Chapter 6: Foolish Games Stupid In Love (revised)

** Foolish Games. Stupid. In Love. **

Jacob walked over to the open garage toward a motorcycle that was parked beside a car that was rarely used, a vintage Shelby. He recalled when Edward had purchased the bike in hopes of being closer to Bella. It didn't work, but it turns out he didn't need it.

Jake started to grab at a helmet for Nessie and realized, she would need one about as much as he would. Instead he turned the key that was already in the ignition. "Get on."

Nessie wordlessly obeyed.

Down the driveway and out onto the highway he sped, and found his way out to the reservation. He stopped when he got to the mouth of the beach that he and Bella used to spend so much time strolling on in those early days.

Jake nodded for Ness to follow him. Sheepishly she followed, and Jacob couldn't resist the urge to hold her hand the way he used to hold Bella's hand. The sea was blustery and grey with it usual summer temper. The rocks moved beneath their feet and the sound of their footsteps was the only audible sound along with the gentle lullaby of the tide. Jacob concentrated on the sound of their hearts beating. His beat steady and strong, hers fluttered along, a bit quicker than was usual. Jacob could tell that she was fighting nervousness. A smile tugged at his lips, but he maintained his mask.

The clouds rolled out to sea leaving a purple streaked sky, with the setting sun winking at them before it gracefully bowed out for the day, still they walked on. Suddenly Jacob turned to face Renesmee, as ready as he would ever be.

He had so much to say from when she had returned, but they had missed that track all together with Renesmee's odd behavior.

He wondered how he had been able to ignore this woman for the better part of the two days they had just spent together. She was the woman of his dreams, even simply dressed in a pair of faded jeans and navy blue blouse that hung low off one shoulder, and her hair up in a messy bun. She still had her pretty hoops in her ears.

Why were they so off track? These aren't the things he could say to her now. She was somewhere else in her mind now. First, he had to know what happened to her to change her so fundamentally. What did she want now? What did she want out of this life? Did she want a life of misery and meaningless relationships in the pursuit of fun? Would he have the strength to wait, for her to realize…

Jake stopped walking and faced her, the salty wind off the water blew a few loose tendrils around Renesmee's neck and a few strands stuck to her lips. He gently guided the strand from the side of her lips back past her cheek and behind her ear and kept walking in silence.

Jacob tried to stop that thought in its tracks but it was too late... would she realize what Bella never did, or rather, what Bella realized once it was already too late to matter? How much she really did love him…

If he failed again, this time would be so much worse than before, and he didn't know any pain worse than that.

All these questions and more flashed in his eyes as he looked down at the woman who held so much. It felt wrong that his whole existence should now be tied to this one person, who was so frivolous with is feelings. Maybe she didn't know, truly and honestly what this was doing to him… maybe she truly did love him… it was because there were these maybe's that he decided against gracefully bowing out, like the sun had since done. Suddenly he felt he was stupid in love and his nickname should be 'you idiot'.

He stopped walking and looked at her deeply in her chocolate diamond eyes.

No, I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Could this siren love him truly, or would she be forever lost to her lusts?

She looked at him as if trying to see what was behind his eyes. It was times like these that she wished she had ability, similar to her father.

"Nessie" he said after almost an hour of walking in silence, "I've missed you," he said plainly.

Nessie knew something was off. This wasn't the voice he usually would have with her.

"And I you," she replied.

"You've changed."

She opened her mouth to reply, but he gently placed his fingers over her lips. He looked at the action as if his hand belonged to someone else, "don't… don't try to deny it. You are different. You've changed."

"What's going on Jacob?" She asked.

"You know how much you mean to me. You know that I would do anything for you."

"Of course."

Of course, he laughed with a strained anxiety to himself. "I will be anything you want, except your sex toy." He said plainly.

Renesmee was shocked by his bluntness.

"I will be your friend, and only your friend," he said. His voice sounded in his own ears as if it lacked conviction, and he knew that he would have to mean it if he was to survive Renesmee. "So we go to school. We are friends. Don't try to get me to mess around with you. I won't do it."

Renesmee tried to laugh it off. "Is that what this is about?"

Jacob looked at her in wonder. She was going to laugh this away…he repeated to himself I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

"Jake, you're my best friend. I'm sorry if I offended you the other day. You're right, I am different. I learned a lot more than just advanced trig and physics in college. I can't explain what I learned… but I can show you…"

In a moment that Jake didn't anticipate she brought her hand up to his face and his mind was overwhelmed, bombarded with images, images of Renesmee; Renesmee alone exploring herself, Renesmee with girls, Renesmee with boys. In a fit, he grabbed her hand and threw it away from him.

She laughed almost hysterically. "What's the matter silly?"

"Nessie?" He said in despair.

"It's just sex. It's not the end of the world."

"No it's not. It's the most sacred bond two people can have. How can you just throw yourself away like that?"

"It's freedom, it's not a crime Jacob." She said quietly.

"But where is there love?"

"LOVE? Who's talking about love? I know love is different. Do you?"

"No, the question is, do you?" he hurled back at her.

"Sex has nothing to do with love."

"Oh, Renesmee, you are so wrong. And you're cheating yourself."

"Jake, you have such sweet, childish ideas," she laughed scornfully.

"Oh, childish ideas? I guess I share the same childish ideas as our whole family."

"I guess so." She said smugly.

"No, you just don't know."

"Oh, I don't know?" she asked incredulously.

"Renesmee, I love you."

She had heard those words a million times, but it was in different context this time. Taken back by his words she stepped away as if she were slapped in the face.

"Renesmee, do you hear me, I love you. I'm in love with you."

Idiot! Idiot!

Jacob shoved his warning aside, beyond all reason. She was the reason for his existence... and in a moment that she hadn't anticipated, Jacob closed the gap between them, pressing her body close to his, his lips found hers in an instant.

Jacob could sense the shock going through her body. Apparently she had never been kissed this way before, and hope once again reared its ugly head.

Reaching his hand for her arm, he lifted it to reach around his shoulders. He could feel her hesitation… and decided to brave it and just wait it out. If she could only realize the difference between love and lust, between random sex, and love perhaps she wasn't lost…

Her arm remained rested on his shoulder and he abandoned his heart to her. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you've been down this road, and you know better. He silenced the voice in the head and allowed the warmth to flow from his body into hers. Removing his mouth from hers, he gambled, 'Nessie, do you hear me, I love you, he whispered into her ear and went to reclaim her mouth.

It only took him an instant to realize, she may need something a little stronger than sweet love, maybe she need to feel the force; how ardently he loved her. He wound his hand into her hair, gripping hard, and his other hand slipped under her loose shirt gripping and pulling at the skin on her hip, bringing her closer to him. It was here that her grip on reality loosed and she found her lips moving with his, her head winding with his. Mainly she was confused, but at the same time, this did feel different.

She could feel when the tension released from her head, and in a way she was sorry to be stopping, but at the same time, this wasn't what she expected. Everything would be ruined now…

Jacob opened his eyes as their kiss finished, and saw the confusion on her face and clearly he knew something had happened when she opened her eyes…

A/N: Thanks for reading. This update is for you; Tashay789, jemmac77 and of course veraleeon. I'm glad you are enjoying it so far.