Chapter 19

Carver fell to one knee, his sword clattering to the stone beside him, and tried to catch his breath. Every muscle in his body was screaming and he could feel blood dripping from a few minor wounds. The huge rock creature they had just defeated had been extremely tough. He looked around to see how the others had fared and spied Varric standing near cradling his right arm. "Are you alright?"

The dwarf looked at the young man, saw the worry, and hastened to reassure him, "Nothing your brother can't fix easily enough."

"Hawke can't help you right now," Fenris stated as he tossed some linen to them. "Field dress any serious wounds you have." He turned and walked back to the far wall to kneel beside the mage.

Carver scrambled to his feet and hurried over, followed by Varric. He saw his brother sitting back against the wall, eyes closed, with a cloth held to his nose. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Hawke, not again," Varric sighed. "You gotta cut this shit out."

"It's not so bad this time," the mage replied softly. "Only a mild headache and I think the bleeding is stopping."

Carver felt a shiver run down his back. He'd never heard his brother sound so weak and tired before. "Someone explain to me what you're talking about."

"Hawke sometimes gets carried away using his magic," the dwarf replied. "He strains himself doing it."

Fenris could see the kid didn't understand. "When you first picked up a sword it hurt to use it, strained every muscle in your body right?" He saw the kid nod and continued. "With steady practice your body became used to the stress of fighting. Hawke has had to hide his magic to protect you. Because he hasn't practiced, his body isn't used to the strain. If he's not careful, he could kill himself."

Gavin saw the alarm flood his brother's face and quickly reassured him, "It's not as bad as he makes it seem. I was more careful this time." He saw the elf about to protest and shook his head slightly. Now was not the time to debate the issue. "I thought I saw a treasure horde off to the right with a door next to it. It may be we've found a way out of here. We'll rest here for an hour or so." He closed his eyes again.

Carver cast one last worried look at his brother before following Varric to the other side. They searched through it, pulling out the best pieces and all the gold coin they could. Fenris rummaged through their packs and pulled out a couple of extra shirts and trousers to use as makeshift satchels.

Varric gave a delighted shout and held up a small key, "Let's see if this unlocks that door."

Gavin felt someone beside him and opened his eyes to see his brother kneeling next to him holding a beautiful staff in his hands. "What's that?"

"I think it's a magic staff, but I'm not sure," he held it out for his brother to take.

Gavin gripped the staff and instantly felt the power of the runes embedded in it. It was unlike any staff he'd seen before. It looked like an ordinary walking stick, except that it had a blade of blue steel melded to one end. The blade itself was about a foot long and sharp on both sides, tapering to a wicked looking point on the end. The runes embedded in it seemed to be removable, meaning it could be customized to utilize any magic available to him. "It's beautiful."

"At first glance it looks like a fancy spear of some kind," Carver pointed out. "It's something I think you could carry openly and still not attract templar attention." He saw his brother's look of astonishment and smiled slightly. "Consider it a peace offering."

Varric smiled to Fenris as he watched the two brothers. "Looks like maybe they'll actually work out their differences."

"Perhaps, we'll see," the elf retorted. He didn't add his opinion that a person didn't change over night and that it would take more than a single battle and single gift to bridge the gap. "We should see if that door leads to a way back to the surface."

They checked it out and found a tunnel leading upwards. Once Gavin had recovered enough to move, they gathered up what treasure they could comfortably carry and moved on. Varric took the lead. Being a dwarf, he had a better head underground than the rest of them. Following his instincts, he soon found another tunnel that headed towards the surface and led them down it.

They travelled as quickly as they could, pausing to rest only for as long as necessary. None of them wanted to spend any longer in the Deep Roads than necessary. On their second day, they encountered a small horde of darkspawn, but after the Rock Wraith, the battle seemed a breeze. They rested for half a day after that before moving on. It was four more days before they had managed to get back to where they had entered the ancient thaig. Bartrand and his crew were long gone.

Carver had been feeling shaky for the past couple of days. He had refrained from saying anything, not wanting to worry his brother. He knew though that he would no longer be able to hide it, he was getting weaker by the hour. "Can we rest here for a while, I don't feel very good."

"Yeah, I think it wasn't such a good idea to have eaten those mushrooms we found," Gavin said holding his stomach.

"No, it's not that," Carver said and dropped to his knees.

Gavin turned to see his brother slumped by the dead fire pit. "Carver, what is it?" he asked as he hurried over. He could see brother was ill and hurriedly checked him for wounds. "Where are you injured?"

"I'm not, I think, no I know," Carver looked up, fear in his eyes. "It's the taint. I'm going to die, just like that templar Wesley."

"NO! Don't say that," Gavin protested. "You're not going to die, I won't let it happen. Another week will see us back in Kirkwall. We'll take you to Anders, he can help you."

"I won't make it," his brother shook his head. "Even if I survived the trip, Anders can't help. I told him about Wesley, asked him what else we could have done. He said only senior Wardens know how to perform the ritual to make someone a Warden. Without that, there is no hope."

"Oh junior," Varric groaned. "Even though the wardens enter the Deep Roads all the time, there's no way of knowing where any of them might be. We could search for weeks and not find anyone."

Fenris said quietly, "I'll light a fire and set the camp." He motioned Varric to help him. "Let them have some time to say their goodbyes."

They spent the rest of the day occupying themselves as Gavin and Carver talked quietly to each other. They heard occasional laughter and caught snatches of conversations about their lives as children in Ferelden. But, there was an air of sadness about it all.

After a night of restless sleep, his dreams haunted by visions of darkspawn, Carver awoke knowing what would have to be done. What he didn't know was if he could do it himself and resigned himself to asking his brother to help. "Brother, are you awake."

"I'm here Carver," Gavin quickly knelt beside him.

"Promise me you'll look after our mother, she'll need your support," the boy said quietly and saw him nod. "I don't want to lose myself to the corruption. Anders told me what happens to those who become tainted. It's a fate worse than death." He saw Gavin shake his head as tears filled his eyes. "I don't think I can do it alone. Please brother, help me die."

"You never ask me for simple things," Gavin choked out. After a long silence, he nodded his agreement.

"I'll get to see father and Bethany again," Carver smiled. "I know I've not said it before, but I love you brother." He turned his gaze towards their companions. "Watch out for him, make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble." He saw them nod and closed his eyes briefly. Taking a deep breath, he reached down and withdrew the dagger he kept in his right boot. As he moved it into position, he felt his brother's hand cover his and smiled. "Thank you."

When it was done, Gavin gathered his brother in his arms and wept bitterly. Because of him, he had now lost both his siblings. Because of him, his little brother would never grow up to be the man he wanted to be. He shouldn't have brought him down here. If anyone should have died on this trip, it should have been him. How was he going to face his mother now?

Fenris and Varric waited silently as they watched their friend grieve. The dwarf looked at the treasure and knew they were all wealthy men now. But, he sensed that this would be of little comfort to Hawke. If he could have gotten his hands on Bartrand right then, he would have choked his brother to death. If not for that, they all would have left the Deep Roads alive. He looked up as Gavin approached.

"I don't want the darkspawn defiling my brohter's body," the mage told them, his voice rough with emotion. "Will you help me build a cairn for him?"

"Of course Hawke," Fenris stood up followed by the dwarf. In silence, the three of them gathered stones and placed them over Carver's body. It took a couple of hours and they were all tired, but none of them wanted to remain there.

"That's the best we can do, let's go," Gavin said quietly and began to gather up their things. He picked up the staff his brother had given him only a week ago. Even if it brought unwanted attention, he would carry it in his brother's honor. He owed him that much. Looking at the others and seeing they were ready he motioned them to follow him. When he reached a bend in the tunnel, he paused and looked back. He debated whether he should have left the treasure behind and carried his brother's body out.

As if sensing his thoughts, Varric touched his arm and said, "Hawke, the money you earn from the sale of this treasure will set your mother up for life. That's what you wanted to come on this trip for."

"He's in the hands of the Maker now, trust in that," Fenris said quietly.

Gavin nodded and, after taking one final look, turned and moved on. His step was heavy and the treasure he carried felt like a dead weight in his arms. His thoughts went back to that day they had left Kirkwall. His mother had come and begged him to leave Carver behind. His brother had protested and he'd agreed with him simply because he wanted to keep him away from the Dalish girl. He had been stupid, arrogant and selfish and Carver had paid the price. It should have been him that died.

Fenris watched the mage and tried to find something to say, but words failed him. Really, what could he say that wouldn't sound empty and trite. Instead, he moved to walk beside him, hoping in this way to convey his support. He hoped that Gavin would be strong enough to overcome this loss. If not, then he could very well end up losing the only friend he'd ever had.

It was a long silent journey home.