Judai woke up next to Johan, who was still asleep. He looked so peaceful… so happy. So
Vulnerable, the voice said.
Judai shook his head, trying to make sure he didn't think like that again. He didn't want to hurt Johan; he didn't think he was vulnerable.
But he is. You could kill him right now without hesitation. If you're lucky, he might not even wake up, the voice said.
"I wouldn't kill him," Judai said out loud. He looked at Johan, who was still asleep. He would never kill him.
Didn't he rape you? the voice said.
"It wasn't his fault," Judai whispered.
How do you know he cares? the voice said.
"He ripped his soul from his body so he could feel my pain," Judai whispered.
Oh really? How do you know if it was to numb the pain? What if it was so he couldn't feel the pain you were going to bring him? Or to rid himself of the shame, the voice said.
"Shame?" Judai whispered.
How do you know he loves you? the voice said.
"Judai," Johan whispered weakly. Judai turned to him and smiled brightly, despite the fact he was scared. What was going on in his head?
"Rise and shine sleepy head," Judai laughed.
"I wanna sleep," Johan mumbled.
And we want you dead, the voice said.
"No, we don't," Judai argued with himself.
"We don't what?" Johan raised an eyebrow.
"We… don't… want to be sleeping here all day," Judai said, "Let's go out and see Dad! I haven't been able to have a normal conversation with him since I willingly gave up my soul to your dad so I could have my revenge and kill you because you raped me!"
The creepiest part about that was Judai said it all with a smile like it was no big deal. Johan gulped and looked away. He really didn't want Judai to say that.
"Y-yeah," Johan said reluctantly, "Let's go."
Judai smiled and grabbed his hand and made a portal to his dad.
"Come on," Judai smiled. Johan nodded and followed into the portal. Once he opened his eyes, he saw he was standing right next to God and all of Judai's friends along with some of Johan's family.
"Nice to see you're up, Johan," Jehu winked.
"He sleeps too long," Judai laughed.
"Yeah," Johan whispered.
"So, Judai," God said, "Are you feeling alright?"
"Course I am, dad," Judai laughed but he was lying. He was concerned about the voice in his head that wouldn't forgive Johan like he did.
He shouldn't have been forgiven, the voice said.
Why can't he be forgiven, Judai thought back. He knew he couldn't say it out loud or that would draw attention.
He's an awful person. He betrayed you. He has every right to die, the voice said.
"Judai," Johan asked.
"Huh?" Judai blinked looking around.
"You zoned out there for a minute," Sho pointed out.
"I wasn't able to get enough sleep," Judai smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. He didn't like lying but he didn't like worrying everyone around him.
"I thought you would have," Jehu sighed, "Oh well. I would understand if you had nightmares."
"Nightmares?" Judai tilted his head to the side.
"From Johan… um… forcing you to…" Jehu tried to say without making it awkward.
"Forcing me to have sex against my will therefore calling it rape?" Judai asked.
"Um… yeah," Jehu said wondering how Judai could say it so casually. He couldn't even tell them about how Satan raped him.
"Oh, I had nightmares while my soul was stolen," Judai said.
"Can we just not talk about this?" Johan sighed covering his ears. He really hated hearing about this.
How do you know he loves you? the voice said.
I trust him, Judai replied in his mind.
How do you know if he can be trusted? the voice said.
He's never broken my trust before, Judai glared at nothing.
I can think of a couple of times, the voice said.
Never purposely, Judai tried to make the voice shut up.
I can still think of a couple times, the voice said.
No, Judai thought.
He probably doesn't love you. Why would he love a whore like you? Didn't you have sex with Satan many times willingly? Why would he want to be with someone like that, who was able to get over him so easily? the voice said.
I-I wasn't thinking right at the time, Judai thought but felt a little ashamed. He was Satan's lover after the breakup with Johan. It didn't take long for him to get over Johan and move onto his own father.
He hates you, The voice continued sounding amused.
"Oh just shut up!" Judai shouted at the top of his lungs, "You're wrong and besides, so what? Maybe I did sleep with Satan a bunch of times willingly but I was a little mad in the head at the time! Besides, he raped me; I had sex with his dad. We're even now so quit saying nonsense!"
"Huh?" Johan said.
"Judai…" God whispered.
"Ops," Judai said, "Did I say that out loud?"
"Um… maybe…" Johan said.
"Oh fuck," Judai cursed.
"Judai," God glared at him.
"Sorry, I'm used to it from being in Hell for so long," Judai said without any amusement. He just spat it out.
"Judai, who were you talking to?" Johan asked him.
"Just myself," Judai laughed. It was true in its own way.
"Why would you say that to yourself?" Johan asked.
"I was feeling a little guilty for sleeping with Satan all those times so I was thinking some pretty pathetic thoughts about how I was an awful person. I decided to why not shout at myself for thinking those things," Judai said.
"Alright?" Johan's mom raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, what's your name anyway?" Judai changed the subject.
You lied to them, the voice said.
"I'm Haruka," She smiled.
First a whore now a liar. You really are an awful person, you know that?, the voice said.
Judai sighed but didn't say anything about it. If this was the punishment for being with Satan so long, then he would just have to live with it.
I can't wait until Jo-kun kills you both, The voice laughed.
WoNdY Alice made this. i get no credit.