Title: Cosmic Joke.

Continuity: 'Branch Closing'. (Season Three's 7th episode.)

Song: 'Ironic', by Alanis Morissette. (Fragment.)

Feedback: Of course, reviews are highly appreciated.

Warning/Comments: Slightly A/U. Jim's POV. During this whole episode, it seems to me that Jim goes through different states of mind and different feelings. I always thought that at first, he doesn't know how to feel about the fact that Scranton branch is being shut down-after all, that's the place where his best friend works, no matter how hard he tries to avoid thinking about her- but then, when he finds out that Stamford branch is actually the one being shut down, he has contradictory feelings: he doesn't want to go back there, and at the same time, he wants to-he has to. I tried my best to capture those contradictory feelings in this chapter.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you,
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.

Sometimes I think the Universe hates me.

Or maybe God's mad at me.

Perhaps it's just karma.

Something's got to be wrong for this to happen to me.

It's not like I was the luckiest guy out there- I've always been average when it came to luck-, but I least things were normal. I used to like my life. Now, instead, it seems that something or someone is decided to ruin my life, making me trip every step of the way.

You don't believe me, of course. You think I'm overreacting.

Fine. Let's look at the facts.

At first, I fell in love with my sweet, funny, beautiful- and engaged- best friend, Pam. Madly, desperately in love, like I had never loved anybody before. But I kept it to myself, because it was the right thing to do, and I acted like best friends are supposed to act.

I tried to be happy for her, I tried not to blow her engagement up by telling her how I felt - how every single time that man kissed her, every single word she said to him and not to me, every single smile she smiled for him shattered my heart even more and made me a bit crazier. I kept everything to myself. That was my duty, as her best friend and I did it, at first.

(Even when I couldn't stand seeing them together and every time I did felt almost nauseous. Even when the guy was a jerk who didn't deserve such an amazing woman, made her happy nor appreciated her as he should have. Even when deep down I knew she didn't love him and that marriage was a mistake. Even when I doubted he even loved her and I thought he just pretended to because he'd rather die before being alone. Even then, I kept my mouth shut.)

But in the end, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to tell her everything-or at least something; at least the bottom line. If I didn't, I would simply d lose it and I really didn't want to give up on my sanity. Besides, if I didn't tell her, if I left her marry Roy without her knowing my feelings, I would forever be haunted by the what if question, wondering if things would have been different, if she could have changed her mind and chosen me instead.

So I talked to her. I told her how I felt about her, and guess what? It was a disaster. She didn't feel the same way about me- or maybe she did, but she couldn't admit it because she was engaged to someone else. Either way, it broke what was left of my heart into a million pieces. She tried to explain, and make me understand how much my friendship meant to her, but I cut her off. I was so overwhelmed at that very moment by feelings of anger and sadness that I just couldn't nor wanted to hear her apologies. I cut her off, telling her that I wanted more than just friendship, trying to make her see my point of view, how I just couldn't live another day without her, but I couldn't talk some sense into her.

And then we kissed - something I had been wanting to do for a long time; probably ever since I had had first met her, and even when she admitted she felt the same way, she still said she would marry Roy. When I heard those words, I simply gave up. I said it was okay and I left, as some kind of quiet, soothing pain washed over me. It was like the confirmation of the fact that I had nothing left, nothing to wake up in the mornings for.

With nothing tying me to Scranton anymore, I requested to be transferred to another branch right away. I didn't care which. I just wanted to get away as far as possible from Pamela 'soon to be Roy's wife' Beesly. The corporate didn't care about the reasons why I wanted to leave Dunder Mifflin Scranton-probably they just blamed Michael- and agreed to transfer me to the closest branch, Stamford, which is where I am now.

(Of course Michael wasn't the reason. I had been standing him for years, so if he really would have been the problem, I would have quit way earlier. No, the reason was way more complicated. It was a reason that had a name and a last name. The most beautiful reason on the face of the Earth to me. Pam Beesly. But of course I wouldn't tell that to corporate executives. If they wanted to blame Michael Scott, then so be it. He certainly deserved it. )

At first it was really hard- I was here, she was there, and I missed her, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't be mad at her nor forget her. Desperately trying to go back to normality, I started dating Karen, one of my co-workers, thinking that maybe that was what I needed to forget the past and move on.

I was finally starting to fit in here and adjust to the way things work in this branch; I was starting to pick up the pieces of my life and trying my best to put them back together; I had just given Karen a chance to prove me that love isn't just something that can destroy you, but that it can also make you whole again- I wasn't sure if she would be able to heal me, but at least I had given her the chance.

Things were starting to get better- or that's what it seemed. Until today. Until Jan Levinson came and gave me the news: the Stamford branch was the one being shut down, the Scranton branch was absorbing it and everyone would be fired except some lucky ones-among which was I- who wouldn't, but would be transferred there.

Jan didn't listen when I tried to explain I couldn't go back there. She congratulated me for being among the lucky ones and assured me that the corporate didn't want to lose me because I was a very good employee and she said that once I was back in Scranton, I'd probably be promoted to number two of that branch. She completely ignored me and left, in a hurry, as she always was.

Here I am, packing to go back. As I do so, the irony of the situation keeps hitting severally me like strong waves, one after the other.

You left Scranton to get over her, and you promised yourself you wouldn't go back, ever. And now you're sent back there and you have to go unless you want to lose your job, and she's single, but you can't do anything about it, because now you have Karen. Ironic. Just when it seemed you had it all together.

Suddenly, and completely out of nowhere, I laugh, causing both Andy and Karen to turn their gazes to me, a puzzled look on his face and one of sarcastic disbelief on hers. I pay them no attention.

And life has a funny, funny way of helping you out…
Helping you out.

It's just so ridiculous, so absurd, this situation I find myself in, and I just had to admit it. After all, I've always been someone who's proud of being capable of self-criticism.

This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous, Halpert. C'mon, pull yourself together, man. It's not that bad. You're going home.

As I finish packing, my lips curl into a small smile. The rational part of me is right. All of this might seem the Universe taking me as some cosmic joke, God being mad at me, or Karma trying to punish me. But it has a bright side: I get to go home. And that's the thought that stays on the top of my mind, over all, while I start humming a song as I make my way out of the office.

I'm going home.