Chapter 18

"So far so good," Gavin said as they moved out of the most recent passage and into another half-ruined chamber. The Deep Roads had indeed been relatively clear, only a few ragtag darkspawn to dispatch. "We haven't come across anymore cave-ins. I just can't help but wonder how far Sandal got. I half expected to find his body by now."

"As long as we find a way around for Bartrand, I don't really care what else we find," Varric grumbled. "I don't want to think of his reaction if it turns out that we've wasted all this money and time, only to be forced to go home."

"Did your brother ever mention where exactly we were heading?" Fenris asked.

"He said he knows of an ancient thaig further down and in, but-"

"He was probably blowing smoke up your ass," Carver interrupted the dwarf, his voice sullen.

"I wondered how long it would be before you started whining," Gavin sighed.

"I'm beginning to wonder why we even bothered to come here," his brother shrugged. "It's hot, crowded, dark and there's no treasure. There's not even a horde to break up the monotany."

"Maybe you should have stayed behind holding on to your mommy's apron strings," Fenris sneered.

"And maybe you should keep your mouth shut, unless you want my fist in your face," Carver growled, his hands clenching into fists.

"Try it whelp and see just how far you get," Fenris snarled, his brands starting to glow blue.

"Knock it off Carver, you're not helping," Gavin warned.

"Sure, take his side," Carver whined. "Why did you even bring me along?"

"I wanted to keep you out of trouble," his brother snapped.

"I've stayed out of trouble these last few weeks," Carver shouted back. "I've been a good little brother, just like you and mother wanted. And if you had left me behind, I would have made sure mother was taken care of and not given her cause to worry."

"I saw you with Merrill brother," Gavin said darkly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you forgotten that she practices blood magic? Or have you been so hard up for company that you just decided to ignore that," his brother sneered.

Carver felt his face heat and knew his face was beet red. "Merrill is a naive girl, and yeah we've gotten together a few times. But talking is all we've done." He didn't add that he'd often thought about doing more with the little Dalish.

"Hawke, where is this concern coming from?" Varric looked up at the mage in puzzlement. "The only danger one would be in with Merrill is if they were allergic to butterflies or bunnies. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body."

"She openly admitted to consorting with a demon and using blood magic," Fenris growled. "She's a danger to everyone, especially since she thinks there's nothing wrong with what she does. Blood mages like to control people. She can't get to Hawke, so she's set her sights on his brother."

"Let me get this straight," Carver stepped up to his brother, his voice low and dangerous. "You only brought me along to keep me away from Merrill?"

Gavin met his brother's glare with one of his own. "A few weeks away from her will insure she hasn't ensnared you already." He wasn't prepared for his brother's fist in his face and staggered backwards, slipping on some loose rocks and falling on his ass. Dazed, he looked up to see Carver still standing in place, his face red with fury, and his hands clenched at his side.

"You rotten bastard," Carver snarled. "I'm sick of you trying to control everything and run my life the way you see fit. If it wasn't for the fact that we're too far away now, I would turn around and head back to Kirkwall." He stepped forward aggressively as his brother made to get up. "Stay there," he warned.

Gavin hesitated and then decided to not push him. He'd never seen his brother like this and wasn't sure how to handle him. "Carver you don't understand. Merrill-"

"Leave her out of this," his brother shouted. "This isn't about her. This is about you always thinking that you know best, that you are the only one with the answers. You listen to me and listen real carefully. I am not a boy any longer. I will decide what I'm going to do with my life. I will decide who I do or do not see. You and mother are just going to have to get used to it. When we get out of here, I am going to take my share of the money and get my own place. You and mother want the estate, you're welcome to it."

They watched silently as the boy stalked away from them, his anger apparent in every step. Varric was speechless for a change. Fenris turned and held his hand out to help the mage up.

"I guess I deserved that," Gavin said quietly.

"Apparently your brother is starting to grow up and take responsibility for his life," the elf nodded.

"Apparently so," the mage said softly, rubbing his jaw. "He has a mean right hook."

"Listen Hawke," the dwarf said earnestly. "I know you don't exactly trust Merrill, but you should at least try to give her a chance. Especially if your brother is going to be seeing her. Family is important, especially brothers, even if half the time you want to wring their necks. If you don't let him find his own way in life, you will regret it one day."

A long silence fell as they stood there staring at the young man standing with his back to them. Finally, Fenris roused them out of it. "Come on. We still have to find a way around for Bartrand. Also, I don't think it's wise for us to stay in one place too long."

"I'll go get little Hawke," Varric said and headed off.

Gavin turned to Fenris, "Do you think I'm in the wrong where my brother and Merrill are concerned?"

Fenris hesitated, not because he disagreed with the mage, but because he didn't want to further the tension between the brothers. "You know my feelings on the subject Gavin. But, Varric has a point. This is your brother, and even though I can't remember anything of my past, I do believe that family is important."

"So you agree then," he pressed.

"I agree that Merrill is naive, and dangerous because of it," the elf answered slowly. "But, perhaps you can be less obvious in your opposition, at least until you have proof to back up your suspicions."

"But it would be too late by then," Gavin protested.

"No, it wouldn't," Fenris shook his head. "If a blood mage gets control of someone, then killing the mage frees the person from that control. As long as the person was not under the mage's influence too long, they usually recover fully from the ordeal."

"How long is too long?"

Fenris frowned thoughtfully, "I'm not really sure, but usually if it's less than a year, there is no permanent damage to the victim. And there are signs that can be found sooner than that if one is looking for them."

"So, I should just let things be for a while then," Gavin mused thoughtfully.

"If you want to keep a relationship with your brother and peace in your family, then yes," the elf agreed.

Gavin silently watched Varric returning with Carver. His brother seemed to have calmed down somewhat and he silently thanked the dwarf. "I guess I'll just have to get used to seeing my brother and Merrill together."

Carver stopped in front of his brother and folded his arms across his chest, waiting. "You going to just stand there or what?" he finally asked, his voice much calmer than before, even though his eyes were still hard and angry.

Gavin heard the dwarf clear his throat and looked down to see him watching with an expectant look on his face. He closed his eyes, sighed and then steeled himself for what he had to do. "Brother, I'm sorry. I let my suspicions and fear cloud my judgement. I should have asked you to come with me and given you a chance to say no if you wanted to. As for you and Merrill..."

"Stop right there," Carver held up his hand. "I neither need nor want your blessing in that matter. As for forcing me to come along, well, you didn't really do that. I wanted to come along. I was tired of being left out of all the exciting things. Just because this trip didn't match up to my expectations, doesn't mean I don't believe in what we're doing."

"Good, now let's consider this whole situation water under the bridge and get going," Varric smiled and clapped his hands. "We take too much longer and Bartrand might just give up and go home, leaving us to fend for ourselves."

"I think I might actually prefer that dwarf," Fenris muttered. "Your brother's mere voice gives me a headache."

"Bartrand's mere presence gives me a headache," Carver snorted, a smile coming to his face.

"Yeah, well, you don't have to live with him so count yourself lucky," Varric muttered as he turned and headed off to the hole in the chamber wall he'd passed when he went to get the kid. "There's another tunnel up here, let's hope it actually leads somewhere."

"Go on brother, I've got your back," Carver motioned him forward.

Gavin nodded and moved off, Fenris falling into step with him as always. He found that he actually felt comfortable with his brother at his back. Maybe it was time to stop fighting him and just accept the kid for who he was. That would make his mother happy and she deserved at least a little happiness, after having lost so much. He made a resolution to treat his brother as an equal form this day forward.

Carver watched his brother walking ahead of him, his ears tuned to potential foot falls behind them. He meant what he'd said, he had his brother's back and he wasn't going to let him down again. Gavin had good reason to doubt his ability to take care of himself, because he hadn't ever shown him anything to prove otherwise. This expedition was his chance to prove to himself and everyone else that he was capable. After this, he would no longer be stuck in his brother's shadow.

Their mother had often compared the two of them to their father and grandfather. It was funny that even though Gavin took after their father in looks, he had the same argumentative and stubborn personality of their Amell grandfather as himself. He knew his brother was sincere in his apology. Gavin was never anything but honest with his family, sometimes bluntly so. His twin, Maker keep her, also had always been honest with everyone. He was the only one who often kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. That was the one Amell trait that he alone seemed to have inherited. Well, he would just have to see about changing that, starting from this point onward. Maybe if he'd been more open before now, things wouldn't have reached this point in the first place. Shaking his head, he pushed these thoughts aside. Down here, getting distracted could get you killed.