This chapter should have been out sooner, but school got in the way. Thanks for the reviews. I only ask that u continue to give me feedback so I know whether or not you guys like the story or not. Reviews always keep me motivated too; so if u have no other reason to send a review then do it for faster updates!

Disclaimer: no own

AN: A school board has more than three members, usually, but I didn't feel like creating a band of characters; so I just stuck with three solid people. Another thing, Freddie's contract may or may not be something he illegally forged. So to all you people who might try to bust me out and say 'what Freddie has done is impossible,' It's a fictional story and I'm working with the iCarly universe; so something like this shouldn't be deemed as impossible.

iCross Dress

Ch2. Try my Fudge Balls

Freddie would never admit it, but sometimes he liked to observe Sam. He rested his back against the water fountain, analyzing every move the blonde made and questioning whether or not she was clinically insane.

"Stop being so difficult." She groaned as she tried to stuff a subway sandwich, that was the size of a human leg, into her locker.

"She's insane." The technician concluded under his breath before he casually walked over and stood next to her. "Do you need some help with that?" He spoke slowly and in a tone that could have been perceived as annoyance.

Sam turned and looked at him indifferently. Freddie expected her to say no, but the second bell was about to ring, and what good would it do for her to be late for class? The last thing she needed was another teacher to be angry with her.

"If you think you're man enough, sure, I'd love for you to help." She replied sarcastically.

Freddie rolled his eyes before he pulled the sandwich out of the locker.

"What are you doing?" she complained.

Freddie didn't answer. He broke the sandwich into five pieces, stacked the pieces inside the locker, and then shut the door with a satisfying 'click'. He turned his gaze towards Sam and said, "Is that man enough for you?" A smirk outlined his lips.

"Get outta my face Benson." She answered, using her hand to shoo the boy away.

"You're welcome." Freddie said coyly, and rapped his knuckles against the locker before he sauntered off.

Sam watched his back until he disappeared up the stairwell. "Fagola." She grumbled and stuffed her hands into her pockets. The bell rung moments later. "Great gravy!" She cursed and ran down the hall.

...

"I don't mean to be a pessimistic patty, but how is this going to keep Sam from going to Juvie?" Freddie asked and looked back at Sam who was dressed up as a sunshine girl. She held out a pack of fudge balls to a group of kids with lunch trays, but they completely ignored her. The technician clicked his teeth and lifted a spoon full of pudding to his mouth. Some of it dripped onto the table, and he frowned.

"Be quiet Patty!" Carly snapped. "I know what I'm doing."

Freddie almost rolled his eyes, but he didn't want to offend the sensitive girl. She couldn't put up with his sarcasm like Sam. "Please explain, because I'm totally lost."

Carly sighed and took a few sips from her juice box. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and looked at Freddie with big, brown, worried eyes. "I figured if I could lighten up Sam's persona, before her meeting with principal Franklin, the school board would be more susceptible to negotiation."

"Oh." It made sense. He guessed.

"I'm gonna try to convince them that Sam can change without having to go to a correctional program."

"So you made Sam a sunshine girl?" He responded. It was one of the worst ideas Carly had ever come up with.

"Yes, yes I did!" Her body tensed. "Do you have a problem with the sunshine girls, cuz I was a sunshine girl once, and I liked it very, very much!"

Freddie cocked an eyebrow. "Did you really?"

"No." she folded and sighed heavily.

Freddie squinted his eyes then nodded his head. "Carly, turning Sam into a sunshine girl isn't going to work."

"And why not?" Carly argued. She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. She looked very much like a two-year old.

On que, A scream was heard over by the vending machines. Carly and Freddie immediately turned their attention towards the commotion. Somehow Sam had managed to straddle three junior high boys, and with a menacing grin she was cramming handfuls of fudge balls into their mouths.

Carly and Freddie jumped out of their seats. They ran and dragged Sam back to her booth.

She sat down in a chair. Her fists were clenched tightly at her sides. Carly attempted to straighten the yellow hat that had gone askew on the side of her head, but Sam slapped her hand away.

"What happened?" Carly asked. "Why were you shoving fudge balls down those little boys throats?"

Sam shot air out of the bottom of her lip, and her bangs flew away from her eyes. "I was civilly trying to sell them some fudge balls, and then one of the little suckers told me he had fudge balls in his pants, and that if I wanted to, I could try one of his."

Freddie took a step back and bit his tongue. He had to keep himself from laughing.

"I see," Carly responded, "well, I guess you had every right to do what you did.

"You bet I did." The blonde seethed. "This was a stupid idea!" She tried to straighten out her uniform top, but it was too big for her. She pulled it off and dropped it to the floor. Luckily she remembered to wear a tank top… and a bra.

"I know." Carly whined and sat down in the open chair next to her. She rested her forehead at the edge of the table. "What are we going to do Freddie!" She panicked. "Sam's conference with the school board is less than three hours away."

The boy didn't answer.

".…..I'm gonna have to start planning out our last web cast." Carly lifted her head. "It's over. It's really all over."

"I got it covered." Freddie said suddenly.

Sam and Carly looked at him completely confused.

"Wha-what? How? Are you yanking my chain, Benson? Because I'm really not in the mood." Sam blinked slowly. She looked at Carly who was still staring at Freddie.

"Just trust me, alright." Freddie grinned. "I think everything is going to be ok."

Sam stood out of her seat. "You know, you could have said something before Carly made me dress up in this jank outfit." The blonde took slow, predacious steps towards the dark haired nub.

"Now, now, Sam." Freddie started to shake. "I know your angry, but let's not do anything rash. I mean, if you think about it, I'm your only hope for not going to juvie for a year; so remember what your putting on the line before you decide to rearrange my face." Freddie stopped and gave the blonde a stern look.

Sam looked him up and down, daring him to speak again. Freddie mimicked her, but immediately wish he hadn't. Sam was wearing a very short, yellow skirt with knee-high socks and a formfitting, white camisole. It was a very provocative outfit; so he, unintentionally, became aware of her body and the nice simple curves that it held. He took a noticeable step back, and Sam looked at him with an inquisitive expression on her face. It wasn't right for Freddie to think Sam was attractive, because she wasn't.

At least, that's what he told himself.

"Stop Sam." Carly interjected. If Freddie really has a plan that might work, then you shouldn't beat him up."

Sam shook her head. "No, I need to hit something."

Freddie quickly grabbed a pack of fudge balls. He pulled one of the candies out and tossed it into the air. Sam punched it with perfect precision, and the chocolate burst into a million pieces.

"Impressive." Carly said as she watched fudge particles float to the floor.

"Dido." Freddie blinked.

Sam punched fudge balls until the end of lunch.

...

"We can not have this conference unless Ms. Puckett is present." One of the school board members spoke. She was a bigger woman with thin, black glasses and curly, white hair. She looked at the other two members, their faces stiff, and they nodded with her in agreement.

Freddie wanted to be angry. It was just like Sam's mother to completely disappear when her daughter was in trouble. He breathed. He had to stay focused. He was more than positive that his plan was going to work but only if he kept his cool.

"That's why we're here ma'am." Carly spoke.

"So you and Freddie want to fill in for Sam's mom?" Principal Franklin asked while looking back and forth between the two teenagers.

"Were sort of like her parents if you think about it." Carly joked. "I mean, we try our best to take care of her and make sure she has a roof over her head, food to eat, and a nice, warm bed to sleep in at night. Right Freddie." The girl playfully tapped the boy on his arm. He smiled nervously and nodded his head. It was a shame that nothing Carly had said was a lie.

Freddie watched the three board members. The expressions on their faces were still serious. They obviously weren't buying Carly's joke, (even if the joke lamp shaded the truth) but Principal Franklin shook his head. He understood the issue with Sam's mother. "Fine, it's alright with me." he said.

"Thank you so much Principal Franklin." Freddie beamed.

"You aren't being serious." A man spoke up. He had black hair and small mole near his lip. "They're only kids. We can't have them pretending to be legal guardians of a juvenile delinquent. This isn't an imaginary game of house."

"Sam is not a Juvenile delinquent." Carly replied angrily.

"You keep telling yourself that, girl."

Freddie gritted his teeth. He grabbed his backpack, pulled out a folder, and threw it onto the principal's desk.

"What is this?" A second man asked. He leaned over Principal Franklin and picked up the folder. Inside, there was a packet. "This can't possibly be real." He twisted the end of his mustache as he looked over the content.

"But it is." Freddie smiled smugly. "That court approved contract gives me, Carly Shay, and Spencer Shay the right of ownership to Sam Puckett whenever her mom leaves Seattle for more than five days.

Carly stared at Freddie in awe.

"Of course, when her mother returns the contract is revoked but only until she is absent once again. When that happens, the contract is then renewed." No one spoke a single word. "This shouldn't be too difficult for you smart and wise adults to understand."

The man who held the contract let his counterparts read the document as well.

"If you'd like, I can call my lawyer." Freddie added. "He'll gladly set up a date with-"

"I think you made your point." The woman spoke, and the excess skin under her chin jiggled like a glob of jell-o.

Carly grabbed Freddie's arm and squeezed it. He smiled at her, fully enjoying her attention.

"Well," Principal Franklin cleared his throat, feigning to be unimpressed by Freddie's counteract, "now that the issue of Sam's mother is settled, let's begin." He pushed the button on his intercom. "Will someone please escort Sam Puckett into my office please. Thank you."

Sam entered the office still wearing only half of her sunshine girl outfit.

Freddie rubbed his hand over his face. She really should have known better then to show up like that.

The school board didn't hesitate to cast mental judgments against her.

She pulled a chair up and sat in between her two, best friends. The principal sighed and tried not to look disappointed.

"Sam, you should have worn the uniform top." Carly whispered out of the side of her mouth

The blonde shrugged.

"Samantha, do you know why you're here?" The principal asked. He strummed his fingers along the edge of his desk.

Sam gripped the arms of the chair. "Yes." She answered simply. A small scowl tugged at the bottom of her lip.

"Would you like to explain why you thought it was necessary to steal Ms. Briggs furniture out of her home and ship it to Taiwan?"

The man with the mustache and the man with the mole shook their heads, still perplexed by the absurdity of such a deed.

Sam Looked at principal Franklin and the three members of the school board with a mysterious glint in her eye. A hint of a smirk hovered over her lips, and she said. "Karma."

Freddie fingered a small hole on the side of his jeans. Sam had guts, a lot of guts, and, to a certain degree, it was almost moving. I guess he sort of admired her extreme determination, but what he'd give for her to use some commonsense.

"Are you unaware of how much trouble you're in young lady?" The woman abruptly barked. She seemed offended,….. of what…. well, there was probably a list of things.

"What Sam meant to say," Carly fidgeted with the sleeve of her shirt, "is that she is very sorry, and that she didn't know what she was thinking, and that-"

"Just stop Carly." Sam interrupted. "I meant exactly what I said." The room was silent; so she continued. "Ms. Briggs' teaching methods are extremely spiteful. She hates her students. She gives out homework assignments that are worth semester final grades and fills out detentions for people who sneeze or breathe too loudly. If she thinks a class is being loud and disruptive she makes them do push-ups until their arms practically fall off. And on test days she plays her bagpipe, claiming her music to be relaxing and brain stimulating. You can't expect anyone to complete a test with a bagpipe playing in the background!" She snapped. "And this ain't even a third of what all she's done over the past eleven years that I've been here. So she had it coming, and that's my only reasoning."

For a brief moment no one said anything. Then the man sitting next to the lady with the flab under her chin spoke. "Samantha Puckett, by the way you speak of Ms. Briggs, it is clear to us that you feel mistreated. But what you have done is committed a felony, and no matter what your reasoning may be you can not be excused for breaking the law. Now Principal Franklin was kind enough to schedule this meeting with the three of us for the sake of you possibly getting a smaller and undeserving punishment, but if you feel that what you've done isn't wrong and have absolutely no remorse then you leave us no choice then to send you to Seattle's, Juvenile delinquent, correctional center for the next eleven and a half months."

Sam didn't know what to say. Surprise was present on her features, but no one was sure whether or not she was going to apologize.

"Sam?" Freddie poked her arm. The blonde looked at him then turned her head to look at Carly.

"I'm sorry." She spoke softly.

Carly smiled and petted the back of Sam's head..

The lady looked at Sam distastefully then scoffed. "Since she has agreed to apologize for her wrong doings, her punishment will be reduced down to nine months."

"Nine months!" Carly, Freddie, and Sam all yelled.

"Yes, nine." The lady hissed. "What did you think we were going to do, suspended her until the end of the year. Don't be preposterous! There are less than two months remaining for this final semester."

"But our web show!" Carly turned her gaze to Principal Franklin. He looked positively broken, but the school board had more power over the situation then him. It was their call, not his. But it wasn't over yet. Freddie pulled out his PearPhone and quickly sent a text to Gibby. It read: Put the goose in the pot.

Sam bent over and touched her head to her thighs. "This is all my fault." She whispered to herself. Freddie thought she was crying, but when he crouched down beside her, he saw that she wasn't. "It's not over yet." He whispered into her bangs. He stood up and gave Carly a long securing look.

"I have a question." Freddie said as he turned to look at the three adults sitting behind his principal.

"What is it?" The man with the mole on his lip asked?

"Has Sam had charges pressed against her?"

"Of course," the other man answered as if Freddie were an idiot, "why else would she be registered for a correctional program?"

"Ok, that's all I wanted to know." Freddie replied and retook his seat. And like a scene from a movie, Ms. Briggs came bursting into Principal Franklin's office. Everyone jumped at the sudden disruption, except for Sam whose head was still pressed down against her thighs.

The woman straightened out her blouse and tucked a few locks of red hair back into the messy hair style she had had created with a multitude of bobby pins. She glared at Freddie then turned and smiled at the school board.

"And May I ask why you are here and not attending to your Class Ms. Briggs?" Principal Franklin asked. He folded his hands over his desk.

"Yes, well you see," She started, "I think I may have been a little hard on Ms. Puckett, and well, I've decided to drop all charges."

...

Ha! ha! ha! The next chapter will be out soon. Tell me what you think. If your planning to just tag me for an alert, plz be kind enough to tell me what you think of the chapter first. I'm really excited about this story because it's very fun and entertaining to write, and I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet; so stay tuned.

!PoodleMyNoodle!