had asked Damon to go away for a few days. And the only reason was because he wanted to meet a witch he had heard about. Purpose? Ask for her help to undo the spell, but as he had suspected, it had no solution. There was nothing like that magic. But, of course, he had not told Damon about this, and he could not tell her either.
"Mm, I see that you do okay without me" Stefan said, looking at how tidied everything was.
"Nonsense" she said with a smile.
"Actually, who knows. Imagine that one day, I don't know, I'm not here or something happens and…"
"Stefan" Caroline closed her eyes, trying not to lose her patience.
"I'm sure that you'd win over any guy you invited home in less than-"
"This conversation again?" she asked, irritated. She put her feet on the ground and folded her arms.
"I'm just saying that maybe, considering that you're stronger than me in every way" Stefan gave her an affectionate pinch on the belly and Caroline let out a sigh, "you'll live more than me. And if that happens…"
"If that happens, what?"
Stefan gave her a little smile. He was trying to make it look like a trivial talk, fun conversation. But he could not be talking more seriously.
"If that happens, I'd like you to promise me" Stefan pinched the tip of her nose playfully and Caroline rolled her eyes, pulling his hand away "that you'll move on, you'll be happy, and you'll let someone make you happy. Because you, Caroline Forbes" Stefan cupped her cheeks with his hands, "you deserve to be happier than anyone else in this world."
Caroline looked at him for a few seconds, staring into his eyes, trying to figure out if his words had a double hidden meaning. She placed her hands over his to caress his skin with her thumbs and Stefan got lost in her eyes, thinking how lucky he had been, and whishing that he had had more time with her. Because she made him insanely happy.
"There's no need to promise anything. I'm happy, with you" she said with a little smile. Stefan sighed. It was not what he wanted to hear, at least not completely. He needed to know that she would be okay when he was not there anymore.
"But suppose that…"
"Don't make me suppose anything" she interrupted him. "Because if you weren't here, I don't know what I would do" Caroline looked away briefly, feeling scared of only thinking that one day he could not be by her side. Stefan looked at her, trying not to show how worried he was. "Good thing that I'll have you forever" she said, looking at him again and smiling.
He looked at her silently with a straight face. Caroline frowned.
"Right?" she asked him.
Stefan stroked her cheek with his thumb, brushing her hair with his fingertips, and smiled slightly. Caroline was able to catch the hint of sadness in his eyes.
"Let me make it up to you for these having been MIA these three days. I'll make you dinner" he kissed her temple and headed to the kitchen.
Caroline followed him with her eyes, her smile fading slowly. Because deep down, she knew something was happening, and yet, she was afraid to recognize it and say it out loud.
"It's done" Bonnie said, closing the book.
"But he's not waking up" Caroline said nervously. Stefan was lying on his bed, he was still unconscious. Damon was standing between the two girls, watching his brother with folded arms.
"It had to be a powerful spell. He can wake up at any moment, but I'm sure he will soon. The book says that the period is an hour" Bonnie explained. "I still can't believe you found him."
"Sailor Moon did" Damon said, pointing at Caroline.
"Thank you, Bonnie" Caroline said.
"No worries" the brunette said. "I gotta go. Send me all the updates, and if there's any problem, don't hesitate to call me."
"We will, Sabrina" Damon said.
Bonnie rolled her eyes before leaving. Caroline sat on the bed while looking at Stefan.
"Okay, we must welcome our guest star as he deserves so… I'll make pancakes!"
Damon left the room and Caroline pursed her lips to keep from smiling. Damon would not admit it, but she knew that he was excited to have his brother back.
Caroline took Stefan's hand and sighed. It seemed unreal to be there with him at last.
"I forgive you" she whispered, leading his hand to her cheek to feel his touch. She lay down slowly beside him and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "I just want…" Caroline stroked his left cheek with her hand and kissed him on the other, brushing the tip of her nose against his skin, "you to wake up already. I want you to surprise me at home, making dinner, or reading in my bed, or…"
Caroline felt how his body moved a little. She stood straight quickly, staring him with concentration to analyze his face. His eyelids moved too and he started to open his eyes slowly.
Caroline smiled and got out of bed, not knowing what to do.
"Damon!" she exclaimed. "He's awake!"
"Pancakes going!" Damon said from the kitchen.
Caroline sat down on the bed again as Stefan rubbed his eyelids and stood a little to rest his back against the wall.
"How do you feel?" she asked him.
"A little… disoriented" Stefan looked around with tired eyes. "I'm home?"
Caroline nodded. Stefan seemed to finally focus and looked at her, confused.
"Who…?"
Caroline raised her eyebrows questioningly, still smiling.
"Who are you?"
But her smile vanished quickly.