Chapter Eight

Charlie felt strange as she headed home from spending the afternoon with Joey. They had talked incessantly after getting over their awkwardness and nerves. It had almost felt like old times and they had even managed to share a laugh or two. They'd talked about what had happened between them and Charlie had apologised at least fifteen times. Joey had granted her the forgiveness she had craved all this time and it meant the world. She'd shared what she had been up to and the things she had seen on her travels during her time away. Charlie had reluctantly explained everything that had happened to her including the human trafficking ring Hugo had been involved with and the truth about Ruby's parentage. Joey had been understandably surprised but she'd been so kind about it. For the first time, Charlie had felt comforted talking about it and she felt like Joey really understood her and wasn't judging her. Of all the people in the world, Joey should be the person to judge her. And yet she hadn't. Arriving home, Charlie took her shopping into the house.

"Sorry," she said when she walked in on Leah and Elijah kissing in the kitchen.

The both blushed and parted.

"I was just going anyway," Elijah said, kissing Leah one more time before preparing to make his exit.

"Not on my account, I hope," Charlie said.

"No, no, I've got a meeting," Elijah said.

Kissing Leah one last time, he departed. Charlie smiled at how happy her friend was.

"Been shopping?" Leah asked as she began rummaging around in cupboards to make something for dinner.

"Yeah, just a bit of retail therapy," Charlie said.

She was desperate to talk about Joey but she hardly knew where to begin.

"Don't tell me," Leah grinned. "Housey stuff for your new place with Angelo."

Charlie failed to be enthusiastic and sank onto a chair.

"We haven't even found somewhere yet," Charlie said. "But don't worry. I'll be out of your hair by the wedding."

Leah turned to face her, noting the sadness in her voice.

"There's no hurry," she said, sitting down too. "I just thought you'd be all eager and excited to live with him."

Charlie's sighed heavily.

"You're not happy about it, are you?" Leah realised.

Charlie shook her head.

"I don't want to be with him," she admitted. "Let alone live with him."

Leah put a comforting hand on her arm.

"Charlie, I thought you were happy," she said. "What's all this about?"

"I saw Joey today," Charlie admitted.

Leah's eyes widened.

"You saw Joey?"

Charlie nodded and explained how they had bumped into each other in town.

"We talked all afternoon and..."

"And now you want to dump Angelo?" Leah asked. "Because Joey's on the scene?"

Charlie shook her head and took a deep breath before explaining that nothing had felt right with Angelo, not from the first moment they got back together the year before. All that time, she had been missing Joey and she knew that she would always be the one. She'd tried to make things work with Angelo but he was pushing too far and asking too much and everything felt terribly out of control. She cared about him but she didn't love him and she never had. She didn't want to be with him anymore, even if she couldn't have Joey. She doubted she could have Joey but she was grateful just to be her friend after everything that had happened.

"So, what now?" Leah wondered.

"I guess I have to break up with Angelo," Charlie said unhappily. "Again."

Joey's mind was still reeling well after Charlie left. It had been so confusing and yet so wonderful to see her again. She was still as beautiful as she had always been, if not more so. And yet there was something terribly tragic about her now. Joey couldn't help but feel sorry for her and all she had been through and she couldn't, for the life of her, understand why she was in a dead end relationship when she clearly wasn't happy. Was she that desperate to be with someone? Did she need to be loved that badly? She wondered where they stood now and if they would cope with being friends. How would they fit in each other's lives now? How could two people who had loved and lost each other as hard as they had, ever be platonic? Joey didn't even know if she wanted to be platonic. She loved Charlie. She always had. Just one afternoon together and all those old feelings had returned. Shaking her head, Joey decided to have a nice, hot bath and clear her head a little. This was all a little too much.

Angelo was surprised and a little disappointed when he arrived at the house and found Charlie just in jeans and a t-shirt. She looked hot but casual and it wasn't like her not to make an effort for a dinner date, especially when he had made it more than a little obvious how much he was expecting to pay for their meals.

"Are you ready?" he asked, not wanting to criticise how she looked.

"Can we stay here this evening?" Charlie asked, leading him through the kitchen and into the lounge.

Angelo felt a thrill go through him at the prospect of a cosy night in. The restaurant would be there another time. Since they'd got back together this time around, Charlie hadn't seemed quite as passionate as she had once been and he hoped that tonight might be a turn in the right direction. He felt his delight cut short when he caught Charlie's serious expression.

"Is everything okay, Charlie?" he asked.

His girlfriend shook her head. He reached out to hold her hands, hoping that something awful but unrelated to their relationship had happened. If she was having some kind of personal crisis then he could help her deal with it. But if she was starting to have doubts, that's where they always ran into trouble.

"Charlie, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," she managed.

He dropped her hands with more force than he had really intended. She pulled them back onto her lap protectively.

"What the hell are you talking about, Charlie?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He stood up, beginning to pace in frustration.

"Why are you doing this now? Again?"

"Things haven't been right since..."

"Since when?" he snapped, standing right in front of her, towering above her.

She shrank back again.

"Angelo, we haven't been working out for a long time. That's why we split up before."

"No, we split up because you're a commitment-phobe," he argued.

"We're not right for each other," Charlie insisted.

Angelo sat back down beside her, leaning in close.

"Charlie, whatever you're freaking out about now, we can work through it," he said. "We've always worked through it. We're best friends! We're everything to each other. Aren't we?"

"I wish you could be my everything," Charlie said softly. "But you're not."

"Charlie!" he said desperately. "We love each other."

Charlie chewed her lip so hard that it began to bleed. She met his gaze and took a deep breath.

"I love you," she said. "You are one of my closest friends. And I hope maybe we can continue that but... I'm not in love with you. It's not romantic."

"Then why the hell do we keep ending up in bed together?" he yelled.

"Because I'm so messed up!" Charlie admitted. "I don't know who I am, how I feel, what I want..."

"Then don't make such a big decision now," Angelo said, taking her hands again. "Let's just spend the evening together and you'll... you'll see how perfect we are for each other."

Nobody was perfect for her. She was too messed up to be somebody's girlfriend. But if there was ever a person that Charlie wanted to strive to be perfect for, it was Joey. It would be a hard road to get there. How could someone who'd made such a mess of her life ever be truly good enough for someone so wonderful? She didn't know but she knew she needed to try.

"I know this is the right thing to do," she said resolutely.

"What, so I don't even get a say?" Angelo asked. "You're just breaking up with me? What about moving in together? Charlie, I thought we had it all planned."

"You had it all planned," Charlie said. "And I wish it was different but this isn't right for me. It's not what I want."

He leant in and kissed her. She jerked back in surprise.

"Angelo..."

"Look, I don't understand why you have to do this over and over again," he said. "But why bother breaking up with me now when we're just going to get back together later? Let's just skip the pain, okay?"

He kissed her again. She pushed him away, and inched back, wanting to create a distance between them.

"We're not going to get back together this time," she said firmly.

"You said that last time," he said, kissing her again.

"Angelo, stop..." Charlie begged, pushing him back.

He continued to lean over her as she struggled against him.

"Charlie, just give me one night," he said. "One chance to prove to you how amazing we are."

His confidence irritated her and she just wanted him to go. He kissed her again, holding one of her wrists above her head and using his free hand to grope her. Feeling trapped, Charlie instinctively drew her free hand back, wanting to get him away from her. She punched him.

Joey was out of the bath and wrapped in a big fluffy dressing gown. Making herself a hot chocolate, she eyed the rest of the chocolate cake, the remnant of another failed relationship. Sighing, her mind drifted to Charlie, wondering what she was doing now and if she was okay. She'd seemed so sad today. It wasn't like the times that she'd cried over Joey moving out or leaving town. She seemed depressed and hollow. It worried Joey and she hoped she might be able to help her somehow. Just as she was heading back into the lounge, pondering a DVD, the doorbell rang. She set her drink down and headed to the front door.

"Charlie!" she exclaimed when she saw her ex standing there looking helpless.