Chapter 4: Confessions (revised)

**Confessions**

Jacob pushed himself back toward home with all the force he could muster. With every landing of his paw, he tried to cement his thoughts away from what he had just done. Jacob valued Edward's opinion of him.

Before he would revel in tormenting Edward with his thoughts of Bella but now was different; now the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass Edward with his feelings for his daughter. The situation was weird enough.

Maybe, he thought, I should just come clean. It might be better than a failed attempt to hide it. Jake thought that perhaps that was the best way; perhaps even asking him for his advice. It's not like any of this was Jake's fault.

Come clean man, you will feel better about it.

Oh geez Embry, you just had to butt in didn't you?

It's not like we can help it!

WE? Jake shouted indignantly.

Yeah, sorry bro, we're all here. It's been a while since we heard from you. Seth chimed in.

Well, at least Leah is gone, I would feel bad...

Well, unfortunately I am here... I came back for a visit, I took a run with the boys for old time sake. Jeez Jake, way to be a sleaze.

Well that's just perfect, Jake muttered.

Don't worry about it, Edward will understand, just tell him, Seth soothed.

It's not like anyone can blame you man, damn, she's hot, Quill laughed.

Shut it! Jake ordered.

Sorry boss. Hey you comin' home any time soon? We're havin' a bar-b-Que tonight. You should come hang out. Both packs together for old time sake.

You should go Jake, I'm not going though, I don't want to deal with Sam. Leah said, which was her way of saying he wouldn't have to put up with her.

Actually, I would like to hang out with you Lee, it's been a long time since you were in my head. Tell you what- I'll go if you do.

Leah couldn't help but feel a little loved. Sure, sure. I'll be there then. She replied.

Alright y'all, I'll be up at La Push a bit later. I'm gonna go talk to Edward.

Good choice, they all thought almost in unison.

He could feel one by one the minds of his pack leave him to prepare whatever the hell he was going to have to say.

What in heaven's name would college be like. There was only one way. Renesmee would have to choose him. He would have to make her choose him… hopefully sooner than later.

Jake pushed himself harder, with hope burning in his heart like an iron, he wanted to get back. The sun was already up and it looked as if it were closer to noon than to morning.

When Jake walked up to the door, he was thankful that Edward was the one who opened it to him.

"Hey Edward, can we talk?"

"Yes, in fact I wanted to talk to you too, Jake."

Edward invited him inside, but not to the living room or any of the drawing rooms. Instead they headed for the garage and hopped in Bella's car. Jake made a conscious effort to think of other things so that he could prepare Edward.

"It's a shame she doesn't use this thing more," Edward commented.

"Bella never was one who was much for show," Jacob noted.

"As usual, you're right," he said, smiling, thinking about Bella and her usual response to something flashy.

Almost instantly they were on the road and headed out of town on highway one. "Does she even take it out?"

"Psh, no! It's always, 'What's the point, running's faster, and if I need to drive, it's far too conspicuous.' I might as well have bought it for myself for all the use she makes of it."

"Well that's not so bad," Jake laughed.

Before too long, they were at the side of the road looking out over the ocean.

"Why did we even bother to drive?" Jake asked looking puzzled.

"I didn't want anyone to try to follow us. If they thought we were going somewhere like California, they wouldn't bother. But if we left on foot, I'm sure we would have had company," Edward remarked with a smirk.

"Well before you start, I need to confess something… and I'm sorry. Be warned before you rummage in my head…but I really don't know what to do. It's Renesmee."

Edward assessed the meaning behind his words in an instant. He grimaced at first and then smiled.

"Thanks for the warning," he said with a weary smile. "That's not shocking actually. It's much better than what she would have preferred to have you do, and far better than what goes on in her mind. At least you are in love with her and your thoughts are motivated by love and a desire to be with her for eternity. I can deal with that. She's just in the mind set of throwing her body around simply because she can. I'm actually at a loss and that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Talk to me about. What can I do?"

Edward looked for a long time out over the water before speaking.

"Walk with me," Edward said getting out of the car.

They walked along the old highway and Edward led the way down the cliff to the rocky beach below. Jacob didn't even dare to speak but just followed down the jagged cliff, as agile as Edward.

The sun shone in breaks through the light clouds, as they strolled along for a long while in silence. Edward picked up a rock and sent it flying over the surface of the water then slid his hands back in his pocket.

Facing Jake he looked him square in the eyes. "You can convince Renesmee to marry you," Edward said at last.

"Marry me? Wait, first you want her to spend time away from me. Then you consent to her dating me when she gets home, and we go from it being okay to be with me to you asking me to marry her?"

"Yea, what's your point?" Edward asked.

Jake ran his hand through his thick hair, the light reflecting of the single ring he wore on his middle finger. "Don't misunderstand my hesitation," Jake offered quickly, " I mean I would love nothing more, but have you noticed? I don't even know that woman who came back. I mean, I know Nessie is in there somewhere, but it's like she's been…"

"Infected?" Edward said with a grim smile as he continued walking down the beach.

"Yea… or something." Jake said keeping pace, walking beside him.

"I spoke to Carlisle briefly. We came to the conclusion that the human hormones combined with the vampire instinct of seduction have made a combination that is hard to predict. This is only the beginning. Once she actually has sex, she won't be able to stop."

Edward stopped walking and started pacing back and forth as he continued. "For her, it will be like our need for blood. Our need for our mates is almost as desperate as our thirst. Since she has her thirst tempered with that of food and being human, her lustful desire easily wins out for most potent in her existence. If we don't get a handle on her, anything could happen."

Jake walked out toward the water, breathing the sea air deeply as the sound of the waves crashed on some rocks.

"I told her if she came home with a baby I would all but disown her," Edward continued, talking to Jake's back. "That didn't go too well with the family, but she needs to understand the severity of having sex."

Jacob turned swiftly in shock.

"I suppose," Edward continued with a sigh, unloading his heavy mind, "I suppose that I would be willing to deal with her exploration of … shall was say, other intimacies, however repugnant to me, but she must under no circumstances have intercourse that could lead to pregnancy out of wedlock. On that point I will not budge. Because that means the introduction of someone into our way of life and it could cost more lives in the process. We must keep the secret… It's hard to do that if she is popping out babies here and there. I've never heard of vampire contraception. It's just all too risky."

Jacob was without words.

Edward again gave a grim smile. "Don't look so shocked. I am not suggesting anything she hasn't already done. I just have to live with the decisions she's already made. I am just letting you know, from me, how I feel about it. Besides, there is something I must in turn confess to you."

Jake stepped back in shock if not horror. Those are words he never thought he would hear.

"I was wrong to send her away. I don't think any of this would have happened if I had just given her to you and approved of your relationship at first, given you the wedding and never let her realize her options. She would have been happy with you and never regretted the decision, as far as I can tell…" Edward sighed heavily and continued to look out over the water.

"Well," said Jacob speaking with a voice it took him several moments to find, "I suppose that I'll have my work cut out for me in college."

Edward laughed one hard chuckle. "That's the truth, if ever I heard it. I don't envy you, but I will be close by if you need anything."

"Are you and Bella still going to UW as well?"

"Yes, we are planning to. I have the house already for us. Your dorm arrangements are prepared, in case you didn't want to rush for a fraternity." Edward said heading back up the beach toward the car.

"Is Nessie planning on rushing for a sorority?"

"I believe so. Now more than ever… More chances to play…" Edward rolled his eyes at the image that flashed through his head, against his will. "You'll see for yourself soon enough," he amended, noting the question in Jake's eyes.

They scaled the cliff-side in moments and were back up a few feet from the car. Pulling the keys out from his pocket he placed them in Jake's hand. "We should get back."

A smile broke out over Jacob's face like the sun breaking free of the clouds. He got to drive the red Ferrari!

A/N: still doin okay? I'd like to thank my latest reviewer by name veraleeon.

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