Title: To be thankful for.
Continuity: 'A Benihana Christmas, Part One'. (Season Three's 10th episode.)
Song: -.
Feedback: Of course, reviews are highly appreciated.
Warning/Comments: Slightly A/U. Jim's POV. Drabble. This one is a little too short, I know. But it's about Jim's thoughts on Christmas and the way he feels about it when his life is clearly something different from what he'd like, and on how complicated everything is, and I figured it had to be short. (Or maybe it's just my laziness, taking over me as usual.) Anyway, I hope you like it.
So it's Christmas today. I wish I could feel happier about this, but the truth is, I don't.
Maybe if my life wasn't a mess.
Maybe if I weren't stuck here.
Maybe if I weren't an idiot who just sits and waits for his life to get fixed by magic.
Maybe if I weren't a coward.
Maybe if I were more proactive.
Maybe if I didn't have to deal with the fact that I'm dating someone that I don't love, which wouldn't be so terrible if she didn't love me, but she does.
Maybe if I could stop loving this other woman, who used to be my best friend.
Maybe if she loved me back.
Maybe if I were free.
Maybe if I could just find a way to free myself without breaking my girlfriend's heart.
Maybe if I could have some sort of certainty that the woman I love will love me back if I dare to try and conquer her heart once again.
Maybe if I stopped acting like a zombie.
Maybe if I appreciated what I have- which is not little, because Karen is an extraordinary woman - instead of wishing for the things that I don't have.
Maybe if I stopped being so comfortably numb.
Maybe if I started being a man, a real man, and faced the consequences of my mistakes.
Maybe then I could fix them.
And maybe then things would be alright.
And maybe then I'd be happy about Santa's arrival.
But the way things are right now, my life is a mess.
Yes, it's Christmas, but there's little for me to be thankful for.